The Sunday Reflection #59 - Time to start liking myself?

 Yesterday, I had a party to celebrate my 63 years on the planet. We were away for my actual birthday, so we scheduled it for this weekend. I asked some of my favourite musicians down to play a few tunes, my band, The False Dots played a set and then we had a free for all karaoke session. We finally finished the fun at 2am. I am not at my brightest today, if truth be told. Today has been what one may call a slow day. 

Sixty three years old? How did that happen. As an August baby, I was always the youngest in my class. I am the youngest of six children, in short, I've always thought of myself as a youngster. Being in a rock and roll band keeps the illusion going. We play original material and many of the people who come and see us are decades younger. They don't seem bothered that we have a collective age of over 220 years old. When the False Dots played our first gig in 1980, the collective age was 73. Tom, our trumpet player, is only 40 so he massively brings the average down!

Last night we had  alovely mix of young and old for the party. Mates came, some of my staff came (it was at the studio), my kids and some of their mates came. We did the conga, we boogied. I was reflecting on this today, How lucky am I that my kids still want to hang out with me. We genuinely all really love and care for each other. One of the central ethos I hold dear is that I beleive life is to be enjoyed. Bad times, problems will come, you can't avoid that, but when youy can, let your hair down and have fun. My band makes fun music. We try and include everyone in the fun. Some of the songs have serious subject matter, but you can still dance to them. 

One of the biggest hangovers I've had is a life long one, from my education at St Vincents and FCHS. Not all, but far too many of the teachers spent their time trying to convince me I was a useless idiot, who had nothing good to offer the world. The sad thing is that I believed them for far too long. In fact, perhaps yesterday was the moment that I made a conscious decision to throw that particular piece of toxic baggage in the bin. I've no idea why God put us all here, but I suspect one of the reasons was so that we made kids who were better versions of us, in the hope that one day, the world would improve. Now sadly the world currently doesn't seem to be improving, but my kids are great. Therefore I've done my bit. They are not perfect, they are not angels, I am not blind to their faults, but they are good people. They are all adults and they are nice adults. I have never tried to live my life through my kids. I let them do their thing. The fact they want to hang out with me sometimes is something I take pride in.

I think back to the teachers who were not pleasant and who undermined me. None really seemed happy people. I suspect that none of them ever did the conga to ska music! It may seem a trivial point, but for me it is so important. It really is OK to like yourself, especially when you do stuff you like!

The Saturday List #496 - My top ten music producers

 I can't believe I've not done this list before. I have to give Gary Crowley a hat tip here. He is sitting in for Robert Elms and he is doing a fourfer (four songs suggested by listeners) of songs produced by legendary Rolling Stones producer Andrew Loog-Oldham. I am a fan of Oldhams work, but it got me thinking "Which producer would I do a fourfer of". I realised that there are plenty! Anyway here is my list and the songs that made me include them. They are not in any particular order, apart from Glyn Johns who is deffo my fave. I suggest you google all of them. I have not included artists who just produced themselves primarily. 

1. Glyn Johns His work is brilliant. In my humble opinion, he produced the best rock album of all time, Sailor by The Steve Miller Band, the best British single "Love and Affection" and his CV includes all manner of great artists, including The Who, The Rolling Stones. The Eagles, etc. His book Soundman is brilliant.

2. David Bowie. Clearly, everyone knows Bowie as an iconic performer. His work as a producer is overlooked by many, but he produced Transformer by Lou Reed, which is perhaps my second favourite rock album of all time. It is pure genius. He also prduced, in my humble opinion, Iggy Pop's finest records. And lets not overlook Lulu!

3. Chris Thomas. The producer of Nevermind The Bollocks by The Sex Pistols. Whatever you think of Rotten and co, the production is brilliant. The drum sound is monumental and Steve Jones guitar sounds massive. He also produced the Pretenders. I am not a fan of Pink Floyd, but he did Dark Side of The Moon and even Son of the father by Chicory Tip.

4. Paul Oakenfold. Producer of my fave album of the 1990's, Thrills Pills and Bellyaches by The Happy Mondays. Mostly known as a remixer, working with the likes of The Cure and U2, The Rolling Stones etc. I must say I think that the man is a genius.

5. Martin Rushent. Here's a list of a few of the albums he produced. You don't really need to add anything... Rattus Norvegicus, No More Heroes, Another music in a different kitchen, Dare (The Human League).

6. Mike Thorne. Produced the first three Wire albums and Tainted Love by Soft Cell. The influence of these is impossible to quantify and Thorne clearly 'got it'.

7. George Martin. Any list without George Martin would be the work of an idiot! Of course he is most recognised for his work with the Beatles. My favourite from his catalogue though is Wings Live and Let Die.

