The Friday the 13th Joke

As is our tradition in Barnet (as started by VickiM), here is the Friday joke. Following criticism from Richard Dawkins and his band of militant secularist Athiests, we've issued two versions of this joke. One for believers and one for Athiests


Friday Joke For Believers

While walking down the street one day promenant London Assembly Member, Brian Coleman is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.'

'No problem, just let me in, 'says the Brian.

'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity'.

'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says Brian.

'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'

And with that, St. Peter puts him in a taxi (on heavan's expense account) and he goes down, down, down to hell. He finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a the Hell Town Hall and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the taxpayer.
Brian is lead off to the most magnificent buffet he has ever seen and dines on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and pack him off into a Hellcabs taxi . The Taxigoes up, up, up and the door opens at heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

'Now it's time to visit heaven.'

So, 24 hours pass with Brian joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realises it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity'.

Brian reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell. '

So St. Peter escorts him back to his Hellcab (waiting with the meter running) and he goes down, down, down to hell.

When he arrives, he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and rubbish.  He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more rubbish falls from above. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. 'I don't understand,' stammers the Brian. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a beautiful Town Hall and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of rubbish and my friends look miserable. What happened? '

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, ' Yesterday we were campaigning ...

Today you voted.'

Friday Joke For Secularists and Athiests as approved by Richard Dawkins

While walking down the street one day promanant London Assembly Member, Brian Coleman is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

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Strangely they both sort of work, don't they - Enjoy your weekend, whatever you get up to and mind those trucks