Forget Aliens, Atlantis, The Marie Celeste, The Bermuda Triangles. Whilst many consider these to be the big mysteries of our time, there are far greater conundrums. As we don't do politics in this slot, I won't discuss how anyone can take people like Nigel Farage seriously. No,these are things that matter and affect us in a massive way.
1. Why are Scotland always so rubbish at World Cups. Now you may say that is easy, because their players and managers are rubbish and at the moment it may be true, but in the 1960's and 1970's all of the top teams in the top division were stuffed full of brilliant Scots. Celtic were the first British team to win the European cup in 1967, with a team of lads raised locally. Some of the greatest managers of all time were Jocks. Stein, Ferguson and Shankly are absolute Icons. It makes no sense to me.
2. Why do the British invent so many things, only for everyone else to end up doing it better? Football, Cricket, the World Wide Web, The steam engine, programmable computers, to name a few.
3. Why have we elected people who let point 2 happen for the last couple of hundred years? It is beyond my comprehension.
4. Why do posh restaurants that serve food with chips never seem to have proper malt vinegar? Forgive me if I've missed something, but it is a very cheap substance. Anyone with half a brains knows that vinegar is the best condiment for chips. Chips taste just as much like chips in posh venues as they do in cheap ones. I am more than happy for people who don't like vinegar to not use it, but is it really beyond the wit of people who sometimes charge a tenner for chips to give you the right condiment? If any such chef is out there, I don't go back if this happens.
5. Why did the BBC stop making Top of The Pops? It was a brilliant showcase for British music, helped many artists break through, was incredibly cheap to produce and they show repeats of it all the time so they must realise it was an excellent product. Sure, it was going through a lull when it was canned, but this happened many times. SInce it disappeared it has become incredibly hard for new artists to properly get established.
6. Why does BBC Radio London music schedulers never support local artists. They seem obsessed playing Americans with whiny accents, whilst London's musicians don't get a look in. They also totally neglect genres. For instance, I am not a lover of metal music, but it never gets played, despite a whole scene existing. I am sure a metal show at 10pm on a Monday would get an amaing following. There are plenty of other genres equally overlooked. I picked one I don't like and don't listen to because that way no one can say "He's only whinging because they don't play his awful band".
7. Why do good looking women choose to disfigure themselves with plastic surgery? Every time I've mentioned this on the blog, people have got up in arms, but it is true. I understand people who have a disfigurement etc or who have had an accident and want to not have to be stared at. I am not talking about that. I am talking about people who look absolutely fine. The worst example was when Lesley Ash had her trout pout surgery. It's a free country and if it makes people happy, that is there business, but I simply cannot understand it.
8. Why are airlines allowed to say a flight takes 45 minutes, when they require you to get there two hours before? I believe that security check in times etc should all be included in the time. They should quote the time it takes from the moment you walk in the airport, to the moment you walk out of the other airport as the flight time. That way, there would be an inentive for airports to be more efficienct. Consumers are being cheated. Of course airports love it as we have to sit around cramped airports, drinking coffee etc that is twice as expensive as normal. A bottle of water at Heathrow is over £3.
9. Why is the blatent corruption in the organisation of major sports never investigated by the police?
10.Why is it that when I look in the mirror and see myself, I often think "what a handsome soul" but when I see a photograph of myself I useually look like Albert Steptoe's ugly brother (a kick in the nuts for anyone who proposed plastic surgery).