8. Harold Raymond Battiste Jr. Produced one of my favourite albums, Gris Gris by Dr John. Also produced I got you babe by Sonny & Cher. 

9. Shel Talmy. Produced You really got me by The Kinks ( which probably invented the sound of metal guitars) as well asMy Generation by The Who, just to name a couple.

10. Boz Boorer. Yeah, I know he's my mate, I know I am biased, but having worked with Boz, he is a genius. His work with British Rockabilly bands such as The Deltas and Howlin Wilf established Boz's credentials and his work with Kirsty MacColl is absolutely brilliant.

I'll finish with a track Boz Boorer produced for the False Dots. The intro to this is all Boz's work. Of course I am biased, but I think this is the greatest intro to any rock song ever.

Friday fun 29th August

 Today is one of my least favourite days of the year. The last Friday in August. When I was a kid, this meant that next Friday, I'd have a whole school year of misery in front of me.  We normally have a Friday joke. The biggest joke of all to me is I'm 63 and everyone my age and younger had a minimum of 12 years compulsory education. Now one may think that having to sit in a classroom and learn subjects, a few basics would have sunk into 99% of the population. Things like

History - Read a book on 20th Century history and see how things work out when fascists got elected.

Geography - Have a look at a map. See who are nearest neighbours are.They are the nations that it makes most sense to have easy trade and travel with if you want an economy that works.

Maths - The UK voted for Brexit which has meant the UK's GDP is 4% smaller than it was. This means for every £100 in every British persons pocket, £4 has simply disappeared. This has happened because we have made it harder and more expensive to do business with our closest neighbours.

Religion - The ethos of Christianity is summed up by the Beatitudes. If you don't sign up to these principles, then you are not a Christian. There is nothing in here about deporting refugees, starting wars, killing people etc. You can believe what you like for all I care. But at least learn what your religion stands for. 

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven": This refers to those who recognize their spiritual need for God and are humble. 

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted": This blesses those who lament sin, suffering, and loss, promising comfort. 

"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth": The meek are those who are gentle, humble, and patient, not given to aggression. 

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be satisfied": This describes people who deeply desire to do what is right and just. 

"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy": Those who show compassion and forgiveness to others will receive it in turn. 

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God": This refers to those with sincere, undivided hearts. 

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God": These are individuals who work to bring reconciliation and peace. 

"Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven": This blesses those who suffer for their faith and commitment to God's will.  

English Language - I'm dyslexic so I can't lecture anyone on this, but it does irritate me when people who rant on Facebook about being English clearly do not know how to use English properly. I am equally crap but I don't lecture people about being English.

English Literature - The UK has been responsible for some of the worlds greatest authors. Sadly it seems that half the people in the UK think George Orwell was the bloke who invented the Big Brother TV series, not the author of the best take down of fascism and authoritarian regimes.

Science - The basic principles of science is that you observe the results of actions and if these actions consistently produce the same result, then it means that there is a rule or law which means that is how things work. A good example is gravity. Other good examples are vaccines, that did such things as eradicate Smallpox. People who say vaccines don't work, need to have proper evidence. Rants on youtube and saying Auntie Nellie had a covid vaccine and still died, although very sad is not science.

Art - Isn't it sad that despite us all learning art at school, it seems most people who want to, are incapable of painting a red cross with straight red lines on roundabouts. Just out of interest, in America, you'd get nicked for flag abuse. These are the USA rules about displaying flags. 

If it wasn't so feckin sad, it would be hilarious.

And here is the music round up

Friday 29th

The Builders Arms 8-11pm Redriffe (Classic Rock)
Butchers 9.30 – 11.30pm Tracer (Indie Rock / Alt / Dance) cancelled
Lord Kitchener 8.30pm – late Aimi P (Covers - various, Solo Artist)
Barrington 8.30pm – midnight Karaoke with Johno

Saturday 30th
The Arkley Club 8.30pm – 11.30pm £5 cash on door) Back To The Legends Night (DJ)
Kings Head 8pm – late Karaoke

Saturday 30th
Butchers Arms 9.30pm – midnight The Looters (60s, 70s cover band)
Ye Olde Monken Holt 9.30 – 11.30pm Mike Gill (Acoustic)
Builders Arms 8.30pm – 11.30pm Horizon (Rock covers and original)
East Barnet RB Legion 8.30 – 11.30 Megan
Barnet South Club Bells Hill 8.30 Peace and Love UK
Toolans 9pm – 11.30pm Gaz Martin
The Arkley Club 8.30pm – 11.30pm £5 cash on door) Back To The Legends Night (DJ)
Kings Head 9pm- DJ Disco

