Brian Colemans lucky escape from the Angry Brigade

Barnet Councillor Brian Coleman (AKA "The Nemesis of the Firemen","Mr Toad","Hyacynth Bucket"....) had  a lucky excape from a bunch of well known local troublemakers known as the Angry Brigade. The Leader of this bunch of revolutionary troublemakers is known as "Mrs Angry" and she broadcasts coded messages to her dedicated band of followers via blog called "Broken Barnet". Although her true identity is shrouded in mystery, certain facts are known about her. She has a penchant for ageing Tories who ar fluent in Spanish and have moustaches. Her second in command is known as "Mrs X" and she has infiltrated several local panels set up by Barnet Council, leading to their closure. She refers to other members of her terrorist cell as "her family" (a rather sweet Mansonesque touch).

Anyway, "The Angry Family" recently managed to infiltrate the Finchley Catholic High School prizegiving ceremony. They had been made aware of the fact that Councillor Bucket Coleman would be attending. It is beleived that Mrs Angry had managed to obtain scandalous pictures of certain member of staff using techniques gleaned at a Womens Institute training camp. She then used this to ensure that "her son" received an award and would get near enough to Councillor Bucket Coleman to execute their evil plan (details of which are still cagey). Now the ever efficient Barnet Tories had sent two "heavies" to act as minders with Councillor Bucket. These were Councillors Braun and Cornelius. Braun is what is known in the trade as a "clean skin". Nothing at all is known about her. Her file on Barnet Councils website is completely clean. She has no address, no home and no income. She doesn't even belong to the Conservative Party. Rumour has it that she's skilled in the ancient art of Origami, which is why her Boss, Lynne Hillan sent her for the assignment. As for Cornelius, it is believed that Hillan mixed his file up with that of Jerry Cornelius - Mythical figure known as the English Assasin.

Clearly, these two would be no match for a full strength hit squad from the Angry Brigade. Fortunately a hero stepped into the breach. Former Gordon Brown sideman, Damien McBride, is now the man responsible for organising dinners and prizegivings at FCHS. Using skills gleaned as the sideman for Great Britains most popular ever Prime Minister, he was able to tap into the MI5 security network and rumble the plan. Now if you were organising a prizegiving and you knew Barnets No 1 dissident was attending with her crew, what would you do? McBride played a blinder. He recruited former Norther Ireland Police Chief, Hugh Orde, to organise security. As a masterstroke, he made Hugh Orde guest of honour and he even made a speech.

The Angry Brigade were thus completely stymied. "Son of Angry" meekly accepted his prize. As the evening finished, the Angry Brigade somehow managed to sneak past onsite security and escape. Whilst Councillor Bucket Coleman, never talks to the Barnet Eye, we did manage to get a quote from a third party.

Here are the words of Brian Coleman :-

I owe my life to Damien McBride. His father taught me at QE Boys School and I can now honestly say I owe the McBrides everything I have. Hugh Orde is a shining example of a policeman and his wise words about the art of negotiating will live with me forever. I have long said that I will thwart the plans of evil, malcontent bloggers in Barnet and I'm pleased to be able to annouce that yet again, with the help of Mr McBride I have triumphed.

Of course my friend who interviewed Mr Coleman was a bit tipsy at the time, so it's always possible that these weren't Colemans exact words. The people of Barnet owe Mr McBride, Hugh Orde and the staff of FCHS a huge debt for saving Mr Coleman. Without their efforts, who knows what terrible fate may have befallen Councillor Hyacynth Bucket. Rumour has it that Mrs Angry had planned to lock him in her shed, pin his eyes open with matchsticks and force him to watch "Londons Burning" on a 24 hour loop until he succumbed to Stockholm Syndrome and joined her nasty gang.

The Barnet Eye has managed to find this broadcast from Mrs Angry for her followers.
http://wwwbrokenbarnet.blogspot.com/2010/11/mrs-angrys-register-of-interestsa-night.html

Clearly this account has been heavily distorted to play down the terribly humiliating defeat that Brian Coleman has inflicted upon her. Personally, I think if Mrs Angry really was a proper anarchist, she'd be far better off leaving Councillor Bucket where he is. He's doing far more damage to the Conservatives with his buffoonary than could possibly be acheived if he was brainwashed into being a reasonable human being