The Saturday List #456 - My ten favourite pickled foods

 I am in France as I write this. We've gone to Paris for my Goddaughters wedding and are staying in a suburn of Paris. As you might expect, we've had a few decent meals out here. It may be churlish to criticise French cooking, but there is one thing which always bugs me. This may sound odd, but after I've been here a few days, it starts to irriatte me. You simply cannot get pickled onions with your fish and chips. I love fish and chips on a Friday, most likely a side effect of being raised a Catholic, when there was a prohibition on meat eating. It was meant to be a penance, but we all loved fish and chips. Dad emerging through the front door with a big box of fish and chips, still in the white coat he wore from work, is one of my fondest memories. Huge hunks of fish, far too many chips, pickled onions, gherkins, salt, vinegar and Heinz ketchup. Mum moaning as he'd 'bought too much'. Occasionally mum would make fish. That was a disaster for us. As Dad agreed, he'd rarely agree. Anyway, it inspired me to think about my top ten favourite pickled foods. I have discussed this before in detail. So here we go

1. Pickled onions. Fish and chips is simply wrong without a gherkin (as it is without malt vinegar). I should add that pickled onions give me the same pleasure that most folk get from chocolate. I have many great memories of them. 

2. Gherkins. Ditto above, a nice big juicy wally completes the picture!

3. Pickled Shallots. Very similar to onions, but Boucherie Gerard does wonderful home made ones. I slice them up and put them on the salad I take to work. You really should try it.

4. Pickled chillies. Just as fish and chips is not 'proper' without a pickled onion, a Kebab is not proper without a pickled chilli. At Coban's kebab's in Mill Hill, he gives me a couple. I eat one first and the other half way through.

5. Pickled Eggs. These have simply disappeared. Before pubs lost the plot, a pickled egg was just about the only food you'd get. Many people would say 'yuk' but if you've ever stood on a wet football terrace in the freezing cold on a November Saturday, you'd get just how wonderful a pickled egg is. Best consumed with a bag of cheese and onion crisps.

6. Jalapino chillies. This is a new discovery. Like the pickled shallots, they are wonderful on my lunchtime salad.

7. Pickled red cabbage. Much underrated. I first got into it when I worked with a Hungarian decorator called Mickey, who'd bring it along with Salami as a snack. A hunk of rye bread with salami and pickled red cabbage is the perfect snack.

8. Cockles. Oh yes, love em. Great with mayo on toast!

9. Beetroot. A great and inexpensive food, another one that is brilliant with salads. Also good sliced wafer thin on cheese on toast. 

10. Rhubarb. About forty odd years ago, I briefly went out with a lovely young lady, who was very into gardening and cooking. She had an amazing array of pickled foods, all grown on her allotment. She said "You do realise you can pickle anything". I said "What about rhubarb?". She said "I've never tried it". So we spent an afternoon harvesting the rhubab and pickling it in jars. A couple of days later, we split up, not particularly acrimoniously, but it seemed wise. I thought no more of it. About six weeks later, I got a phone call. She said "I need you to come around, it's important". In truth I was terrified that she was pregnant. When I turned up, she was in a fine mood. After a cup of tea, I said "whats up". She replied "Your pickled rhubab is ready". I'd completely forgotton about it, but she'd said that as I'd helped her, half of it was mine. I was quite relieved. I got home with six jars of the stuff. It didn't appeal to me at all. About a week later, a mate came around for a jam on guitars. At around ten pm, we got hungry. All I had was some sliced white bread, a small amount of cheese and the pickled rhubarb jars. I said to my mate (a rather unhygenic fellow called Ubungus) do you fancy, toast with cheese and pickled rhubarb. He hadn't eaten all day so he said "Oh yes!". I thought it was a good way to get rid of some of the stuff. When I opened the jar, it smelled OK, so I had some as well. With a mug of nice tea, I was astounded. It was amazing. I foolishly gave Ubungus a jar of the stuff. Sadly you can't buy it in the shops. I guess everyone has my suspicion of such things. I may well make some when I get home, we've got some rhubarb growing in the garden. Forty years is lon g enough to wait!

Have a great weekend, here's a song to entertain you from The False Dots reportoire! I selected this as the surrogate grandma I refer to made the most wonderful pickled onions, which she'd always give Mum a jar of around this time of year!