Rock and Roll Stories #26 - What do Rock stars eat for breakfast?

 I was having a bit of a laugh with a few of my studio customers recently. A well known band, who I won't name nipped in for a mid tour, last minute rehearsal. They had a few days off and wanted to sort a few things out in the set, as they'd not been happy with a couple of songs on the first week of the tour. This happens occasionally. You rehearse the set and then for some reason, a couple of songs just don't seem to work in the context of the set. That's not what this blog is about though. It was the fact that a band turned up, the night after a gig, for a rehearsal at 11am (actually they were earlier). Not only that, they looked bright eyed and bushy tailed. One of them came in and looked at our extensive display of crisps, pot noodles and choclate bars and laughed. They said "Don't you have anything healthy for breakfast, I'm starving!". I explained that these days most bands get a deliveroo (other services are available). As they mulled over whether to have granola and fresh orange juice, or a bagel and a capuccino, I laughed and said "What is Rock and Roll coming too, when did we all stop having a bottle of JD for breeakfast".  We had a snigger. They told me about the catering for the tour. One of the band is lactose intolerant, another is gluten free, two are non drinkers and one is a vegan. 

Anyone who has ever toured, knows how important the food aspect is. The legendary riders bands like Motorhead would ask for at gigs are legendary, but are the exception rather than the rule.

On my own journey, I do recall the days we started gigging. Our first few gigs were self organised. The first False Dots gig where we got a rider was The Midland Arms, in 1982. We got a free bar tab. It was wonderful. We didn't abuse it and it was great to feel appreciated. Later in the year, we played at The Kenton Jewish Youth club. When we arrived, a nice lady asked us what food we wanted. I asked what was on offer and she said "Anything you like, so long as it's Kosher". Mark, our drummer, who was Jewish opted for Chicken and chips. Craig and Paul followed suit. I asked if she had any smoked salmon, and ended up with a couple of smoked salmon and cream cheese bagels and chips. It was delicious. When we finished, the same lady made me a salt beef bagel to keep me going. I learned at school to get in with the dinner ladies, and it has always paid off. I told her "That was delicious, do you run a restaurant", she replied "Oh no, I just have five hungry sons!". I said Five kid, you don't look old enough, they are lucky to have a mum who is such a good cook". When we played there a month later, she gave me a bag of home made treats to take home, which were delicious. I'd adivse all up and coming bands to remember this. It is the best life lesson. 

My mate Bob The Scouser is a Michelin starred chef and was poached from the restaurant he worked at to do film catering. He ended up catering for Bond movies when Pierce Brosnan was James Bond. He told me how Brosnan always made time for him and would chat to him. Bob used to insist on the finest bacon and sausages, Brosnan was so impressed that he got Bob to source a supply of them for his personal use. The nature of film shoots meant that Bob would get ten minutes notice and have to make 100 bacon sandwiches, when a take had been completed. He explained that real secret of being a successful set chef was to make sure that the Superstar never missed his bacon roll because the cameraman had six of them. I asked how did you manage that. Bob explained that it was simple, you didn't rest until the star had eaten and was happy. He also made sure he had the right condements. 

I knew another chef who did catering for bands and film. He said that bands were far easier, as the timings were easier and more predictable. It only went wrong when management hadn't done their homework. He did catering for one US soul Diva. She had very particular requirements and would send food back if the potatoes weren't cut symmetrically or there was any fat on the meat. One day, he was preparing the pre show buffet and she just turned up in the kitchen, unannounced. This lady, who was a notoriously difficult diva said "Do you mind if I make myself a sandwich?". He replied "I'll do that if you want, that's what you pay me for". She replied "It's OK, Really want to make my own". As she was the boss, he said OK but was rather worried. What would the catering manager say, if he found out. She went and helped herself, She made a huge sandwich, then asked him if he wanted one and proceeded to make him one. They then proceded to sit in the kitchen and scoff them and have a chat. The catering manager came in and froze. She explained that she really liked making her own sandwiches, as it was hard to explain what she really wanted. The next day, he sent one up for her, exactly as she'd made it and she took the time to come down and thank him. After that, nothing was sent back and he got a bonus. The catering manager told my friend that he was horrified when he'd seen her in the kitchen, but it had completely changed the whole vibe of the tour for the catering crew. 

It was an old joke,  what do Rock Stars eat for breakfast? They don't, because they don't get up til lunchtime, may have been true for 1970's rock bands. These days, many will be in the gym or eating granola bars and drinking orange juice at the crack of dawn. Times change!

London Symphonies - A historic pub crawl around the old London docks

London Symphonies? What interests me is the way the ghosts of lost London continue to haunt us today, how the echoes of the past are all around us and most of the time we don't notice. Let me give an example,  you agree to meet friends in a random pub in town. You arrive early and find that it has a fascinating history, that you were totally unaware of. London is full of such pubs. Most of the patrons barely give this fascinating history a second glance, but when you do, you might just find it was well worth the while. That is the heart of what this series is about. 

Which brings us to yesterday, Sunday the 9th March 2025. Earlier in the week, I'd checked the weather forecast, and it was for a lovely sunny day. This meant that it was thumbs up for my latest excursion into London for a London Symphony. This is one that I've been planning for a very long time. It would commbine several of my favourite things. A trip into London, a chance to visit some wonderful pubs and drink some excellent beer, a nice walk and good lunch. Best of all though, it was a chance to write another chapter of my London Symphonies project. A little background. Between 1993 and 2010, I worked around the Leman St/St Katherines Dock area of London. I got very familiar with many of the pubs in the locality. Several firm favourites backed onto the River Thames. I've sat with friends in these pubs, always meaning to spend some time learning the stories behind them, but always far too busy chatting about beer, music and football to get around to it. I've always meant to, but never made the time. This Sunday was the opportunity to put this right. 

