Families often struggle to cope with the stresses and strains of such an experience. No one can easily cope with such pressure. Relationships suffer, siblings are relatively neglected (and if they complain are made to feel guilty), finances and working life can often also suffer, leading to further stress and worry. Parents have to support their sick children, but are often in need themselves. There is no magic wand, but there are organisations who can help to ease the burden. One such organisation is Noah's Ark Childrens Hospice. They are a small local charity, working to help life-limited children or young people, and their families, living within the communities of Enfield, Barnet, Camden, Haringey and Islington.
They provide all manner of services and support to families with terminally sick children and have recently acquired land in Byng Road, Barnet for a purpose built Hospice. Much of what they do is family support, respite and assistance with the praticalities of such a situation (which can all be too much for people going through such a traumatic experience). Like many small local charities, they receive scant funding from government for this important work and rely on the generosity of local people.
The charity was this years Barnet Mayoral Charity, having been selected by Mayor Tony Finn as one of his two charities. Being selected as a Mayoral charity raises the profile of projects and can be a major help in raising funds. There are many ways local charities can benefit from fundrasing activities. One way that we can all make a difference is to leave a bequest in our last will and testament. My dearly departed mother did this and as a result, I've realised what a fantastic thing it is to do.
She didn't specify which charities should benefit and suggested that her children choose ones to which they had a personal attachment. Recently her solicitor wrote out all of the cheques and we have been distributing them. I have five brothers and sisters and we chose a whole range of different beneficiaries.
For me it was an easy choice (if such things can ever be easy). As my big sister Valerie works as a hospice nurse in the USA, I know exactly how challenging the work is. The Noah's Ark Childrens Hospice seemed a perfect choice. As it was the Mayors Charity, I contacted Councillor Finn and yesterday had a visit from our esteemed Mayor when he collected the cheque on their behalf. We had a good chat about the work of the hospice and why he chose it. I explained how my mother had been a successful businesswoman. She had a stroke late in 2000 and after that had been virtually housebound. She'd always supported a wide range of charities and felt that having had a successful career, she should give something back to the community. Myself, my brothers and sisters all supported this decision. Councillor Finn asked if I could write a few words about my mother, so he could say a few words when he handed over the funds. Here's what I wrote :-
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Laurie & Celia Tichborne moved to Mill Hill in1948 and set up a crash repair business called Mac Metals Ltd in Bunns Lane Works, Mill Hill shortly after. They ran the business successfully until retirement in 1984. Laurie passed away in 1987, Celia passed away in August 2008. As they had an extremely happy and rewarding life in Mill Hill, raising six children and running a successful business, they both supported many local charities. Upon her passing Celia made a substancial bequest in her will for the benefit of charities chosen by her children. The family were pleased to choose Noah's Ark Childrens Hospice for the fantastic work it does supporting terminally ill children and their families. We wish Noah's Ark Hospice the greatest success in their project to build a new hospice in Byng Road.
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There are many reasons why leaving a bequest is a great thing to do, especially to local charities. As well as the obvious good which it does for the community, it is also extremely tax efficient. When you draw up your last will and testament and you assess your financial situation and that of your beneficiaries, ask yourself this. Is there any scope for helping a few of the people in society who really need it ? If there is, then why not write a bequest. It doesn't have to be huge, for many local charities, a couple of hundred pounds would make a big difference. As for most of us, the biggest asset when we pass away is our home, consider whether say 1% of this would be missed by your beneficiaries. If your house is worth £250,000 then that would be £2,500, and that could make a huge difference. Would your children/ relatives really miss £2,500 if they got a cheque for £247,500?
Oh and on a slightly more cheerful note, you don't have to die to donate to Noah's Ark. You can click right here for the details on how to make a donation right now :-
http://www.noahsarkhospice.org.uk/howtodonate.htm
And one final note, sadly all of the money bequested by my mother has been divvied up and donated.
An important post Rog. Bequests make a real difference to charities.
ReplyDeleteIt is also vital that everyone makes a will. If you don't, half of anything you leave will go to the taxman and the rest will be divided according to law, which might not be what you would choose.
Your mother's decision, to specify an amount to be left, but let her children choose the causes, was lovely I think, partly because it allowed you a chance to share in her kindness after her death and partly because it means that you can look into which charities are most in need and also well run.
Even if you do not want to leave a bequest, donations to charity in lieu of funeral flowers can also make a big difference to many charities.
This is indeed a very worthy cause: some close friends of mine lost a child after many years of illness and their dreadful loss affected everyone who knows them: there is surprisingly little support available to parents in this terrible situation, and I am sure that Noah's Ark will go a long way towards meeting this need.
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