As ever, in the tradition of Barnet blogs, we start with a joke, this week courtesy of Dad Joke master Robert Wilkinson
In a surprising announcement, Head & Shoulders have decided to discontinue their popular anti-dandruff shampoo line. The decision left many scratching their heads.
And on to the local music round up! This week, we see my band, The False Dots hosting a Ska night with Lee Thompson and DJ Rebska at The Builders Arms in Barnet. The pub has been under threat following a massive redevelopment scheme next door. The band and Lee are big fans of the pub, so we thought we'd get together and put on a night, to help them get through the current problems and to introduce a few new customers. If it goes well, we might well do it again.
We are blessed with a fair few venues in the London Borough of Barnet. This weekly feature is dedicated to them and to get as many people out as we can to watch local gigs. It is very much 'use it or lose it'. Whether it's our gig or any of the others, make sure you get along.
I was really disappointed with Barnet Council. This week, they released a video promoting Arts in Barnet. There was absolutely nothing about our local music scene. They clearly paid a company a lot money to put this together and they really did no homework at all. When I have a spare moment, I am going to make my own video to do the job properly. This is a scandalous waste of money and shows just how out of touch with the Borough the current administration are. The video is at the bottom, please have a look and tell me if I am wrong. I was most surprised there was no mention of our amazing local festivals such as The Mill Hill Music Festival and The East Barnet Festival.
Gigs? The holy grail for most musicians. When you first pick up a guitar, a harmonica or drumsticks, you dream of playing in front of a crowd. Sure, being in a studio can be fun occasionally, but we all want to be on a big stage with thousands of people singing along with our songs. For my band, The False Dots, gigs have really been the life blood of the band. Along the way, I've been given some great advice and learned a quite a few tricks. What amazes me is how much time bands spend learning songs and how little effort many put into actually preparing a show.
When I was still in the formative stages of putting a band together, in truth, just thinking about it, I bumped into Ian Dury in Camden Town. I think I was about 15-16. I was in a cafe and Ian walked in, I realised that it was too good an opportunity to miss. If the great Ian Dury could take us under his wings, then that would be a massive leg up the ladder. As I an slurped his cuppa, I approached him and the conversation went like this.
Me: "Hi Mr Dury, we're putting a band together, could you give us some advice".
Ian scowled a bit, clearly not wanting to be bothered and said "Have you done any gigs?"
I replied "No"
He replied "Have you actually got any instruments?"
I replied "We'll I'm borrowing my sisters Columbus guitar".
He then said "Well, get yourself a guitar, play some gigs and now **** off and leave me alone".
I was rather embarrassed, I'd made a bit of a tit of myself. Seeing my crestfallen look as I trudged off, He then added "Listen son, take it seriously, always give it big, if you want to get on, you have to make people know they've seen a show". My mate, who was with me smirked and took the mickey out of my humiliation, winding me up about being told to "**** off" by Ian Dury. But I took the advice seriously. (I wrote a song about the incident, called Channelling Ian Dury, which we will be playing at the Builders Arms in New Barnet on Saturday from 8pm - it's free to get in!).
Once we got things together, Hank Marvins son Paul joined the band. We got to rehearse in Hank's private studio. As I was the guitarist, Hank gave me some advice and was pretty supportive. He told me that catchy simple riffs were actually more effective than super complicated ones. But the advice he gave me about gigging was even more important. There were two things that stuck out. The first was about how you looked "Always make an effort, don't look like you are a member of the audience or you've just turned up after a day on the building site. Wear good shoes and have a trademark distinctive look". Hank explained how his glasses had become his trademark, and how Buddy Holly inspired this. The other thing he told me was a technical advice. He said "When you are doing gigs and the soundman doesn't know you, help him. Choose a first song where the instruments all come in seperately. That will give him a chance to get a balance. Many bands try and start with a bang. As the engineer is still trying to sort out the levels, this usually means it sounds awful!". This is a lesson I've learned. The band always start with a song that allows a soundman to get a balance. We currently use our slow reggae dub song Wacky Races. It works well, this is us playing it at Fabwick last year.
The next great influence in our gigging career was Alan Warner of the Foundations. Alan engineered and produced our early demos and became a life long mate. Alan gave us lots of brilliant advice. The best bit was that we should enjoy gigs. He said "You see so many bands that are terrified, they look scared to death. If one of them makes a mistake, they all scowl and restart the song, only do that if it all falls apart and make a joke of it, even if you are privately furious with your band mates. People want to be entertained".
