The Friday Joke - The art of spin!

Judy Walkman, a professional genealogy researcher in southern  California  , was doing some personal work on her own family tree. She discovered that Senator Harry Reid's great-great uncle, Remus Reid, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in  Montana  in 1889. Both Judy and Harry Reid share this common ancestor.

The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows in  Montana  territory: 

 
On the back of the picture Judy obtained during her research is this inscription: 'Remus Reid, horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889.'

So Judy recently e-mailed Senator Harry Reid for information about their great-great uncle.

Harry Reid: 

 
Believe it or not, Harry Reid's staff sent back the following biographical sketch for her genealogy research:


"Remus Reid was a famous cowboy in the  Montana   Territory  . His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the  Montana  railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to government service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."

The Incredible Charisma of Zac Goldsmith!

One Picture says a thousands words. Just look at the faces of the audience

Music special - how to make a rock and roll album

Ever wondered how you make an album of rock and roll music? Well for the False Dots, we are in the final throws of recording our new album 'songs of love and war'. This has been a rather slow burner. Myself and singer/co writer Allen Ashley started writing it back in 1985. Due to a split over 'musical differences' in early 1986, the project was put on hold. In 2011, we got back together to record some music for a video I was making for Church Farm library. We then performed at Friern Barnet library, just before the occupation officially ended.

After this we decided that we should keep the band together as a working unit and record the music for posterity. So here's the process.

1. Write the songs and get them shipshape. Luckily for us we are both prolific writers, we already had a set of decent songs and we have an excellent working unit of a band with Fil Ross on bass and Graham Ramsey on drums. The original intention was to simply record the 1985 set, but we have written some cracking new songs, such as Saturday amen Please Myself, so we decided to make the album a mix of old and new.  We had several rehearsals and arranged a few gigs to sharpen us up. Allen prefers live performances to recording, wheras I love working in the studio. So once the songs were ready, we booked a few sessions for tracking.

2. Tracking. This is where we put down the backing tracks. We do this live, as it suits our feel. Most bands don't, but we also record Allens vocals at these sessions. We put down the guides, then when we are happy with the track, Allen does his take. Usually we'll get Allen to do 2 or three takes. In logic ( the recording software) we can then use the best parts in the mix.

3. Overdubs. We tend to try and keep this fairly minimal, but Fil and myself add extra layers of guitar, bass, keyboards and percussion. We put everything we think we may need and then resolve it in the mix. I also listen to a lot of other music when I'm tracking, to get inspiration. I will listen to other artist who've done similar tracks, and try and pick out exactly what they've overdubbed. I'll often then try that in the studio. Keeping someone's attention for 3-4 mins is hard, so we always try and lob a few things in to maintain interest. 

4. Mixing. This is where we take all the ingredients and make sure it works. As an example, you may love gherkins and you may love trifle, but they don't mix! So it is all about taking stuff out initially. Once we've taken out the stuff that doesn't work, we add a few effects, such as the megaphone effect on Allens vocal on Please Myself. Myself and Fil do the mixing, then we give versions to Allen and Graham.  They will suggest refinements. It is better to only have a couple of people mixing or it can get rather disjointed.

5. Mastering. Once the mixes are done, the songs are mastered. This is a process that ensures the tracks are sonically optimised and sound fat.it also ensures that the levels are correct, and so one track isn't quieter than others.

6. Artwork. This is also important. We have asked a good friend of mine the band, John Keough to produce some designs. Naturally myself and Allen like different styles! But we will come to the best decision eventually!

7. Production. I usually use Key Production to manufacture the product. They are a quality outfit and deliver what I expect. I know people who've used cheaper options to disaster our effect!

And there you have it. Only 31 years in the making. Songs of Love and War by The False Dots!

Barnet Tory Library cuts - Who is really to blame

Last night The Conservatives on Barnet Council forced through a programme of massive cuts to the library service. Some Tory councillors are tweeting that Labour didn't manage to get all of their councillors to turn up.

This is Barnet Council in 2016. Tardy Tories and lazy Labour councillors, all getting a minimum of ten grand a year but doing b@gg@r all to actually deserve it.

I believe the people of Barnet deserve far better. The men responsible for this mess are disgraced former Tory Councillor Brian Coleman and Finchley MP Mike Freer. These two organised a coup after the 2006 council election that saw Freer installed as leader and Coleman as puppet master. They brought in an army of highly paid consultants. These sold provision of council services to Capita. As this has failed to deliver the promised savings,they now have to dig ever deeper for savings. 

Capita have got Barnet tied up on long term contracts. These even guarantee Capita a share of council savings under a scheme called gain share. This means that Capita shareholders benefit from library cuts that penalise children, teenagers and OAP's.

