Is Andrew Tate the end product of a lack of decent male role models

 Much as I try, it seems impossible to escape the Andrew Tate saga. Just in case, unlike me, you've not heard of Mr Tate, he's become a star of sorts and earned a load of money by becoming a sort of social media superstar and earned loads of money by being a bit misogynistic and blingy. He's used his fame and dosh to be even more misogynistic and blingy and apparently millions of boys and young men see him as a role model. He's being held in Romania, where he lives, on various charges. I asked Google who he was, and this was the reply

A self-described misogynist, Tate's controversial commentary has resulted in his suspension from several social media platforms. On December 29, 2022, Tate and his brother, Tristan, were arrested in Romania along with two women; all four are suspected of human trafficking and forming an organized crime group.

As best I can tell, Tate's philosophy is sort of based on the lines that if you are an 'alpha male', you more or less do what you like, when you like with women and their consent is not necessarily a big component in the equation. In one video he suiggests that accusations of cheating are dealt with by the following method  “It’s bang out the machete, boom in her face and grip her by the neck. Shut up bitch,”  whilst such ideas may make you a few quid in revenue from dodgy videos, I am not sure that in the real world, they will give you any sort of life worth living. I had a look at some of his content and it is sort of like Carry on Movies on crystal meth and with slightly better production values. 

As I watched it, I got to thinking about the whole Alpha male thing. I started to draw parallels with my own Father, who was, to my mind, the archetypal alpha male. He was a great sportsman (Tate was a Kickboxer), both ended up in Romanian prisons. My Dad was a prisoner of war, after being shot down on a bombing raid with the RAF, having baled out of a burning plane. Both were very successful in their chosen business ventures, although Dad's were not curtailed by the law at any point. He loved big cars, with large engines and loved the ability to enjoy the money he spent. 

Then there are the differences. My Dad, who was as tough a nut as they come, was always respectful to women. He despised people who were course or uncouth around them. He loathed people who were overly flashy in their lifestyles, stating that they must be very insecure to need to show off. Whilst he loved fast cars, his interest was in what was under the bonnet and the performance. His time in the airforce made him aware that unnecessary bling inhibits performance. The pride and joy of his life was a 3 litre Capri, which had been modified for the Pan African Rally. It had a nitrus burner fitted and could burn off any car on the road if the mood took him. He had it painted black. It was a beast but a very understated one. Tates cars are all about bling and saying "I'm rich". As to women, I've no idea whether Tate has a happy home life, butI doubt that he will emulate my Dad, passing away after 43 years of happy marriage to one person, who he was as crazy about on the day he died as the day he met. The thing about my father that I remember most was that he was fun to be around. He'd not make people feel uncomfortable for the sake of it. If he had money he'd want to share it around and enjoy it. 

I do wonder if Tate's existence really is joyful? My own experience of relationships with women is that they are best when you are both happy and relaxed in each others company. I doubt that waving machette's round makes anyone happy.

The real problem with Tate is not him or his lifestyle, it is the fact that impressionable people see his cars, cash and bling and think it is something to aspire to. I don't. I was raised in a home with a strong and admirable male role model. There are many times when I mis my father and would like to discuss things with him, but when I see Tate, I know what he'd say. In North London, we knew all manner of people who exhibited many of Tate's behaviours. Blingy, boorish, rude, tasteless and vulgar. I have a natural revulsion at such things and such people, especially when they have no sense of irony. Sadly, I suspect that many young men don't have a strong, decent role model in their life to show them the pitfalls of such behaviour. They end up not seeing it for what it is, a cartoon image, and believe that it is the way to go. Sadly, I suspect that those who seriously try and imitate Tate's modus operandi will end up a little bit sad and lonely at best. If you don't treat partners with respect, at best you'll end up with no partner. If you act in a coercive manner, you may end up in prison, and you may find that there are far more 'alpha male' cell partners than you. 

Over the last few years, I've thought more and more about the relationship between money and happiness in our lives. I suspect that when we get to the point where we are lighting cigars with £50 notes, we are no longer enjoying it. It is simply a way of saying to everyone else "I have lots of money".  In my experience, friends will soon bore of anyone who carries on in such a manner. You may end up with a bunch of like minded friends, but who really wants to spend their lives surrounded by rich bores, who all sane people avoid like the plague. I couldn't help but think back to the 1970's and the Confessions of a window cleaner films.  For a short period, every teenage boy wanted to be a window cleaner, as they thought they'd get lots of sex. It didn't take us long to recognise the fact that the films rather over glamourised the profession. I suspect that in about 45 years, someone, somewhere will be writing a blog, or whatever the equivalent is, stating that it is hard to believe that anyone took Andrew Tate seriously. 

The best antidote to such silliness is for young men is to have happy successful male role models who are not tied up in such silliness. Having said that, the likes of Tate should not be taken too seriously as they have a habit of sinking just as fast as they rise. Harvey Weinstein is a good example of what happens when they don't grow up. Sadly, they make a lot of people unhappy on the way.