— #MillHillMusicComplex (@MillHillMusicCo) April 26, 2024
And onwards and upwards with our round up of news about our local music scene, gigs this weekend and other ways to have some fun. We will start with the end of the football season. The oldest club in the Borough, Hadley FC finish their season tomorrow at Brickfield Lane, opposite the Gate Pub. The club are hoping for a record crowd to celebrate an amazing season in the Southern League Central First Division. It is a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon. The beer is cheap, the sun will be shining and if you fancy it, The Gate is over the road for a pre/post match scoff!
And on to some exciting news. My band, The False Dots released our new single last Friday! If you've not heard of us (hard if you are a regular reader of this blog) it is going viral in Brazil and has now been picked up in the USA on the ROKU network. There are 20 stations in Brazil playing the single on rotation. Who knows, maybe a tour of South America beckons. However, you lucky lot don't have to go to Brazil or the USA - you can come down to the Dublin Castle tonight at 8pm. We are supporting Ska legends Skaface. CLICK HERE FOR TICKETS. You can also watch the video, which we think is rather cool. Both David Grant and Eddie Nestor on BBC Radio London gave us a lovely plug on their shows today.
Of course there are plenty of other gigs going on in the Borough, if Ska isn't your thing. Here is our round up. A full list is on Lemonrock so click here
You, me and and George the dustman, who lives up the road, all pay the wages of the people who run the BBC. If you live in London and have a TV licence, you are a stakeholder in the organisation. The BBC is split into three main parts, TV, National Radio and Local Radio. In London, our station is BBC Radio London. During my life it has had various guises, including GLR, Radio London, BBC London Live 94.9 to name a few. What does it do? Well this is what Wikpedia says
The station's output is generally similar to that of other BBC local radio stations and targets a broad, mainstream audience. While previous incarnations of the station offered a more diverse range of programmes for London's various ethnic, religious, social and cultural communities, specialist programming now remains in a smaller form and is mostly broadcast at weekends.
What does this actually mean? It means that there is a public service broadcaster, funded by all of us, with a misson to inform and entertain the people of London. London has several commercial stations. There is Capital Radio, which plays chart music. There is LBC, which runs phone in shows, often with rather provocative presenters, on both the left and right, who's mission is to give a platform for anyone who has a grumble. As such, I think it is fair to say that those areas are well served.
So what should be the USP of BBC Radio London? The current management had a revamp and massively increased the local sports coverage. They do this reasonably well, especially with the teams in League one and two, which don't normally get too much coverage. I have a bugbear that they do nothing on the lower non league teirs, where teams such as my team Hadley FC play in the Southern League Central Division.
They also brought in a few younger presenters, from more diverse backgrounds, Such as Salma El Wardarny and Shay Kuar Grewal, moving established presenters such as Robert Elms and Jo Good to the further reaches of the station. A big change at this time was a change to the way music was selected for the station. Previously presenters had pretty much carte blanche to play the music they felt appropriate for their audiences. Robert Elms was the first presenter to play Amy Winehouse and Gary Crowley, probably helped launch more bands than anyone over the course of his time on the station. Now it seems that an algorithm picks most of the music. On Robert Elms show, which is now Friday-Sunday, computer selected music sits jarringly within the show. Songs which form the playlist are played to death. Some of them, I quite liked the first time I heard them, but after the 20th time in a week, it gets rather wearing. That the music that is played is totally out of kilter with the audience is bad enough, but what really irks me is that Radio London should be giving airtime to good, upcoming bands from London. Music is a huge revenue generator for the UK PLC. The BBC, as a national institution, should be supporting up and coming UK musicians and helping them develop their careers. Local radio is the absolute perfect platform. Just about the only chance any up and coming band has to be heard is Jess Iszat's @BBCIntroducing slot. Whilst this is clearly a good thing, the bands featured get one or two plays on the radio if they are lucky. This is nowhere near enough to help build a profile.
I was quite upset to see that despite having over 180K followers, the Twitter account for BBC Introducing last posted on the 8th April. It should be posting every day, signposting new bands and new music. As someone who runs a music studio, plays gigs at grassroots venues and does my best to seek out new music, I know for a fact that BBC Radio London is failing completely to do even the basics properly when it comes to music. A few weeks ago, I joined a network of Independent London musicians called Band Up. They put a shout out for bands to submit one or two spotify tracks for an independent play list. I submitted The False Dots Sci Fi girls to the list. Within two weeks there was over 19 hours of music from up and coming London bands. Sure, not every track is wonderful, but some are absolute gems. You can check out the BandUp playlist here. Bandup also host gigs and play the list on random shuffle between bands. A few bands that I rather like on the list is the quirky Arctic Monkeys vibes of the Neversheds (great name), the semi psychedelic vibes of 1988 and the catchy popy vibes of November Now. We've pretty much had the list on rotation in studio reception, since then. As a studio, we feel it is important to give up and coming bands an airing. Wheras, when Robert Elms was on during the week, he'd regularly have new artists in the studio doing live sessions, promoting shows etc, that part of the content has gone completely. Gary Crowley gets an hour on Saturday lunchtime, not enough time for his talents. I like Eddie Nestor who nicked Robert Elms slot, but the music on his show is dire. Eddie should spend at least 30 minutes a day on London culture on his 10am-2pm slot and should be given free reign to play the music he likes, as well as up and coming artists of a suitable genre.
