I bumped into a friend who is a Labour activist in Mill Hill yesterday. She was devastated. She told me how she felt that as the margin had been 106 votes, she felt personally responsible for not working harder on the campaign. Well for her and all of the other people who feel rather sad, here's a blog which might bring a little cheer to you. I've closely watched Matthew Offords career and there are many people who his lifestyle and his policies will make a big difference to. These are the people Andrew Dismore ignored.
Sports - Andrew Dismore was not known for his sporting prowess. Unlike Andrew, Offord is a keen sportsman. For a while, he wrote a fascinating blog on the Hendon Times detailing his love of racing fast yatchs in races around the coast such as the Fastnet. This is clearly going to lead to a massive boost for the large yatch industry in Hendon. Maybe Matthew will propose to tranform Burnt Oak, Graham Park and Colindale into a huge boating lake. It could become the St Tropez of London. I'm sure Matthew would be more than keen to see all of the residents of the decent social housing in Burnt Oak happily rehoused elsewhere in the Borough.
Wine Merchants - Andrew Dismore was not known for his support of fine wine merchants. Matthew on the other hand knows his Merlots from his Chardonnays. I expect a huge boom for the sellers of better quality plonk.
Cheese Merchants - Andrew Dismore made many interventions in the house of commons during his career. None of these supported the sellers of High quality cheese. Matthew Offord on the other hand is extremely fond of high quality cheese. He has commented on many occasions that it is a shame that Mill Hill Broadway doesn't have a decent cheese shop. I expect this to be rectified forthwith.
Building Contractors - Unlike Andrew Dismore who had no interest in the building contracting industry, Matthew Offord singlehandedly has done more for this sector than anyone else in Barnet. He masterminded the Aerodrome Road Bridge replacement contract. Whilst stingy old Barnet Council only wanted to pay the poor contractors £12 million, Matthew oversaw the deals with the contractors. Luckily for the builders, they were able to extract another £11 million with Matthews help.
Stingy bosses - Andrew Dismore never stood up for the rights of stingy bosses who wanted to pay bad wages. Matthew Offord on the other hand was a keen architect of the Future Shape Outsourcing program in Barnet. This will mean Barnet can get rid of lots of council employees and give the contracts to stingy contractors who will pay their staff a pittance. It is good that after 13 years of Labour, these bosses now have someone in Parliament who understands them and will stick up for them.
Jacuzzi party hosts - Whilst Andrew Dismore has never ever made a single public statement about Jacuzzi Parties, all of my friends who are local Tories, tell me that Matthew is rather partial to Jacuzzi Parties (sadly I've not been invited to any of these). They tell me many stories of the happy times Matthew has had at these parties.
So there you go, it's not all bad news. With Matthew in charge we'll all be living in the St Tropez of London (apart from those of us rehoused in rabbit hutch flats). We'll be drinking red wine and eating cheese at our Jacuzzi parties, whilst being entertained by stingy bosses and building contractors who are flush with cash. Roll on Camelot !!!!
2 comments:
Not much to laugh about this weekend but this certainly did the trick. Except it's not funny, really, is it?
Now he is my MP I expect him to make himself known to me, have a contact e-mail address and reply to my e-mails when I e-mail him about policy, even if he doesn't back all the proposals I have suggested.
There are a lot of things that need sorting still.
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