Sunday 31st
Lord Kitchener 1pm – 4pm The Vinyls (Duo)
East Barnet RB Legion 2pm – 5pm Ela
Ye Olde Monken Holt, 7-9pm (TBC)
Butchers 8.30 – 11.30pm Butchers Arms Jam Electric/Blues/Rock (Full backline available)
Toolans 8.30pm – late Finbarr Black
B3 Lounge @ The Bohemia Bobby Quigley Organ Trio £10

SEP
Monday 1st
Ye Olde Mitre Inn, High Street 8pm – 11pm (stables room) Barnet Acoustics Session

Tuesday 2nd
 Black Horse 7.30pm – 11pm Open Mic Night (1st Tuesday of month)

Wednesday 3rd
Ye Olde Monken Holt 8.30 – 11pm  Open Mic Night

Thursday 4th Ye Olde Monken Holt 8.30 – 10.30pm Irish Session

And here's my tune for the weekend! As it's my birthday party this weekend!

Rock and Roll stories #44 - The awful truth is that there is nothing in the world better than being in a Rock and Roll band

 When I started writing this series of blogs, I simply wanted to convey what my relationship with the London music scene from June 1977 up until now has been like, using my band mostly as the vehicle to illustrate it. I have been rereading the series recently. In doing so, I realised I have done the whole thing a bit of a disservice. I have failed to truly convey how joyous and fun the whole thing has been since The False Dots first rehearsal on the 14th February 1979. It is so easy to get side tracked by the bumps on the road, the fallings out, the other things, that you forget to talk about just how brilliant it all really was. On the False Dots band site we have a list of gigs that we've done. Enough that I actually can't remember most of them, only the brilliant and the dire ones. We also have a list of all of the line ups. Again, with many of the members, it is easier to remember why they left than why we got them in the first place, especially when the fallings ou were massive. Some members like Dav Davies, our first gigging drummer left because he was moving away. It was sad, but it was just life. That was a rarety. Mostley it was the result of unpleasantness. But that always masked the good bits. I founded the band with Pete Conway, who had been a mate since I was four. We went through primary school and much of our secondary school together. There was a period of about a year, where Pete and I would meet nearly every day and write songs, etc. It was a brilliant period and we came up with some great stuff. Towards the end of this, Pete lost interest as he became more interested in females. I was not disinterested, but I managed to work around the two things. Pete was working for Dewhursts butchers in Mill Hill. He'd knock on our front door after work. I was at Orange Hill School. He'd come in and announce he had a new song he'd written the previous night when he'd got home. We'd go up to my bedroom, plug in our guitars, pen and paper to the ready and bash out chords and arrange the songs. Often we'd work until 9pm and then adjourn to the Railway or Green Man pub. We were only sixteen or seventeen, but Pete had money so we'd get served. I had a paper round, so I couldn't really buy many beers. I once asked Pete if he minded and he simply said "pay me back when we are rich and famous". 

We'd invariably get involved in scraps and scrapes. Often our behaviour was misinterpreted. One incident that really made us think was when we were walking to the Railway, probably in August 1978. As we crossed the footbridge over the M1, we noticed a Datsun car broken down, with an Indian family sitting on the verge, looking forlorn. When we saw this, we blooked at each other and laughed and started singing Breakdown by The Buzzcocks and pointing at them. The incident lasted about five seconds and we strolled on. It didn't really occur to us that not everyone knew the work of the Buzzcocks and we certainly didn't intend to be offensive. We'd just been listening to it before we came out. When I got back from the pub, I tuned into BBC Radio London, as I recall Robbie Vincent used to do a late night radio show. If I was working on a new idea, I'd listen to this rather than John Peel, who would distract me. The subject was racism in London. As I was listening, an Indian chap rang up and told how he'd broken down this very evening on the M1 at Mill Hill and him and his family had been verbally abused by aggressive skinheads, shouting racist abuse at him and his children from the overbridge. I was horrified, then I realised that the guy was referring to us. We weren't skinheads, we were punks and we hadn't abused them at all. I rang up immediately to put the record straight. Robbie Vincent, very sensibly listened to what I had to say and then said "Just put yourself in their shows for a second. They didn't know who you were. All they could probably hear was some sort of shouting. They had young children. You may have meant no harm, but if you can't see why they felt threatened, you are an idiot". As it was a central theme of the band that we were anti nazi and anti racist, I was horrified, but I realised Robbie Vincent was right. When Pete turned up the next day, we had a long chat about it. 

Like many such incidents, it inspired us to write a song, in this case, one we are still performing. I think it marks the maturity. The song is called Wrong and it is us berating ourselves for getting it wrong. In those moments, it seemed like we were channelling something bigger and better and it felt amazing. Like many of our songs from that era, we never performed it live and it sat in a dusty tin. I was embarrassed about it for a long time, but I came to realise that it is an important message. Just because you can smugly explain away bad behaviour, doesn't make it ok.  If you are in a band, you gotta not only be on the side of the good guys, you gotta make sure that this is clear. I've always had a soft spot for Robbie Vincent for putting me straight. 

