Councillor Matthew Offord makes my day !

This will be the very last reference to the Brian Coleman case (unless something new and exciting happens) and this particular reference is actually just a bit of salacious gossip I thought I'd share with you as it's rather funny and it will give those of you that didn't attend the hearing a taste of what it was like. This isn't about the actual case at all, it's just about how interesting an experience it was.

I arrived late to the meeting and it had kicked off. There was a square of tables at the front for the committee and the legal reps and a few rows of chairs facing for the audience. These had copies of the papers on. At the side was the press table. The Hendon times and the Ham & High were represented. As I entered the Town Hall, I knew Coleman was their because the Mayoral Limo was parked outside the main door. I guess if I'd been Mayor and I'd been hauled before the Standards committe, I'd have probably arrived in a less ostentatious manner, but hey ho, I'm not Brian Coleman.

At the front was Brians mum, Lynne Hillan and another Tory Councillor (I think Robert Rams). I went and sat in the second row initially, next to Councillor Andreas Tambourides. I did this for a specific reason. He's on the Standards Committe and I wanted to see if he had any notes etc. This made him rather uncomfortable. In the row behind me was Councillor Julie Johnson and another Labour member. At the back was Tim Dononvan from the BBC. Ex Councillor Dan Hope and a few other people were also along for the ride.

As the proceedings kicked off, it became clear there was a problem. No one was reading from the same page. I really don't know how it happened, but when someone said turn to page 13, they all looked at different pages and got totally confused. It was rather funny.

After about an hour there was a break for tea. As I got a drink, I looked over. I happened to make eye contact with Brian Coleman's lawyer. At this point Coleman had gone off with his Council buddies and his lawyer (who I thought was excellent) was alone with his thoughts. I'm really not sure what he was thinking, but I can honestly say I've never seen a more forlorn, sad look on anyone's face. I must have stared at him for a minute before he realised I was wathcing him. As we made eye contact, he went into his "Top city lawyer" look again, calm confident. He's probably read every blog I've written, so he clearly would know I enjoy observing people. I'd like to think he was thinking "All that education, all that hard work, just to end up here, doing this". For all I know though, he was probably thinking "Doris said she's cooking lasagne for dinner and I hate lasagne". Either way, he just looked really, really miserable.

After the second break, I had to depart for a while. When I returned, I'd missed the verdict. I was shocked to find that they'd found Brian Coleman in breach of the code of conduct, but we had to wait for the punishment. As the committee came back, we all sat down. I sat at the back (near Tim Donovan, the BBC man) so I could see what everyone was up to. The committee announced there findings and then I spoke to the Times & the Ham & High. Brian Coleman by this time had departed, as had Hillan. Tambourides was still there and the rather charming Matthew Offord had joined the party.

Now some opposition members would have you believe that Matthew is a rather odd character. I think that this is grossly unfair. Unlike all of his other Tory colleagues, he came and sat as close to me as he possibly could and actually cracked a rather funny joke to me. I'm not sure if everyone else always gets his sense of humour, but anyone taking the mickey out of Brian Coleman is OK by me. When he came and sat down I said "Matthew....." he cut me off mid sentence and in his best widow twanky voice said "Mr Tichborne, show me some respect, call me Councillor Offord" and he winked at me (at least I assume it was a wink and not a nervous tick). At which I replied in my best widow Twanky voice "Councillor Offord, don't be so childish". Given that the committee were just about to make their statement, it was hard not to have a fit of hysterics. Matthew then realised that Tim Donovan, a colleague of his from the BBC was sitting down and had heard his little joke and turned bright purple.

Yeah, I know it doesn't sound that funny, I guess you had to be there. I've no idea whether Matthew doesn't get on with Brian Coleman or he was just having a bit of fun because I've been plugging his blog on the Times. Councillor Andreas Tambourides looked around at that point. I'm not sure what he made of it. Given that he's a dead ringer for Sid James, of Carry On fame, I was hoping he'd crack a joke as well, but I suppose that as he's on the Standards Committee, he had to keep up a modicum of decorum.