How does Barnet's favourate Oik Celebrate ?

I feel honoured. Dave Hill at the Guardian called me an Oik today !!!! OK, well he didn't actually call me an Oik, he said that he thinks that Brian Coleman thinks that I'm an Oik. I've always wanted to be called an Oik by the Guardian, it's sort of a badge of honour for an ageing punk rocker such as myself. As to being thought of as an Oik by Brian Coleman? I've absolutely no idea if it's true or not, it's probably just a nasty rumour, but one of his Tory buddies once told me that "when you were getting drunk and listening to the Sex Pistols, Brian Coleman was singing in the choir at his local church and helping old ladies across the street" or words to that effect. I took it as a great compliment and I'm sure it was meant as such.

It seems that the local Tories are obsessed with the idea that I don't like old Ladies. I've no idea where they got this idea from. In fact, the recent conversations I've had with the various old Ladies I know in Mill Hill, seems to suggest that they actually quite like me. At least three saw me at mass and said "I saw you on the news, your Mum would have loved that". Strangely they all added "Mind you she'd have made you wear a suit, have a shave and take those silly sunglasses off" (or words to that effect). Given the hours I've put in campaigning for the retention of Sheltered Housing Wardens, I think my record of caring for Old Ladies stands up rather well compared to our local Tories.

Anyway, a few people have said that, having taken a few potshots at Brian Coleman for his champagne celebration to celebrate losing his standards case, it is most unfair of me, because I didn't give any details of how I celebrated. Did I have any champagne? Did I hire a swanky restaurant for all my supporters? Actually I did what I do every Thursday evening. It was my good mate, big Paul's turn to drive (yup his name is Paul and he's big). He picked me up at 8:30 and we went and played 5-a-side football for an hour. Then we went to the Three Hammers pub and I drank three pints of Guinness with the rest of the boys I play footie with. At 11:30pm I went home and my wife said "Oh, I thought you may be a bit later because you'd be celebrating". I responded "Celebrate? We lost 7-5?" I'm a rotten loser, you know.

It sort of reminded me of a commercial for lager a few years ago, where a team wins the FA cup, but the picture of the dressing room is one of misery as they have to drink Champagne. They then cut to the losers dressing room where they are all having a great time because, as they lost they can drink beer.

Anyway, have a great Friday night and happy Jewish New Year to you all. I'm off out for a Curry.