She's Not All She Seems - Time to face the music

There is a superb post on Scarletts blog today about her coming to terms with her own past and being comfortable with herself - http://heavenlyhealer.blogspot.com/2010/11/i-d-covers-book-party.html - it started me thinking about my own past and the beginnings of my career in music. There are some aspects of this that I've never felt comfortable with and some issues which have never been resolved. I wasn't interested in music until 6th July 1977, when I was fourteen years old. On that day I saw The Ramones, Talking  Heads and The Saints at the Roundhouse and it changed my life. I immediately decided to form a band and become a punk rocker. At the time I was at Finchley Catholic High School. It is fair to say there wasn't much interest in punk rock at the school in my class. I was desperate to form a band. I teamed up with another FCHS boy, Peter Conway, who I'd known since I was four years old. Pete also had got into punk rock. It is fair to say Pete wasn't particularly popular at FCHS in his class. He'd been the subject of an accusation by another class member, which had indicated he was gay. In the 1970's this was the next best thing to a death sentence at FCHS. The guy who made the accusation was a popular member of his class and the accusation had been believed.

To be honest, whilst forming a band with Pete Conway had risks, I really couldn't give a shit about the accusation. I knew Pete well and didn't believe it.  Neither of us could play, but we were convinced that we had talent. Every night we'd sit writing tunes (to the detriment of our studies). The songs were generally complete rubbish. When I wasn't writing songs, I was listening to music and trying to get inspiration. I happened on a Velvet Underground album belonging to big Bruv Laurie. This was the magic ingredient we'd been missing. I played it to Pete and he instantly got it. I then proposed that we stick two fingers up at everyone and write a song about sexual fantasies concerning transvestite prostitutes. For the record, this wasn't because these were to my taste, it was because we thought this was the most shocking thing we could possibly write. Pete then suggested we write it sympathetically and effectively put the blame on society for marginalising the character. At the time, I was 14 and Pete was 15. To make it even more radical, we decided to use acoustic guitars rather than a heavy punk sound. Wheras we'd taken 10 minutes to write every other song, we crafted the lyrics and music over a period of three or four weeks.

At the time, Paul Marvin (son of Hank) was our drummer. We were rehearsing in my sister Caroline's flat. We knocked the song into shape and were so astounded with the result, we went around to the neighbours, a bunch of ageing hippies and dragged them in to listen to it. This was the world debut of the song.  They were gobsmacked. They'd never taken us seriously, but they got it instantly. The trouble was we only had one song of note.

By the time we had a band capable of performing a set, Pete Conway and Paul Marvin had departed (both fairly acrimonioulsy). Although we recorded "Not All She Seems" on our first two demos and made a video of it at Harrow School of Art (again a real innovation at the time), by the time we started playing it, I'd bottled out of telling people what the true meaning of the song was.  When people asked, I always told them that it referred to an incident at the Moonlight Club, where a blind drunk Pete Conway attempted to chat up a Transvestite without realising (until I started to wind him up). In actual fact this happened a year after the song was written.

What really prompted me to write this blog was when I read Scarletts blog, I dug out my old scrap book. I found an old piece of paper, with a hand written note. It said "The False Dots - Not All She Seems - The band that stands up for the people that everyone hates - The band that takes no shit". I wish that we'd really lived up to that billing.

Several years later, I saw the guy who made the accusation against Pete Conway in the Railway Pub in Mill Hill. I asked him outright if the accusation he'd made was true. He looked incredibly embarrassed and confessed that it was a joke which went wrong. I asked if he'd realise that he'd ruined Pete's education and he said "Yes, but you know what it's like". Pete had a hard time and developed into a very prickly character. I believe he's doing OK now. I've not seen him since 1984 and I believe he wants things to stay like that. To be honest, so do I.

I've been reflecting on the whole music scene. We need a few bands to emerge who do give a shit, who will challenge the status quo and the X factor instant bland fame culture. We need a few bands to write songs they care about, born out of frustration and anger at how things are. As we head for massive cuts, I suspect that soon a few kids might start doodling on scrapbooks in the way I did in 1978. I certainly hope so.

Have a lovely Friday evening !