Guest Blog - Today is National Dementia Carers day by Laura Stephens

By Laura Stephens, 

There are ‘hidden’ carers across our borough. People who are caring for someone close to them with dementia without any support.

Today is National Dementia Carers’ Day (Sunday 10 September) and we’re calling on carers to share their experiences and asking the public to show their appreciation for these unsung heroes.

One of the regular members of Dementia Cafe I run is James Hale (83), from East Barnet. He cares for his wife, Mollie who was diagnosed with dementia in 2013.

James told me:

“Dementia has changed both our lives. As Mollie’s condition develops, I have to support her more and more with daily tasks.

“From her diagnosis in December 2013, I’ve been her sole carer and found myself doing everything around the house. It involved a lot of multitasking – very difficult for a man!”

“Mollie’s dementia has progressed so much that she can’t stand unassisted now. She struggles with speech too. But even in the depths of her dementia, I still see glimpses of her keen mind shine through.

“It’s fantastic to have a resource like Barnet Dementia Hub nearby. Laura and her team offer support services across the borough for people like me and Mollie. It’s been invaluable to us.

“I love going to the Dementia Café.  Of course, it was much better when Mollie could come too and share in the fun.

“Mollie was moved to a care home in June. I worry about her, every minute of every day.

“Even though she can’t attend the service anymore, I still go. I get to talk with people going through what I am. We do lots of different activities together and it’s nice to have some time just for me.

“Six days after Mollie went into a home, I wrote a poem for her. This National Dementia Carers Day, I hope someone is reading it…”

WISH I COULD SNATCH THAT MONSTER AWAY
by JAMES HALE 

I WISH I COULD SNATCH THAT MONSTER AWAY  
IT SEEMS TO SPOIL ALMOST EVERY DAY
THAT MONSTER ALZHEIMER'S IS TO BLAME
IT LURKS WITHIN MY DEAR WIFE'S BRAIN
OH HOW I YEARN FOR THOSE YEARS GONE BY
WHEN I COULD LAUGH AND NEVER CRY

I FEEL GUILTY NOW OF WHAT I HAVE DONE
TO THE GIRL I MARRIED WHO GAVE ME FUN
DEMENTIA MADE ME THROW IN THE TOWEL
SHE IS  SAFE WITHIN A CARE HOME NOW
I LOVE HER DEARLY BUT SHE DOESN'T KNOW
MY HEART SINKS WHEN I LEAVE HER AND GO

MOBILITY REGRESSION NOW COMES INTO PLAY
IT S A CRUSHING REALITY I SEE EVERY DAY
OUR HAPPY LIFE IS A THING OF THE PAST
MOLLIES MENTAL REGRESSION IS OH SO FAST
TOO LATE FOR MY DEAR WIFE NOW, BUT PRAY
A CURE FOR DEMENTIA WILL BE FOUND ONE DAY.

OH, HOW I WISH I COULD SNATCH THAT MONSTER AWAY!!

If you’ve been diagnosed with dementia, or you’re caring for someone who has, please get in touch to discuss how the team at Barnet Dementia Hub can support you.

Call: 020 3725 3001

Email: barnet@alzheimers.org.uk

Visit: Barnet Dementia Hub, 1-5 Brampton Grove, Hendon, NW4 4AE

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Guest blogger: Laura Stephens, Group coordinator at the Alzheimer’s Society Barnet Dementia Hub - Guest blogs are always welcome at The Barnet Ey

 

Tales from The Vicarage - An evening with John Barnes

Last night, we visited the Watford Palace Theatre, for one of the "Tales from the Vicarage" series, with Watford and England legend John Barnes.  The Watford Palace Theatre is a great little theatre. It often has shows before they go to the West End, is easy to get to and has a pleasant atmosphere. The crowd last night was a bit different to the regular one though. Mostly blokes my age, beer guts and badly fitting Watford tops in abundance.

I've long been a fan of John Barnes. every football fan of a certain age remembers "that goal", the amazing run through the Brazil team to score. I've also enjoyed his punditry and as one of the first high profile black players, coming through at a time when groups like the National Front were active on the terraces, I thought it would be an interesting session.

We turned up and the first thing was to collect our "goodie bag". This consisted of a copy of one of the "Tales from the Vicarage" books, a book mark and a poster. I plumped for a collection of interviews and stories.