Since those heady days in the late 1970's, I've done a few gigs! I've picked up a few tips of my own. The most important thing to me is to engage the audience. If you are doing a small gig, look at the people in the audience and work out how to get their attention. Always say who you are. You are "not just another band". Another important thing is to go with the flow. See what is working and what isn't. A successful career is built on the audience going home happy, not you feeling you gave a wonderful performance. Give them something to take home and tell their mates about. If you can convince the audience that you are worth watching and if they come back, they will have a good time you are on the way to building an audience.
The final bit of advice is to look at your set. The biggest mistake bands make is trying to make the live song sound like the recording. You should make your recordings as good as you possibly can, so they get played. When you play them live, they have to work in a live context. The dynamics of songs is different. The best live songs are ones with choruses we can all join in with, breaks we can all clap along with and moments that get people's attention. I've always tried as hard as I can to write songs that do this. You also have to help the audience. If you play original songs, as The False Dots do, you have to bring people back a few times to get them to a point where they know the set, so give them a hand, tell them where to clap hands, join in on the Ooh Aahs, and give them a clue as to the background of the song.
Although The False Dots have not 'made it' as a chart band, we are a very successful grassroots band and people always show up to watch us. Come along on Saturday night and find out why!
Lets start by saying I am not medically qualified, I am not offering medical advice, I am just sharing my personal expereince and what works for me. Always see someone who knows what they are talkning about before making medical decisions. Regular readers will know I've had a few medical challenges in the last few years. Back in 2011, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I've always tried to look after myself, I played football until I was 60, I had to give up when my ankle gave up the ghost and I couldn't run on it. I hate not playing, and this lead to a gain in weight. Last year, my blood sugar levels were diagnosed as pre diabetic and rising. My weight had ballooned to a pound short of eighteen stone. I'd been drinking too much, not exercising and eating too many curries.
In some ways both my cancer diagnosis and this latest news had a positive effect on my life. In both cases, I took a long, hard look at my lifestyle and in both cases I made adjustments. When I was diagnosed with cancer, I read up on cancer and discovered an 'anti cancer diet'. Did this work? Well having been diagnosed at age 49 in 2011, I managed to put off having a radical prostatectomy until 2023. Was this down to the diet? I have no idea, but I do know it gave me a positive mental attitude and made me feel as if I was in charge of the process to some degree. I based my lifestyle changes on a book called Anti Cancer: A new way of life, which is brilliant. It has a lot of lifestyle changes and I took many on board.
In 2023, when I had my prostate removed, to some extent, I slipped back into pre cancer bad habits. This combined with not being able to exercise for a while after the operation, no football as an incentive to get fit and a general mental malaise lead to the weight gain and loss of fitness. The kick up the backside in November was necessary. Since then I've been going to the gym 3-4 times a week, and doinga 20+4 diet 2-3 days a week. My weight has dropped to 16 st 2lbs. For the first time since I stopped working in cenrtal London in early 2017, I started seriously rowing, doing 10km rows. I got my time down to 46,18, which is not bad ( I used to do it in 36.30 in my late forties, but that took three years to achieve). All was going swimmingly. Then the week before last, I woke up and when I tried to walk to the loo, my knee nearly gave way below me. I was in agony. I could hardly walk. In all the years of playing football, I'd never had such a pain in my knee. I started icing it, putting anti inflammatory gels on and resting it. This was most unwelcome, as I felt I was just making progress at the gym. After a couple of days, it eased slightly. I got back to the gym, doing light cycling. It hurt but was managable. I felt very frustrated. It wasn't clearing up properly. What could I do?
