It's Friday and if you've had the week I've had, then you really need a laugh. I have selected one that exemplifies the genius that was Ronnie Barker. This clip, to me is a great example that you can hear a conversation and get the totally wrong end of the stick. I miss Ronnie Barker's wit. If you just want a laugh, skip the text and watch the video. I suspect that the next few paragraphs may not be the most cheerful things you'll read this year.
In truth, I've had a stressful week. Nothing bad has happened, but I am going through a period of transition at the same time as the whole world is nervously eying one of the most dangerous conflicts of my life. I've always liked to believe that I'm someone who adapts to change well, but I've realised that adapting to positive change is a completely different thing to dealing with negative change. As the parent of three children in their 20's, I find myself ever more horrified at the world our generation is bequeathing to them. Of late, I've started to have a strange and disturbing recurrent dream. In it, I am tied to the bed in Friern Barnet psychiatric hospital, being forcibly administered medication and the year is around 1984. I am desperate to fall asleep so I can return to my relatively comfortable life in 2022, but the staff are telling me that this is the reality and everything in my life today is just a figment of my imagination and the sooner I realise that I am a useles deadbeat with no future, the better.
I think the source of this is that I am working with a friend making a short film about his experiences within the mental health system and being sectioned. We are making it because we both believe that 99% of the population are completely unaware of the reality of severe mental health challenges. We have been discussing the issue for a very long time, maybe 30 years. What he went through was degrading and absolutely brutal, but he believe's it is better than the system today, where he would most likely have got no help at all. He can say this with authority because his son had similar challenges and despite clear cries for help received no help and ended up hanging himself. I have struggled with the whole thing. I passionately believe that what he has to say needs to be told. You need to hear it from the horses mouth. My only worry is that I won't do the job properly, despite my best efforts. What I would really like is a TV company that makes documentaries to get involved and once we have the rushes, that is an avenue I will persue.
Last year I turned 60. I have only just realised this. I am 60 years old and living with prostate cancer. Unlike many of my friends, I still feel that I have stuff to do, I'm not looking to retire or step back, if anything I have more projects on the go than ever, but I am aware that the grim reaper is sneaking up on me. I wonder if all I'll end up leaving is a bunch of half baked, half completed projects. I don't really care if everyone forget me when I've gone, but the thought that my studios might be demolished and 'luxury flats' built on the site horrifies me. We've worked hard to keep an area of Mill Hill safe for creative people to make great music and art and for working people to earn a crust. It seems that the concept of running businesses for purposes other than solely making as quick a buck as possible is totally alien to 95% of the population. In truth it has served us rather well. We have an income and an asset, but sooner or later the decision will be totally out of my hands. If I had a penny for every arrogant property developer who has strode in and told me they could make me rich by selling up, I'd be able to buy a good few kebabs. They look quite bemused when I tell them I'm richer than they could possibly imagine already. I'm not sure they understand. In truth, I have enough cash to do all of the things I want to do. I don't lust after fast cars and younger model wives. I love playing music, I love listening to music and I love facilitating other people to make music. Nothing would be of greater value than that. Perhaps the biggest irony of all is that the decisions we've made to facilitate the continued existence of the studio have been the best financial decisions we could have made. My mother was keen to sell the site in 1988 after my Dad died and had seemingly 'generous' offers. If she'd taken them and not listened to the alternative plan myself and my siblings put to her, the whole thing and all of the proceeds would have been long gone. What is interesting is that developers always seem to take the view that we are complete idiots and talk to us as such, rather patronisingly saying "You are not recognising the true value of the site". The truth is that we totally do, but what we do works extremely well for is and has done for all of my adult life.
When the grim reaper comes, it will be someone elses problem. I just hope that they have the foresight to see the bigger picture. I'd say what we are doing is by far the best investment. We have an income and we have security. Over the last 20 years blue chip banks, investment funds, crypto schemes etc have gone bust. People have been transformed from millionaires to paupers overnight. You may receive a big cheque for your business, but that can disappear in a puff of smoke. I've no ambition to hang my boots up yet. Things like our mental health project drive me on and excite me. I just hope that some lunatic doesn't blow the world up before we finish it.
Anyway, on that cheery note, if this doesn't cheer you up, nothing will!
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