Really pleased to announce a new partnership with @TalesFromTheVic tonight at a brilliant evening with John Barnes and Adam Leventhal. pic.twitter.com/OMnBerTpyG

— KitAid (@KitAid) September 8, 2017

After a refreshing beer in the theatre bar, we went in for the show. The first half was largely talking about his early life. He spoke with great respect about his fathers influence. His Dad was a very sporting guy as an army man he played football, Rugby,  Cricket and Boxing to a high level. John was raised on an  army base in Jamaica. He recounted watching a game between Arsenal and Chelsea. His sisters were champion swimmers. John started swimming, but soon realised football was his game. He recounted how when he was 11 he often played against 15 year olds.

John then recounted how the family moved to England. He was excited as he saw it as the home of football. His Dad had a diplomatic posting for four years with the army. He went toa Marylebone Grammer school, whilst his sisters went to Henrietta Barnet. He started with a local West London youth team, progressing to non league Sudbury Town. To my surprise he explained how he originally played centre half, as he was the only one who had the discipline to play the role.

He then talked about how Watford scouted him. Bertie Mee came and spoke to his Dad. He was also training at QPR, but he said they didn't seem interested. He spoke of the family atmosphere and how discipline and work was the key to the Grahame Taylor success. Barnes is a very natural and engaging subject for interview. A question that perhaps gave a few a surprise was whether he rembered his first goal. He said he remembered very few of his goals. He expained that he didn't consider himself a striker.

The second half of the show was about the "glory years". Explaining that he saw finishing runners up as the pinnacle of his career, even better than a Wembley appearance in the FA cup final. He was also inevitably asked about what is perhaps the greatest ever England goal.


That one against Brazil. John explaines that he remembered little of it, except how he suddenly found himself with an open goal gaping. He told a very un PC story saying it was almost like "how did I get here". He likened it to when he was drunk driving and he found himself, having crashed through a hedge, stranded in the middle of a field.

He was asked who was the biggest influence. His answer was unequivocable. Graham Taylor. It is clear that Taylor was a massive influence and a man he respects above all others in football. He said that at Watford, no one was a superstar, everyone was respectful. He said that as he knew no better, he thought every club made players do work in the community, apper at charity events and take part in silly events. He said how Elton John had wanted to put more money in and Taylor had said no, as the club had to stand on its own two feet. He also paid tribute to how Elton John allowed Taylor to be the boss. He said there were no tantrums and tiaras.

He recounted one of the darker moments, when England travelled to Brazil and on the plane out were a bunch of National Front Neo-Nazi's who tried to give him a hard time. Barnes explained that Taylor had instilled in him the mental toughness to ignore them. He said that after 'that goal' they were quiet on the way home. He said that he always blocked out the crowd and the press, good or bad. There were many great anecdotes, told with humour. The evening finshed with a session of "recreating old photographs" with members of the audience,

Here's @dyk_steve and brother Pete having their photo recreated with John Barnes on stage at #TFTV Live! #WatfordFC pic.twitter.com/yrFNABQNlT

— TalesFromTheVicarage (@TalesFromTheVic) September 8, 2017

Thanks for the photo @officialbarnesy great night even if most embarrassing of my life!!! @TalesFromTheVic need to see recreation! pic.twitter.com/azRh01xFhW

— tracy gibbon (@tracygibbon) September 8, 2017

 then a rendition of the rap from the England 1990 World Cup song. Barnes recounted that only five players turned up for the session. When they came to do the Rap, it was between him, Peter Beardsely, Gazza and Des Walker, no contest . This was hilarious.

@TalesFromTheVic @AdamLeventhal @officialbarnesy he only did it. 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 pic.twitter.com/vIz5Pvcprf

— Carl James (@watfordboy82) September 8, 2017

All in all a great night, with a very decent and entertaining man. I'd thoroughly recommend it. 

The Saturday List #146 - The Ten most viewed videos from The Barnet Eye!

Over the years, the Barnet Eye has made many videos to use in our blogs. These videos form an important part of the history of the blog. I happened to notice that there is a feature of your youtube channel that allows you to sort your videos in order of the most popular. I thought it would be a good list to publish the most popular.

1.  The footage of the awful behaviour of Metpro Security staff at a Barnet Council meeting at Hendon Town Hall footage. I am pleased this is the most viewed. It was perhaps the most important moment in recent Barnet history, the moment where it became clear that the Council was not capable of managing its suppliers.

2:39 Barnet Council Town Hall footage

1.6K views 6 years ago

2. The Trailer for the Barnet - The Billion Pound Gamble film. We put a lot of work into the film. It's great to see that there was such interest in it.