In my household, the station has become a running joke. My kids ask me if Robert Elms and Eddie Nestor actually like the rubbish they are forced to play. As both know there onions, it is clear the answer is no. Just how bad the situation has become was brought home to me recenty. My band, The False Dots, released our new single We All Love A Party. As we think it's a rather good tune, we employed a professional plugger to assist us. As the list of interviews came in, it was hilarious to see that whilst stations where presenters that have taste and latitude, such as Channel Radio and Truro Radio were delighted to give interviews and play the track, when I asked Steve the Plugger about BBC London, he just laughed and said "All they are interested in is there ****** playlist, which is picked by robots".
Click for tickets
The single has been doing really well, it is ironic that it has made the playlists of radio stations in Brazil, but we cannot even get near a play in London. I wouldn't mind if great young bands were keeping us out, but when all we get is the likes of Lewis Capaldi and Beyonce on rotation, it is quite ridiculous. When band like us have gigs at iconic London venues, such as The Dublin Castle, with venues under massive pressure to survive, surely promoting a few London bands playing grassroots venues should be central to their mission. If someone at the station actually listened to the track and said "Sorry you are rubbish" that would be fine, but no one is interested in London music and bands.
I am not one of those fools who calls for the BBC to be defunded. I want it to be fixed. I want local radio to properly serve our local community and our culture. The organasation is obsessed with cost cutting, when it should be obsessed with brilliant content. I truly believe that if the BBC wants to fight off those calling for it to be broken up, they can only do it on the front foot, by demonstrating that they are essential to the cultural life of our country and that they are keeping us at the heart of world culture.
Just for the record, these are all the stations in Brazil playing The False Dots. How on earth can it be easier to get our friends in Brazil to play the band than our local station?
Radio stations in Brazil. Spot plays are on rotation.
A 1967 Edgware Town programme with MacMetals advert
Since 2019, I've been a season ticket holder at Hadley FC, in the Southern League Central Division 1, which is at the 8th tier of the football pyramid. It is totally different. You can have a beer when you watch the game. You don't have VAR. It's £50 for a seasons worth of games. At the end of the season, one lucky season ticket holder gets their name pulled out of the hat and wins £1,000. Crowds are around 150. Games are at 3pm. The clubhouse sells reasonably priced beers. The Gate is over the road, if you want lunch before or dinner after. The quality of football is surprisingly good. I also bought a small shareholding in the club, to help them fund ground improvements. The club were promoted from the Sparten league a couple of years ago. If they get another eight promotions, I'll be quids in when a rich investor buys them! But that is not why I did. In truth, it is an interest free loan from me to the club,which means I can have a better matchday experience. No one is in non league football for the cash. There are no Glazers ripping off fans for overpriced t-shirts. There are no prawn sandwiches.
My affinity with non league football is equally deep routed, my Dad's company MacMetals used to sponsor Edgware Town. Several of his staff were players. I'd get taken to the Old White Lion ground as a kid, get a lemonade and a bag of crisps and watch the game, often in the company of the boys who worked for Dad. He didn't like football, so would sit in the clubhouse, chat, smoke cigarettes and drink beer. He always impressed on me the importance of supporting a proper local club like Edgware Town. He had no time at all for the big clubs, but liked the atmosphere around non league teams. Edgware Town would play at the Old White Lion ground, behind The White Lion Pub. It was a proper old school non league ground. Sadly like so many, it has long since been bulldozed and developed.
How different is supporting Hadley and Edgware Town, to the other club I follow. Since I could walk and talk, I've supported Manchester City. As soon as I started ggoing to see City, in the 1970's, I was more drawn to glamour of what was the first division#. I liked going to watch Edgware, but when I started going with mates to watch matches at Highbury, Stamford Bridge, White Hart Lane, I was seduced by the bright lights and glamour. In my later teens, twenties and thirties, I rarely went to football. I played for many seasons for Hendon School old boys, even though I never went to that school. I had mates there and it worked for me. They played in the AFA League, which meant they played on a Saturday at 3pm. I'd catch the odd game if Hendon were not playing, but I got very much out of the habit of going to games. I stopped playing 11 a side in around 1995, when my daughter was born as I couldn't justify writing off every Saturday with the family. I started going to watch the odd City game again and also would watch Barnet FC at Underhill. I'd also get to see the odd Wrexham game with my mates from North Wales.
