Thursday 3 September 2015

Dear Brian, Please get some professional help before you hurt someone else

The Barnet Eye is getting increasingly worried about the erratic and rather odd behaviour of former GLA member and Barnet Councillor Brian Coleman. We have reached the opinion that this is not a laughing matter and are seriously worried that Mr Coleman may hurt another person (he's already been convicted for attacking and injuring Helen Michael) or himself. Whilst some people may wish harm on people, as a pacifist, I am not going to drop my standards, even for someone like Coleman who assaulted a good friend, at a time when her mother was in the final stages of cancer. Mr Coleman has taken to leaving rather obnoxious tweets about all and sundry, including my mother and the victim of his assault, Ms Michael. To me, this is not the working of a sane, rational mind. Having been convicted once for assault by beating of Helen Michael (admitting his guilt and telling a packed courtroom that the Police CCTV footage was "not as he recalled") surely a sensible course of action would be to forget about Ms Michael and leave her alone. Instead Mr Coleman seems to have invented a complete fantasy world where he was the wronged party. Mr Coleman described his attack on Helen Michael in the following manner on Twitter yesterday

assault ? you mean minor altercation with troll with camera

There was no need for Coleman to be insulting about the victim of his assault. If you have any doubts about the viciousness of Colemans attack, you can view the footage on Colemans favourite newspapers website -  and as you can see it was anything but a minor altercation. Coleman only desisted and ran away when passers by intervened. As to Ms Michael being a Troll, she was working in her business, when Coleman broke the law by parking in a loading bay outside of her cafe. As he had been in charge of the Boroughs parking policy parking, Ms Michael tried to take a picture of him flouting the laws he expected others to follow. This is not Trolling, it is a perfectly reasonable response to abuse of position. 

But it is not only Helen Michael who has to suffer from the ill mannered taunts of Coleman. Prior to this tweet, he launched an unprovoked attack on me in relation to my elderly mothers care. I had written a blog about the meals on wheels service, yet Coleman sought to use twitter to attack me, even though I'd made no mention of him in the piece (TBH I'd almost forgotten he existed). 

Here is my tweet and his response.

  1. Quite why you seem to be proud of your elderly Mother having to rely on meals on wheels when you only lived up the road ....
 Is it normal, sane behaviour to attack the way people for the way they care for elderly relatives? If you do not know the circumstances, surely discreet silence is the sensible option, even if you think people should behave in a different manner. For the record, although my mother had issues with speech and mobility, she was not suffering from dementia. She lived independently until the day she died by choice. She had the option of living with us or any of her other children, but did not want to. She agreed the meals on wheels service with the Council. Her view was that this wasn't charity, she paid for the meals. She didn't want charity and she didn't want to live with other people. Coleman queries why I'm proud my mother "had to rely on meals on wheels". Well yes I am. I am proud because it allowed my mother to live her life the way she wanted to, despite enormous challenges. Despite her failing health, she organised her own care and was perfectly capable of making decisions. We used to make her an evening meal every evening. My mother would insist on paying for this. She was not poor, she was technically a millionaire, following a very successful business career. 

I used to visit my mother every night and share a Guinness or a Whisky with her. The week before she died, I accompanied her on a pilgrimmage to Lourdes (my mother was a Roman Catholic) and we spent a week together. She had a  massive stroke and died the week after we returned. 

It is clear to me from Colemans comments that he was simply trying to attack me in the most hurtful way he could think of. Whilst I was initially quite angry about his comments, I reflected on the psyche of a man who could write such a thing. Such bile breeds all manner of negative thoughts. But the decent thing to do is to look beyond the bile and see what is the route cause. 

It is a matter of record that Brian was relentlessly bullied at school. Many victims of such treatment develop warped characters and seek to lash out and hurt others. In Brians attack on my mother, I see his own insecurity written large. I have a clear conscience with regards to my mother and miss her dearly. As Brians own mother is in her 90's, he clearly feels deeply worried about what the future holds. I suspect that throughout his life, his mother has been the one rock for him to hang on to. In his comments to me, perhaps we see a window into his own lack of self worth and insecurity. I am sure he feels he let his mother down terribly getting arrested, spending the night in jail and getting a criminal record (what decent person wouldn't).

I am sure Brian will read this, in his disposition to the investigator into the standards case I brought against him he announced that he loved reading about himself "all councillors do". So here is a short, open letter to Brian. It is written in a spirit of Christian Charity, something my mother always urged me to display (and to be quite honest, one thing I often let myself down in).

Dear Brian,

As you are no doubt aware, we are not friends and are never going to be. Your actions in assaulting a friend of mine, causing her injury, stress and pain are unforgiveable. That you chose to lie about it only compounds my feelings of antipathy towards you. However you are another thinking, feeling and hurting human being and as the good Lord says, we have to love our enemies. It is clear to me that when you lost your political career, you suffered a majour bereavement. It is also clear to me that you are still in the anger stage of dealing with your loss. As someone who clearly has issues with anger, having lost your career and good name as a result of this personality disorder, I would urge you to seek counselling to deal with your many issues. 

Many of your political friends, such as Jane Ellison and Joan Scannell, have over the years told me that there is a good side to you and that you have gifts to offer. It is clear to me that until you come to terms with your guilt, address your anger and move on, you will be stuck in an ever more self defeating spiral of despair. I am not only worried for you, but worried about what you may do, should you again find yourself in a confrontational situation. As you are now a convicted criminal, you would not be in a position to ask for leniency should a further altercation occur. Your hate filled outpourings on Twitter, clearly show that there are issues to resolve. As an intelligent man, surely you can see that the sooner you deal with these and reconcile yourself to the loss of your political career, the sooner you will move on. My advice to you is to seek professional help and address the issues that are ruining your life.

Roger Tichborne

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