The Friday Joke 11/4/2014

I was walking down the Mill Hill Broadway when I was accosted by a particularly unkempt homeless man who asked me for a couple some coins for a cup of tea.

I took out my wallet, extracted a fiver  and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.

"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on going to football?" I asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't been to a match  in 20 years!"

"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?

I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and football."