Guest Blog - Today is National Dementia Carers day by Laura Stephens

By Laura Stephens, 

There are ‘hidden’ carers across our borough. People who are caring for someone close to them with dementia without any support.

Today is National Dementia Carers’ Day (Sunday 10 September) and we’re calling on carers to share their experiences and asking the public to show their appreciation for these unsung heroes.

One of the regular members of Dementia Cafe I run is James Hale (83), from East Barnet. He cares for his wife, Mollie who was diagnosed with dementia in 2013.

James told me:

“Dementia has changed both our lives. As Mollie’s condition develops, I have to support her more and more with daily tasks.

“From her diagnosis in December 2013, I’ve been her sole carer and found myself doing everything around the house. It involved a lot of multitasking – very difficult for a man!”

“Mollie’s dementia has progressed so much that she can’t stand unassisted now. She struggles with speech too. But even in the depths of her dementia, I still see glimpses of her keen mind shine through.

“It’s fantastic to have a resource like Barnet Dementia Hub nearby. Laura and her team offer support services across the borough for people like me and Mollie. It’s been invaluable to us.

“I love going to the Dementia Café.  Of course, it was much better when Mollie could come too and share in the fun.

“Mollie was moved to a care home in June. I worry about her, every minute of every day.

“Even though she can’t attend the service anymore, I still go. I get to talk with people going through what I am. We do lots of different activities together and it’s nice to have some time just for me.

“Six days after Mollie went into a home, I wrote a poem for her. This National Dementia Carers Day, I hope someone is reading it…”

WISH I COULD SNATCH THAT MONSTER AWAY
by JAMES HALE 

I WISH I COULD SNATCH THAT MONSTER AWAY  
IT SEEMS TO SPOIL ALMOST EVERY DAY
THAT MONSTER ALZHEIMER'S IS TO BLAME
IT LURKS WITHIN MY DEAR WIFE'S BRAIN
OH HOW I YEARN FOR THOSE YEARS GONE BY
WHEN I COULD LAUGH AND NEVER CRY

I FEEL GUILTY NOW OF WHAT I HAVE DONE
TO THE GIRL I MARRIED WHO GAVE ME FUN
DEMENTIA MADE ME THROW IN THE TOWEL
SHE IS  SAFE WITHIN A CARE HOME NOW
I LOVE HER DEARLY BUT SHE DOESN'T KNOW
MY HEART SINKS WHEN I LEAVE HER AND GO

MOBILITY REGRESSION NOW COMES INTO PLAY
IT S A CRUSHING REALITY I SEE EVERY DAY
OUR HAPPY LIFE IS A THING OF THE PAST
MOLLIES MENTAL REGRESSION IS OH SO FAST
TOO LATE FOR MY DEAR WIFE NOW, BUT PRAY
A CURE FOR DEMENTIA WILL BE FOUND ONE DAY.

OH, HOW I WISH I COULD SNATCH THAT MONSTER AWAY!!

If you’ve been diagnosed with dementia, or you’re caring for someone who has, please get in touch to discuss how the team at Barnet Dementia Hub can support you.

Call: 020 3725 3001

Email: barnet@alzheimers.org.uk

Visit: Barnet Dementia Hub, 1-5 Brampton Grove, Hendon, NW4 4AE

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Guest blogger: Laura Stephens, Group coordinator at the Alzheimer’s Society Barnet Dementia Hub - Guest blogs are always welcome at The Barnet Ey