The Friday Joke - My Aunty Mabel

Aunty Mabel

I went round for a cup of tea with my Aunty Mabel recently. She told me of this amazing young priest, Father Maguire who has recently arrived at The Church of the Holy Ghost. Apparently he is an extremely handsome young chap, an amazing preacher who is extremely kind and caring with the ever growing army of elderly widows, who fill the bulging pews for Sunday Mass. She told me an amazing tale of just how inspirational he was and how he had restored her faith in the power of the Lord. 

She explained how at Last Sundays Mass he'd told the packed congregation "Trust in the Lord! He will keep you safe in the darkest hour. When Satan confronts you, make sure you know your scriptures, that is your weapon! Satan cannot withstand the word of the Lord" 
Fired up with Evangelical zeal she returned home from mass and as she was making herself a cup of tea she realised that there was an intruder upstairs in her bedroom. Recalling Father Maguire's words, she yelled yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38!" 
(For those of you not up on scripture readings, the verse says "Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.") 

The burglar stopped in his tracks.  Mabel, surprising even herself, then calmly called the police and explained what she had done. When the Police arrived, the officer cuffed the terrified burglar to take him in and asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? She's only and old Lady who had returned from Mass?" The Burglar replied  "I wasn't going to argue with that crazy Lady, she said she had an axe and two 38's!".

I suspect that as the word spreads, Father Maguire's pews will bulge even more!

Have a great weekend