So why do I think that Boris Johnson's Deputy Mayor, Kit Malthouse could do with a Willy? Well today there are not one, but two blogs on the Tory Troll blog, which suggest to me that a bit of calm, sensible advice over a nice cup of tea may be of use to Mr Malthouse.
First he is proposing that "all breeds of bull terriers" are summarily ceased in the United Kingdom. he want's to follow the draconian legislation enacted in Ontario, where all of these dogs are forced by law to be castrated. Any non compliance and the poor little doggies are taken of and put down. As the owner of a dog for many years, I know and any sensible dog owner will know that it isn't the dogs, it's the owners which make them aggressive. Sensible owners will generally neuter overly aggressive dogs. I'm all for a law which bans people from keeping dogs who are unfit owners, but to commit ethnic cleansing on the doggy population of London is a horrible concept. Mr Malthouse hasn't twigged that many Tory voters like dogs and this would be a massive vote loser at the election.
Just to make matters worse it seems that someone, shall we say, very, or even extremely close to Mr Malthouse has been leaving messages on the Tory Troll website.These "anonymous" messages are always rather supportive of Mr Malthouse. It's well worth clicking on the link to read the full story.
Now I wonder. If Mr Malthouse actually did have a Willy, what would his Willy say to him about these. I suspect Kit's Willy may have this message about his genocide for Dogs idea
"Kit, this is your Willy talking. Have a nice cup of tea. Sit down, relax, think it through. Many old dears who like the Tory party, like doggies even more. If you bring in your "gas chambres for doggies" idea, we'll loose thousands of ardent supporters, just when we need them most. If you want to deal with dangerous dogs, target the problem - bad owners - who no one will vote Labour to save".
And what would Kit's Willy advise him to do about his "rather close associates" leaving messages on nasty bloggers sites, using anonymous ID's?
"Kit, this is your Willy talking, have a nice digestive biscuit with that cup of tea. These Leftie bloggers are nasty people. They know all the nasty tricks of the internet and they love trying to catch honest, decent, upright people such as your good self out. If you see something you don't like, ignore it. Getting your "friends and very close associates" to post messages will only make you look rather silly."
Now as ever, being a dyslexic, I ran this by my good Lady to tell me if I'd made any terrible typo's. She tells me that Willy Whitelaw is actually a Willie !!!!!! She informs me that a Willy is a part of your anatomy !!!!! Even so, if I was Kit, I'd start listening to my Willy as I suggested, rather than talking through that other rather naughty bit of his anatomy, as he seems to be doing in his "gas the doggies" scheme. We wouldn't want him to end up looking like that even ruder bit of anatomy which Lady Thatcher had and Willie Whitelaw didn't, would we?
