Just a note to say a few names in this blog have been changed.
I've just got back from a week in France. I went with two of my children, my cousin and a group of other disabled people and helpers to Lourdes in France. We didn't actually go to Lourdes, we went to Bartres where HCPT have a house set up for people with special needs. My cousin Tess, who accompanied me, is exactly the same age as I am and has Downs syndrome. In our group there were several other people with the same condition, as well as a few people with other challenges. With Downs Syndrome there is a wide spectrum of how it effects people. One of our party who is affected by this condition is a successful actress. She has appeared in Eastenders, Casualty and Hellboy to name but a few. On the final night we had a talent show and she danced for us. It is fair to say that she's far more accomplished a dancer than I could even dream of being. Last night I was discussing with my wife and children how the trip went (my wife was at the National Swimming championships with my eldest daughter whilst |I was away). My two youngest children were amazed to hear that Jo had a condition, having spent a week in her company. They had assumed she was a helper (for want of a better label). They asked "what is wrong with her?" I replied "Nothing is wrong with her, she's just a bit different". However you may or may not perceive people suffering with Downs syndrome, she breaks the mold completely. her parents never accepted the concept that she was different and enabled her to follow her dreams and aspirations. She's an intelligent and accomplished young woman, who I feel privelidged to have spent some time with.
Having said all of that, just to base our views on the fact that someone is a high achiever rather misses the point. At the other end of the scale we had Max. He suffers from a range of conditions as well as Downs. His vocabulary is rather limited. Food is "Om" and there are a range of other noises which tell us when he's happy, sad, irritated or otherwise. He's confined to wheel chair for virtually the whole time and due to other problems, even moving him has issues. If you saw him and didn't know him, you may form all sorts of opinions. Once you get to know him, you realise that he's intelligent, a bit of a comedian and a bit of a troublemaker (rather like most of my friends). It is fair to say that he's probably the star of our group and if he couldn't go, I think we'd all desperately miss him.
We all go as helpers for our own reasons. I find it helps me to stay grounded and realise how lucky I am with the hand I've been dealt. You may think that such a week is for pious do gooders. You'd be wrong. Our group has people from all walks of life. As well as the doctors, nurses and teachers, we've got actresses, a TV producer, a holistic therapist, a shop manager, a Michelin starred chef (to name but a few). At a guess, at least 50% of the group aren't Roman Catholics and some are not of any faith. Bartres is up in the foothills of the Pyranees. It is a beautiful, peaceful place and is one of my favourite places in the world. HCPT run a fantastic operation. For many people it is the only holiday they get and it provides respite for families, who know that their loved ones are in a safe, happy environment.
One thought always chills me. During the second world war, that part of France was under Nazi occupation. Had our group visited in 1944, then at least 8 of us would have been taken away and gassed for being disabled under the Nazi policy of Eugenics. There are some of us today who still have such views. One of the reasons I take my children is so they can learn that we all have worth and value. From our conversations since returning, I think they've learned.
I would say this to anyone who dismisses the worth and value of the disabled. Go with a group as a helper. You might learn something
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