At the time, City were in the doldrums. I loved going to the games, but watching the repeating pattern of relegations, false dawns, promotions, then another relegation, as Manchester United got ever more successful was grating. I prided myself on the fact that as a City fan, at least no one could ever suggest I didn't have a real love of the club or was a glory hunter. Games at Barnet were always fun. A beer at The Red Lion before, ninety minutes of mayhem, then a beer at Ye Olde Mitre and a curry, before making my way home. What was not to like?
Over the years, things started to change. Following the Taylor report, segregation and all seater stadiums, it became almost impossible for me to get a ticket to see Manchester City in London in the City end. Teams had allocations and a big team like City had more than enough regulars to fill this. I stopped playing to spend time with the family, going to Manchester every weekend was not really feasable. I started going to more Barnet games. When my son was born in 2000 and started to take an interest in football, I took him to watch Watford play City. He decided that this was better than Barnet, so we went to Watford for a couple of season for the odd match. We also started making trips up to the Etihad. By the time he was taking a proper interest, City had been taken over by the current owners. They were no longer a Yoyo club, but one where a bad season was a mere place in the Champions league and an average season was 'just a cup'. I'd still catch the odd game at Barnet with mates, but then they decided to move to The Hive. It was a soulless ground, with no proper pubs nearby. I hated it. The only time I've enjoyed watching Barnet was with the Wrexham boys in the away end. Like City, Wrexham have been snapped up by rich owners. They have had two promotions, which meant this season, we couldn't get tickets. As City have become ever more successful, even getting tickets, as a member, for home games has become difficult. Champions League group games and FA Cup matches are usually OK. Midweek games are also available, but it is almost impossible to see a big game on a Saturday, if such a thing ever happens.
If I was still playing for Hendon, the 3pm kickoff would hardly affect my watching City now. They hardly ever play on Saturday at 3pm. They have six home league games left. Not one is at 3pm on a Saturday. Although a convenient time for all fans, the TV companies deem it not suitable for big games. When you go to a game, you can't buyt a beer and take it with you to your seat. At half time, there is a desperate scramble to get a pint, then you quaff it as quickly as you can. You pay a small fortune for a seat, but you have no idea what is going on when the VAR signs come up. Sometimes it is obvious, but you never get to "see the lines" for offsides etc. When I saw Spurs knock City out of the Champions League at The Etihad, following an obscure offside that would never have been given pre VAR, I didn't know what was going on, until we started listening to the radio on the way home. Don't get me wrong, I love going to football.
On Saturday, I went to Wembley to watch Manchester City FC beat Chelsea FC with my son and godson and had a wonderful day. Too much beer was consumed and so yesterday was a bit of a slow day. As Citys member, with a few match points, we got decent tickets without too much difficulty and left Wembley, after a tense game, with smiles on our faces. But the talk amongst the City fans was as much about how Semi Finals should not be at Wembley, as about the game prospects. Semi's were always at a relatively convenient neutral ground. Typically City Vs Chelsea would be at Villa Park, which was about an hour on the train for both.
Which brings us to the big talking point this week, FA Cup replays. The FA have agreed to abolish them from round one of the FA Cup. Why? The big boys get tired if they play too many games. Do they really? There was a proposal that the big boys in the UK all initially signed up to, to play in a European Super League. That would mean more games. So why does that not make the players tired? Could it be because they earn a shedload of money playing European teams. Big clubs don't play their best players in the early rounds of the FA cup. If they come unstuck and get a draw, they often still play the kids. For a team struggling in League 1 or 2, it is a huge financial benefit. Sadly looking after the less well off teams is not part of the deal. For a team like Hadley, getting to the first round of the FA Cup proper would be a massive deal. A kind round of draws is probably the only way, it would happen. If they did and somehow managed to draw the game, it would be a massive thing for the club. The FA chiefs simply don't care. Clubs have been saved from bankruptcy in the past following such events.
A friend asked if I thought football had lost it's soul? It certainly hasn't at Hadley. In truth, when I saw Kevin DeBruyne's reaction at the end of the Chelsea game, no one could say he's lost his soul. But the big TV companies, the offshore club owners, the gambling companies, the rip off replica kits, the corporate lounges, where people go and often only watch 20 mins of the game as they guzzle and booze, and the people in the FA, who should be defending the clubs who are on the brink, none of these has anything resembling a foot ball soul. None of them care for ordinary fans. Nothing would make me happier than if fans fought back, turned off the tellys, boycotted games and we got our game back. The sad truth though, is we are addicts. Most of us simpy couldn't bring ourselves to miss the game. The B*****rds know this.
