The Friday Joke 16th December 2022 - A nice cup of tea

 

We all love a good Friday joke. This one is actually a true story. Anyone familar with the history of The False Dots (my band) will know of one Peter Trayling, AKA Captain Ubungus. It is no lie to say that his personal habits were to a different standard to the rest of us. You could generally tell if Pete had a girlfriend as dishes would be done and clothes would be changed (occasionally). Pete simply didn't believe in doing more than the barest minumum. A cup of tea at his house invariably involved a mug that had simply had a splash of boiling water run around the inside just before the new cuppa was procured. However Pete was rather entertaining and so we put up with his ways. He was also a great songwriting partner, what he lacked in technical ability he added in creativity. He never, ever played the same thing twice, which could be a bit frustration in a gigging environment, but was great for writing songs as it stirred the creative juices. 

So I would often find myself in his flat, with my guitar and writing songs over a cup of tea. I'd usually wash my own cup out, which much amused him as he'd say "a quick rinse with boiling water kills all of the germs". So imagine my surprise to find as I settled down two gleaming cups with tea bags awaiting me when I arrived for our jam session. The water was added and a perfectly lovely cup of tea was provided. After I finished, I complemented Pete on his new found household prowess. He chuckled and said "A bloke down the pub told me the best way to clean cups is to pee in them as you go to bed and leave them overnight. The acid in the urine dissolves the scale on the cup and they come out gleaming, no effort at all". 

After that I'd bring a beer to sessions. 

BTW you can get special edition False Dots Burnt Oak Boogie mugs in store at Mill Hill Music Complex in Bunns Lane for only £7.99 and we promise Pete hasn't cleaned them for us.