I did  bit of research and decided that we'd start at a pub I'd not visited, it was just a bit too far for a lunchtime evening pint, but I was well aware of it and have long intended to go. This is The Mayflower, a lovely pub near Rotherhithe station. When I informed Clare of the plan, to visit four pubs, have a nice walk along the Thames and end with Sunday lunch, she suggested we ask a few friends. This was a great idea, as having other people on such trips gives a different perspective and I see things I'd have missed. So we gathered at The Mayflower and started with a couple of pints. The pub is georgeous. The beer is good, the food looked excellent and it has a real 'lost London' feel. There is all manner of photographs, paintings and models. The pub was renamed "The Mayflower" in 1957, to celebrate links with the Mayflower that took the first settlers to the USA. The pub claims to be the oldest Riverside pub in London, dating back to 1550. Apparently some of the timbers are the same ones used in the Mayflower, which was moored nearby. The pub had previously been called The Spreadeagle. One of our party Gary, suggested that this may have been because it was a house of ill repute. As the docks were full of frustrated sailors, on shore with money and time on their hands, this wouldn't surprise me, but I couldn't really find any evidence to back this up. If you are interested in the journey of The Mayflower, it is a great place to visit. The Mayflower is most definitely a pub worth visiting. 

When all of our party had assembled and were full refreshed, we made our way along the river path towards Tower Bridge. On a nice day, this is fascinating. One of the nicest spots on the south bank river path is "Dr Salters Daydream". A small area, dedicated to Dr Salter, a well loved Labour politician, responsible for many local improvements. Dr Salter lost his daughter to Scarlet fever when she was a child. The park has figures of Dr Salter, his wife, daughter and cat, a blissful daydream of better times, placed in his honour. The park has a wonderful view of the river Thames. There are all manner of wonderful spots along the River Thames, each with there own unique story. I was unaware of the story of Dr Salter, but this certainly has to be one of my favourite spots by the river. 

I am a big fan of public art and this is one of the finest examples. It is heartwarming to find that there are politicians who inspire such fondness from local people.

We carried on down, crossing the Thames via Tower Bridge. The bridge is perhaps the most iconic bridge in the world. I always get a buzz when I cross the river, especially over Tower Bridge. I've always thought it a shame that modern architects do not seem interested in endowing things of beauty for generations to come. On the Thames path walk, there is one amazing view of Tower Bridge that is completely ruined by the monstrosity that is 'the cheesegrater'. I am not anti modern architecture, I love The Shard, which is elegant and I watche being built from my office in Park St.

It's just the cheesegrater is ugly and looks like it steals sky. This is one of the views where the monstrosity is masked by Tower Bridge, if you look in the full gallery below, you'll see one where this is not the case. I ask all London planners to be more considerate with their approvals and please, please don't ruin our river!

On the North bank of the The Thames, we made our way to The Town of Ramsgate. In the days when I worked in this part of town, this was our go to riverside pub. The garden is a real suntrap and we had many long, boozy lunches. I'd never actually wondered why it was called The Town of Ramsgate before. This association came about because Ramsgate fishermen chose to unload their catches here, rather than at Billingsgate to avoid taxes. Doubtless, they'd have a few beers as well before heading back. Allegedly, there has been a pub on the site since 1460. The river was the main trade route into London and there was always plenty of sailors, fisherman and travellers looking for refreshment. At the turn of the last century, there were 20 pubs on Wapping High Street. The Town of Ramsgate is the last of these to survive. It's not a massive pub, a bit of a gem that locals appreciate though. The pub is next to Olivers Wharf. Valerie, one of our party, who is a building surveyor by trade, asked if we knew what Wharf meant. I had no idea. It is an acronym Warehouse at River Front. Olivers were the company that operated it. These old riverfront warehouses have been converted into flats and offices. When I first worked near Wapping, the area was run down. I wish I'd bought some property as these flats no go for millions!

Next on our journey was the Captain Kidd pub. As I mentioned, the Warehouses had been repurposed. The Captain Kidd was transformed into a pub in the 1980's. It had previously been a coffee warehouse. It is a nice enough pub. Sadly, the weekend had been so nice, that nearly all the beer had been drunk, so I had to make do with a Sam Smiths lager. The name recalls William Kidd, a Thames Pirate, executed at Execution Dock in 1701. When we think of Pirates, we think of far flung, exotic places. It may seem strange to us to think the Thames was a lucrative hunting ground for such men. Although not a historic pub, it has a wonderful beer garden overlooking the Thames. One of the oddities of this pub is that the way the front has been dressed, I thought it had closed down until I was standing outside. I wonder if I am the only one to think this?

And on to our final destination and lunch. This was at The Prospect of Whitby pub.This

is by the spot where Captain Kidd was executed. There has been a pub on the site since around 1520. It was rebuilt following a fire in the early 19th century. As with all the aforementioned pubs, it has a grand view of the river. The pub name comes from a coal freighter that used to moor next to the pub to unload. Previously it had been known as The Devils Tavern, as it was a meeting place for smugglers and cutthroats. 

Nowadays all of these pubs are pleasant locations to take a drink, eat a meal and watch the world go by with the river Thames as your backdrop. The Thames is no longer the main transport artery into and out of London. Apart from the odd barge carrying rubbish, the vast majority of Thames River traffic is leisure and pleasure boats. A hundred years ago, this was the bustling heart of London. Now? It's a nice walk on a sunny Sunday afternoon. One thing I've learned about London is that it is constantly changing. I daresay if you'd told Captain Kidd that the Devils Tavern would end up being a place where Londoners nipped down for a nice lunch on a Sunny Sunday, he'd think you mad. Such is the glory of London

Google Map of the walk

The full photo gallery.

Rog T's Food Blog #7 - Crisps, calories and conning the public

 Ok so time for a rant. I love crisps. This dates back to when I was a kid. Crisps were the go to treat if you were hungry. Back in the day, Smiths were the big crisps company. The popular flavours were cheese and onion and salt and vinegar. Every so often they'd launch new varieties. I wasn't keen on roast chicken, to me, these tasted of snot. There was much excitement when tomato ketchup crisps came out. Even better when prawn cocktail crisps were  launched. Some I liked, but I was in the minority, such as Worcester sauce flavour. Some I didn't get, such as the crisps with the salt in the blue bag. Seemed a bit pointless to me. I can recall going down with my pals from next door, Ricky and Luke, and buying a bag of crisps each, different flavours, so we could share and no one miss out. As I think you can guess, I used to be really fond of crisps. 

