The Saturday List #416 - My top ten moments from False Dots gigs since 1979

 Last night, The False Dots played to a packed and raptuous audience at the Dublin Castle. It may possibly have been the best ever False Dots gig, certainly up there with our 2010 gig at The Purple Turtle in Camden with the amazing Sudanese singer Connie Abbe on vocals and our 1984 Dingwalls show with Venessa Sagoe on vocals. It may even have been as good as our 1982 gig in Aland, Finland at Pub Bastun, where there were drunken Fins dancing on tables. It got me thinking about my top ten memories of gigs with The False Dots. Most of these were not really musical moments, but they live long in my mind.

1. 18th July 1981. Harwood Hall, Mill Hill. A disaster all round. The PA guy let us down, there was a plague of aggressive and unfriendly skinheads, intent on trouble and a pervading air of violence. During one of our numbers, one of the skinheads walked up to me and spat in my face. I unstrapped my guitar, a Hofner Galaxy and belted him around the head, knocking him out. I then strapped the guitar back on and continued the song. Our bassplayer Paul Hircombe asked me afterwards if he'd imagined it, as I just carried on as if nothing happened. At the end of the show, I was waiting for my Dad to come to collect the gear, it was piled on the pavement and the skinhead returned with five mates, intent on revenge. I stood my ground and as they approached, I picked up a bottle of beer I'd been drinking. I was determined to not go down without a fight. At that moment, my Dad appeared with a crowbar, behind them. He was a fearsome ex RAF Aussie. He scared the living daylights out of them and they all ran away. My Dad was most complimentary about my nerve. I don't advocate such behaviour, but it was a moment I'll always remember. Ironically, some of those skinheads went on to become our biggest fans. My Dad said that sheep need a sheepdog to keep them in order.

2. 26th September 1981, Kenton Jewish Youth club. Our drummer, Mark Barnett was a member and got us a well paid gig. Until that point, the gigs had been pubs and church halls. We turned up and were amazed to see neat rows of chairs, a proper PA system and decent lights with a great light man (who allegedly had been poached from the Bandwagon for big bucks). It is probably the only time we played to a seated audience. We felt like Pink Floyd!

3. 16th Jan 1982, Pub Bastun, Aland, Finland. Aland is an Island in the Baltic sea. It is duty free, so is a real party haven in a highly taxed Sacandinavian see of anti alcohol policies. We played 3 sets and by the end, the fans were swinging off the chandaliers and dancing on tables. As we really had to scratch around to get enough numbers, we did a cover of Space Cowboy by The Steve Miller Band. At the end Mark Barnett did a drum solo. The lighting guy put on a strobe, Mark was playing the drums like gonzo from the Muppets, banging everything as fast as possible, but the strobe made it look in slow motion.

4.  27th August 1982, Bell Motor Cycle Rally, Elstree. We did this as a three piece, Myself on Bass, Craig Withecombe on vocals and guitar and Bill Lucas on Drums. It was mostly rock covers. Criag was a great guitarist and enjoyed the chance to do lots of solos. One of the numbers we did was Sweet Jane, by The Velvet Underground. As we started to play this, a huge Hells Angel at the back made eye contact with me. As the number reached its end he started to march towards me, a massive joint in his mouth. I was terrified. He was not someone to mess with. As we hit the last note, he was standing right in front of me, glaring. I thought he was going to kill me. He then took the huge joint from his mouth and put it in mine, saying "Well done son, that's my favourite song ever". He then marched to the back. After the show, I went for a chat with him. He was a nice bloke and really knowledgeable. I can never forget that.

5. 28th Jan 1983, Gooners club at The Copper, Tower Bridge. We had a little residency here. The last show we did there, we got our Roadie, Dermot Fanning up to do a number called The Dukes of Hazard Rap. It was a mash up of country and western music, with a rap over the top. Derm was a very good looking and charismatic guy and the place went mental. It really put the nose of our regular singer, Eleanor Caine out of joint, who said she'd leave if Derm did it again. In Hindsight, I wish she had and we'd got Derm in full time!

6. 28th Feb 1984, Dingwalls. This was the moment we thought we'd cracked it. We had worked really hard on the material and I thought we were amazing. Venessa Sagoe was a brilliant singer. The venue was packed and we did a 30 minute set. As we did the last number, there was an enormous cheer from the whole audience. It was the high point of the 1980's for the Dots.

7. 15th Jan 2010, The Purple Turtle, Camden Town. Until Connie Abbe joined the band in 2009, I'd sort of given up on the idea of doing big venues. We were happy doing the odd local gig for charity. Then Connie joined and all of a sudden, the False Dots became a red hot band. We played at The Purple Turtle, supporting the legendary Bollock Brothers, feat Jock McDonald. We blew the place away. I realised just how much I loved being on a big stage at an established venue. It was the best feeling since Dingwalls in 1984. When you have a band that is really kicking, there is no feeling like it.

8.13 December 2012, Friern Barnet Library. Connie left the band, I was feeling quite down. Our long time bass player, Paul Hircombe had died of cancer and I couldn't bear playing songs that reminded me of him. I was very involved in the Save Friern Barnet Library campaign. When the campaign won, I was asked to play a few numbers. I rang up well known author, Allen Ashley, who had been our singer in 1985 and asked if he fancied doing it. Allen was in the band when Paul was taking a sabbatical, so it was not songs I associated with him, which made it easier.  He said yes, I got on to Graham Ramsey, our drummer from that era and Fil Ross stepped up on bass. In truth, we were not great, under rehearsed, and ring rusty, but it was a lovely night. What was really special was that my cousin Tessie, who is my age and lived with Downs syndrome came down and danced all night. Tessie was developing dementia and passed with covid in 2021. It is one of my best memories of her. 

9. 6th November 2015, Fiddlers Elbow, Camden Town. Allen stayed and we started to develop a great new set of music. In 2015, I started the Save London Music campaign, to protect grassroots venues. The campaign got featured on the Robert Elms show on BBC Radio London. We had a launch party in The Fiddlers Elbow, Camden Town. It was a blast. I felt the band was back where it should be. 

10. The Dublin Castle, 15th September 2023. First gig since cancer surgery on 9th August. I feel I've put it behind me, joyous to see so many friends. The place was absolutely rocking. The compliments after were joyous. Allen left the band during lockdown, last night was the first night with Tom Hammond on Trumpet. He is an amazing addition to the band. 

We have three gigs lined up. We are supporting the Silencerz at the Bull Arts centre in Finchley on 28th October, Doing the Madchat meet Sat 4th November (noon start) at The Dublin Castle and back at the Dublin Castle for an Xmas special on Saturday 23rd December.

This is what we sound like these days.