Of course they don't put this on the glossy leaflets that they put through your door at elections. Sadly this isn't in the Labour Party literature either.

This is Barnet in 2016. If you want to change how the council is run,don't picket the Town Hall. Picket The CapitaAGM as they run the council. I would however urge you to do one thing to register your disgust. Vote anyone but Conservative in the Forthcoming Mayoral and GLA elections. The Tory candidate in the GLA is a big supporter of library cuts. Send theConservatives a message they can't ignore.

How Barnet Council treat disabled people part 1 - is this fair?

Hi Roger, How are you? How's the Save London music campaign, your blog & the Mill Hill Music Complex?

Since you are a blogger, I want to tell you Roger. Something both personal & politically. You are not going to believe it.

On Wednesday 16th March when there was staff development day (staff training) at the college, I was making my way to pick my brothers at the school. I went on the bus, I swiped my freedom pass on the reader & it said "Card not accepted" I thought I didn't swipe properly but then on the next day (Thursday 17th March) I was making my way to the college for the level 1 maths exam on the Tube. I swiped my freedom pass on the reader. It said "Seek Assistance" so I kept swiping it & it reads the same thing. I stopped at Finchley Central station. 

I asked the ticket inspector what is wrong with my faulty freedom pass card, he said to me, "Have you received the letter from the council?" I replied "Yes". He said to me the freedom pass is stopped, cancelled & it will no be longer used in the Tube lines, buses, Tram, overground & national rail trains so I told him the reason I hold the freedom pass because I have learning difficulties/disabilities. He understood & he said there is nothing he can do because of the stupid selfish Tory government treating the disabled people like garbage by implementing ridiculous policies that affects them like bedroom tax & ruining the welfare system. 

Since then, I told my mum about it & she called London councils who issued freedom pass cards for disabled & older people, she told them that why my freedom pass is deactivated & blocked. They said to her on the phone it wasn't them (London Councils) who blocked me from using my freedom pass. It was the Barnet council who did it. the expiry of my freedom pass is 31st March 2020. 

When mum called the council on the phone, it was the female staff, mum wanted to call the manager of the council, female staff said "no, there is no manager, only me" my mum said to her, I want to appeal against the deactivation of my son's freedom pass card. The staff said no. 

The staff was being disrespectful to my mum for wanting to appeal against the blocking my freedom pass. Before my freedom pass card was stopped working, I received the letter from Barnet council, what it said on the letter is that I need to have photo taken which I did recently. On the letter, it said "Are you diagnosed with learning disabilities & SEN (which includes autism which I am high functioning). I ticked "yes" so I posted the letter in the postbox & I received no response from the Barnet council at all. It did not say on the letter that my freedom pass will be stopped working or will soon to expire, it did say not on the letter. 😞 

What it said on the letter with a simple question. " Do I have learning difficulties" I ticked "yes" so that I received no letters from the council with responses (it also said that I have to be photo taken for freedom pass). That's how my freedom pass was deactivated because of the selfishness of the Barnet council & The Conservative government. 

They blocked my freedom pass without me knowing that my freedom pass card will be no longer work at the tube stations & buses. This is a complete obscene & disgraceful. I have been holding the freedom pass from very long time since I lived in Barnet 18 years ago. The Tories & the Barnet council have treated me unfair although i am normal despite I went to Oak Lodge School (secondary special school) but yet, this is a new low for David Cameron's government or so I say David Cameron's regime. 

How dare them for stopping my freedom pass, what I do to deserve this? This country is really behaving like a strict authoritarian country like China & Russia. For 6 years the Tory government have been treating disabled people including people with special needs (SEN stands for special educational needs) crap, with austerity measures, cutting the independent living fund for severely disabled people including those who are non-verbal, they cut DLA (Disability Living Allowance) & replaced with PIP (Personal Independent Payment) & they cut ESA 30%  by voting in favour of getting rid of Employment Support Allowance.

😦

That's how we despise (another word for hate) them for their rubbish politics. David Cameron, Geroge Osborne & the rest of the Conservative MPs should be ashamed of themselves including voting in favour of disability cuts. At least there were 7 Tory MPs who did not voted in favour of it. The rest should be ashamed. I don't understand why we are living in the country which is a democratic but doesn't have a true democracy at all. 

That's why the public voted for the Tories last year at General election to continue the austerity programme by implementing cuts & dismantling us & the disabled with the politics of misery. Unbelievable!! 😡 The Tories are corrupt & opposers, they don't care about us the British people, neither Is the workers, the migrants, the Scottish, European nationals (like poles, Romanians & Bulgarians, non-European workers, the youth, the elderly & the disabled. That's how my freedom pass is blocked because of them. 