As I grew up, my love affair waned. Smiths crisps disappeared  and Walkers took over (and needlessly mucked up the colour coding of crisps bags). For some strange reason, I never really took to these. I few years ago, I was chatting to a barman in a hostelry and we got onto the subject of crisps. I said I no longer really enjoyed them. He said "Try some of these" and handed me a bag of Burts Salt and Vinegar crisps, he said "If you don't like them you can have them for free". They were delicious. He explained that Walkers use citric acid, for the vinegar flavour. This is very sharp and doesn't really taste of vinegar (they've started adding malic acid, but they aren't much better). Burts use acetic acid, which is real vinegar. This got me thinking, should they be allowed to call the crisps salt and vinegar, if they don't contain vinegar? This has annoyed me ever since. Today I found a new thing to be irked by crisps about. I'm on a diet and counting my calories. I fancied a bag of McCoys Ridge cut flame grilled crisps. I thought I'd just check the calories to make sure I was within my lunchtime allowance. The crisps come in a 65g bag. I checked the nutritional information on the packet. It gives you the calories for 30g (157kcal)  and 100g (524kcal). Irritatingly, I had set a limit of 350kcals on my snack. With salad & fruit, that would be just under 750kcal (my lunch target). Here's the embarrassing bit. As the pack was 65g, I tried to do a quick calculation in my head as to whether that was undwer the 350kcal, but I am too bad at mental arithmatic to be sure (it is 340kcal). In truth, I was irritated that they hadn't put the pack value. 

Why have two other values? The 30g is allegedly 2-3 servings. I don't know many people who share bags of crisps or save them for later. It is ridiculous. When I thought about it further I realised just how misleading the packaging is. If I hadn't looked carefully, I'd have assumed that a serving was the bag, not 45% of a bag. Like so much 'nutritional advice', you need to be Sherlock Holmes and have a degree in nutrition to decode it. 

Is it really too much to ask for the name of the flavour to reflect the flavour and the health  information to reflect the contents of the pack? 

How life events change us

Can you do something for me please? Find a coin and toss it. Heads or tails?

If it's heads  please have a look at this blog - It was the blog I wrote five years ago today. It was one of the last blogs I wrote before Covid hit and the new normal started.

If it's a tails, please read this blog - it was written two years ago today. It was written two years ago. After we'd opened post pandemic, before I was told that my Prostate cancer had turned nasty. Within a month of this date, I was facing what was a massive personal crisis.

It is quite striking how mundane both were. I had no clue that both of these events would have such a profound effect on my life. It really demonstrates that we don't know what is around the corner. Prior to both events, I'd been merrily chugging along, without a care in the world, then everything changed. Reading both blogs, when I read them back, I felt like it was a rather different person writing them. Events change us. The pandemic made me a lot calmer and more reflective. I'd lived my life at 100mph until then. I was forced to spend four months lying in the sunshine, drinking beer in the back garden. I've never really got back to that speed since. As for the prostate cancer, it has changed a lot of things. I do appreciate a lot of things far more than I did before. 

One of the benefits of writing this blog is that I can see my own personal journey, as much as I see the stories I comment on. I doubt anyone other than me would see why I wouldn't have written these blogs in the way I did, if I wrote them today. Writing a blog can be quite theraputic at time, when things are stressful. However, when things seem to be going well, you get a very different insight. For whatever reason, I find it more and more difficult to have that cheerful, slightly sarcastic tone. I also think far more about my blogs. In the early years, I sometimes wrote 3/4 a day. I guess some of that is age, but I simply couldn't think of that many things to write about now. 

I wonder if people who don't write a blog or a diary recognise the way their thinking and mindset change over the years. I was inspired to read this after talk on the radio about the fifth anniversary of covid. Five years ago, few of us saw the Tsunami coming. We've spent five years living with the consequences. I've spent two years living with the consequences of aggresive prostate cancer and the remedial surgery. One thing I've realised is that despite what happens on this the surface of this planet, in the little corner called Mill Hill, the Earth turns and the Sun rises just the same. Go with the flow.

The Saturday List #475 - My Top five childhood holidays

I awoke feeling a bit nostalgic. I had a dream that I was on holiday with my parents and my sister Caroline in the Canary Islands. It was lovely. My Mum was of Irish descent and highly superstitious, she would always caution us about disclosing dreams on a Saturday morning. She'd say "Friday nights dream, on Saturday told, will always come true, no matter how old". Now if you dream of a plane crash or Donald Trump becoming President, it is worth heeding her warning. However, I can think of nothing more lovely than my folks coming back from the heavenly plain, to take me and Caro on holiday., so I'll take the risk!

Anyway, it got me thinking about the holidays I had with my parents. In truth, they rarely went on holiday together with us. They had to run a business, so would generally holiday seperately. Mum would take the girls and I'd go away with Dad. We did have a few of holidays together. I have fond memories of them. I am sort of guessing the dates of these.

1. Butlins at Clacton 1966. This was the only time I can recall us all going away togetherI was four, mye Eldest brother Laurie who was twenty didn't join us, but the rest of my siblings went. I can remember falling in the swimming pool and nearly drowning. What is odd is that my recollections of this was that it was interesting. The swimming pool at Butlins had windows out onto the street and you could see people walking past. There were odd traditions, such as everyone cheering when a plate was dropped. I loved it. My Mum hated it and said "never again".

2. Lourdes 1967-72. Mum would go on a beach holiday with Caroline and Valerie. I'd go on a religious pilgrammage with my Dad to Lourdes. Every day we'd go to mass, have freezing baths, walk on rocky paths in our bare feet, doing the stations of the cross. Sounds fun? Actually it was brilliant. I loved being with my Dad. We'd spend an hour or two doing the religious stuff, then he'd hit the cafe's and bars. He'd buy me an orange juice, we'd go for waffles, I'd stay up late listening to him chat with random strangers in bars. There were caves nearby, with a train that would shuttle you past stalegmites and stalegtites, a cable car and a funicular railway. My Dad had what I consider a sensible view of religion. God gave us this wonderful planet, so enjoy it as best you can, be nice and say thank you to him for giving us the chance to enjoy it. 