Good question? I was at a bit of a loss. I also noticed that my wrists, especially my right wrist which I broke playing football when I was 25 were very sore. Playing guitar was irritating them, which was really annoying. Given that I play in a band, this was truly worrying. After a light session in the gym, I was sitting in the sauna feeling a deep sense of woe. I was thinking back to 2011 and the despair I felt when I was diagnosed with cancer. If I can't exercise and I can't play guitar, I won't get better and I won't enjoy life. What is the point? Then I recalled the Anti Cancer diet. One of David Servan-Schreiber, the author's key points was that inflammation drives cancer growth, therefore taking natural anti inflammatories would slow the growth of cancer. It is worth noting that the book does not advocate miracle cures. It is simply about making your body and mind as resiliant as possible, so that working with your medical team, you are in the best position to deal with your cancer. The book talks about the 'bell curve' of life expectancy and how you want to be on the right hand side of this. It explains that if you are given six months to live by the doctor, that is the average time someone in your position will live. Some will live three months, some will live two years. What you want to do is be on the two years side of the bell curve and taking positive action is the one thing you personally can do. In my case, this was dropping dairy, drinking pomegranite juice and taking turmeric, as well as ditching processed foods. In the case of turmeric, it is a powerful anti inflammatory agent.
So I sat there and thought "I really should get back on the turmeric, if these pains are caused by inflammation, then maybe it will help". So last week, we got some turmeric tablets and I started back taking them. To my amazement, within a couple of days, the pain in my knee and wrists had abated. It is still there, but it is a dull ache, which is manageable. Yesterday, I was back in the gym on the rowing machine. I did a 10km row for the first time since my knee blew up. I did a very moderately paced row at 54.45 mins deliberately, as I wanted to 'test the waters'. This morning, there was no reaction.
I'm not going to recommend any brands, it may all be a total coincidence, but for the first time in a few weeks, I am feeling positive. It isn't a 'miracle cure', but I can get on with things. Given that I've got a gig with the band on Saturday night at The Builders Arms in Barnet, this has to be a very good thing!
I'm actually really looking forward to this gig. The band are doing two sets, for the first time for several decades. It gives us a chance do stuff we don't normally play. There will be two rather special, for different reasons, songs played. The first will be a tribute to Rick Buckler, drummer of The Jam, who recently passed away. We are not a covers band, but Graham Ramsay, our drummer was keen to pay tribute to the guy who got him into music and drumming. It's not Ska, but I am sure that our loyal fans and the punters in the pub will forgive us! The second, is a reworking of one of the songs that The False Dots played at our first gig. It is called "The Electric Ballroom" and is based on our song Reality Ballroom, but updated. It is the story of a rather unfortunate incident at the venue, back in 1978, when The Fall played at the venue. Our esteemed trumpet player, Tom Hammond will sing both of these numbers.
Here's a business idea for anyone with a few million quid burning a hole in your pocket. Give me your dosh and I'll set up the perfect pub chain for you. Now I won't give you all of my ideas here, you'll have to pay for those, but I will explain a key aspect of the menu. The sandwiches that will be on sale. Now I'm someone who has been going into pubs for a very long time. In that time, I've had a lot of sandwiches and what amazes me is that the quality has simply got worse every year year for about 40 years. I suspect that the pinnacle of pub sandwiches on London was probably around 1985. This is a purely subjetive view, based on the pubs I frequented, but all of the best sandwiches I had were made then.
So lets start with a few rules. A decent sandwich has to be made on the spot, with fresh bread. If it is unsliced bread, even better. In our family, we called such sandwiches doorstops. They were never cut into triangles. The bread was white and crusty and delicious. The next element is the butter. This must be proper butter. I like Lurpack unsalted personallty, but there are plenty of other brands that are good, or at least acceptible. Any pub that went to the trouble of getting that right, rarely went wrong. The next element is the filling. I loath gunge in a sandwich, which makes it soggy. I far prefer sandwiches that do not have mayonaise on them. So what is acceptable?
Mature cheddar cheese, I can accept it with pickle, but if the cheese is proper it doesn't need it.
Thick cut ham with English or at a stretch Dijon Mustard. Thin, watery supermarket ham is not acceptable.
Sausage. This can be served with HP sauce or Dijon Mustard. The sausage must be freshly cut and hot.
Bacon. I don't think a good bacon sandwich needs anything. It must be hot bacon.
Falafel with tomato, onion and garlic sauce. The falafels must be hot and I will break my no gunge rule.
Smoked Salmon, with a dash of lemon and pepper.
That is really it. I am not a fan of wraps. Why put good food in something that tastes like cardboard? As for french sticks, generally I find them to be a bit stale. The Three Horseshoes in Letchmore Heath used to do amazing sausages in French bread back in the 1980's. We went their specially for them. They were massive Cumberlands that sat in a sausage oven staring at you. They also had all of the above options, apart from the Falafels, which I only had once at a pub in town. It was the best sandwich I had there. It was delicious, but it went when the Landlord went.
