| Applicant turns up for interview as CEO of Barnet Council. The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee." "Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?" "Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for one tour." The interviewer says, "That's good, we need someone who understands discipline as CEO, Are you disabled in any way?" The applicant says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles." The interviewer then says, "That's great. Our normal hours are from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 am every day, you can finish at 4pm." The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm, why don't you want me here until 10:00 am and why can I leave at 4pm?" "This is a Barnet Council executive job", the interviewer says. "For the first hour, we just stand around drinking coffee and for the last hour we stand around scratching our balls after we've seen the local blogs, not much point you doing any of that." ----------------------------------------------------------------- Disclaimer: Please note that any similarity between the applicant in question and any applicant for the job of CEO in Barnet Council is purely coincidental and this is a joke, intended entirely to provide humour. We are pleased to report that Mr Andrew Travers, the stand in CEO at Barnet Council is not allergic to coffee and to the best of our knowledge, has never served in Iraq and is still lovingly attached to his testicles. |
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How do you know Roger that Travers is still attached to his testicles? Have you seen proof? Is there anything you want to share with us?
ReplyDeleteOne testicle not dropping during puberty is something that happens sometimes. It happened to one of my school mates whose nickname was then "Bollock". Harsh but fair.
Horlicks is a word that is often substituted for bollocks in order not to swear (which I don't often do). Perhaps we could think of someone who doesn't have the bollocks to act most of the time, he finds it too difficult, and refer to him as Horlicks from now on?
Now I am worried that it could be too widely applied.
BC made a right Horlicks of parking in Barnet.
DC is making a right Horlicks out of sorting it out again.
Mr Mustard,
ReplyDeleteYou didn't read the disclaimer. Even the missus laughed at this one