3. Weymouth 1970. As I recall, mum was convalescing after surgery. She had been pretty ill. She was at a home near Weymouth. Dad took us all down to see her. She wasn't really in the mood for a visit from all of us. She was tired and miserable and in pain. So we left her to it. Dad took us to the funfair. There was a ride called "The Wild Mouse". It was absolutely hair raising and was rusty and looked as if it would fall to bits. We had fish and chips and sunbathed on the lovely beach. The next day, we went to see Mum again. Dad said he hoped she'd be in a better mood. She wasn't. Dad gave her a box of chocolates and we ate them all for her. We all piled in Dad's Ford Zodiax and drove home,s topping for a big greasy fry up at a transport cafe. Mum hated such places, for me it was clorious.

4. Brighton, 1972. We booked to go to the "Butlins Holiday Hotel" at Brighton. Mum booked it for a short break, as she 'needed a holiday'. It looked greay in the brochures. A very brutalist concrete structure. As we approached Dad groaned and called it "Hotel Sordide". I am sure it looked great in it's heyday, but nothing about it was very nice. I suspect that Mum had booked it because it was cheap. Sadly it wasn't particularly cheerful. Dad joked that he'd not had so much fun since he'd been a prisoner of war. However, our trips into Brighton were wonderful. I loved the pier and the shops selling sticks of rock. Dad was always great at making the best of a bad situation. I've loved Brighton ever since.

5. Grand Canaria, 1974. The family had been having a miserable time for a few years. Mum had been really ill with cancer, but by 1974, she'd turned the corner and was getting back to her old self. My mum hated the autumn. Her mum had died in October, she'd become morose and grumpy. By mid November, She was in a sour mood. The weather was horrible. Dad's efforts to try and cheer her up were getting nowhere and just made her more grumpy. Dad was an engineer by trade, so he always looked to fix a problem. His analysis was that Mum's miserableness was caused by lack of sunshine. So he came up with a novel solution. He suggested that we go to The Canary Isles, as they'd be hot. He had a Spanish mate, who'd moved back and Dad persuaded Mum that if we went to see him, it would cheer the poor old fella up. The Church had a collection before he left, to help him with his retirement in Spain. When we turned up, to Dad's horror, it turned out he was a multi millionaire, who owned half of the Island. We were given a tour of his banana plantations, which was as dull as dishwater. Dad was furious that he'd taken the cash, when someone needy could have had it. We also went for dinner at his place. That was awkward as the guys son was a fascist and a supporter of General Franco, who Dad couldn't stand. He refused to speak to us at dinner. His wife was very nice though. Years later Mum told me that the sons wife had murdered the husband and her in-laws, by poisoning them. No one deserves that, but Mum confessed she'd probably have murdered them as well if she'd been the wife! Apart from that, it was a wonderful holiday. It was the only beach holiday I had with my parents. The best thing was that they took me out of school for two weeks. It did the trick and Mum was cheered up. Until my Dad passed away, they took a holiday in the sunshine in the winter every year that they could, often at Xmas, when the business was shut. They'd visit my sister who lived in Florida. I would stay at home, have parties and trash the house. Everyone was happy. 

Until I discovered punk rock music in 1977, those were the absolute highights of my life!

Rock and Roll Stories #26 - Musical differences?

What is the most common reason for bands breaking up? It has to be 'musical differences'.  But what does this mean? As somoene who has played in a band for 46 years, run a successful music studio for the same period and knows a whole stack of musicians, some of whom are household names, one thing I learned early on, is that it almost never means as disagreement about music. The early history of the False Dots was littered with people leaving, getting fired, splits and arguements. When we got back together in 2000, I don't think anyone has left due to 'musical differences'. People moved on, moved away or couldn't get to rehearsals or gigs. It has all been extremely civilised. One of the greatest myths is that bands are all mates, sometimes the opposite is true. The Ramones branded themselves as brothers, but Joey and Johnny didn't speak for decades due to Johnny stealing Joey's girflriend. However, they still played together, doing thousands of gigs, while nursing a deep personal enmity. Joey even wrote a song called "The KKK took my baby away" as a dig at Johnny, which Johnny was quite happy to play. There clearly were no 'musical differences' in The Ramones. Or maybe, their lack of commercial success meant they were just lumbered with each other.

I've heard all manner of stories from the stars who use our studios, as to exactly what the "musical differences" really were. Sadly it would be highly unprofessional to share these. What sometimes strikes me as odd, is that when there have been massive fallouts, especially where the band was together for a long time, is an almost shizophrenic view of the other party. There is often a huge sense of betrayal, but when you dig deeper and talk about incidents in the distant past, they are invariably recalled with a degree of love. Anyone who has ever formed a band with someone as a kid, will understand this. When I was getting The False Dots together with Pete Conway, it was a hugely intense relationship. This was not in anyway sexual, but writing songs, going to gigs together, learning to play instruments together, recruiting other members, rehearsing were all very intense experiences. The first song we wrote that really worked was Not All She Seems. The feeling we got as we played it with a drummer for the first time, was intoxicating, a hugely spiritual experience. I am not entirely sure that we liked each other as people though. We were just passengers on a musical journey. When Pete jumped off unexpectedly, I felt hugely betrayed. The fact he has never really given me a satisfactory explanation for not turning up for our first gig, didn't help. His excuse? He went to the pub and lost track of time? I am sure if anyone ever asked him, he'd say "musical differences". 