Now I have Oyster card & discount Bus & Tram photocard which I get 15%. Mum & myself had been working on the letters as I went to GP with her to confirm that I do have learning difficulties (& autism even I don't really want to admit it). She had sent the letters to the Tory Barnet council 4 days ago. 

I assume they received the letters by now (3 days ago) so they can reconsider & restoring my freedom pass card so I can get it back & get it to work again.

So that's how I want to tell you about it as I know you are dyslexic blogger & that we dislike the Tory party & their ridiculous politics towards everybody & the disabled.

--------------------------

This is an unedited message received from a young man with Autism living in Barnet. I have withheld his name to safeguard his privacy. Is this right? Is this fair? Can you imagine how humiliating this is for him?

London Mayor Elections - an empty vessel vs a nothing man

I don't think I've ever been less interested in an election than the current Mayoral contest. I may, for the first time ever, vote green. London needs some radicle changes. I think a green government would be an unmitigated disaster, but I think it is possible a Green Mayor would do a good job. Neither Khan nor Goldsmith have a clue. They are the sort of candidates you get when parties run out of ideas. Khan seems to believe in nothing and Goldsmith is an empty vessel, a man who has only two things going for him, good looks and a rich daddy. At least the Greens have a candidate who believes in something. Issues like air quality, household waste and public transport are the things which need strong and bold ideas. These won't come from Khan or Goldsmith. Neither are fit for purpose as Mayor. It seems to me the Greens have a once in a lifetime opportunity in London. They need to start shouting it from the rooftops.

The Saturday List #86 - The things I'm glad. I was wrong about

Ever been wrong about something? I was having a chat last night with my children and the comment was made that one of them shares a trait with me that we never think we are wrong. If course we are all wrong about things all the time. So I thought I'd compile a list of things I've been wrong about and fess up.

1. Having kids. 

I never wanted them. It wasn't in my plan at all. I just wanted to play rock and roll, party and enjoy myself. If Madame hadn't forced the issue when I was 33, I'd never have had them. But I was wrong. I'd been fooled and seduced by the concept that total hedonism is the route to happiness. I'm probably a lousy Dad, I don't do much homework for my kids, I tell them it's their job, but I will point them where to look if they are stuck. If something goes wrong, I don't tell them 'don't worry, it will be alright' when it won't. I tell them that life is unfair, get used to it. But I also tell them to enjoy life, look behind the curtains and keep an open mind. Most of all have fun. If I'd known what I know now when I was 20, I'd have had eleven kids and I'd ferry em round in a minibus.

2. Getting married.

Again this wasn't on the plan. I hated the whole concept. Never wanted a big day and never wanted commitment. However when my hand was forced, I did the decent thing. It has worked out well for me. It is great to have a team. I was lucky to find someone who puts up with me, as I am far from easy. I don't counsel opinions before making important decisions and when I want to do something, I do it come hell or high water. I guess the upside is I'm not stingy and it can be fun. The one thing I've realised is that loneliness is the worst thing in the world.

3. Having a proper job.

When I was 18, the idea of having a proper job and responsibilities was an anathema. I just wanted to have enough cash to get by. I didn't want to have to get up and I wanted to be able to do what I wanted when I wanted. I also didn't like the concept of being stuck with a bunch of people I had nothing in common with doing the same thing every day. Now I whilst most of this is stil true, I came to realise that work is what you make of it. If you want it to be enjoyable it can be enjoyable, if you expect it to be mundane and boring, it will be mundane and boring. If you make no effort with people, they can seem dull, but if you engage them, you may be pleasantly surprised. And to my surprise, I find my work enjoyable and rewarding.

4. Manchester United.

I must confess that for one shameful day, I supported Manchester United. This was the fault of my elder brother Frank. It was back in 1968, when I was 5 years old. He told me that Manchester United were the greatest team in the world. He told me that they were playing Manchester City and that when they beat them, they would be champions again. I was so excited. I told Frank that I too was a United fan. In those days, there was no Sky TV. Only match of the day, which was well past my bed time. On Sunday morning, I got up and said to Frank 'did we win?' He sullenly replied 'no City won and they will probably be champions'. I realised he'd cruelly mislead me. On that day, I realised that I was City! It all made sense. I was born prematurely, due to a condition called the Rhesus factor. My mum told me I'd been a Blue Baby and I was lucky to be alive. How could I possibly have considered supporting the dark side?

5. Ronald Reagan.

When Reagan was elected, I thought it would lead to World War Three. His belligerence and anti communism seemed to me apocalyptic. In the early 80's it seemed that it was just a matter of when, not if we'd destroy ourselves and the planet. I was clearly wrong and I couldn't be happier. I don't  itagree with his brand of politics, but I did learn that sometimes people you don't agree with can deliver good things. Reagan and Gorbachov delivered a better world.

