Rock and Roll Stories #16 - An exhilarating life of hanging around bored out of your mind!

Charlie Watts of the Rolling Stones was once asked what it was like playing rock and roll for twenty five years in a band. He replied that he'd spent twenty years hanging around and five years playing in a band. 

The only thing that he got wrong was that you spend far longer hanging around waiting. We will be doing this again this week. On Sunday (17th November) the False Dots will play at The Dublin Castle for our album launch. Our schedule for the day

Soundcheck

Falsedots 12.30-1pm.

Nice Men 1pm -1.30pm

Metropolitan Elite - 1.30pm-2pm

Set Times

Whelligan - 2.30pm 3pm

Nice Men - 3.10 pm-3.55pm

Falsedots - 4.10pm-5pm

I'll probably leave my home in Mill Hill around 11am, and  it will take around 30 mins to break down our gear and get out, although we'll have a drink and a chat with fans after. We'll probably get home around 7pm, so it's eight hours hanging around etc for a 55 minute set. 

So what's it like on tour.  Back in January 1982, the band embarked on a tour of Scandinavia. These were the dates

13th January, Karsbygarden,  Norseborg  - Stockholm

15th January, The Underground club, Stockholm

16th January, Pub Bastun, Aland, Finland

19th January, Tumba Gymasium, Stockholm

20th January, Alby, Stockholm

Me on the ferry to Sweden in 1982

When we left the UK, there was a massive blizzard. Our tour van broke down in Bunns Lane in the ice, so we had to make some panicky re-arrangments. The ferry was also cancelled due to the bad weather, and we were put up in a snobby hotel, courtesy of Tor Line. That set the tone. We got a free dinner and drinks courtesy of them. It was a good laugh, but meant we couldn't rehearse for our first gig. 

Our set was around an hour, so we spent over a week in Scandinavia and played for around five hours. It was an education. You are cooped up with people at close quarters that you don't actually know too well. It was -20 degrees in Stokcholm when we arrived. Beer was around five times the cost of the UK, except in Aland, which was duty free and actually cheaper. As entertainment, we spent most of the time winding each other up. 

There was no internet or satellite TV and the local TV was in Swedish. As we were doing the tour on a mega tight budget, we were staying at the flats of friends, apart from in Aland, where we slept in sleeping bags in the club we played. I rather suspect that Charlie Watts had a more luxurious experience on Stones tours. When we travelled to Aland, there was an amazing Smorgasbrod on the ferry. Every food you could imagine and as much as you wanted. . This was one of the highlights, as we'd not really eaten too much on the. At the venues we got fed, but elsewhere we just had to sort ourselves out. We went to a couple of clubs on the days we weren't playing, but it was mostly just sitting around chatting, reading. The non gigging days were the worst. We'd organised the tour ourselves, so made no provision for entertaining ourselves in the free time. As 18/19 year old with no experience of such things it was a shock. We ended spending quite a few hours writing songs, as there wasn't anything else to do. 

I can remember sitting in a flat in Farsta in Stockholm chatting to our bassplayer Paul Hircombe. He said "Now I get why all musicians are junkies". Alleviating the boredom is crucial. When I next saw my Dad, he asked how the tour had gone. I said "It was the best week of my life, but also the most boring". He told me that his experience flying bombers for the RAF was the same. He gave me a few tips along the line of "Take some cards next time". I'd lived in Stockhom for a few months before the tour, so I'd done the tourist sights. The other boys went out exploring on our days off, I couldn't really be bothered. 

On the gig days, we'd be rounded up at around 2pm, taken to the gig, we'd soundcheck and then hang around until our show at around 10pm. We were friends with the Gagget Band, who supported us, so we'd watch them and we'd also chat to the punters. Quite a few of the Swedish fans were amazed that we were so approachable, but it's always been a big part of our ethos to make the effort. The alternative was siiting in a small room backstage for hours on end. At venues we'd insist on a rider of some beers, so we'd have a few cans, but it's not clever to get bladdered before the show, so we'd not go mad. 

Perhaps the best time was after the shows, when we could relax. All of the shows were pretty good, apart from Tumba Gymnasium, where the PA blew up after three songs and the gig was abandoned. The venue was a large school hall with no atmosphere at all. Craig and Mark were already moaning about it before the PA blew up. It was quite demoralising after three good gigs. The final night at Alby was quite emotional. We'd had such an experience and we were returning and we had no gigs lined up. 

We travelled back by coach and ferry, we'd only taken guitars and borrowed amps from the support band, as the van had blown up. We got back to Victoria coach station and found a cafe nearby. I'd called my sister who'd picked us up. Craig's Dad came and picked him and Mark up. I sat there with Paul, who was only sixteen at the time. What we hadn't realised was the cafe was a Christian drop in centre. A rather attractive lady in her 40's took a shine to Paul and offered to educate him in the ways of the world, when she learned we were musicians returning from tour. It was quite hilarious, who'd have thought a Christian drop in centre would be a pick up joint! I got home, having had the time of my life, but masssively in debt. When we got back, it was a surreal experience. We'd only been gone a week or so, but it felt like a lifetime. We'd realised what we were doing wrong. I loved the experience and wanted to do it again ASAP. Sadly, it didn't work out that way and it was December 1985 before we played abroad again.

When I was home, I can remember running a bath and staring at the ceiling and wondering if times would ever be as good again. 

Who knows, if our album launch goes well..... But we are not 18 now