I don't really like garnish with sandwiches. Just a plate with the sarnie on it. The modern trend is to put masses of different fillings in, which generally don't compliment each other. If you use good ingredients, you don't need lots of other stuff in there.
I think that a pub that sold proper, decent, filling, fresh sandwiches would do well, especially at lunch times. If I am in a rush, I want a tasty, filling meal that I don't have to mess around with. A good sandwich goes very well with a pint, but for reasons I don't understand, the numpties that run pubs simply don't get this. Our local pubs in Mill Hill don't even seem capable of making a basic sandwich. What is wrong with them?
I've been self employed for most of my life. Back in 1991, I took some advice from a financial advisor, who told me that it would be 'a good idea to set up a pension plan'. He explained how puttin away around 15% of my salalry for the next 35 years would mean that I could retire when I was sixty five with a nice guaranteed income every month. At the time, I was twenty nine and it seemed to be a very long way away. Now I am sixty two, it looms large. I took his advice and invested in various funds, which place money in things like shares. I have to be honest and admit I have never really checked to see if his suggestions were sound. More fool me. I have what seems like a reasonable sum in the pot, but as I've not really thought about retiring, I have not given it the attention that maybe I should, not that I'd really have a scooby what I am doing.
But here I am. Two years ago, I had a bit of a cancer scare. I love what I do, but assuming I've got somewhere between ten and twenty years of active life, how much of it do I want to spend sitting in reception of my studio? I sort of had an idea that I'd get everything sorted by the age of sixty seven, which is five years time. What this means, I don't know. I actually love working in music, playing in a band and chatting to our customers. But the other side of this, is that I have to make plans for the business beyond my tenure. The pandemic radically changed the scenery in music. It changed a profitable business into a very tricky one. The various tax hikes of the Starmer government and ULEZ courtesy of the Mayor or London have been extremely difficult, saying nothing of Vladimir Putin's gift of massive hikes in energy prices. If this wasn't difficult enough, now Donald Trump has unleashed chaos on the worlds stock markets. I have no idea how this has affected my personal pension, but if we assume stock markets have dropped by 10%, then I've lost 10% of my pension pot. If I was to take a guess that I'd have to live off my pension for ten years after I retire, then that means I have to work another year. This is assuming the chaos stabilises tomorrow. If Trump plunges the world into recession, then heaven only knows what the effect will be.
Donald Trump may be the bigliest genius ever to walk the face of the earth. His policies may well issue in a new golden age in the USA (something I doubt personally), he may end up with his ugly mug on the side of Mount Rushmoor, but as far as I am concerned, as someone who has worked hard all my life, never claimed benefits, been sensible and done the right thing, he's in the process of driving a horse and cart through my plans for the end phase of my life and I just wish he'd F*** O**. Unlike ordinary people, he will get a copper bottomed pension as a president (rather like all of our MP's etc do).
I have a lot of sympathy for the younger generation. They have been well and truly shafted with tuition fees and student loans. I wonder how many will actually have any cash to put into pensions? Whatever my problems are, they will fade into insignificance with the mess my generation is bequeathing. I do wonder how many people who voted for Trump and re approaching retirement, to MAGA will end up with a nasty shock when they retire?
"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone". This was one of the most famous quotes from the New Testament. I recall one particularly fiery priest, who used to give rather interesting sermons at The Sacred Heart Church (especially so when he did the evening masses and had a tot whiskey with his lunch). He suggested that what Jesus was really saying was "You lot are a bunch of self righteous hypocrites and your ten times worse than this woman, who you are trying to condemn". He then looked at the congregation and said "I bet there's a few of you here who'd have cast the first stone" and then berated us all telling us that Jesus wasn't talking to the Scribes and Pharisees, he was talking to us lot, because we are just as bad as them. I think I was about nine at the time. I didn't actually know what adultery was. I was quite perturbed by the sermon. Was I really as bad a hypocrite as the scribes and pharisees?
