Read this if you don't want to die of cancer - Rog T's Cancer blog

Ok, for those of you who are regular readers and have read the previous posts, you can skip this first paragraph. For those of you who aren't, here's a quick summary. I'm 49 years old and I recently had a prostate biopsy following two "slightly high" PSA tests - 2.8 & 4.1. The biopsy took ten tissue samples and one of these showed a "low grade cancer" which gives me a 3+3 on the Gleason scale. I'm now on a program of active monitoring. I've no symptoms and sadly for a few people, if I'm gonna die soon, it won't be from Prostate cancer. Got the picture?

Right, so we're all up to speed. Most of my friends have read the blog. Most have asked "are you ok?". Physically? Yup great, played football twice this week, went to the gym 3 times, feel pretty good. I've no symptoms at all. I'm not tired, I've stopped peeing blood following the biopsy and the plumbing works fine for all requirements. Got the picture. So am I OK? Now I'm not. If I'm being honest (and who would lie to their blog), I'm not F**King ok at all. The problem? Sadly it's all psychological. You see, there really is nothing wrong with me, but every waking hour (apart from when I play music or football or drink copious amounts of beer, or write blogs about whatever I write blogs about) all I think is "oh f**k, I've got cancer". Now I'm as positive a person as you can get, I am not given to depression. I'm also pretty damn strong. So what do you do? Well, I've been working ten times as hard, training ten times as hard, to fill up all that time and take my mind off it. The trouble is that sooner or later, you have to think about it. In all those gaps, when you chill out and relax, the brain starts going at 100 mph thinking "Shit, Shit, Shit". What's worse is the fact it's all completely illogical. I have no symptoms and no medical effects from it.

 It also invades my mind and destroys the most simple pleasures. Every time I see an attractive woman, do I think "she looks nice"? Nope, I think "s**t, I may have to have an operation at some point which will render me impotent, infertile and F**K all use to anyone". Every time I think of sex, it just reminds me that "something is wrong" and that is about as big a turnoff as you can get. Now luckily for me, I'm married and I have a great relationship, but it goes to the very heart of what you are. So I ask myself  "if it's this bad, when there is nothing wrong with me, what would it be like when I actually have symptoms?" Now I'm not looking for sympathy, just trying to explain the thought process I'm going trough, two weeks into this exciting part of life's journey.

The odd thing is, and this is probably down to faith, it isn't the dying that bothers me. I don't really worry about that. It isn't the pain or the illness either. It is just the intangible fact that "there is something wrong". The chances are that I won't develop any symptoms for a long time, maybe never if I'm sensible or lucky, but I haven't got my head around it at all. It's like everything is wrong and nothing is wrong. Their is nothing quite like anxiety to ruin anything. The family reckons that I've been walking around with a complete hump and looking like a kid with a slapped bum half the time. I don't think I have and they are drawing too much into things. I've definitely been overly touchy about silly things. But there is one thing I am. I am angry.

Now anger is a big part of the process of dealing with things. The trouble is that my anger is not completely irrational. It is based on the fact that despite the fact I thought I had a relatively healthy diet and a healthy lifestyle, I find I've been merrily poisoning myself and doing all the most stupid things possible to encourage my prostate to grow a cancer. I wouldn't mind if I'd been a slob and eaten all of the supposed wrong things, but I haven't. I've always been active, playing sport, minding my diet. I now find that there is a whole world of eating habits that I'd acquired that are great for getting prostate cancer, but which I thought were actually making me healthy.

So what are these? Lets take an average days diet for me pre Cancer.


Breakfast
Bowl of muesli with Milk
Cup of tea with Milk
Piece of fresh fruit
---------
 3 cups of tea with milk
Fresh plum
---------
Lunch
Spanish Omelette with bread and butter
Cup of tea with Milk
--------
2 cups of tea with Milk
--------
Spinach Lasagne, with salad an mayonnaise
Cup of tea with Milk
--------
2 glasses of red wine
Salted Cashew nut
--------
1/2 Litre of tap water


So does that sound healthy? Actually there is only one item there that is supposedly part of a good diet for prostate cancer? Guess which bit?

Lets have another look - The red bit is why it is a bad food for prostate cancer


Breakfast

Bowl of muesli with Milk - Dairy products are bad for Prostate cancer

Cup of tea with Milk - Dairy products are bad for Prostate cancer
Piece of fresh fruit - Pesticides are bad for Prostate cancer
---------
 3 cups of tea with milk - Dairy products are bad for Prostate cancer
Fresh plum

---------

Lunch

Spanish Omelette with bread and butter - Dairy products are bad for Prostate cancer
Cup of tea with Milk - Dairy products are bad for Prostate cancer
--------
2 cups of tea with Milk - Dairy products are bad for Prostate cancer
--------
Spinach Lasagne, with salad and mayonaise - Dairy  & eggsproducts are bad for Prostate cancer
Cup of tea with Milk - Dairy products are bad for Prostate cancer
--------
2 glasses of red wine - RED WINE IS GOOD FOR PROSTATE CANCER
Salted Cashew nuts - Processed salts are bad for Prostate cancer
--------
1/2 Litre of tap water - floridated water is bad for Prostate cancer

So guess which aspect of the diet I'd been cutting back on? Ironic really, isn't it. The crazy thing is although I eat meat, I've spent years avoiding it for most meals, treating it as an occasional treat. What did I replace it with? Eggs & cheese sometimes, tuna sandwiches with mayo, Salads with mayo. Great isn't it. 

Then there are the healthy options. I avoid red meat, so what do I have? A nice sandwich made with Marks and Spencers British wafer thin chicken. Did I read the ingredients? Nope, because if I had, I'd have seen this

British Chicken (97%), curing salts, antoxidant: E301 (curing salts contain sodium nitrate). 

So is E301 bad for Prostate cancer? Well all the blogs say "avoid additives". What is E301? Well it's a form of vitamin C and is meant to be beneficial. Sadly, the picture ain't so rosy with Sodium Nitrite.

When I got the diagnosis, the cancer nurse said "avoid dairy products and pomegranite juice is good". So I've done some research and here is my new diet

Breakfast
Bowl of porridge & sultanas (made with water)
Cup of green tea
Piece of fresh fruit (organic)
---------
Glass of pomegrantite juice
Cup of black tea
Fresh plum (organic)
---------
Lunch
Chicken Salad with Tomato, beetroot, peppers & couscos (no mayo)
--------
2 cups of black tea
--------
Grilled fish with watercress, tomato & baked potato (with olive oil & garlic) - lemon dressing
Cup of green tea
--------
2 glasses of red wine
Salted Cashew nut
--------
1/2 Litre of bottled water
==============================

All foods (apart from the nuts - we all need the odd treat) that are good in some way, high in antoxidants or other "good" things. Will it make any difference. I've no idea, but I don't intend doing anything to in any way make my cancer have an easy time. I called this blog "read this if you don't want to die of cancer" not because I know of a cure or even anything particularly useful. I just called it that because I wanted to share the little knowledge I've gleaned with you. That is that if you are trying to eat healthy, then make sure you actually base it on something with a scientific basis. I thought I had, but I've realised that I was an idiot.

Will it work? Only time will tell. As to being a miserable sod? I have no idea how to deal with that whatsoever right now