6. The Catholic Church.

As a Roman Catholic, the church has given me one of the greatest challenges. I was brought up to believe that the Pope was infallible and the church was always right. Sadly, the peadophile priest scandal has destroyed this view in all but the most blinkered faithful. I still believe the church is a force for good and I place great hope in Pope Francis to restore much of the battered credibility of the church. I believe that it is the ordinary people and their faith, rather than the clergy that offer hope. The church needs to fight for social justice, honesty, compassion and forgiveness. It must stop judging people and focus on its mission of making the world a better place for all its citizens, of every creed band colour. A priest is supposed to be someone who builds communities, gives comfort to the sick, dying and bereaved and helps those in need. Any person who doesn't do that is not a priest and needs a new job.

7. The Clash.

Now this will shock a few of you. When I bought the first album by the Clash, I played it once and didn't like it. I much preferred the debuts by The Vibrators, The Damned, The Buzzcocks and The Heartbreakers. It laid unplayed for months and I refused to see the band. Then a girlfriend came around who was a Clash nut. I had to play it. After a couple of listens, I realised I'd made a horrific mistake.

8. Vegetarian diet.

From 1984 to around 1998 I was a pescetarian, eating fish and veggies but no meat. I did this for health reasons following some chronic problems that nearly killed me. I was not unhappy with the diet and most of the time didn't miss meat (apart from the odd hangover when a bacon sarnie would have gone down a treat). Then in 1998 I started to get all manner of strange ailments. Tests followed, nothing seemed to work. At one stage, I even had an HIV test. Then I chanted to Dr Carswell. He asked what my diet was like. I told him I didn't eat meat. He told me I was an idiot and men needed meat. He proscribed liver and bacon. I went down to  Dinosaur cafe in Spittalfields and had just that. As I walked back my feet and fingers started tingling. I cold feel the goodness flowing though me. All of the problems went and I felt better than ever.

9. The Labour Party.

I was a member from 1984 to 2009. I had believed the party was a force for equality, fairness and social justice. Sadly Blair, Brown, Mandelson and Alan Johnson destroyed that belief. I have come to the view that the Labour Party simply serves itself and its vested interests. The way Blairs cronies have sought to undermine Jeremy Corbyn simply demonstrates how undemocratic the party is. They've taken no account of the huge mandate Corbyn received.

10. Marks and Spencer's.

.....and finally. When M&S took over the old Budgens shop in Mill Hill, I was gutted. I loved Budgens. I felt that M&S would simply be expensive and sell stuff I wouldn't buy. In fact I was wrong. I'd still be happy to have seen Budgens remain, but there is no doubt that Marks is a great asset to Mill Hill. 

The Friday Joke - 1/4/2016

Today would have been my Dads 99th birthday. He was born 99 years ago today in Blackall, Queensland, Australia. This was his favourite joke.

An elderly man in Queensland  owned a large property. He had a dam in one of the lower paddocks where he had planted mango and avocado trees.The dam had been fixed up for swimming when it was built and he also had some picnic tables placed there in the shade of the fruit trees.   

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the dam to look it over, as he hadn't been there for a while. He grabbed a ten litre bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the dam, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his dam.  He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, ‘We're not coming out until you leave!’

 The old man frowned, ‘I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the dam naked.’ Holding the bucket up he said, ‘I'm here to feed the crocodile.’

 Moral: Old men may walk slowly, but they can still think fast.

Exclusive - Barnet Council sanctions destruction of mammoth remains in Colindale

Mammoth Bones in Colindale

The Barnet Eye has been handed a pack of secret "Blue" Council papers, detailing how Council workmen have destroyed the historical remains of a mammoth, found whilst excavating the site of new council offices in Colindale. The papers report that the council were worried that a full scale archeological excavation of the site would hinder plans to move from the existing premises at North London Business Park.

As it is illegal to possess confidential blue papers, the Barnet Eye has destroyed them. We contacted the Leader of the Council, Richard Cornelius for a comment regarding the report and he said "If there are mammoths in Colindale, it is the first I've heard of it".  Leader of the Lib Dems Jack Cohen stated "It is no surprise to me that the dinosaurs in the local Conservative Party have done for the historic mammoth of Colindale". Labour GLA rep Andrew Dismore stated "This is typical of the Boris Johnson administration and a perfect example of why you should vote for me in May". His Conservative opponent, councillor John Thomas responded "Zac Goldsmith has excellent environmentalist credentials and will ensure that no further mammoths in Colindale die.

The Barnet Eye is rather disappointed to see that as ever our local politicians are not taking the destruction of our local heritage seriously. Had the local Tories not closed down Church Farmhouse museum and sanctioned its conversion into a chippy for students at Middlesex Uni, it would have made an excellent venue for local people to view the historic mammoth remains.