Only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the mid day Sun !
http://www.times-series.co.uk/news/9194537.Hendon_MP__holiday_involves_counterterror_work/
Seem's like the good Captain is on a highly secret undercover mission to sort out the local drugs cartels in Belize, or at leas that's what he's told the press. He's also highly involved in undercover counter terrorism work. I do hope that the Belizian drug barons and terror overlords are not readers of the Hendon Times or his cover will be blown. He's also taken time out to advise the Belizian government on hurricane protection.
Of course, you do realise that I made up the last paragraph, don't you? Just to prove that when it comes to spinning tall stories, we can all do it, if we really want. Of course, you'd think with Captain Useless being an expert in combatting the narcotics industry, Burnt Oak, Graham Park and Hendon would be completely drug free, wouldn't you? I do know one thing though, given the previous record of Captain Useless, I'lll be buying some hurricane shutters and storm lamps ASAP. If he's in charge of hurricane planning in Hendon, what could possibly go wrong?
***************** Late Update ******************
Just got another call from my old mate Dean Burrows. He's rather cross
Why did I think of this as I read of the tropical antics of our very own Souperhero MP - Captain Useless AKA Matthew Offord. You too can read all about his escapades here :-
http://www.times-series.co.uk/news/9194537.Hendon_MP__holiday_involves_counterterror_work/
Seem's like the good Captain is on a highly secret undercover mission to sort out the local drugs cartels in Belize, or at leas that's what he's told the press. He's also highly involved in undercover counter terrorism work. I do hope that the Belizian drug barons and terror overlords are not readers of the Hendon Times or his cover will be blown. He's also taken time out to advise the Belizian government on hurricane protection.
Now it may surprise you to know that the Prime Minister of Belize, Dean Burrows is an old family friend of the Tichborne family. He recently got in touch and said "Hey Rog, it's coming up to the Hurricane Season, being a tropical country, we have no experience of such events. Can you recommend an expert to help us?" I of course replied "Well our local MP, Captain Useless is a souperhero. He can fix anything. Get him over on holiday and he can fix your hurricanes, sort out your terrorism and your narcotics industry". Job done.
Of course, you do realise that I made up the last paragraph, don't you? Just to prove that when it comes to spinning tall stories, we can all do it, if we really want. Of course, you'd think with Captain Useless being an expert in combatting the narcotics industry, Burnt Oak, Graham Park and Hendon would be completely drug free, wouldn't you? I do know one thing though, given the previous record of Captain Useless, I'lll be buying some hurricane shutters and storm lamps ASAP. If he's in charge of hurricane planning in Hendon, what could possibly go wrong?
***************** Late Update ******************
Just got another call from my old mate Dean Burrows. He's rather cross
"Hey Rog, your hurricane expert you sent out here. I asked him what he'd recommend and hey said "Well the celery and tomato soup is pretty good, but my personal favourate is the brie and butter bean with a smidgeon of parmesan!" I replied "I'd stick with the celery and tomato if I were you".
I don't know if any national web site collates the successes and failures of Britain's new MPs. but Captain Crouton must rate as one of the most useless.
ReplyDeleteWhy did he want to become an MP?
What was his specific record while Deputy Leader, under Mike Freer? With Mike and his ice cream van about to take to the streets of Finchley, did Souperman ever consider staying on at the Council, as the big fish in a small pond, or would he have failed to be elected Leader?
Captain Crouton LMAO here..!!
ReplyDeleteApparently,dont call him Manuel he doesn`t much like it he gets very offended.
I`m sure that the drug barons of Central/South America are quakeing in their Gucci`s at the very thought of the Hendon soupremo,captain Crouton being on the case...!!!
My photoshop is going to be on overtime tonight...