The Suella Braverman lifestyle test

Suella Braverman is the home secretary. She recently stated that people are homeless as a lifestyle choice. I decided that as she clearly has an insight into homelessness that a poor, thick idiot like me lacks, I needed to try and work out what she knew that I don't. I have festered on this for a few days. Maybe what we all need is a  little test of lifestyle choices to assist us in our understanding of what our home secretary said, let me give some background. 

What have myself, Samantha Cameron and George Michael all got in common? We all volunteered at The Passage, a homeless day centre near Victoria. Sadly, I didn't have the pleasure of working with George, although deputy head chef Noor told me he was wonderful, really useful in the kitchen. George had been raised in the family restaurant business and was a dab hand at peeling spuds. He also did it with a smile on his face. As for Sam Cam, she got on with it and made herself useful. I was offered money by a Daily Mail journalist to dish a bit of dirt on her, as were a few other volunteers. It seemed beyond the wit of such an individual to understand that anyone who vounteers to help homeless people is most unlikely to want a few grubby tenners to dish the dirt on someone trying to make some sort of difference. But I will give a small insight for free. Sam Cam did it because she recognised that homeless people are people. They are going through a very hard time and any vaguely decent person, regardless of their politics, deserves the help and compassion of people who are able to. 

I volunteered for a good number of years. I did a breakfast shift on a Thursday. I'd arrive at 7am, help serve breakfast and leave between 9.30 and 10am for my office. I got to know many of the clients rather well. I was embarrassed when they'd bring me Xmas presents (usually books etc from charity shops) and thank me for my kindness. On cold wet November days, like today. They'd come in looking tired and bedraggled. It would be quiet, as they ate breakfast and warmed up. The Passage provided food, showers and access to cheap clothing. Everything, apart from tea, coffee and left over sarnies provided by the likes of M&S and Pret had to be paid for,  items such as sausages were a nominal 5p. The cash charge was to emphasise that it was not a hand out. For those who genuinely had no money, a free breakfast voucher was given that gave a full cooked breakfast, after an assessment. For some, they could only manage a tea and bowl of porridge, due to the damage caused by alcohol on the stomach. Clients were not admitted if visibly high or drunk, as they could be a risk. Drugs and alcohol were banned from the premises, although clients were not searched. 

Occasionally, we'd have a medical emergency, sometimes we'd hear the most terrible stories of abuse. All clients were offered support, the breakfast was a bait to lure them in so help could be offered. I was delighted to, on occasion, bump into former clients who'd got their lives together, sometimes years after. They would recognise me and come up and offer thanks. Invariably, they looked ten years younger once they were off the street, sometimes they were hard to recognise. 

The clients fell into four main categories. There were ex squaddies, who civilian life simply didn't work for, after a life in the military. They would be organised, clean but many had PTSD, other mental health challenges and often drug and alcohol issues, brought on by the need to block out dark memories. Then there were people who's lives had collapsed. They'd been married, in jobs, but it had all gone wrong and they had descended into a life on the streets. Many of these, with a bit of help, got themselves together. We'd try and get them accomodation, jobs etc. This was where most of our 'successes' were. The third group were migrant workers, who had been working and a contract finished and they'd simply run out of money. Many of these were drinking, but were basically sound individuals, who simply had no cash. Westminster Council had a policy of giving them a ticket home if they wanted one. Often this was the solution. Some just found work and disappeared. And finally. There were people who had something terrible in their life. They had mental health issues, PTSD, drink and drug problems. What was heartbreaking was that some were lovely, but simply unable to cope with anything. We did sometimes succeed in reaching them, getting them into safe accomodation etc. But often they'd reappear months or years later and it would start again. I never met a single soul who told me "It's great, I love this, it's the life for me".

So anyway, I thought I'd set you a little test, based on the stories I was told. Tick your favourite option.

