The Sunday Reflection #59 - Time to start liking myself?

 Yesterday, I had a party to celebrate my 63 years on the planet. We were away for my actual birthday, so we scheduled it for this weekend. I asked some of my favourite musicians down to play a few tunes, my band, The False Dots played a set and then we had a free for all karaoke session. We finally finished the fun at 2am. I am not at my brightest today, if truth be told. Today has been what one may call a slow day. 

Sixty three years old? How did that happen. As an August baby, I was always the youngest in my class. I am the youngest of six children, in short, I've always thought of myself as a youngster. Being in a rock and roll band keeps the illusion going. We play original material and many of the people who come and see us are decades younger. They don't seem bothered that we have a collective age of over 220 years old. When the False Dots played our first gig in 1980, the collective age was 73. Tom, our trumpet player, is only 40 so he massively brings the average down!

Last night we had  alovely mix of young and old for the party. Mates came, some of my staff came (it was at the studio), my kids and some of their mates came. We did the conga, we boogied. I was reflecting on this today, How lucky am I that my kids still want to hang out with me. We genuinely all really love and care for each other. One of the central ethos I hold dear is that I beleive life is to be enjoyed. Bad times, problems will come, you can't avoid that, but when youy can, let your hair down and have fun. My band makes fun music. We try and include everyone in the fun. Some of the songs have serious subject matter, but you can still dance to them. 

One of the biggest hangovers I've had is a life long one, from my education at St Vincents and FCHS. Not all, but far too many of the teachers spent their time trying to convince me I was a useless idiot, who had nothing good to offer the world. The sad thing is that I believed them for far too long. In fact, perhaps yesterday was the moment that I made a conscious decision to throw that particular piece of toxic baggage in the bin. I've no idea why God put us all here, but I suspect one of the reasons was so that we made kids who were better versions of us, in the hope that one day, the world would improve. Now sadly the world currently doesn't seem to be improving, but my kids are great. Therefore I've done my bit. They are not perfect, they are not angels, I am not blind to their faults, but they are good people. They are all adults and they are nice adults. I have never tried to live my life through my kids. I let them do their thing. The fact they want to hang out with me sometimes is something I take pride in.

I think back to the teachers who were not pleasant and who undermined me. None really seemed happy people. I suspect that none of them ever did the conga to ska music! It may seem a trivial point, but for me it is so important. It really is OK to like yourself, especially when you do stuff you like!