In 1983, we had another big break up. This was probably the nearest thing to musical differences. Three of the members of the band, Craig, Bill and Eleanor felt that I was not up to it musically and that they were far too good for me. For my part, I felt that they were not  'rock and roll'. I felt that I was doing them a favour letting them be in my wonderful band. Craig (guitar) and Bill (drums) were great musicians, but neither had a single original idea between them. They did a wonderful job of interpreting the songs I wrote, but I felt that if they didn't have direction, they'd be as dull as dishwater. Our bassplayer, Paul agreed with me. I know that sounds terribly arrogant, but it was honestly how I felt. Their failure to do anything with their 'new band' after they left, for me, at the time vindicated my stance. Within three months, we had a new band and were back, better than ever. I would have been intrigued to hear what they came up with. The sad truth for them was that none of them had the drive to kick people's asses, get rehearsals together, book gigs, take tough decisions on how songs should be put together or even what songs to do. Craig was a fantastic guitarist, a good musical arranger and a passable singer. In fairness to him, he was a real asset in the time he was in the band.  Oddly, when it actually came to getting songs together, he was great, hugely enthusiastic. I suspect that it was Eleanor who convinced him that he was "too good for the False Dots". As for Bill, he was an easy going chap who clearly recognised that Criag was a better guitarist and didn't really didn't get all of the other things needed to be in a band.

The next big break up happened about 18 months later. That most definitely wasn't musical differences. It was because I'd made a sully decision to share a flat with two other band members and I am probably the worst person on the planet to share a flat with! That is the best way to discover 'musical differences'. What is interesting talking to some of our higher profile clients, who have been through 'musical differences' is that when you get down to it, it is very hard to hang around in close proximity with a bunch of people for long periods, without them irritating you intensely. You also, sometimes, see them behave badly. Sometimes you see them be beastly to partners and when you console the partner, this develops into something that causes a ll sorts of rifts. Usually these are irrepairable, but some bands manage to put these grudges aside, so as to not shoot the goose that lays the golden egg. The 1960's relationship between Mick Jagger/KeithRichards/Marriane Faithful/Anita Pallenberg is a good example of this.

It must be mentioned that being involved with some musicians is rather like being in a toxic relationship. I have one mate who played for decades with a globally recognised artist of some repute. His efforts were never appreciated and some of the acts of spite directed towards him were truly unbelieveable. My friend put up with it as he was relatively well paid and was given a degree of creative independence. When the parting of the ways did come, it was almost like a liberation for my friend. To this day, the star still strings him along a little bit, as an insurance policy. Fortunately, my friend still gets decent royalty cheques. I was discussing the situation with another mate, who happens to play with Marc Almond.  He was telling me how lovely Marc is an how the contrast couldn't be bigger. It is not a given that a superstar will be a nasty person. 

Of course, there are times when a musician wants to move on and do something different. Perhaps Paul Weller is the best example of this. He split the Jam up at the height of their powers, to form The Syle Council. It was immediately clear that Style Council was not The Jam MkII. Apparently, when Rick Buckler heard the demos of what Weller was doing with The Style Council, his response was "You split up the Jam for this?". Rumour has it that this was the end of any prospect of them working together. 

Often bands evolve and their true musical preferences emerge, sometimes you wonder how they ever collaborated in the first place! A good exampe is The Small Faces were one of the iconic 1960's mod bands. Steve Marriott was fed up with the direction they were taken, so quit to play heavier and more serious blues rock, in Humble Pie. He was replaced by Ronnie Wood and Rod Stewart and the band morphed into The Faces. As Rod Stewart had a separate solo contract, this fuelled a degree of resentment. The band became Rod Stewart and The Faces, with Stewart then going solo. Rod Stewart became a fully fledged pop star, Ronnie Wood joined The Rolling Stones as a hired hand, Ronnie Lane kept the neckerchief rock flag flying with Slim Chance, a brilliant band. Kenny Jones returned to his Mod roots, joining The Who and Ian MacLagan, who's keyboard work defined the sound of the 1960's for many Mods worked as a session player mainly. In my humble opinion (pardon the pun), The Small Faces and The Faces are two of the most important British bands, The Small Faces defining the sound of Mod London and the Faces almost inventing Neckechief Rock and exemplifying early 1970's British rock and roll at it's best. Not bombastic, tuneful, melodious, but most of all great fun. 

What is clear to me, looking at The Small Faces/Faces, is that when you get a group of talented and diverse musicians, with deep musical differences, it can make something absolutely brilliant. I personally don't think any of the musicians listed above has done anything better. So perhaps, if you are an impressario out there and you want to make the perfect band, get five people who don't particularly like each other, but are hugely creative talented musicians and lock them in the studio for six months. It will end in tears, but before it does, it may well make some of the best music you'll ever hear. 

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I thought I'd end this episode with the one recording The False Dots made with Eleanor, Craig, Bill Paul and myself. This was released on a compilation called Directions, released by 101 records in 1983. By the time the album came out, this line up was long gone. It was a very strange period for the False Dots. This was an attempt to make a Blondie-esque pop song. I hadn't quite got the nack of writing cheerful lyrics at the time! There was a degree of dark humour in making such a miserable song sound so flowery. It worked for The Smiths, but not so well for us! As we said, we didn't think Craig or Eleanor were rock and roll. Paul lent Craig (2nd left) his jumper  and I lent Eleanor my leather jacket for the photo shoot. 

Where's your career? It's behind you! Oh no it's not! Oh yes it is... A new idea to transform the business or kill it!

So here's a little story for you. How my business changed our advertising strategy, saved £3-6K a year and got some brilliant customer engagement and how businesses are missing an open goal! It all started when the Pandemic nearly killed our business.

In hindsight, I massively screwed up my finances between 2012 and 2022. I invested a huge sum in my business, Mill Hill Music Complex, the plan being to get it to a point that I could sit back and let my team do the work, whilst sitting back, working part time as an executive director. We had big plans for expansion. It was all going swimmingly.  Then the pandemic hit. Just keeping the business going turned a highly profitable business into one on life support. Cash reserves built up for expansion were used to keep the show on the road. As they say, Man makes plans and God laughs. God certainly laughed at our plans.