I had a Eureka! moment this morning. Yesterday I went with my son and my Godson to watch Manchester City beat Chelsea in the FA Cup Semi final at Wembley. We drank far more beers both before and after the match than is sensible and we felt might fine for it. This morning was not quite so fine! We had some rather interesting conversations, including one on the topic of religious belief. Maybe it was the beer, but not for the first time, I found it impossible to lucidly sum up my relationship with organised religion. I was trying to find an analogy that suitably worked and ended up burbling nonsense.
This morning, I was thinking about steak and kidney pies, and I realised that this was just the analogy I need. Ever since I've been a wee nipper, in my mind, the perfect food is the humble steak and kidney pie. First of all, lets start with the perfect pie. It has crispy pastry, that is properly cooked, not burned, not soggy on top and that sort of soggy, gooey pastry on the bottom. When I go to a pub and it's served in a tin, with no bottom layer, to me it is not a pie and is a failure. Then there is the meat. It should be proper chunks of steak, no gristle, no bits that are chewy and look like macaroni. It should have about 3 parts steak to one part kidney. Again the kidney should not have gristly, chewy bits in. The kidney should taste properly like kidney, but not be over firm. Finally, there is the gravy. This should be slightly gooey, with the consistency of wallpaper paste, not runny. So that is the perfect pie. I dream of such a dish.
But then there is the reality. These days, the only time I tend to eat pies is at football, washed down with a beer. Any football fan will tell you that they are lethal. They are heated to the temperature at the core of the Sun and if you are not careful, you will get third degree burns. Often, you are starving hungry, as the alcohol tells your tummy to eat. You have to devise a strategy to eat it without inflicting damage. God help you if a gooey lump falls on your hand, or leg if you are wearing shorts. It is more destructive than napalm. And as for the quality. These days, many pies are mostly gravy and globs of gristle. They lack chunks and the kidney degenerates to a rather unpleasant sandpaper like material that is simply not pleasant in texture or taste. Occasionally, I'll see a "Special pie" in a pub, sometimes with the words "Homemade". They come out and what should be a really simple dish is spoiled. There is no bottom layer, the top layer is dry and unpleasant. The gravy is like water, the steak has gristle on it and the kidney is simply not properly cooked and smells of wee. In truth, I don't know if I've ever had the perfect pie. In my mind, I know what it is, but have I ever had one? Was there ever an era when they really did make proper pies? Don't get me wrong. I almost always enjoy them, but there is always something wrong. Just when you think you are there, you hit gristle.
The worst experience I had was in a rather pretentious restaurant. There was a special steak and kidney pie. When it came out, it had runny gravy, the top was slightly burned and there was no bottom layer. The steak was nice, but there was no kidney. I queried this with the waiter. He said "customers don't like kidney in the pie". I pointed out that it was called a steak and kidney pie, therefore it should have kidney. I then told him all of the other things that were wrong with it. The next thing I know, a burley chef appeared, with a snarling demeanour. He demanded to know what my problem was with the pie, so I told him. His response? I am a qualified chef, I've worked in some of London's best restaurants, who the **** do you think you are telling me how I should cook my food? I replied "The bloke who is paying your wages, and if you don't know that a steak and kidney pie is supposed to have kidney in it, then it's no surprise that you no longer work in London's finest restaurants and are selling defective pies here. At this, we were asked to leave. I refused to pay the bill, they threatened us with the Police, I said "Call them, I'll get them to do you for fraud for selling a mislabelled pie". We left, our wallets unopened. When we reached the pub down the road, my mates told me that it was the funniest thing they'd ever seen. As we'd actually all polished off our dinner and a couple of bottles of wine, and in truth it was quite tasty, it was a result. I could see other diners sniggering as myself and the chef argued.
When I got home, I made the mistake of telling my wife. I thought it was a victory, but she told me that I was an embarrassment and an idiot.
I was mulling this over. I realised that in many ways, I feel the same abut organised religion. I have this idealised view of what a religion should look like, what it should deliver, what priests should do and how they should make you feel. When I was a kid, I went to a faith schools. They told us that Jesus was the prince of peace, who came to the world to save us, died for our sins, so we could be free of death and open the doors to heaven to us all. The Priests were seen as beyond reproach. They nuns were ladies of faith, working hard to help save us. It was a compelling story, but like so may a pie, you hit a bit of gristle. We all know of the activities of certain members of the clergy. Then there is the dollop of molten pie that lands on your leg and scars you forever. I carry a lot of scarring and baggage with me as a result of my upbringing in a faith. Then there is that moment when you find, when you lift up the pie crust, there are no lovely tasty chunks of meat, just sandpaper gravy, it looked great but there is no substance. I had that moment when I was 16. I went to see our parish priest, to rent the Church Hall, so that the False Dots could do our first gig there. He sneered and said "Go and see the Union church, they need the money". So we did and our first gig was at the Harwood Hall instead. I didn't go back to The Sacred Heart until my Dad died and we had the funeral there. I had genuinely thought the priest would welcome local lads playing music in the hall. I decided he was a snob, uninterested in doing things for youngsters. He also abolished the youth club, where we played table tennis and snooker. To me, all the church was, was a tasty looking crust with nothing inside.
