Wednesday 30 November 2022

The Wednesday Poem - Please Myself & The Barnet Cultural Round Up

Wednesday is the day when we focus on the cultural life of the Borough of Barnet. We give you our pick of forthcoming events etc. But before that we love to publish a poem on a Wednesday. I've just acquired a new CD player, my old one broke down before lock down. I've been playing some old CDs and cathcing up with some old songs by my band. I'd forgotten just how good some sounded. The numbers we are doing now are all new. One that stands out is 'Please Myself', an Allen Ashley composition. It is a great song and possibly the favourite lyrics Allen wrote for the band. 

We posted a live video of this when we played at The Midland Hotel. The sound quality left a bit to be desired, but this was Allen performing with the False Dots at our raucous best!


Please myself

All you trolls and haters, with your messages and spam

You won’t say things to our faces, coz your only half a man

All you commentators, trying to set the news

Have you heard the latest, no one’s listening to you



We don’t need your adulation, we are just our own creation

You won’t find us in the mainstream we’ve been hived off to the slipstream

We’ve been struck off all your playlists whilst running from the bailiffs

I may be hard of hearing but I’ve never heard you cheering

But I did the whole thing just to please myself

Please myself!


All you spinning doctors, with your data and your claims

Spinning words to fit your meaning making language just a game

All you corporations turning workers into clones

Writing algorithmic profiles set to fill the sky with drones



Smily Dick and Jesus Rabbit you’ve got one chance you’d better grab it

Or you’ll never kick the habit of trashing things you couldn’t dream of achieving

I’ve stopped watching programs, I won’t vote by phone

Catch us in the margins making shows up of our own

All you fashionistas on your Sponsored chatty shows

Brashly lacking substance just the emperors new clothes


And now onto our cultural roundup.

A great way to see in the new year

A wonderful pre Xmas gig in Barnet

Fancy an Xmas Panto? Check out The Grinche's Xmas Adventure at the Bull Theatre, Barnet

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