As often happened on a Sunday, we'd meet relatives at mass and Dad would ask them back to our house for tea and biscuits. On that particular day, the relly in question was Uncle Mickey Fanning, his wife and his lovely daughters. Mickey was a great guy. He was my mums first cousin. He'd been raised in Dublin, got a degree and moved to London. He was an accountant by trade. He was not only the accountant for The Sacred Heart, he was also the accountant for the Irish Rugby Union. Mickey was absolutely mad about Rugby. Mickey only had daughters, and always enjoyed chatting with me, as I think he'd have liked a son. As he always made time to chat, I was fond of him. I mentioned about what the Priest said in his sermon. Mickey burst out laughing. Mickey said "He's one to talk, I took him to watch England play Ireland in the five nations last week, and I can assure you that he'd be first one to cast a stone at the Ireland players, when they missed a tackle. Mickey then explained that this particular priest was not only a big Ireland Rugby fan, who still played occasionally, he was perhaps the most fierce and harsh critic of anyone who wasn't 'up for it'. A week later, the said priest came up to St Vincents. They would do this every week, speak to the kids and then say mass. This priest was actually well liked and what he said was interesting. He'd do a little Q&A and often he'd give left field answers which made us think.
When the Q&A started, I asked him about his sermon and casting stones. The message of the Gospel had been that Jesus forgave the woman for her mistake. So my question was this "Father, when Jesus said let he who is without sin, cast the first stone, did it apply to Football and Rugby?". For perhaps the only time, for a few seconds, he was truly stumped. Of course, no one got stoned to death for a mistimed tackle or conceding a penalty, but they certainly got a barrel of vitriol from both fans and their team mates. His answer was actually brilliant. He said "That's a great question. I am the first to shout and complain when Ireland miss a penalty. If I was playing I'd give the player a piece of my mind. But there is a difference. Football and Rugby players are playing a sport and passions run high, the only way you improve is to accept criticism. If you are not giving it your all, then you have to take it on the chin. This is totally different to someone who is being victimised and bullied by a bunch of hypocrites. The poor woman in that gospel, did not go for a beer with the scribes and pharisees after the stoning. When you play a team sport, part of the deal is that you get it in the neck when you don't play well. But no one should be stoned to death for simple human mistakes".
As far as I was concerned, this put the matter to bed. When you watch football, it is OK to berate people when they are not playing well. I extended this to allowing myself to shout at Manchester United players and fans because I don't like them (well apart from my brother and a few mates, but you know what I mean) when I watch City play. There really is no better feeling in the world than watching United fans leave a Derby match early, when they are 5-0 down. They feel the same about us lot. Football is probably the only area of modern life where you can really let your negative feelings out.
But occasionally this throws up a dilemma. Today Manchester City play Manchester United. I will be absolutely delighted if City stuff United. But, and this is a big but, one of my very best mates is a Manchester United fan. His Mum recently passed away. He is very down. I know a United victory would cheer him up no end. How could I be so cruel and heartless as to still want City to win? I mean, there is nothing I'd like more than for him to cheer up, well nothing except a stonking City win.
The sad truth is that when it comes down to it, Fr Sheil was probably right. I am a cruel, heartless hypocrite and I should have compassion for my mate and be cheering on Utd as it would mean the world to him. Sadly, that ain't gonna happen! Come on City! By the way, it may amuse you to hear that Peter Conway, as a follow up to my question asked "Fr, what team do you think Jesus supports?". This was a far easier answer for him. He shot back "Celtic of course, who else could he support?". I totally accepted this at face value, I often wondered whether Rangers fans could be forgiven. I wished I'd asked when I had the chance.
Anyway, as we usually do, we finish with a song that recalls those days. Sunday in the 70's is a song that I particularly like. It was one of the first songs I specifically wrote for myself to sing with the band, as we'd always had a dedicated singers until 2021.