We are now five years on from the pandemic descending. The pandemic destroyed our core business of old, fat blokes turning up with all their mates to play rock and roll and drink lager. Some died, some moved away, some just got out of a the 30 year habit and became hermits! In 2022, as we emerged from the pandemic, my assumption was that this core business would come back. It didn't. Of course we have plenty of the old customers, but whereas it was 75% of our turnover pre pandemic, now it is nearer 25%, we needed to build a completely new customer base, to replace the one we'd spent 40 years developing that melted away during Covid. It was clear that  our marketing strategy and growth plans had gone the way of the dinosaurs.  At the start of last year, we took a long hard look at the business and what we found was quite shocking. Everything was wrong. Nothing was working properly. Our website was out of date, our pricing policy didn't work for the post covid world. Our marketing budget was all being wasted. We'd lost four years. It is hard to spot such trends, without the data, but by early 2024, it was clear and the data was there, not least in the bank balance. 

So where to start? Well the first thing we needed to do was upgrade our website. This had been built in 2013 and was old hat. There is no point chasing new business when it doesn't work properly and is not fit for purpose. We wanted something that new customers would see and think "Yeah, this is looks like a pretty good studio". That took six months to get right. The next thing was our pricing policy. If you get this wrong, you lose customers. You have to tread carefully. We pride ourselves on being economical and good value. We could charge our premium customers a lot more and make more money, but that was never why we started the business. We want to take our customers with us. We did a lot of research and worked out how to restructure our charges whilst keeping our existing customer onside. When we put our prices up in January, we emailed our customers to explain why some would see a huge hike in costs. The response. Almost all were understanding and none complained. Having addressed the two biggest issues, we are now looking at our marketing budget. We have spent almost nothing on marketing since last March. 

We'd been spending around £3-6K a year with Google on Adwords since we rebuilt our website in 2013. We had got lazy and whilst it was bringing in customers, was it the best way to spend the money? This was a fascinating question. When it comes to advertising and actually working out whether things like social media engagement actually works, it is a very difficult thing to do. I sat down with the team and we came up with a radical idea. What is our biggest asset as a business? Our customers. We had a radical idea. Rather than give the likes of google our marketing cash, why not give it to our customers? Let them spread the message and pay them for their efforts? Having hit them with a big increase in some of our charges, we can give some of it back. Musicians have friends, many of whom are musicians, so why not give them a discount if they plug us on their own social networks. It is a great way to get highly targetted advertising. We did our first campaign in February and it was a success. Like everything, it needs some refinement, but it caused a buzz, got a good response and we are seeing more customers coming through the door. 

So how has it worked? Well for the period in question, we saw around a 20% increase in new customers registering on the system. We need around 25 new customers a week to keep the business stable. We have been well in excess of this for the period. It got me thinking, how many other businesses are switched on to this fact. It is a win/win. We cut the hit on our cashflow from paying multinationals, we generate goodwill with our customers and we get new business. Most businesses who have their customer details bombard them with offers, but far fewer actually get their customers to advertise their businesses for them. Let me give you an example. We are members of the Virgin Gym in Mill Hill. They are always bombarding us with offers, asking us to introduce a friend and giving us a free month if they do. But they haven't switched on to the fact that getting members to post on Instagram and TikTok how good they gym has been for them is worth a reward. Our little campaign in February was an experiment. It worked way beyond our expectations. This time last year, I was seriously considering joining my friends on the beach. At sixty two I am feeling re-energised. Maybe I should start a new, part time career advertising designing campaigns for other companies that are based on customer engagement. I have a great team here and it works. 

Here are a few examples of our customers great work!

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Education and why we should teach young people to think

Young people today are absolutely swamped with information. If the president of Chile break wind at an inappropriate moment, it will become a meme and a billion people will see it within half an hour, as it goes viral on TikTok. When I was a teenager, the first time I heard about global warming was when my elder brother Laurie gave me a copy of Scientific American magazine and said "read this, it is really worrying". As there was nothing on telly, I read the article, written by an eminent professor. It was well researched and backed up with data. I was convinced by his argument and I have yet to hear a reasoned argument that refutes a word of it. Most of my Son's Generation Z clan, would have heard about the issue from the likes of Nigel Farage, Elon Musk and Donald Trump on Twitter. They "don't have time" to read long, boring articles in worth scientific journals. If you can't win an argument in a shouty tweet, then your opinions don't matter. 

Somewhere between 1980 and today, we decided that thinking was old hat and getting triggered and shouting is the way forward. The likes of Trump and Farage do not write long, well researched arguments for worthy magazines like Scientific American or New Scientist. When most people research a subject, they go to Youtube and watch videos that are invariably made to shock and are always short on facts and data. 

When I was at school, I was a thicko. I couldn't read effectively until I was eleven. I didn't read any  books until I was twelve. I would deliberately get thrown out of lessons at St Vincents so I could sit outside in the Sun and imagine I was somewhere else. I'd even bring in pieces of bread to feed the sparrows whilst I was standing outside the classroom. I hated learning and being educated. It was only when I got into Punk Rock that I realised that you had to educate yourself. When I was about fourteen, I re-engaged with education. What I soon realised though, was that our schools do not want you to think for yourself. I was constantly getting into trouble for arguing with teachers and telling them they were wrong. This was what got me slung out of FCHS. In hindsight, I was a pain in the arse, but the fact that some of the teachers refused to discuss the points I raised made me deeply sceptical of the way we educate children. I didn't understand that the teachers were teaching a formal curriculum so we could simply answer bog standard questions and pass exams. If we started to think we'd not learn to parrot the information and we'd fail all of the tests. I was never particularly interested in passing tests. I am endebted to John Shuttler at FCHS who explained to me that if I wanted to learn about physics, I'd have to play the game, pass the exams and then if you are clever enough, you actually get to learn to think about the subject at University. That was when I realised that school isn't designed to make you think. When I was aty FCHS, 4% of the population went to University. They went on to become the elite that ruled the country and had all the best jobs. In a world where learning was something driven by books and classrooms and we had a huge manufacturing base as a nation, keeping us all dumb worked well. Now, we are battered with information. We are not taught to think, so we cannot properly process the information. We just get triggered and react stupidly. It is all rather stupid. Let me give you an example.

