My secret to happiness? I have a very vivid memory of being at St Vincents school and a Priest came up to give us our weekly religious indoctrination. He asked the class "Tell me three things that you could have that would bring you happiness". My hand shot up. I was about eight. The rest of the class nearly wet themselves when they heard my answer "A dog, a pond and my own shed". The Priest admonished me. He told me that such things only brought passing pleasure and what I should do is love Jesus, love God and love the Roman Catholic Church if I wanted to be truly happy. Not for the first, or last time, I had to endure several days of taunting in the playground for being a weirdo.
It may, or may not surprise you to learn that I now have two dogs, two pond and two sheds. I have doubled down on my lifes ambitions! Oh and I am rather fond of Jesus as well, although we are yet to meet up for a couple of beers. I like to think Jesus would come and see the False Dots and approve, if he was passing Camden Town when we were playing at the Dublin Castle. It does say in the Bible that he preferred the more down to earth joints than dining with the hoi polloi of society. I can't really say I blame him.
And yes, I am happy. I haven't always been, but I've managed to find a good equilibrium in life. What is my secret? Here they are.
1. I hold on to my dreams and I always make sure I have something in life to look forward to. It may be little things like meeting a mate for a beer and a curry, a big thing like a holiday or a gig. The thing is, when I'm feeling down, I can look at the calendar and see what nice things are coming up. When I had my cancerous prostate removed, I made sure that we had a holiday lined up for as soon as I could safely fly. It meant that I had something to nice to focus on as I went to theatre
2. I recognise the things of real value in my life. What are these? The people I love. I try and value them and let them know I appreciate having them around.
3.I appreciate the small gifts God gives us that are easy to miss. A beautiful sunset, the Sun's warmth on my bac after a cold winter. The cherry blossom in Spring. The little things that put a smile on your face. If you follow my personal Instagram you'll see all manner of things I snap. I know that not everyone credits God with putting them there for our fun, if you don't that's cool, but I quite like the idea that there is a greater presence that does little things to make us happy occasionally.
4. I try and see the good things in the knock backs I've had in life. Let me give you an example. I was quite devastated by my battle with cancer. However, I now see that it has given me a better appreciation of what I have in life that is good.
5. I recognise the hard work of people who make the world a better place. Yesterday, I saw my surgeon, Professor Christopher Eden, who removed my prostate. Whilst I have faith, I also think it is vital that in life we recognise the absolute hard work and dedication of people who make the world a better place. My recovery is down to having a brilliant surgeon, who works hard at improving his technique. Never forget to appreciate the people who dedicate their life to improving the lives of others. I extend this to all of the people in the NHS etc who I saw and who I didn't see in my journey.
6. I love the joy, excitement and tears of Sport, especially football. Football is a roller coaster, but when its good its brilliant and there is always next season.
7. I actually like myself. I don't deliberately do things that make people sad and I do my best to put a smile on peoples faces. My music and my blog ar vehicles to enable this. I'm not perfect, but I try and be the best version of me that I can.
8. I enjoy my food and drink. Even when I diet, which I have been for six months now, I eat proper fresh ingredients. I'd rather eat a tasty, healthy meal, then skip a meal and be hungry than eat slop that tastes like cardboard and be full. It means there is always some pleasure in the day. And yes I have lost weight!
9. I go to bed and have a sleep when I am tired. Often what we mistake for unhappiness/depression is chronic overtiredness. When I was in my early twenties, I read a book about techniques about sleep, its importance and techniques for falling asleep when your brain is not co-operating. It literallyc hanged my life. When I feel down or depressed, I always try and get some proper sleep, without drink or chemical assistance. You'd be amazed how well it works most of the time. I am not saying that a good nights sleep will cure clinical depression, that would be foolish, but I believe if you manage your sleep properly you are less likely to be susceptible to serious mental health issues.
10. Have love in your life. Don't shut yourself away or cut yourself off from the people you love. If someone is important to you and your relationship is going through a difficult patch, work on it. I am not perfect, I have the Irish gene that bears grudges. The more I let them go, the happier I am.
I hope this is of some help. What are your tips? I should add that for me, having music in life is always a joy. As I mentioned elsewhere, I was recently given a video of The False Dots at The Bald Faced Stag in Burnt Oak, filmed in June 1984. This has given me immense happiness. Here is our version of the Percy Sledge classic "When a man loves a woman". I had almost forgotten how good a singer Venessa Sagoe was. I must say watching this video has brought me great happiness, finally I must add a plug for our forthcoming gig at The Dublin Castle from 2pm on Sun 25th May. We are launching our new single Groovetown.
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