As I do most months, I met my good mate Keith for a pub crawl and a curry on Tuesday. We decided to go for a sojourn around the East End and around what used to be the London Docks. The second pub we went to was a real, old style London boozer, the Turners Old Star. When I first started drinking in pubs in the 1970's, jut about every pub was like this. The pub was the heart of Britain. Now a proper pub is rare enough to warrant a mention in a blog. Pubs like this used to be the heart of communities, but that heart has been ripped out. It is just one example of how, in my lifetime the UK has thrown away a world beating position. As I got the train back, I started to make a list of all of the things that this country has neglected and let whither on vine in my lifetime. If you look at the keyboard warriors on X etc, you'd think that the malaise that is destroying Great Britain is a new thing. Sadly the truth is that we used to be the greatest nation on the planet, now we are a joke, grovelling to deranged US presidents in the hope that they will spare us their wrath. I don't normally use this feature to rant and I didn't intend using this blog to, but as I wrote it, I simply couldn't help myself. Here's a bit of nostalgia that harks back to the days when not everything had been completely screwed up yet
The list is scandalous and shows just how bad both Tory and Labour governments have been
1. Rocket Technology - When I was born in 1962, The UK was one of the worlds leading powers in rocket design. We were developing sophisticated rockets for both military and civilian use. Programs such as the Black Arrow and The Blue Streak system were amongst the most advanced. in the world. Ted Heath's Tory government cancelled Black Arrow in 1971. Wikipedia notes "Prior to the cancellation of Black Arrow, NASA had offered to launch British payloads for free; however, this offer was withdrawn following the decision to cancel Black Arrow."Not the first or the last time we've been shafted by our 'greatest ally'. We are now in the situation where if Putin launched a nuclear strike on the UK, Donald Trump could veto us launching a retaliation. Why? Because Ted Heath decided that our 'greatest allies' would never change their foreign policies.
2. Funny Sitcoms. On Tuesday, when I got back from the pub crawl and the football on TV finished, I was channel hopping. There was a documentary about The Good Life. It wasn't one of my favourite shows, but the documentary was brilliant. I was reminded just how funny Penelope Keith, Paul Eddington, Richard Briers and Felicity Kendall were. How many brilliant sitcoms were there? Porridge, Rising Damp, Dads Army, Are you being Served, Fawlty Towers to name a few. Sure, there were some terrible clunkers, but it was a golden age. A quick trawl through the list of modern ones is pretty stark. Friday night dinner stands out, perhaps the only one which would make a top 20. I genuinely don't think that what is funny has changed. I think that the people who commission light entertainment simply have taken their eye off the ball and are too busy trying to make political points (good and bad) to actually do their day job and make us laugh. The idiots in charge of the BBC have put the corporation in a position, where people resent paying the license fee. Would people be so fed up with the BBC if they actually made decent TV rather than preachy rubbish?
3. Railways. Where to start. The UK more or less invented the concept of railways, and they propelled us into the Industrial Revolution. Following WWII our railways were nationalised and then steadily starved of investment. In the 1960's both Conservative and Labour governments oversaw the closure of many useful routes under the Beeching cost saving scheme. Whereas the Japanese and French both invested heavily in high speed rail, in the UK, motorways and cars were seen as the way forward. British Rail maintained an innovative technical team until privatisation under the Tories in the 1990's. This was broken up and all of the technical innovation we see on the railways in the UK is based on non UK designs. Our railways are expensive, overcrowded and unreliable. Even worse, they now exist to line the pockets of foreign companies that are nationalised entities, such as RATP.
4. Car design. In the 1960's, the UK was awash with innovative car companies. Our car designs were seen as innovative and exciting. Brands such as Jaguar, Rolls Royce, Bentley and Aston Martin were seen as the best of sports car design. As for small cars, Morris Minors and Mini's lead the way in economical family cars. Sadly, the British companies didn't invest, didn't update their quality control and now all UK car production of note is controlled by foreign owners. Sadly the powers that be in the UK threw away our manufacturing industries, laying whole communities to waste. When did this happen? Under the darling of the right, Margaret Thatcher.
5. Good manners. The British were well known for their politeness, good manners and stoic attitude. It was seen as bad form to push in, if there was a queue. People spent their lives apologising to each other. Old Ladies would tell off other people's children in the street when they were naughty. If such a thing happened today, social services and the police would be called. When the bus arrives it is a free for all and no one apologises, even when they know they are wrong. The truth has been replaced with 'my truth' where 'I can do no wrong'. And where did it go wrong? I blame Thatcherism and the mantra that greed is good, you barge your way to the front of the queue and sod everyone else. Harry Enfield invented a charmless character called "LoadsofMoney" and we all now live in his world.
6. Working mens cafe's. When I started work, you'd nip down the cafe for a cuppa and a bacon Sandwich. The cafe's would have dirty paintwork, formica tables, chipped cups and greasy spoons. They were cheap and cheerful. You judged a good cafe by the size of it portions. I can't recall the last time I went into a proper cafe, where the dustmen read their tabloid papers, picked their horses and drank tea. I miss that. Sadly, Tory and Labour governments have made it almost impossible for faamily run small cafe's to thrive. Whilst Sid's cafe has to pay all his taxes, the big multinational chains, you know who I mean, can repatriate all of their profits off shore. Thatcherism saw the demise of long tea breaks and lunches. A sandwich at your desk, whilst you worked was the mantra of the 1980's and it seems that killed the cafe. Small family businesses get no help and no support.