0:41 Barnet - The Billion Pound Gamble - Official Trailer for Phoenix Premier

1.4K views 4 years ago

3. Disgraced Ex Barnet Councillor  Brian Coleman is berated by his council colleagues for wasting the councils moneyvwith his dodgy parking policies.

1:05 BRIAN COLEMAN berated by Barnet Council committee

1.2K views 5 years ago

4. Finchley Traders Parking Protest. Following the abolition of Pay and Display parking in the Borough, local traders staged a funeral for local high street business. Perhaps one of my favourite clips, simply for it's whacky bonkerness.

0:52Finchley traders 6-1-2012

1.1K views 5 years ago

5. Brian Coleman is described as the weakest link at a Council meeting, in relation to his failure to implement cyclist friendly policies. He explains that he thinks cycle lanes are simply clutter. A naughty member of the public shouts "tell Boris".

1:01 Brian Coleman - The weakest Link

1K views 5 years ago

6. Brian Coleman on Parking. Yet another awful display! Brian had a very popular movie career on the Barnet Eye!

2:15Brian Coleman on parking

988 views 5 years ago

7. One of a series of videos we made on the performance of Capita, which we were planning to edit into a film "Capita - The Movie". Sadly we never got around to it!

4:12Capita - The Movie part 1

915 views 3 years ago

8. Some rather amusing footage of the behaviour of our elected representatives at a meeting to discuss the proposed siting of a waste incinerator at Pinkham way. This video got huge interest at the time and resulted in a mailbox full of comments from angry residents. The proposal was eventually dropped.

 

6:32Pinkham Way Incinerator protest at Barnet Town Hall

761 views 6 years ago

9. Some more footage of a Council Meeting. This time it is Councillor Tom Davey who disgraces himself and gives a demeaning reratcion following an accusation that veteran councillor Geoff Johnson was lying. Sadly his colleagues found it all rather funny.

4:34Barnet Council Meeting 13-09-2011

717 views 5 years ago

10. Finally, here is a music video we made to celebrate the Barnet Eye getting half a million views on Blogspot. Great track. Some of this has become very out of date/superceded, such as the statement that the council lost £27 million in Icelandic investments. Whilst true at the time this was made, they got most of it back eventually. It was also sad to see the pictures of Ex Council leader Lynn Hillan at the end, who tragically passed away about a year after this was made.

3:13Barnet Eye the Movie

693 views  6 years ago

 I must admit that these are not the top ten I'd pick. The Barnet Eye lead the way in videoing Barnet council and meetings. We published the first video filmed in Barnet Town Hall. As a direct result of this, the council changed its policy (not that it turned out, it actually had one).

 There would probably be two from this list in my fave's. I'd never given it any thought before, but the most viewed were the ones associated with the blogs with the hottest topics. In the days when disgraced ex councillor Brian Coleman was in his pomp, before his conviction for assaulting Helen Michael, he seemed to view Council meetings as a great opportunity to insult as many people as possible. This made for great videos. Since his demise, the meetings have become far less fun to film. I do wish I'd filmed this weeks meeting on Monday. I'm sure that would have done well, given Councillor Daniel Thomas abject performance. 

In total, I've made 82 published videos on Youtube. Some are music videos so weren't considered for this list, as they weren't made for the blog. In total, my videos have had over 26,000 views to date. With regards to the blog, the video aspect has always been something I've done very much as a rough and ready source of some extra spice. In November I'm planning to change my working arrangements, to give me more time for artistic projects. One of my aims is to improve the quality of my video making and output. Needless to say, it probably won't work out like that. When I reviewed this list, I did think that if I'd taken the video aspect more seriously, I could have had a far better collection. I may well have a follow up list next week of my favourite Barnet Eye videos. It will be interesting to compare!

The Friday Joke - 8/9/17

Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health, one asked how the other's husband was doing.
"Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"
"Oh dear! I'm so very sorry," replied her friend. "What did you do?"
"Opened a can of peas instead." 


Have a great weekend!

The Chandos Arms wins Community Pub of The Year at The British Pub Awards

The Barnet Eye is absolutely delighted to hear that The Chandos Arms in Colindale last night won the Community Pub of The Year at The Great British Pub Awards

We are the winners! Best Community Pub! pic.twitter.com/FlWT5heHQN

— The Chandos Arms (@ChandosArmsPub) September 7, 2017

The Chandos Arms are great friends of ours and regularly host the Barnet Eye annual community awards. They have also hosted many charity and music events in association with us and the Save London Music campaign. We spoke to landlady Emily Kollviett shortly after and she told us "I can't believe it, I'm absolutely delighted". We can, we never had any doubts.