It took me a very long time to realise that despite the fact that I've spent my life being disappointed with pies, without the belief that there is, somewhere, that perfect pie and one day I will find it, life really is not worth living. I've come to feel the same way about religion. Maybe I am just fooling myself, but I need the concept of some sort of bigger picture. I've also come to accept that one piece of gristle, doesn't spoil a pie if it is tasty. Just discard the overly chewy bit and enjoy the good bits. There will be people who don't like steak and kidney pies, thinking WTF is he droning on about. Just as there will be people of no faith who ask the same thing. That is the great thing about life. To me, finding that perfect bit of kidney, amongst the juicy tender bits of steak, is better than finding a pearl in an oyster. But if you don't like pies of kidney, then you just won't get it. If you don't like it, do your really care if I do? That should be like faith. We should leave each other alone to work these things out and not get the hump when other people like things we find unpleasant. It's a pretty good mantra for both pies and life.
BTW, at the top of this blog is a picture of a Fray Bentos Steak and Kidney pie. I had one last week, for old times sake. For me, the experience was pretty much the same as when I go to Church these days. I can just enjoy it for what it is and accept it. If I do, I'll finish it happy and full. Or I can look at the numerous things they get wrong and feel cheated and irritated and not enjoy it at all. After I finshed it, I vowed that next time, I'd get some proper chunks of meat and kidney to add to it and make it perfect. But there would still be no bottom layer, once you start trying to fix things, can you ever really stop?
To celebrate the launch yesterday of The False Dots new single, We All Love a Party, I thought I'd put a little list of my favourite parties. So as to not insult any of my friend, who have had some great parties, these are my own parties, where there was some funny sort of anecdote or noteable event. I've also included, where there is one, a reference to a line in the song, which is a bit of a mash up of all the things that happened at parties over the years.
1. Let's start in 1966, I was four years old and my mum decided to have a birthday party at our house for me. She invited cousins and neighbours kids. We had trifle, crisps and sausage rolls, then played pass the parcel, musical chairs and other kids party games. It was the happiest day of my life. When all the kids went home, my mum surveyed the devastation left behind, and said "Never, ever, again". I was devastated, she was true to her word when it came to giving me birthday parties. Kids parties back then were simple affairs. These days they have bouncy castles, entertainers, etc. How times change.
That is the last line of the song, something she said on several occasions - read on.
2. Move on to 1967. My brothers were 21 years old. Much to her chagrin, mum had been persuaded to hold a party for them. It was probably the first grown up party I went to. It was a complete riot. My brothers were great musicians and both played guitar and sang, and all their mates joined in. They loved the skiffle songs of the late 1950's, such as freight train, and Irish classic such as The Wild Rover. I think that was the moment I wanted to join a band and play the guitar. At the time, our house had an inside loo upstairs and an outside loo. My Mum didn't like men peeing on the loo seat, so she put a sign up saying "Ladies loo upstairs, Men outside", as a result, the guys, not spotting the loo, just used the bluebell bed at the bottom of the garden. The line in the song "My brothers got their guitars and played a tune or two" came from that wonderful day. Again Mum said "Never ever again". But then Laurie and Frank got married and moved away shortly after. That was really my last memory of them both living in the house together. I realised that for me, parties are the way to go!
3. We are on to about 1973. I really couldn't recall why we had this party when I wrote the song, but it all came flooding back when my sister reminded me that my Dad arranged it as a fundraiser for the Catholic anti abortion organisation Life. He invited all of the local Catholics, the priest, the shoemaker, the bookie. I think they all paid a couple of quid to come in, then a small charge for drinks (except for the priests who got bladdered for free). All highly illegal, but Dad also invited all the local coppers who came in for free as well. He was crafty like that. My folks were staunch catholics and Dad was always doing things to raise cash for the church and it's organisations. This party and what happened in some ways forms most of the song. Once everyone arrived, it soon turned into what most parties did back then. People would smoke, drink too much, spill beer, etc. There was one little Irish fella, who always got drunk and started fighting the biggest bloke in the room. He was the Dad of one of my friends. He was a lovely bloke when sober, but used to lose the plot when drunk. His wife, a lovely lady, would usually spot him getting bladdered and claim to be feeling ill, to get him home. On this occasion, she was deep in conversation. Apart from that it was a great success, conga's up the road, my Uncle Micky doing the twist etc. At the end of the night, I turned to my Dad. I didn't really understand the issues around abortion as a ten year old. I said "That was great Dad, what do you think?". He said something that stuck with me forever. He said "What a bunch of hypocrites. If their daughter got knocked up, they'd all be the first to get them an abortion". I was stunned. I said "Why did you have the party then?". He said "I fancied a party and it was the only way I could get your mother to agree".