 Yesterday, I was triggered. I was at work and listening to Mr Eddie Nestor on BBC Radio London on the mid morning show. He made a statement that "White, Middle Class men don't clean the toilets at the BBC". This infuriated me. I am a white, middle class male, I run my own business and when the toilets get blocked, I put the rubber gloves on. I took Eddies comment as a blanket statement that white, middle class men were privileged, lazy and unprepared to get their hands dirty. I found that quite insulting and I sent an angry email, which he read out. His riposte was that I'd completely misinterpreted and misrepresented what he had said. His point was that it is those at the bottom of the pile, recent immigrants usually, who do dirty, low paid jobs. They do this to pay the bills and build a better life for their families. Having slept on the matter, I have reached two conclusions. The first is that his general point is correct. The second is that his use of language was awful. As he actually conceded, award winning presenters of colour, such as himself, don't clean the loos either. It is not something the middle classes do in professional jobs (as opposed to small business owhers). Bringing colour into it was unhelpful and completely undermind what was a good point. 

What is my takeaway from this silly exchange? I broke one of my own rules. I try not to get triggered. As a general rule, before I respond to anything I try and consider three things. 1. What has been said. 2. What did they mean. 3. Why did they say it. I simply reacted angrily to the first part of this. If I'd thought about it properly, I'd have considered points two and three and sent a very different email, if I'd actually bothered at all. What Eddie meant and why he said it were sentiments I agree with. If I'd sent any email, I'd probably have said something along the lines "Eddie, you made a good point, why did you need to take a swipe at white, middle class males, when none of the executives, presenters, prdoucers or researchers of any colour or creed clean the bogs at the BBC. It devalued the point about recent immigrants having to take horrible jobs to build a future".

I am actually disappointed by my response to Eddie. Why? Because I have spent thirty years learning not to get triggered and react. The one thing I've learned is that when you get angry, your brain functions in a sub optimal manner if you are trying to win arguments. When I was 33 years old, I undertook anger management counselling. As my wife was pregnant with my daughter, I felt I needed to address my issues with anger and flying off the handle, when people said the wrong thing to me. This was one of the best things I have done. That was where I learned the principles of analysing What has been said, What did they mean, Why did they say it. In hindight, what shocks me most is that it took me until I was 33 before anyone told me that you have to consider the things that annoy you properly before you react. 

In a world where we are battered with all manner of social media provocations, learning to think is the key to mental stability. We can't keep our young people away from social media and being triggered. What we can do, is teach them to look beyond the "what did they say". When we get to the why are they saying it and what do they really mean, we may find that they react in a completely different way.  When we see provocative videos from the likes of Stephen Yaxley-Lennon (who likes to call himself Tommy Robinson to sound less posh), rather than react to the inflammatory statements, when we ask "why is he saying this" generally it is to get a reaction and trigger people into reacting, which amplifies the post and also generates cash for him. When we get to the "what did he really mean", it gets more complicated. Often, when I analyse the most inflammatory statements, I actually conclude that they mean nothing at all. The posters haven't actually bothered to think through what they are saying.

Lets take the news that yesterday, we saw more small boats cross the channel than any day this year has triggered a storm of angry tweets. Lets think about it. The sun is shining, the winds are low, the weather is warmer. Of course there will be more boats than if there are storms and gale force winds. The boat crossings have been going on for years. Every year, the gangs get better at it, because there is a huge profit to be made. Of course the government should do more. But getting cross because the sun is shining, Is that really logical.?

And consider how Twitter now works. If you pay for a blue tick, Elon Musk pays you for engagements with your followers. It can be quite lucrative, but to get good engagement, you need to be provocative. The more outrageous and triggering you are, the more dosh you make. Add to that an education system, where we are not taught to think, and it is easy to see why we have the idocracy that we have found ourselves lumbered with. If the UK really wants a population fit for the information age, we need to educate young people to cope with it and process information rationally, rather than just getting triggered. But then, if we all started to think about our situation, we might actually see some sort of change.  Back in 1976, Richard Hell wrote a song called "Liars Beware". The opening lyrics were "Look out liars and you highlife scum, Who gotta keep your victims poor and dumb"

Not much has changed, has it?

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Environment Monday - Is net zero dead?

"Drill Baby, Drill!" - This is the clarion call of the Leader of the Western World. The highly prestigious and always accurate Daily Express reports that Sir Keir Starmer is going to sack his Net Zero minister Ed Miliband, as Starmer abandons green policies. One may conclude that "Net Zero is dead". Are they right? It certainly seems like this may be the case. The question is, has the whole global warming thing been a scam to impoverish us? Are all the sceintists, supercomputer models etc wrong? Does Bert down the pub, who has done hours of research on Youtube and thinks Laurence Fox and Nigel Farage are the way forward, have it right? Well, in the short term, if you only are concerned with economic prosperity, yes. Abandoning net zero will be good for the economy. The GDP will rise and we will feel better off. I am not qualified to know what effect this will have and when or even if we will see the downside, but personally, I do trust the people who are qualified. When I had cancer and needed my prostate removed, I went to the best surgeon I could find. Thus far, it seems that was a very sensible decision. Likewise with climate change. I would trust the person who is best qualified to plan the future of the world.

When it comes to experts, I think of something my Dad taught me. We were discussing racial prejudice. He posed a problem to me. When he was flying Wellington bombers for the RAF in 1944, he relied on the engineers who serviced the planes. He asked me a question. There are three engineers, one is English, one is Indian and one is African. Which one would I choose to service the plane? The answer? The best engineer. When your life and your future depends on it, you want someone who you have absolute faith in. Now with climate change, are we listening to the best qualified people, who have scientific data to back their views up? Or are we listening to ignorant loudmouths, who have opinions that are not supported by data? 