If you've not checked out the Chandos Arms yet, get yourself down there. Emily and Are have done a marvellous job turning around a failing pub. We are delighted to have such a great team on our doorstep. We recognised the team were exceptional first, awarding them the Barnet Eye Pub of the Yeer award in 2015! And you know we know a great pub when we see one!

Jacob Rees Mogg MP and Morality

I have been struggling to comprehend how to respond to Mr Moggs statements regarding abortion and homosexuality. In desperation, I did something I am sure Mr Mogg would approve of. I prayed to the Good Lord for guidance. I was rewarded with inspiration. It is not for me to condemn anyone. I will merely pose a very theoretical question.

Given a reading of the New Testament, who do you feel Jesus would show more compassion to. A woman, at her wits end, driven to poverty by Tory Government policies, who is raped, catches HIV, and finds she is pregnant, then opts for an abortion in a state of despair. Or would Jesus feel more compassion for an Eton educated, multi millionaire, who despite numerous gifts and advantages in life, belongs to a party that imposes austerity on the poor, subsides tax breaks for the rich with cuts to welfare programs and feels qualified to pontificate, stating abortion is wrong in all circumstances?

Strangely I recall not a single verse of the New Testament that supports Mr Rees Moggs view of homosexuality. When he issued his commandment to Love thy Neighbour, it was on no way qualified, no small print and no conditions attached.

So when Mr Rees Mogg claims his views are based on 'Deeply lead religious beliefs' maybe he should actually read the book his alleged belief is based on. I too have deeply held religious beliefs. A cornerstone is the advice Jesus gave 'don't criticise the splinter in your brothers eye when you have a plank in your own'. So I will not criticise Mogg, just state that they must teach a different version of the New Testament at Eton to Finchley Catholic High School where I passed my O level RE.

Save London Music Special - The Torrington rises over N12 (in Spirit) as live music returns

We have some very exciting news from The Save London Music Campaign. Whilst last year was primarily one where we were promoting a message, this year, we've had a very different focus. We've been working on a few projects to bring music back to some iconic places. Many of you will remember the highly successful North Finchley Festival in May, where over 1,500 people watched 50 acts in six venues over a weekend in May. Putting that together was a supreme effort, but the plan was to prove that the people of North Finchley wanted to see high quality live music back in N12. We were then very tied up with the Mill Hill Music Festival, Jesterfest in West Hampstead, the Cricklewood Festival and finally The Wembley Festival.

Well there is some great news. The Save London Music campaign has not only secured a night at The Bohemia to put music back on North Finchley High Street. We are also working with long time promoter of The Torrington, Pete Feenstra, to help him promote a live music at The Old Finchleans club in Southover, near Woodside Park Tube station, under the title of "Spirit of The Torrington".

North Finchley is one of the iconic homes of live music in London, as we blogged last month. We are committed to making sure that the future is as bright as the past for North Finchleys live music scene. Whilst the Torrington may be no more, we are sure that with two great venues, it can be twice as good!

Here are the details

Spirit of The Torrington – Eliza Neals and The Narcotics + Troy Redfern Band

September 10 @ 7:45 am - 11:00 pm

We are proud to welcome, all the way from Detroit USA, Eliza Neal & The Narcotics. The award winning sultry and powerful blues rock soul vocalist, recording artist, composer and performer is being compared to greats like Janis Joplin, Etta James and Ricki Lee Jones.

The band features a powerful mix of blues, rock and psychedelic soul, with  a twist of Jam band, originals  and southern rock covers. They’ve won best Blues songwrite twice and best rock songwriter in the detroit Music Awards. Do not miss this amazing band!

Support from awesome slide guitar rockers, The Troy Redfern band - For more details of Pete Feenstra gigs - www.feenstra.co.uk

Down The Road from The Torrington – The False Dots + Support live at The Bohemia!

September 22 @ 8:00 pm - 11:30 pm

The False Dots

The Save London Music Campaign is delighted to launch the first of a series of gigs bringing high quality live music back to the High Street in North Finchley. We kick off with Mill Hill Legends, The False Dots + Support. The False Dots have been playing their blend of psychedelic rock, tinged with dark humour and a punk energy and ethos since 1979. In the 1980’s the band toured the UK and Europe and had a strong cult following in London.

