The Sun is shining. Today is a special day for me. It is my 28th Wedding Anniversary and also my Daughters birthday. A day of celebration. It is also the most solemn day of the year for Christains. A day of fasting and abstinence for Roman Catholics. This presents a dilemma for me, as someone of faith. Do I celebrate or do I fast? For me, faith ( a very different thing to 'being religious') is a huegely important thing. I was raised as a Roman Catholic, lost faith in my teens, nominally describing myself as agnostic or atheist. I felt rather comfortable with this, it seemed logical and sensible. I had no sense that there was anything missing in my life. I had fierce arguments with my Father, who was a devout Caholic. Mum let me be.
It all changed in 1996. My sisters husband Tim had a terrible accident. We althought he'd die. I was in a state of despair. I did what many do in times of crisis. I went to mass, said a prayer and made a deal with God. If Tim got better, I'd go to mass every week I could. I couldn't promise belief, that would be dishonest. But I would stick to the bargain. Tim had been knocked off a moped in Greece. He was a successful doctor in the USA, but he had brain damage and multiple broken bones. His blood pressure was zero when he was found and taken to hospital. We were told to prepare for the worst. But he hang in there.
He pulled through the immediate crisis, but couldn't speak and was immobile. Tim is 18 years older than me. I went to church every Sunday. I reminded God that the deal was that Tim had to get better. Lying in hospital, unable to speak or move was not getting better. Getting better was being Tim. It seemed like I'd be able to have my Sundays to myself. But I persisted. I'm too suprestitious not to.
After a few months, Tim managed a few words. He'd forgetten every word in the dictionary and had to relearn them. By sheer bloody mindedness, he got out of his bed and started to take tenuous steps. I sort of decided a Tim that could walk, talk and have a beer was good enough. It seemed we had him back. This took a long time, but it happened. Tim is a highly motivated and intelligent man,, He realised that he'd forgotten every word in the dictionary, so he bought a dictionary and set about relearning them. Due to the brain damage, he lost his medical license. He was determined to recertify.
To our amazement, he did this. He is now 78 years old and still working in an A&E department, saving lives. This is a very abridged version of the story. There are many ups and downs. But this is the reason I go to Church every Sunday. But there is another part to the story. I went, assuming it would be a waste of my time, a deal that I couldn't renege on but one I had to keep, as if I stopped and Tim dropped dead, it would be my fault. A sort deific joke on me. The worlds worst but most observant Catholic.
I found that taking an hour of my week to spend in a place of peace, being reminded that we should be good, caring human beings is actually a very beneficial thing. I picked up the bible and re read the gospels, something I'd only done in RE lessons at FCHS. What did I learn? Oddly that Jesus was a very different being to what I thought. A very different being to what the Religious right portrays him. A man who broke conventions and advocated non violence. A man who abhored snobbery and hypocrisy.
I have to admit, I struggle with the rituals, but it is time well spent. I am not blind to the issues with organised religion, but sadly these are because we dont listen. I have a friend who is a chair of a Mosque. We have great chats and conclude the same thing. Be a good person and love your family. Easter is a time of rebirth and in some ways I see parallels in what happened with Tim, which is why I thought I'd share it.
So that is what I will do. I'll make time for the 3pm service at the Church and be with my family as well. I trust that this will be ok with the boss upstairs, have a great Good Friday.
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