Earlier in the week, MP for Hendon Matthew Offord explained on Twitter how the Prime Minister mistook him for a soup waiter in the House of Commons restaurant. We commissioned a team of the Barnet Eye's finest joke writers to come up with a few other possible conversations :-
To William Hague.
Q: Can we give Peace a chance?
A: No, I had the peas yesterday, I'll have minestrone
To Theresa May
Q: I can give you super sex.
A: I'll have the soup please, I don't sleep with the servants
To Vince Cable
Q: Are you still considering the nuclear option
A: No, the bread and soup option will do fine
To the member for South Norfolk
Q: Hello Bacon
A: No, I'll have the Tomato soup today
We'd suggest that if he really wants to make a career of this waiter business, he nicks his old mate Mike Freer MP's catchphrase "I know nothing". It propelled a certain waiter from Barcelona to international superstardom.
(Please note the above conversations are purely inventions of the Barnet Eye jokes department, and have been specifically written to help cheer up our local MP as he recovers from his eye operation).
To William Hague.
Q: Can we give Peace a chance?
A: No, I had the peas yesterday, I'll have minestrone
To Theresa May
Q: I can give you super sex.
A: I'll have the soup please, I don't sleep with the servants
To Vince Cable
Q: Are you still considering the nuclear option
A: No, the bread and soup option will do fine
To the member for South Norfolk
Q: Hello Bacon
A: No, I'll have the Tomato soup today
We'd suggest that if he really wants to make a career of this waiter business, he nicks his old mate Mike Freer MP's catchphrase "I know nothing". It propelled a certain waiter from Barcelona to international superstardom.
(Please note the above conversations are purely inventions of the Barnet Eye jokes department, and have been specifically written to help cheer up our local MP as he recovers from his eye operation).
I thought you were going to say "nicks his old mate Mike Freer MP's VAN" - he could then provide Meals on Wheels.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Daniel Hope: the "Manuel Offord" nickname will stick.