Have you met him? Did you know he lives in Mill Hill? Sadly I do. Who is he? He's the most boring man in the Universe. If you are extremely unlucky you may meet him. Who is he? Well I wouldn't be so unkind as to say. I didn't christen him with the name, but it is so appropriate.
The Most Boring Man in the Universe
I'm sure you know the feeling,
the desire to get away,
the impenetrable dullness,
of every word he says.
If you see him at a party,
you run for the door,
he's a psychic vampire,
a pathologic bore.
Once he's got you cornered,
You know there's no relief,
everybody scarpers,
laughing through their teeth.
And now he's found the internet,
there's a world of dull to drone,
with all of the charisma,
of a broken metronome.
As he prattles nonsense,
I thought I'd make a list,
Of words that would describe him
I hope you get the jist.
Dull, mundane and boring,
doltish, dim and drab,
trite, vapid and hackneyed,
Oh Lord call me a cab.
I wonder if he's conscious,
or knowing of his curse,
the most boring individual,
in Gods own Universe.
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