In effect, by allowing CO2 levels to rise in an uncontrolled manner, Trump et all are conducting a massive experiment on a planetary level. Is this wise? It doesn't strike me as the most sensible way to proceed. I get that the UK produces a tiny amount of the worlds CO2 and if the USA decides to go hell fo leather for a petrol based economy, theres not much we can do. I do wonder about Elon Musk though. He made his name developing electric cars and efficient batteries. Trump's stance will be bad for business. I simply cannot believe Musk is a climate denier. Has he sold his soul for a seat at the table? 

The world can act like ostriches and bury our heads in the sand. That won't make the problems go away. It just means that when we do address it, the pain will be far worse. By then, the likes of Trump will not be around to pay the price.

The Sunday Reflection #44 - Don't despair, this will pass

On Friday, as I mentioned yesterday, I had a lovely day. This was brought to an absolute juddering halt, when I returned home, put on the telly and Sky news appeared with the news that Donald Trump had sent President Zelenskyy packing from the White House. I was in an absolute state of shock as it unfolded in front of me. I've never seen anything like it, ever. The footage of Trump and Vance attempting to bully and belittle the Ukrainian president reminded me of a bad gangster movie, where the Mafia bosses are putting a lackey in their place. The total lack of respect Trump and Vance clearly have for Zelenskyy was paraded in front of the whole world. I have watched the footage a few times to try and understand and make sense of it. The more I watch, the more it appears to me that Zelenskyy was ambushed by Vice President Vance. I suspect that if it had just been Trump and Zelenskyy, the meeting would have been reasonably cordial and the deal would have been done. Vance had a different agenda. He clearly wanted to put Zelenskyy in his place. This triggered Trump. I suspect that Trump is less than happy with how it all went. He wanted a juicy deal and to be able to boast he'd ended the war. The deal disappeared before his eyes. The right wing in the USA were thrilled to see this display, but any sane person should be deeply worried. 

The first thing that occurred to me is that Trump has forced Europe to step up. One of the reasons that the USA is far more economically powerful than Europe is because historically Europe is divided and cannot get its act together. It is clear that Starmer and Macron have realised that they simply cannot bury their heads in the sand. Trump may have done the pair of them a massive favour. Forcing Europe to get its act together will make two leaders, who had looked as effective as a melting jelly, look like effective and assertive statesman in a way most of us couldn't  have imagined. Starmer has taken a lot of criticism for his attempts to snuggle up to Trump. The narrative is that Zelenskyy showed Starmer how its done. The opposite is true. Starmer simply tried to develop a sane, grown up relationship with a very unpredictable man. The realities of global realpolitik dictate that this is how it's done. Whatever you think of Trump, he was legitimately elected and whether we like him or not, God willing, he'll be in the job for the next three years and ten months. If he drops dead, we'll have Vance, who seems to me to be even worse. So careful what you wish for. 

If things carry on the path that seems to be emerging, when the next President walks into the White House, the USA will be a very different place. It is clear that Trump sees foreign policy only as a business transaction. My view is that the end result of this will be a Europe which is far stronger. We really have no choice in this matter. I suspect that this will have the opposite effect to the one Trump wants. Whilst Trump plans to stick massive tariffs on EU goods, to reign the EU in, it seems to me that this will be another driver for the EU to get its act together. One interesting development that the Musk/Trump bromance has seen, is a collapse in sales of Tesla cars in Europe. It is all very well having deals, tariffs, etc, but if your brand is tainted, it will cost you money. If people don't want to buy your products, then it will damage your business. I am not sure that having the stars and stripes on US products will help sales around the world at the moment. If I were the CEO of a US company operating in Europe, I would be concerned. When sales slump, CEO's get the sack, even when it is the policies of an idiot that have caused the collapse. When the bottom line of US corporations start to feel the pinch, I fully expect to see the narrative change. Trump is banking on loosening regulation, increasing oil production and savings on Federal budgets to get the economy booming. I think there are two problems with this approach. The first is that any oil company making large, long term investment decisions will have to gamble on the post Trump administration sticking with these policies. I don't think that's a slam dunk and if the mid term elections see a swing to the democrats, then the bubble may be popped before it's inflated. The second is that stripping down the federal infrastructure might save tax, but it may also badly effect the ability of Trumps administration to govern. I've worked in companies where there have been mass redundancies. People down tools and some sabotage things. It is awful for morale. For any organisation to work, you need goodwill from the staff. Painting your own staff as the bad guys is insanity. 

Business thrives when there is certainty and a stable economic environment. When there is chaos, you really don't want to start investing in long term developments. There may be short term tactical wins (selling bullets and bombs), but ultimately for a vibrant world economy, chaos is the last thing you need. Just about everyone on the planet expected Zelenskyy to sign the deal with Trump, the war to be wound down and a degree of stability to return. Trump's hissy fit showed that nothing can be taken for granted. All leaders who are invited into the Oval office will now be aware that it can go tits up in a spectacular manner. After the cordial meetings between Trump and Starmer/Macron, many leaders who were a bit wary of Trump probably thought "Maybe he's not so bad". The brutal truth is that they cannot escape the fact that a meeting with Trump and Vance is like playing catch with a live hand grenade.

And one last observation on the world scene. Don't overrate the capabilities of Putin. He invaded Ukraine because he thought Ukraine would collapse. It didn't. He's had to shore up his army with North Korean conscripts. His biggest Middle Eastern ally in Syria got booted out. He is reliant on China to shore him up. Putin desperately wants a way out. He had hoped that Trump would strike a dea with Zelenskyy, so that the war could end, he could nick some territory and claim a victory and the sanctions would be lifted. What happened was not a victory for him. If Europe does get its act together and shore up Ukraine without the US, then that is a real disaster for Putin. The idea that an army who couldn't beat Ukraine is a threat to the rest of us is lunacy.  

The only real solace for me, is that this will pass. The Trump era will not last forever. So long as Tangoman's ineptitude doesn't blow us all up, I am pretty convinced that this will eventually come to be seen as a rather odd interlude in history, when people wonder how the hell we ever got into this mess. 

Tangoman's behaviour inspired me to put this together, it uses a live track from The False Dots recent gig.

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