 They are soon to release their long awaited new album “Songs of Love and War”. They launch our very special series of gigs at The Bohemia as part of our “Down the Road from The Torrington” series of gigs.
Admission is free, to help lead guitar Rog T celebrate his birthday, so please come along for a truly awesome night in one of Londons finest Brewpubs!

The Wednesday Poem #28 - Pat Walsh RIP

Sorry mate, been so long,
I meant to call you back,
There was always something more urgent,
And I was just too slack,

Sorry mate, just wanted to say thanks,
For being a friend to me,
When I was at my lowest,
Pat Walsh RIP.

---------------------

Pat Walsh was one of my best friends at Finchley Catholic High School between 1973 and 1978. I last spoke to him in 1979. He called when I was busy. Promised to call him back, never got around to it. Guess I never will now. Got an email yesterday from the school alumni. He passed away in 2015.

I don't regret too many things, but I regret not calling Pat back.

The Barnet Tory election machine swings into life for the council elections in 2018

In the last three and a half years have you been invited by the Leader of Barnet Council to question him? I can't remember the last time. But next year there is a Council election. With this in mind, all of a sudden, the local political classes are swinging into life and all of a sudden they are desperate to hear from you (unless like last night when you actually have genuine concerns with their policies). So quite unexpectedly (ho ho ho) the Council Leader has decided to hold a whole series of question times for the public. Here's what his press release has to say.

The Leader of Barnet Council, Councillor Richard Cornelius, will be hosting a series of ’Question Time’ events across the borough to speak to residents and get their views on what matters in Barnet.

Barnet Council values residents’ views and opinions about how it is performing and delivering. The ‘Question Time’ events are the latest opportunity for residents to hear about the work of the council and ask questions about things that are important to them.
These views help to inform how the council works and set it priorities Barnet Council already engages with the local community via its resident perception survey, as well as through service consultations and engagement with service users and residents.
These events will be hosted by the Leader of the Council, who will give a brief overview of what the council is working on and its current priorities. There will then an opportunity for people to engage and asking questions.
Leader of Barnet Council, Councillor Richard Cornelius said: “Meeting residents is one of the most rewarding parts of my role and I am excited to hold these events across the borough. They are an opportunity to hear from residents so that I can better understand their needs to help make Barnet the best possible place to live.”
There is no set agenda and the atmosphere will be informal.  Everyone is welcome and Barnet Council wants to see people from all backgrounds, ages and interests.
Taking place across the borough, the Engage Barnet: Question Time events will run from 7pm to 9pm to enable as many people as possible to attend.
Barnet Council will be holding events from 7pm to 9pm at the following venues:

• Tuesday, 26th September-  St Stephens House & Gardens N3 3QE
• Wednesday, 11th October- New Barnet Community Centre EV4 9PF
• Monday, 30th October- Greek Cypriot Community Trust N12 9RU
• Tuesday, 14th November- Sangam Centre HA8 0AP
• Tuesday, 28th November- Old Bull Theatre  EN5 5SJ
• Wednesday, 13th December, Hartley Hall Mill Hill NW7 2JA

Now as you can imagine, the Barnet Eye is only to keen to ensure that these events are a rip roaring success. We will be doing our best to suggest themes that residents may want to take up with Councillor Cornelius. Richard is an amiable chap and I thoroughly look forward to the opportunities. We applaud his Damascene conversion to public engagement. I genuinely hope that all events have a large audience with a good natured, proper discussion of issues in our local community. In advance of these events, we'll be featuring a "theme of the week" to try and get the juices flowing on a few issues. I genuinely hope no one turns up with the simple intention of shouting at Richard. He has serious questions to answer and ordinary voters are none to impressed when activists simply give opponents a hard time. So lets make sure that the events work. I am interested in the choice of venues which all seem to be well placed for important Tory marginals. If nothing else it shows that Richard is rather serious about trying to keep his job. It seems most of his colleagues have decided to follow the Brian Coleman method of  campaigning

Hustings are a total waste of time especially for sitting MPs. No one who attends has an open mind

— Brian Coleman (@BrianColeman251) 29 August 2017

in favour of a nice spot of dinnner!

We do food, too!#barnet #conservatives https://t.co/NtJywOyRw1

— Barnet YCs (@BarnetYCs) August 6, 2017