The Sunday Reflection #64 - 30 years ago today, my life changed forever

 What were you doing 30 years ago today. Thursday 12th October 1995? I can tell you exactly. But first let me tell you what I did on The preceding Wednesday evening. I sat in on my own, with a tasty curry from the Mill Hill Tandoori and I watched England play Norway. It was a 0-0 draw. The England team contained such talents as Nick Barmby, Dennis Wise, Tony Adams and Gary Pallister. Terry Venables was the manager. I had onion bhajis, a bhuna prawn masala, tarka dal, pilau rice and a naan. I washed it down with a couple of cans of Fosters. I'd had a busy day. I had a early night after that, as I was exhausted.

On the 12th, I got up, had a shower, had a cup of tea and a bowl of porridge and drove up to Edgware General hospital. I was bring my baby home! The day before, my eldest daughter had been born. Clare stayed in with her. She was tired and I had left her to rest with our new daughter. Clare had been tired after the efforts of giving birth. She looked much better. Our little baldy baby was a cutie. The previous nights curry and beer had been the last time for a very long time, that I'd sit in on my own, watch footie and do such things. A baby changes everything in a family. 

After seeing the midwife, etc. We packed up everything and drove home in my gold Ford Cortina estate. To my wife's mild irritation, I insisted on putting on Sailor by The Steve Miller band before we entered the house. I was told that if you introduced a baby to a noisy house, they would never have problems sleeping. I thought full on Punk rock would be a bit much, so Steve  Millers greatest album seemed right. We got settled in and then the visits started. Clare called her Mum, who turned up almost immediately. Maddie was her first grand daughter, so she was most excited. My mum then showed up. She already had six grand daughters, but she was still thrilled. 

Clares sisters and my sister Caroline also showed up. I was worried it was all a bit much for Clare, but she was fine. We had no idea what to expect. I wasn't looking forward to the sleep deprivation that everyone told me would happen.  We were determined to try and get our little baby into some sort of routine. We put her down at 11pm and she slept until about 4am. At first we checked ever two minutes to ensure she wasn't dead. We ensured the door was shut, so the cat wouldn't murder her. To my amazement, she never really woke up in the night. We all think our babies are the best, but Maddie was really easy. She always had a big smile, except when her bottle ran out. She'd always scream with anger when she realised the bottle was empty. 

Many things changed in my life. I stopped playing 11 a side football. I did this for a year, as I felt that being away all day on Saturday would be unfair. I never played it again. The band was in hiatus at the time. Any plans I might have had to relaunch it went on indefinite hold. We were in the process of building the studio up. At the time, we only had two studios. We were making plans, but they were very much a sideline. We didn't have the shop, the hire business or the recording operation. Ernie Ferebee had just got involved. My main job was doing IT consultancy for Streamline, whichg was Nat West IT Business. It was well paid. When Maddie was six months old, we went on a holiday to Devon. She was just starting to talk (she hasn't really stopped since). The waiter came around and offered us menus. To his surprise, when he asked this little baldy baby if she wanted a menu, she said "yes". He asked her what she wanted and she pointd at something and said "martoes". I said "She wants tomatoes". So these were duly brought and she tucked in. 

I was doing long hours and was on 24 hour callout, doing my best to ensure that our little baby had a secure upbringing. For me, having kids was never something I'd thought about until Clare started to expect Maddie. I was convinced that she was going to be a boy. I told everyone this, and that my eldest son would be called Joe (after Judge Joe Dredd from 2000AD, Clare was horrified but actually liked the name and agreed. She was less keen on my suggested middle name of Rico, which is Judge Dredds rogue brother). All the family were convinced as well. When Maddie was born, we realised that we didn't really have a name, but we'd discussed Madeleine and quite liked it. When I told my mum, she said "You can't call her that, I have a book with lots of nice names in". Once she turned up, everyone agreed Maddie was a wonderful name. I am actually glad I had a daughter first. I think I'd have been a nightmare for a first born son. By the time Matt was born, I had calmed down a bit, The Lord works in mysterious ways. Having not really wanted kids, I now realise just what a blessing they are. I've always believed in letting them follow their own path and supporting them as best we can. It works for us. I am so proud of them all. 

And here we are, 30 years later. On Friday night, we had a birthday party for Maddie at the studio. My other two lovely kids were there. Playing Steve Miller as she entered the house clearly worked as she loves music. I was proud that my band, The False Dots (who emerged from our hiatus when she was five) were asked to play by her friend Helen who arranged the surprise party. It was a blast. Here is how we partied!

@falsedotsrog The False Dots performing We don’t live in America at @Mill Hill Music Complex for Maddies birthday #jazzpunk #ska #punk #soulmusic #skapunk ♬ original sound - FalseDotsRog