Bronze Service - For a mere £500 per year you can get a pack of three Asbos for your neighbours, guaranteed to be delivered within 14 days
Silver Service - For a mere £1,000 per year you can get a pack of five Asbos for your neighbours, guaranteed to be delivered within 14 days and your very own PCO to visit you once a week to cheer you up
Gold Service - This is a premier service for the more well heeled resident. For £2,000 per year you can get five ASBOs, an injunction* and an eviction* for any nuaghty neignbours. You will get a visit from a real proper policeman once a week and you'll get dinner once a month with the chief constable.
* Terms, conditions and English Law may apply
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Sadly the Barnet ASBO+ service is a complete figment of my imagination. I was asked how Easycouncil may work by a researcher for a media company recently. I came up with it as an illustration. Rather amusingly I was asked "Are they really proposing this?".
You see the rather bizarre truth is that having spent millions on consultants to draw up the Easycouncil scheme over several years, none of us are any the wiser as to what it actually means. I think ASBO+ is the closest thing I've heard of to a new innovative service which they could introduce.
Rog
ReplyDeleteLynne Hillan was interviewed by the BBC last week and she could explain any benefits of EasyCouncil either.
http://www.notthebarnettimes.co.uk/2010/04/lynne-hillan-paxmanned.html
Rog: I don't know whether to laugh or cry ... you have no idea how accurate this is, or will be. Haven't had dinner with the Chief Constable yet, but have had a long interview with the deputy Borough Commander at Colindale Police Station, which ended with him pointing out the Custody Suite, with rather too much enthusiasm, I felt ...
ReplyDeleteTypo in my post. Should be "couldn't explain" not "could"!!
ReplyDeletePS if the Chief Constable is interested, Mrs Angry is available for dinner, breakfast, and/or a naughty weekend in Skegness as long as he promises to get rid of our troublesome neighbours ...
ReplyDeleteMrs Angry,
ReplyDeleteI don't wish to spoil your fun, or cast aspersions on the chief constable, but fellas will promise anything for a dirty weekend in Skegness and they don't always keep their side of the bargain !
ha ha - don't I know it - but then again, a weekend in Skegness is better than a weekend here, I can tell you ... well possibly. Wonder what gets you an ASBO in Skeggie?
ReplyDelete