4. We are now up to 1977, I was 14. My sister Valerie was living around the corner in Hale Lane and was a trainee nurse. She had a party to celebrate her birthday. She had done an art degree, but couldn't get work, so was retraining. Half her mates were artists and musicians, and the other half were absolutely gorgeous nurses. For a fourteen year old boy, just into punk rock and discovering bits of my bodily functions that had lain dormant un til puberty, it was bliss. All of the family etc were asked. It was a blast. This was amplified by one of her friends dosing the punch with a huge dose of amphetamine sulphate. Until that moment, I was very anti drugs. I had a few glasses, as did everyone else, aunties, uncles, the lot. After a half an hour, I suddenly became aware that everyone was completely off their tits, apart from me(the spiking only came out afterwards). Until that point in my life, I'd always felt like an outsider, a weirdo. The effects of the drug made me feel like superman, not in a jump out of a window way. I became eloquent and confident. Everything became clear in my mind, for the first time in my life. (I co wrote a song called Fog about this, with Pete Conway - "The Fog is clearing to reveal, the last ten years I just can't feel"), My Dad, who'd been given amphetamines during the war, to keep him focused on bombing missions, realised what was going on, but kept schtum. I suspect the RAF lads would do the same things in their parties. To my amazement, he wasn't cross with Val, he thought it was hilarious. My mum took a dimmer view and would say "Valeries boyfriend spiked us all with LSD". She could exaggerate at times. I'd never known anything like it. One thing I did realise was that the drug gave me the confidence to try and chat up some of the rather attractive girls at the party. I failed miserably, but just knowing I could try was a massive turning point in my life. Many years later, I found out that amphetamine sulphate is used as a treatment for ADHD. I think I understand why.
5. We are now up to 1983. I was 21 years old. I decided to have the party, to end all parties at Bunns Lane Works, where our studios are. The idea was simple. We'd set up a PA system and do a gig in the yard. We'd invite all of our friends and have a barbeque and dance and party until the early hours. At the time, we had a great bunch of friends and we mobilised them to the full. I was going out with the lovely Lorna at the time and her sisters boyfriend offered to do the cooking, amongst others. He said that he had a special stew he'd bring for us as part of the food. We decided to play at around 9pm, starting as the Sun set. We had the rather wonderful Venessa Sagoe singing. It was her first gig with The False Dots. She'd been great in rehearsals, but would we cut it live. We expected around 100 people. As we prepared to go on, the food started to be served. We planned to play for an hour. As we progressed through the set, which was rather good, if I say so myself, an odd thing happened. I've always tried to be sober when we play, but as the set progressed, the scene started to resemble Shaun of the Dead. About half of our guests started to resemble zombies. One fell asleep with is head in the PA bass bin. People were staggering around aimlessly with blank expressions on their faces. New people were arriving who were sober, but it was an odd scene. We had no idea what was going on. As the set finished, I got urgently summoned to the M1 Motorway, which passes by the yard. My brother Laurie was doing the Shaun of the Dead impersonation in the fast lane and was about to be arrested. I hopped over the fence and there were two burly traffic cops restraining him. I looked at him and said "Laurie WTF are you doing?". He just dribbled and gibbered. Laurie is normally very eloquent, so I was taken aback, but I knew I had to think fast, or he'd be in trouble. So I said to the Copper "So sorry mate, he's my brother, he's harmless but he's not the full shilling, he must have got out", The coppers, not wanting a load of paperwork, bought the story and said "Get back over the fence and we'll help him get over". So we were on one side and they got him and literally slung him over. We then got his wife to take him home. I was still un aware what was going on, but a mate Dermot, who'd helped organise the party told us. Lorna's sisters boyfriend had laced the stew with a huge dose of opium and everyone who ate it was incapacitated. Half of them were asleep, some were throwing up. I was gutted as Lorna had a big helping and was really ill. No romantic ending for my birthday. Having said that, most of the party goers didn't have any and it was a superb party. Allegedly it could be heard in Burnt Oak. It was the first of many parties at the yard. These two parties showed the two sides of what happens when people spike parties. Luckily no lasting harm was done. By the time we finished playing the culprit was long gone! It was one of many parties my sister Caroline threw up at, but this one wasn't her fault. I got a reference in the song to this habit of hers.
