Nope, it's not April 1st. The Barnet Eye is happy to announce that we have revoked the title of "The Biggest Twat in Barnet" which we awarded to Councillor Robert Ramsbottom. Word has reached this blog that young Councillor Sheepsjacksie has seen the error of his ways. Let me explain what seems to have happened. Last August, young Sheepsjacksie had fallen in with a right dodgy crowd (AKA. The Barnet Tories). Under their bad influence, young Bobby, who is a bit weak and impressionable, came up with the marvellous idea to close all of Barnets libraries and sell them off to Starbucks. Now as regular readers will know, this blog immediately lead a campaign to halt the process in its tracks. Poor old Bobby started to feel the heat, being regularly harangued by angry Grannies whenever he emerged from his bunker.
Now my blog stats showed that young Bobby had taken to obsessively reading my blog. At some point, the penny dropped. He suddenly realised "Hey, that Rog T is right. If I don't shut the libraries, the grannies will love me and I'll be able to poke fun at all of those nasty socialist Councils who are shutting them. I'll be a hero!". Now it is quite likely that he discussed his cunning plan with his former boss at the GLA, Roger Evans. Roger is probably the nicest and most sensible Tory in London, if not the whole world. He does good things like campaigning to keep hospitals open, writes a brilliant blog, and is a generally good egg. Now I don't know what Roger would have said, but it was most likely something like "That blogger Rog T is a genius, you'd do well to listen to him and not those dunderheads like Brian Coleman".
Anyway there was a loud clunk as the penny dropped, the Libraries were saved and hey presto, from being the biggest pariah in Barnet, the bum of the sheep became the best loved Tory in the Borough (after Kate Salinger of course). Now as part of his rehabilitation, Roger also clearly recommended that Bobby write a blog. Roger clearly would have given Bobby a few tips "Keep the voters informed, in an interesting and informative way" would most certainly have been his advice. Sadly Bobby's early efforts were rather grim and written in Barnet "Kremlinspeak". This lead to young Sheepsjacksie being awarded the inaugural "Crap London Blog" award. Sadly, as we've established, young Bobby is rather thin skinned and doubtless got rather upset. As ever, he doubtless sought the wise Council of his mentor Roger Evans. Now I've no idea what Roger would have told him, but it was probably something rather like this "Now listen Bobby, I already told you that Rog T is a genius and he's quite right, it is rather dull. Now listen, why Rog T is such a marvellous blogger is because he can be quite funny. He uses all of the tools of the trade, Irony, Sarcasm and Fantastical situationalism to illustrate his points. And don't censor the comments, use them to your advantage to display your sparkling wit".
If ever you want to cut the mustard, you'd do well to listen to him". Now I'll give young Bobby this, he's nothing if not a quick learner. Yesterday we saw the first efforts, using Roger's wise advice.
http://robertrams.wordpress.com/2011/04/20/council-tax-mistake-isn%E2%80%99t-an-argument-against-privatisation/#comment-27
You can read it for yourself and see that the Kremlinspeak is largely gone. Best of all his comment in reply to Mrs Angry is an effort of supreme wit and irony. I suspect it may even be the work of the Great Roger Evans himself. Check this out
-----------------------------------------------
robertrams says:
Clarification for the rather dim and humourless : Any references to the opinions of Roger Evans regarding the intellectual prowess of the author of this blog (or anything else) is purely made up for purposes of your entertainment. Whilst both Roger Evans and myself are proud members of the League of Rogers, I'd like to state that we have at no time discussed Councillor Robert Rams, his intellectual prowess, his policy on libraries or whether he's a twat.
P.S - Roger Evans has another blog called Get Selected. He offers advice to women on how to get selected as Candidates. I'd like to suggest that he takes Mrs Angry and VickiM57 under his wing, as I think they have the potential to be the best 2 councillors in Barnet. I don't know if he helps Socialists, but if he does, then I can think of no better candidates in London.
P.P.S. - I also noticed that Councillor Ramsbottom referred to Mrs Angry her "alleged" first name. Is this a Brian Colemanesque "We've got your number" type of threat?
P.P.P.S - Lets see if young Sheepsjacksie is "man enough" to moderate my comment on his post
Rog T says: Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Enjoy your bank holiday !
Now my blog stats showed that young Bobby had taken to obsessively reading my blog. At some point, the penny dropped. He suddenly realised "Hey, that Rog T is right. If I don't shut the libraries, the grannies will love me and I'll be able to poke fun at all of those nasty socialist Councils who are shutting them. I'll be a hero!". Now it is quite likely that he discussed his cunning plan with his former boss at the GLA, Roger Evans. Roger is probably the nicest and most sensible Tory in London, if not the whole world. He does good things like campaigning to keep hospitals open, writes a brilliant blog, and is a generally good egg. Now I don't know what Roger would have said, but it was most likely something like "That blogger Rog T is a genius, you'd do well to listen to him and not those dunderheads like Brian Coleman".