1. When you are asleep at night, what do you most like to be woken up by

a) Being sexually assaulted/raped

b) Being set on fire

c) Being urinated on

d)  Being physically assaulted

e) None of the above

2.  When it is raining, windy and cold, where would you most like to sleep?

a) In a doorway on the high st

b) In a subway

c) In a derelict property

d) In a police cell

e) None of the above

3. When you wake up in the morning and are hungry, with no money, what would you most like to do

a) Beg for the price of a cup of tea in a cafe, until you've raised enough

b) Go to a homeless day centre, register as a client and persuade them to give you a breakfast

c) Steal a sandwich and a drink from the supermarket

d) Persuade a generous street food vendor to take pity on you and give you bite to eat

e) None of the above

4. It's chucking it down with rain. You are hungry and its 8pm at night. You are in your tent, that is a cold but dry, but you have no money, what would you most like to do.

a) Sit in your tent, be hungry and try and stay warm

b) Try and persuade the person in the tent next to you to give you can of their extra strong cider

c) Go out in the rain, get wet and try and find some food

d) Go to Vauxhall Bridge and throw yourself in the Thames, because you've had enough

e) None of the above

5. You are awoken by the sound of a bunch of drunk/high guys in suits urinating on your tent. What would you do?

a) Open the tent and verbally remonstrate with them, and expose yourself to a beating,

b) Sit in your tent in the knowledge that they will go away when they are bored

c) Say a few prayers to St Jude patron St of hopeless cases, that some kind soul may see what they are doing and take pity on you and give you some cash

d) Pull out your knife, stab a few of them, in the knowledge that the police will come, arrest you and at least you might have a warm room, decent food and some help for a while, and the Judge is likely to be vaguely understanding of what you did.

e) None of the above.

If you answered anything other than E to all of these questions, then a life on the streets, in a tent is for you. If you answered E, then hopefully, you'll realise just what a cruel, heartless and ignorant home secretary we have. Every single answer above, is based on a conversation I had with someone at some point in my years at the passage. You'd say "How are you getting on?". They'd say "I had an awful night, you'll never believe what happened" and tell me a story. Answer 4d, clearly the person didn't jump. They were spotted by a kindly soul who bought them some food in a cafe. Answer 5D, I spoke to one client who did just this. I believe they were drunk or high at the time. The guys urinating worked for a top merchant bank. The bloke who was stabbed was not hurt badly thankfully. The magistrate took the view that the assault was justified and the poor sod was released back onto the street with a telling off. A couple of months in the cells, a bit of help getting off drink/drugs and some support was what he needed but sadly, all he got was a breakfast at The Passage. 

This morning Ms Braverman had a go at the head of the Metropolitan Police about not banning the Palestinian protests at the weekend. It is her and her governments job to make the laws that the Met enforce. After 13 years of Tory government, for many on our streets, it is the only choice. Her and her party have comprehensively failed, but all she can do is blame everyone else. The Police, the victims of her policies,  anyone but her own government. 

I had always said I'd never speak about Samantha Cameron and her work at the Passage, but I have to say, she was a decent person who was a Conservative, but had compassion and was decent. I tended to try and avoid her. I was not a fan or her husbands politics, but she was trying to make a difference and I felt she deserved to be left to get on with it. If I saw her I'd smile and say hello and get on with dishing up the sausages. I'd love to hear her take on what Braverman had to say. As for George Michael, I am pretty sure I'd know exactly what he'd say. 

And why did I stop? Well in 2016 I had treatment for Cancer and by the time I felt up to doing it again, I was no longer working in town. Volunteering at The Passage was one of the best things I did with my life. The people I met enriched my life, both volunteers and clients. They all made me a better person. I can think of a few people, who could benefit. It took me six months to really realise and get the trust of the clients. Once they decide you are 'alright' and build trust, you start to really understand the issues they had. One of the criticisms I had was that many organisations would send teams of vounteers for 'activity days'. You will learn nothing doing one shift.

Please note that I am speaking for no one but myself and I no longer volunteer (although I may well in future).