What is the worst nightmare of every musician, when you are doing a gig? The answer has to be "When your equipment goes bang and you can't carry on". In the illustrious history of The False Dots, it has happened a few times. I've also seen a few gigs where equipment has gone wrong and led to the cancellation or curtailment of fun. Luckily, I've never seen a tragic event. However, one of the saddest moments in the history of Mill Hill Music Complex was when one of our studio regulars, Andy McGoldrick, who'd been coming down for years, proudly showed us a lovely vintage amp he'd just bought. His band were having a rehearsal before a gig at Kenton. The amp had just arrived. Andy used one of our studio amps for the rehearsal, as they were in a rush and he didn't want to spend time fiddling with a new amp. He said they had a long soundcheck allocated. The next day, we got a phonecall, which was simply unbeleiveable. Andy had plugged his guitar into the amp and it had electrocuted him. This cast a long shaow over the studios. Some things are simply too horrible to contemplate. Soul legend Curtis Mayfield was left permanently paralysed after a lightiong rig fell on him at a gig. Such tragic events infor us of the risks of dealing with electrical equipment and heavy gear.
Most musical injuries are more mundane. Dropping amps on toes is a favourite of mine. The most embarrassing moment at a gig for me was at The Cricklewood Hotel in 1985. The venue had a stage made of beer crates. Half way through, it collapsed and I ended up in a heap on the floor, much to the myrth of other bands. Not only did I really hurt my elbow and my knee, but I broke my Fender Coronado guitar. Luckily, I had a spare. I was able to continue, but it was humiliating. I've always been wary of dodgy stages since. I am not alone. Musicians as illustrious as Chris Martin, The Edge and Axl Rose have all fallen off stages!
Nowhere near as painful, but still rather embarrassing was when we were playing at Tuba Gymnasium in Sweden in 1982. The venue was a big, rather unatmospheric school dinner hall. Until that point, all of the gigs on the tour had been great. This was a horrible venue and it was sparsely attended. As ever, we went for it, but after the third song, suddenly, the drummer stopped playing. I turned around to ask why. To my surprise, he was still bashing the kit. I was totally bemused. Craig, our other guitarist, pointed over at the PA desk. There was a cloud of smoke emerging and the engineers were running around like lunatics, switching things off. The PA had blown up and caught fire. That was the end of the gig. It was a real anti climax. It was odd, because I knew that the whole thing was going to be a nightmare from the moment I woke up. Mind you, I always feel like that before gigs and I am usually wrong!
Another gig that went horribly wrong was at The Bald Faced Stag in 1984. We had a residency there. Our bassplayer, Paul Hircombe, decided to get pissed before the gig. This was out of character, as Paul was not a drinker. Paul preferred to smoke spliffs, but he hit the cider. During the soundcheck, he knocked a pint of cider over both his Marshall bass amp, blowing it up and over our keyboard players keyboard, shorting it out. Luckily, there was a support band who lent us the gear, but it really cast a shadow over the gig, which was not one of our best. Oddly, the audience loved the show. Paul never got drunk again and was mortified. He was lucky that he didn't kill himself as the amp was soaked in cider.
Perhaps the most amusing accident I've seen at a gig, was when Generation X supported The Ramones at The Rainbow. Billy Idol was doing what Billy Idol does best. He was being a rock star, when someone at the front of the audience vomited on the stage. Billy saw this and decided that it would be pretty punk to run and do skid on the vomit, like kids do on ice in a school playground. Unfortunately, it was more slippery than Billy realised and he ended up on his backside in a pool of spew. I suspect it was Gen X's biggest gig at that time and I can only imagine what a berk he felt.
Another disaster story, which always amused me was told by a mate of mine who was a roadie for a quite well known metal band. He asked me not to say too much, when he told me the story, as he still works in the industry and this was a major embarrassment and was hushed up. One of his jobs was to look after the vans and make sure nothing got nicked from them. The band were doing a pretty major gig at a well known venue in a northern city. The band tour bus and the equipment van arrived. The band unloaded the gear. When the gear had been set up and the soundcheck finished, he went out to check that everything was in order in the van. To his surprise, when he checked the handle of the equipment van, it was open. Without thinking, he locked the van door and wandered off to get something to eat. About an hour later, someone came and said "Have you seen XXXXX", who was the guitarist. He hadn't. It seemed that the said guitarist had gone walkabout. As the time of the show got ever closer, the band were starting to get frantic. Where was he. About 30 minutes before the show started, someone went to see if he'd gone to the tour bus and fallen asleep. As they went they heard banging and shouting coming from the equipment van. He was quickly summoned. The guitarist had hidden a stash of some illicit substances in a cranny of the equipment van and had gone to retreive it. Whilst doing this "some idiot" had locked him in the van. He'd been stuck in there for hours and was on the warpath. He demanded a review of the CCTV to get to the bottom of what happened. Luckily for my mate, the show was looming and there were other things to do. As he was in charge of such things, he said "I'll go and check once we've got the gig going". Lucklily for him, the gig went well, the band were in a good mood after and he made himself scarce. The next day, the guitarist collared him and demanded that he told him what the CCTV showed. He said "Oh, it was really bad, you couldn't see the van on CCTV as the bus blocked the view". The guitarist fumed, The guitarist decided that it was a member of the crew, who had been "acting weird since" and demanded that they were fired. My mate said he always felt guilty for not owning up, but he reckoned he had bills to pay. He never locked a van door without checking after that. The guitarist decided that it was a member of the crew, who had been "acting weird since" and demanded that they were fired.
I know quite a few stories from our customers and their crews of such amusing incidents. Many stars are pretty touchy about their mistakes and miss steps. Some are sent into a rage or have a hissy fit over the oddest things. One superstar was playing the Nobel prize show and demanded the Nobel log backdrop was removed, as they did not want any photo's where they were standing onscuring the EL in Nobel, and they were labelled a nob. For some of the musical community, that would be a worse disaster than falling off the stage!
We hope it all goes rather smoothly, but you never know?
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