Anyway there was a loud clunk as the penny dropped, the Libraries were saved and hey presto, from being the biggest pariah in Barnet, the bum of the sheep became the best loved Tory in the Borough (after Kate Salinger of course). Now as part of his rehabilitation, Roger also clearly recommended that Bobby write a blog. Roger clearly would have given Bobby a few tips "Keep the voters informed, in an interesting and informative way" would most certainly have been his advice. Sadly Bobby's early efforts were rather grim and written in Barnet "Kremlinspeak". This lead to young Sheepsjacksie being awarded the inaugural "Crap London Blog" award. Sadly, as we've established, young Bobby is rather thin skinned and doubtless got rather upset. As ever, he doubtless sought the wise Council of his mentor Roger Evans. Now I've no idea what Roger would have told him, but it was probably something rather like this "Now listen Bobby, I already told you that Rog T is a genius and he's quite right, it is rather dull. Now listen, why Rog T is such a marvellous blogger is because he can be quite funny. He uses all of the tools of the trade, Irony, Sarcasm and Fantastical situationalism to illustrate his points. And don't censor the comments, use them to your advantage to display your sparkling wit".
If ever you want to cut the mustard, you'd do well to listen to him". Now I'll give young Bobby this, he's nothing if not a quick learner. Yesterday we saw the first efforts, using Roger's wise advice.
http://robertrams.wordpress.com/2011/04/20/council-tax-mistake-isn%E2%80%99t-an-argument-against-privatisation/#comment-27
You can read it for yourself and see that the Kremlinspeak is largely gone. Best of all his comment in reply to Mrs Angry is an effort of supreme wit and irony. I suspect it may even be the work of the Great Roger Evans himself. Check this out
-----------------------------------------------
robertrams says:
Theresa,
You will be pleased to know that there is a skilled One Barnet team in place to make sure all the contracts are watertight.
-----------------------------------------------
Now anyone who has followed the Metpro Scandal, the Catalyst Scandal or knows anything about the background to the IT system which caused the cock up, will know that Councillor Rams is what is known in the trade as "having a laugh". As being a humourless dolt is essentail to being a successful Twat, it is impossible for him to keep the title of Barnets Biggest Twat. Don't worry though, the Barnet Eye team have already started the search for his replacement.
You will be pleased to know that there is a skilled One Barnet team in place to make sure all the contracts are watertight.
-----------------------------------------------
Now anyone who has followed the Metpro Scandal, the Catalyst Scandal or knows anything about the background to the IT system which caused the cock up, will know that Councillor Rams is what is known in the trade as "having a laugh". As being a humourless dolt is essentail to being a successful Twat, it is impossible for him to keep the title of Barnets Biggest Twat. Don't worry though, the Barnet Eye team have already started the search for his replacement.
Clarification for the rather dim and humourless : Any references to the opinions of Roger Evans regarding the intellectual prowess of the author of this blog (or anything else) is purely made up for purposes of your entertainment. Whilst both Roger Evans and myself are proud members of the League of Rogers, I'd like to state that we have at no time discussed Councillor Robert Rams, his intellectual prowess, his policy on libraries or whether he's a twat.
P.S - Roger Evans has another blog called Get Selected. He offers advice to women on how to get selected as Candidates. I'd like to suggest that he takes Mrs Angry and VickiM57 under his wing, as I think they have the potential to be the best 2 councillors in Barnet. I don't know if he helps Socialists, but if he does, then I can think of no better candidates in London.
P.P.S. - I also noticed that Councillor Ramsbottom referred to Mrs Angry her "alleged" first name. Is this a Brian Colemanesque "We've got your number" type of threat?
P.P.P.S - Lets see if young Sheepsjacksie is "man enough" to moderate my comment on his post
Rog T says: Your comment is awaiting moderation.
My Dearest Robert,
Does that team contain the tooth fairy? I trust you are familiar with how the “skilled One Barnet Team” have administered the Metpro contract, the Catalyst contract etc.
As to the “one person making a human error”. I trust you are aware that a well designed IT system should have what are called maker/checker controls to prevent such single points of failure.
-----------------------------Does that team contain the tooth fairy? I trust you are familiar with how the “skilled One Barnet Team” have administered the Metpro contract, the Catalyst contract etc.
As to the “one person making a human error”. I trust you are aware that a well designed IT system should have what are called maker/checker controls to prevent such single points of failure.
Enjoy your bank holiday !
Ha! I nearly fainted with shock a. that my comment was printed and b. that there was a response, no matter how daft. And of course Mrs Angry has mentioned the MetPro issue in her response, so let's see if that appears.
ReplyDeleteWhat a cheeky monkey, trying to get on first names basis with Mrs A. Actually Robert, if I may be so bold, my full name is actually Mrs F*cking Angry.
In his blog on AV, Rambo states, "I was always told ‘if it ain’t broke don’t fix it’..." obviously not applicable to Museums.
ReplyDeleteSheepsjacksie!!lol.. This site just gets better..
ReplyDeleteRobert "sheepsjacksie" Rams PMSL .
ReplyDelete