6. Fast forward three years to 1986. I was with Clare, now my wife, Venessa had sadly long since departed and the band was going through a rather unfortunate detour. We'd expanded to a nine piece setup. We had a brass section. We were doing covers such as Take it Easy by Prince Buster, Low Rider by War and a smattering of Dots classics, but it wasn't a happy time for me. As was the way, I arranged a birthday party. My great mate Brian Shillibeer was working as a bartender at a cocktail bar (I think) and suggested we have a gig and a cocktail party. He got a mate to come and do mixology. We did the obligatory gig, and Dermot organised a barbeque with a spit roasted pig. We told everyone that we'd supply the mixers but they had to bring a bottle of spirit. Anyone bringing beer or wine would be sent home. It was amazing, great fun. My good mate, Ernie, made a great display of pyrotechnics, scaring the living daylights out of some feint hearted mates. Someone dared Laurie to do his Motorway trick again, but he was better behaved. It was a great night. It was perhaps the last big night like that, with the band at the centre for a very long time. No spiking required! By about 4am in the morning, a hard core was left. We started playing a card game, we called "The Barrel of Doom". There was a rusty rainwater barrel outside, and the loser had to go in and completely submerge themselves in cold water. The game ended, when Brian lost three times in a row. In the morning, he emptied the barrel and was disgusted to find several dead and decomposing rats at the bottom of the barrel.
7. There's a bit of a gap here. We are now in 2002. It was my 40th birthday. I'd not had a mega party for a decade or so. It was time. Smiths Coffee had recently moved out of Bunns Lane Works and we had access to their unit, so we transformed it into a night club. I asked all my family and friends. The band was back together, with Paul Hircombe, Fil Ross, Tony Cavaye and me. We were joined by Huw Lloyd-Langton of Hawkwind for a jam, then we did an open mic, where everyone got up and did their bit. It was one of the last parties my mum came to. It made me realise just how much I like having a good party. Perhaps the funniest moment was when a mate took some pictures of the crowds. One picture was of a friend, sitting on the knee of our kids rather voluptuous nursery school teacher. Lets just say there was rather visible evidence that he was enjoying sitting there. Nothing happened, but I believe he had to buy the photographer a fair few beers to delete the picture and not show it to his wife.
8. Fast forward to 2016. It was Clare's 50th birthday. We got the Joe Angel band, a brilliant reggae band to perform in the back garden and asked all our friends and family. We got brilliant Sri Lankan caterers. All our friends and family came along. We did up the garden specially, installing a lovely gazebo. My daughters were 21 and 19 and my son was 16, it was great having them join in the revelry. We danced until the early hours, outside until 11pm and then inside. I have lovely neighbours.
9. And on to 2022, my 60th. We hired The Bohemia in Finchley, one of my favourite pubs, we got Lee Thompson and The Silencerz to play and The False Dots supported them. It was wonderful. I thought a lot about my Dad that night. He was the younger than me, when he had that bonkers party in 1973. He seemed really old to me! Clare is very into a good party. I wonder how my life would have been if I'd married someone, who like my Mum hated parties? My mum hated chaos, which is a key feature of any good party.
10. And finally...... (well who knows how many instalments of this are yet to come), about six weeks ago, I did something I've always wanted to do. When we wrote "We all Love a Party", I decided that we'd make a video where we had a real party. I wish, in some ways, I had videos of all the moments above, that could have been edited into it. But Hey Ho, only memories exist. But we had a party that went on until 4 in the morning and this was the result. Find out more about The False Dots and forthcoming gigs by clicking here.
How proud am I? Today is the big day! My band The False Dots have released our first single of 2024 and it's called We All Love A Party. For me, the song is more than just a nice tune. Over the last few years, it seems to me that everyone has become more angry, less tolerant and dare I say it, less fun. When we were plunged into lockdown, I had hoped that a period of introspection would make us all more chilled and happier. It seems the opposite has happened. Many of us seem to be so uptight. Everyone seems to take offence at everything. We are suspicious of strangers, we are intolerant of people begging, if we see or hear our neighbours enjoying themselves, we get irritated. In short, we need to chill out.
In July of last year, I was rehearsing with the band and we were discussing my forthcoming birthday. We got onto the subject of parties, not raves, but the parties we'd have at our homes in the 1960's and 1970's when all the rellies, friends and neighbours would come around. It would all start terribly politely, everyone in the best clothes (a concept that now seems prehistoric). The food would include such delights as cheese and pineapple hedgehogs and mushroom vol-au-vonts. Everyone would be smoking and full ashtrays would get knocked over. Older rellies may smoke pipes and more well to do, would have a cigar.
The music would be vinyl, and it was a constant battle for the turntable between the youngsters, who might want to play Marvin Gaye and the oldsters who wanted Englebert Humperdink and Paddy McGinty's goat.
