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Monday, 1 April 2013

Barnet Alliance for Public Services announces important changes

Press Release - 1st April 2013

The Barnet Alliance for Public Services (BAPS) today announced important changes to the structure of the organisation. In response to comments that BAPS was stuck in the past and not recognising the huge challenges facing the Borough, in light of budget cuts, the organisation has decided to adopt a new name.

From today it will be known as the Society for Upgrading Barnet Services (SUBS). In a groundbreaking deal with Barnet Council, all opposition to the One Barnet program has been outsourced to SUBS. Councillor Robert Rams, speaking at Friern Barnet Library explained.

"The local Labour party has been completely ineffective in curbing all of the hare brained ideas and opinions spouted by right wing ideologues such as myself. At present hundreds of thousands of pounds have been spent on members allowances for Labour Councillors, who have failed miserably at their job of curbing right wing lunacy. As BAPS (SUBS) has provided the only sane, rational and sensible opposition to the One Barnet madness, and they do it all at no expense to the taxpayer, it makes perfect sense to Outsource all opposition to this third sector organisation".

Mr Julian Silverman, the newly appointed SUBS leader added "For the last four and a half years, BAPS has provided the most effective local protest movement in Barnet. We hope that the new relationship with Barnet Council will lead to a full blown revolution at the Town Hall and the locking in the Bastille of Councillors such as Rams, who have brought misery to thousands".

Speaking on behalf of the local Labour Party, Councillor Alison Moore said "These changes are news to me. The local Labour Party has worked tirelessly to do something about these policies. We have ensured that at least 2 or 3 of our councillors have attended all marches organised by BAPS and we have also been very vocal in the town hall saying that One Barnet was a bit of silly piffle".

For further information on SUBS PLEASE CLICK HERE

Disclaimer (all above quotes were provided by Ms Avril d'un at SUBS - The Barnet Eye is far too lazy to verify them on a bank holiday morning)

********  Disclaimer - Please note for the purposes of clarity, this blog is part of the Barnet Eye April 1st attempt to cheer up the Borough. The statements attributed to the individuals should in no way be taken as anything other than parody and humour. We have no idea whatsoever of the specific view of the individuals mentioned. We must also state that BAPS are quite happy with their current name. We hope all concerned appreciated the humourous nature of this blog *********

2 comments:

Mr Mustard said...

What a scoop Roger; the most sensible words ever written by wee Robbie Rams.

Rog T said...

That wouldn't be difficult