By Laura Stephens,
There
are ‘hidden’ carers across our borough. People who are caring for someone close
to them with dementia without any support.
Today
is National Dementia Carers’ Day (Sunday 10 September) and we’re calling on
carers to share their experiences and asking the public to show their
appreciation for these unsung heroes.
One
of the regular members of Dementia Cafe I run is James Hale (83), from East
Barnet. He cares for his wife, Mollie who was diagnosed with dementia in 2013.
James told me:
“Dementia
has changed both our lives. As Mollie’s condition develops, I have to support
her more and more with daily tasks.
“From
her diagnosis in December 2013, I’ve been her sole carer and found myself doing
everything around the house. It involved a lot of multitasking – very difficult
for a man!”
“Mollie’s
dementia has progressed so much that she can’t stand unassisted now. She
struggles with speech too. But even in the depths of her dementia, I still see
glimpses of her keen mind shine through.
“It’s
fantastic to have a resource like Barnet Dementia Hub nearby. Laura and her
team offer support services across the borough for people like me and Mollie.
It’s been invaluable to us.
“I
love going to the Dementia Café. Of
course, it was much better when Mollie could come too and share in the fun.
“Mollie
was moved to a care home in June. I worry about her, every minute of every day.
“Even
though she can’t attend the service anymore, I still go. I get to talk with
people going through what I am. We do lots of different activities together and
it’s nice to have some time just for me.
“Six
days after Mollie went into a home, I wrote a poem for her. This National
Dementia Carers Day, I hope someone is reading it…”
WISH I COULD SNATCH THAT MONSTER AWAY
by JAMES HALE
by JAMES HALE
I WISH I
COULD SNATCH THAT MONSTER AWAY
IT SEEMS TO SPOIL ALMOST EVERY DAY
THAT MONSTER ALZHEIMER'S IS TO BLAME
IT LURKS WITHIN MY DEAR WIFE'S BRAIN
OH HOW I YEARN FOR THOSE YEARS GONE BY
WHEN I COULD LAUGH AND NEVER CRY
I FEEL GUILTY NOW OF WHAT I HAVE DONE
TO THE GIRL I MARRIED WHO GAVE ME FUN
DEMENTIA MADE ME THROW IN THE TOWEL
SHE IS SAFE WITHIN A CARE HOME NOW
I LOVE HER DEARLY BUT SHE DOESN'T KNOW
MY HEART SINKS WHEN I LEAVE HER AND GO
MOBILITY REGRESSION NOW COMES INTO PLAY
IT S A CRUSHING REALITY I SEE EVERY DAY
OUR HAPPY LIFE IS A THING OF THE PAST
MOLLIES MENTAL REGRESSION IS OH SO FAST
TOO LATE FOR MY DEAR WIFE NOW, BUT PRAY
A CURE FOR DEMENTIA WILL BE FOUND ONE DAY.
OH, HOW I WISH I COULD SNATCH THAT MONSTER AWAY!!
IT SEEMS TO SPOIL ALMOST EVERY DAY
THAT MONSTER ALZHEIMER'S IS TO BLAME
IT LURKS WITHIN MY DEAR WIFE'S BRAIN
OH HOW I YEARN FOR THOSE YEARS GONE BY
WHEN I COULD LAUGH AND NEVER CRY
I FEEL GUILTY NOW OF WHAT I HAVE DONE
TO THE GIRL I MARRIED WHO GAVE ME FUN
DEMENTIA MADE ME THROW IN THE TOWEL
SHE IS SAFE WITHIN A CARE HOME NOW
I LOVE HER DEARLY BUT SHE DOESN'T KNOW
MY HEART SINKS WHEN I LEAVE HER AND GO
MOBILITY REGRESSION NOW COMES INTO PLAY
IT S A CRUSHING REALITY I SEE EVERY DAY
OUR HAPPY LIFE IS A THING OF THE PAST
MOLLIES MENTAL REGRESSION IS OH SO FAST
TOO LATE FOR MY DEAR WIFE NOW, BUT PRAY
A CURE FOR DEMENTIA WILL BE FOUND ONE DAY.
OH, HOW I WISH I COULD SNATCH THAT MONSTER AWAY!!
If
you’ve been diagnosed with dementia, or you’re caring for someone who has,
please get in touch to discuss how the team at Barnet Dementia Hub can support you.
Call: 020 3725 3001
Visit: Barnet Dementia Hub, 1-5 Brampton Grove,
Hendon, NW4 4AE
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Guest blogger: Laura Stephens, Group
coordinator at the Alzheimer’s Society Barnet Dementia Hub - Guest blogs are always welcome at The Barnet Ey
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