7. Community Pubs. I mentioned this above. This is also squarely down to Margaret Thatcher, who viewed brewery owned pubs as an unfair monopoly. The purpose of pubs was to sell beer for breweries. Pubs were largely male enclaves, where working men drank warm beer and told bad jokes. Snobs like Thatcher hated such places and saw them as hotbeds of communism. She broke up the brewery monopoly and believed that pubs would become more middle class. The pubco's got their greedy hands on them, and soon realised that a closed pub, which can be sold for redevelopment is far more lucrative than an open one selling beer. The only pubs that seem to thrive are not pubs at all, they are Gastro pubs, selling overpriced food and drink, which is usually rather bland and dull. The idea that a pub might thrive just selling beer seems like a throwback to the age of the dinosaurs.
8. Punk Rock. Between 1976 and 1982, the UK music scene was set free from the shackles of large label hegemony by the punk rock explosion and the advent of independent labels. Music venues thrived, we all had a blast, then the industry regained control and strangled it. There are still great bands and great music being made, but the industry has worked very hard to ensure that never again, will they lose control. I believe the government colluded as they knew that angry teenagers were potentially a threat to their power. Sadly, my generation, the punk generation are the worst. All of the decent people started bands, the greedy buggers took power, whilst we were enjoyin g ourselves. That is why I dislike the Boris Johnsons of this world so much. They stole our dreams and ruined it for our kids. The last thing both the Labour and Tories wanted was snotty kids asking why they were so useless.
9. Music Television. Top of the Pops, Supersonic, The Old Grey Whistle test, the Tube, Marc. If you don't know what they are, google them. There was a time when families watched music shows together. We'd all compare notes. Top of The Pops was the gold standard of British Music Television, which is why repeats are shown all of the time. The fools who ran the BBC at the time, did not understand the value in the brand and cancelled it. The sole decent mass media TV show is Jools. It gives artists a chance to play to a new audience. If I ever got my hands on the levers of power, TOTP would be the first thing I brought back. When it was cancelled, it needed a bit of an overhaul, not scrapping. I love the BBC but I must concede it is run by blithering idiots. It only really occurred to me recently that it quite suits the establishment and the powers that be, if our national Broadcaster is controlled by malleable idiots.
10. Local Radio. As I said about TV, the BBC is run by blithering idiots. Nowhere more so than in local radio. Anyone who has followed this blog, will know my views on the way the BBC Bosses have run BBC Radio, especially BBC Radio London. I spent my life loving BBC Radio London in it's various guises. Sadly, the idiots in charge do not understand that the station is not LBC. They have pushed all of the quirky, interesting presenters to the margins. They have instituted a playlist which has completely alienated the younger audience. There was a time when younger listeners would avidly listen to presenters such as Garry Crowley to hear the latest upcoming bands. Sadly, such content has been pushed to the margins, at times when active young people don't listen. Presenters with their ear to the ground musically, such as Robert Elms have had their hours cut and moved to less popular times. Good current affairs presenters such as Eddie Nestor have been given briefs that don't fit their style. I persist out of stubbornness, but it seems that not a day goes by without my kids moaning "why are we listening to this" as yet another boring topic is covered or the playlist selects some unlistenable rubbish.
I have a fantasy that I live in a parallel world. I am in a pub, drinking warm beer, watching decent a British sitcom, based on a modern British Rail Branch Railway line, that I heard about on a Monday morning on the Robert Elms show on BBC Radio London, The people are funny, but have good manners and there is much banter about the latest bands on Top of The Pops, and whether the new generation of Punk Rockers are as good as the Pistols. I've had a bacon sarnie at the cafe next door and the show is on a satellite channel, where the satellite is a British Satellite launched on a Blue Streak rocket. The likes of Nigel Farage blame it all on immigrants. Sadly, he is wrong. The reason the country is in the state it is in, is because the British Establishment threw it all away. Don't blame migrants, the EU or Donald Trump. The sad truth is that it is our own ruling class that have mucked this country up.
