The biggest mistake you can make in your life

Contemplating Life

There are two major things that shape our lives. The choices we make and the events that we don't control. Twice in the last two days, I've seen examples of people making extremely bad choices, which could have changed their lives forever for the worse. One of them could also have changed mine. Yesterday, I was about to cross the road on the pelican crossing at the bottom of my road, which crosses Mill Hill Broadway. I pressed the button (why do people stand there and not press the button and hope it will change?). The light changed and I was just about to step out into the road, when I noticed a woman driving a blue BMW hurtling towards me, totally ignoring the light. I stopped and she sped straight through. Having been run over and nearly killed in Burnt Oak, when someone did exactly the same thing, I am cautious. But she wasn't cautious. She was driving like an idiot and she could have killed someone. It seems to me to be the height of stupidity to risk killing someone and a jail term as a result, to get somewhere 20 seconds quicker. Why? The thought crossed my mind that if I'd not spotted her or wasn't paying attention, I may be dead. 

Today I saw the complete other end of the spectrum at the very same spot. As I walk down my road, I can see the same pelican crossing. As I approached, a woman pressed the button and the lights changed. I was paying attention, as I thought I may be able to get across, but I was a tad to far and couldn't be bothered to run. What she did next really shocked me. Rather than cross, she looked at her mobile phone and stopped. I have no idea what was so exciting that she just stopped in her tracks and gawped. What she did next stunned me even more than the events yesterday. The lights changed again and were flashing yellow. She then walked out in front of the cars that had been stopped and were starting to pull off, causing them to brake. She was clearly completely distracted. Although the cars were not moving quickly, it was stupid and reckless. A lady standing next to me, looked at me and shook her head. It occurred to me that if you put the two events together, where both a motorist and a pedestrian are not paying attention and are also clearly distracted then they both could have made the worst decision in their lives, presumably without consciously realising it at the time. 

At the time I was run over, I was regularly doing a Yoga class in Mill Hill, with an amazing Yoga teacher called Joyce. It took me three months to get to a position where I could consider Yoga. When I went back, she enquired after my health and asked about my absence. I explained how a speeding driver, jumping the lights had run me over. Her response rather irritated me at the time, now I understand it. She said "You've really got to be more conscious of what is going on around you". What annoyed me was that it wasn't my fault and even the bloke who did it admitted that. But Joyce was right. If I'd had my eyes and ears open, I would have realised. You can be 100% in the right, but it won't make you feel any better when a car splatters you. 

About fifteen years ago, on Mill Hill Broadway, at the very same spot as the two incidents mentioned above happened, I was about to cross the road, with the lights being red. I'd just got off the train and there were several other people. Being cautious, I noticed that a car was speeding towards us and the person driving was looking at their phone and also hadn't noticed. As I realised that it wasn't safe to cross, a lady next to me saw the green man and without looking stepped onto the road. I realised that she was going to get run over, so I physically pulled her back and said "look out", she screamed and was just about to harangue me, when the car sped past and she realised she'd have been hit, if I hadn't grabbed her. I apologised profusely, and said "Sorry I had to do that, I realised you'd get hit". She was quite badly shaken up. She thanked me and explained that she'd "had a terrible day at work". We then both went on our way. It was at that moment that I realised what Joyce was saying and properly appreciated it.

The biggest mistake we can make in our lives is to not be conscious and pay attention and not just at road crossings. That was just an illustration. Yesterday, my band launched our debut album, only 45 years in the making. We had an afternoon gig at The Dublin Castle in Camden Town. It was amazing seeing so many of my friends out. to see us. As I was about to start singing one of the songs, Joyce's words "You've really got to be more conscious of what's going on around you" popped into my head. IT was so jarring that it put me off the lyrics and I completely garbled the words to the first verse of The Burnt Oak Boogie. But a more important thing happened than just singing a song correctly. I looked on and appreciated what was happening. No one forced those people to come. They came because they knew they'd have a good time, maybe meet some friends, maybe make sone new ones. I have no idea how many were there, it was a good crowd. The following comment was posted on the bands Facebook today "It really was fantastic! To anyone who missed it make sure you go to the next False Dots gig, it'll definitely cheer you up no end 😁".  

I sometimes wonder how many things in our life we really can consciously change. One thing I do know for certain is that if I am feeling down, I can consciously change my mood by listening to music. It washes away, not forever, but for a few moments the worries, concerns and distractions of our day to day lives. For those few seconds when Joyce's words echo'd around my mind, I realised that I am blessed. I make time to let music in and to chill out. I don't want to be that person who is so stressed and so in a rush that they miss seeing a red light, or so distracted that we step out when the lights have changed. I tend to relax by watching football and listening to music. It may not work for you, but something must. Don't neglect that. Give yourself time to unwind. If you've had a bad day, do something about it before you walk under a speeding car, because you are too lost in your thoughts to see it heading for you. If ever I had a really bad day in the office. I'd go to a quiet pub, have a single pint, eat a bag of nuts and read the Evening Standard before I headed home. I'd also put a couple of tunes on the Jukebox. Such things are simple but they can really make a difference.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

The False Dots launched our new album yesterday, entitled "A finger in the Sun". Please click here and have a listen to it, if you enjoy what I write. I don't ask for much, but I'd love you to have a listen and tell your friends if you like it >>>>> CLICK HERE <<<<<