The drinks would be things like snowballs (Advocaat and lemonade - many people's first cocktail!), Babycham, Woodpecker cider and Watneys Party 7 beer. As the evening went on and people drank, the behaviour would get worse. Beer would get spilled, people would get tipsy and embarrass themselves. As the night wore on, you might get a conga up and down the road or a scuffle. In the morning, the house would look like a tip.
We were full of reminiscences of this and I decided to write a song to celebrate this culture. The result is We All Love a Party. About six weeks ago, we filmed the single. We wanted to show a real celebration, so we simply invited a bunch of our friends down, had a party and filmed it. The band played for a while and then we played the finest Ska music. Max Sarychkin, who is a talented filmmaker, filmed and edited it all up. Today is the culmination of that. Here it is, we think its is rather good. We all need to have a bit of a party and chill out.
When we started recording the track, last August, we made a short video showing the process. To me, it is fascinating seeing how it has progressed.
And finally, why not come down and see the band next Friday, 26th April at The Dublin Castle. If you want a great music scene in London, go to gigs and support bands like us! - Click Here for Tickets
Today is a sort of special day in pretty unspecial sort of way. It is the day that I close the book on something that for the past four months has been a major focus of my life! But I have learned that when you turn the page, you have to close it, learn the lessons and move on. A new chapter starts tomorrow. I hope that it is a better chapter and the lessons learned have paid off. One of the things I've come to realise, through the therapeutic value of writing this blog for sixteen years is that once you've written a blog and published it, it is done (unless as happens occasionally some kind soul points out a factual mistake that needs correcting). Once it's published, it's done. Sure sometimes, months or years down the line, I'll revisit and rejig a blog, but this is only when there is a sound reason and things have changed. One good example of this was a guest blog by Audrey Shaw in 2010, which I updated with pictures and a narrative, after she passed away in Covid. It was in effect a new blog and a very suitable memorial to a loved member of our community. But it is only ever really when there is such a sad occasion or if a campaign reaches a conclusion and a blog needs an update that I do it. It has got to the stage that I almost instantly forget what I wrote and the research I did after I publish it. If I do a Saturday List, I now have to check it's not been done before.
But blogging is only one aspect of my life. For me, the major part is music. I play in a band called The False Dots and run a music studio called Mill Hill Music Complex. Whereas I've only written the blog for sixteen years, these have been a big part of my life for 45 years. A friend suggested that I contact the Guinness Book of Records as the person who knows most musicians on the planet. We have 250 bookings a week, with around 1,000 people passing through the doors. Most come regularly and we get to know them. Some have been coming for decades. I try and talk to as many as possible, as sharing info is the best way to get on. Music is, in some ways, the opposite of blogging. When you write a song that is good, the last thing is you'd do is forget about it! Most of the top stars you see have 5-15 great songs that punters expect to hear every time they play. Steve Miller once described The Joker, his big hit, as his Albatross, quickly adding that he'd never dream of leaving it out.
But, there is another side to this. When you release a new album, single or song on digital platforms, it becomes the focus of your efforts. If people are going to listen to your music, you want them to listen to this first and you hope it goes viral. On December 15th, The False Dots released a single digitally called Sci Fi Girls. This was our first full digital release and we were most excited. We also released a video and we thought it was all pretty good. It was well received and got some nice things said by the critics. For us, it was an experiment as well. We wanted to learn what works well marketing a digital track and what doesn't. The track was produced by guru producer Boz Boorer and was part of a session we did at his studio in Monchique, Portugal. I thought it was the strongest song we had recorded. It's a bit of an outlier in our set, Something written recently but very much in our 1979 style. Our new songs have a real Ska/reggae/punk feel to them, we've even recruited a very talented trumpet player, Tom Hammond, to give them an authentic feel, but Sci Fi Girls was a mash up of T-Rex, Psychobilly, Sweet, Glam and Punk. It has been a highlight of our set for the last year. I think it has one of the best intro's of any song and when friends heard it, the unanamous verdict was "That's Mad!", most of which was down to Boz Boorer's amazing production and Theramin playing.
But tomorrow is a new day. We have a new single out, one very much in line with our new style of music and one which showcase's our Tom's amazing trumpet playing. Anyone who has seen us, knows that it is already a firm favourite. So today is the last day that we will plugging Sci Fi Girls. What, are we replacing it with? Well check back here tomorrow. And if you want to catch the False Dots live, make sure you get yourself a ticket to see us on Friday 26th April at the Dublin Castle. Tickets are selling fast, so make sure you don't miss out CLICK HERE FOR TICKETS
And for the final time, here were are plugging Sci Fi Girls. Please have a look at the video and a listen on Spotify, or download on iTunes!