If we fast forward to the current day, we don't have the same electric energy. I've never had Fil, Graham and Tom in my bedroom writing songs, then going for beers to discuss. We have a rehearsal and do it all there. But the energy when it works is the same. At our last rehearsal, we played through three new (to this set) songs for my birthday bash gig on Saturday. After we played Pusherman ( as song we last performed in 2009, before Tom joined and Graham rejoined, Tom beamed enthusiastically "They will love that". If we are still going in twenty years, I will have long forgotten that moment, but those are the really great moments.

The other really good thing about being in a band, is that you get to see other great bands on the way up. Tony Gleed at the Dublin Castle, recently shared with me the name of the band playing with us on 2nd November. They are the Double Nines and they are brilliant, click here to have a listen. The list of amazing bands the band have played with over the years is long, and includes The Foundations, Lee Thompson from Madness, Chris Spedding, Kate Nash, Huw Lloyd Langton of Hawkwind, Way of the West, Skaface, Radical Dance Faction, The Nice Men, Soldier Bike and The London Sewage Company just to name a few. Great young bands such as Divided Compass, Wine Mom and Inbetween Honey recently have been amazing. If I wasn't in a band, I'd been in watching quiz shows and doing soduku puzzles. It really is brilliant. So if sometimes, I seem a little grumpy about the band, it is only a small part of the story and not only has the band been great but it has been an education.

I'll leave you with some of our music. I chose this. Getting to this gig was a nightmare. Graham's car blew up. We had to take the gear on a bus, then in a cab. But we got through. That is just part of the story. I think it sounds pretty good for a 100% live song

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but......

 I've got friends across the political spectrum. I try and respect their views and agree to differ. I always take the view that they've walked a different path, met different people, seen things I haven't, that have lead them to form their point of view. Likewise, I expect them to afford me the same level of respect. So let me tell you of a few things that have informed why I hold the views that I do.

When we talk about immigrants and illegal immigration, I have illegal immigrants on both sides of my family. My Dad came to the UK in 1942 to fly Wellington bombers for the RAF in WW2. He was born and died an Australian citizens. He never sought leave to stay, work permits or anything else. He was informed on more than one occasion as he re-entered the UK from trips abroad that he was an illegal immigrant. Back in those days, you could have a conversation with the officer doing passport checks. Dad would inform them that that no one told him that when he arrived in 1942 and no one told him that he had to leave when his services were no longer needed. He also told them that if they didn't let him in, his business would close, his six kids would starve and the 10 blokes who worked for them would be unemployed. In the end, they let him in. Oddly, he'd actually had a British passport for a while, but he was a proud Aussie and I genuinely believed he liked a row. I suspect that he'd have enjoyed being deported. My mother was less happy with the situation. He was repeatedly told to "sort this out or we won't let you in next time". He just ignored them.

As for my mum's side. Her Dad was born in Dublin. At some point in the early years of the last century, he decided to move to England for work. He stowed away on board the ferry to Liverpool. I suspect he went to the pub first, and then hid in a lifeboat. After a day, the boat was still at sea. When he investigated, he found he'd boarded a ship bound for Argentina. He had to turn himself in. He was put to work stoking the boilers. When the boat got to Argentina, he got a job at a livery working with horses and earned the cash for his passage back. He entered and worked illegally in Argentina, but no one really seemed to care. Eventually, he made his way back to England, got a job in Oldham and married my Grandmother. Sadly, the first world war intervened and he was conscripted. He spent time in the cavalry, got gassed, which damaged his lungs and lead to an untimely death in his 60's. He died in 1948, so I never met him. He told my Mum that it was only by seeing Argentina, France and Belgium that he really understood the true nature of the world. He saw refugees leaving areas of France as British soldiers made their way to the battle front. He said that it was the look on the faces of women and children carrying what possessions they could muster, leaving ancestral homes, which made him a lifelong pacifist and socialist

I was always intrigued by my Grandfather. He came back a broken, bitter man. I once asked my Dad about him. Dad was respectful in his description (something my mum often wasn't). He told of when he went to ask for my mothers hand in marriage. My Grandfather was a difficult man. It was 1944 and Hendon and Mill Hill were full of soldiers. My Dad asked my Grandfather for a drink, I believe it was at the Midland Hotel. Dad was in his RAF Uniform. Dad was over 6' and an imposing figure. Grandad looked like a scruffy little Irish gnome with a big red nose. Grandad insisted on buying the first round. As he waited at the bar, two British Army officers pushed in front of him to get a beer. My Grandfather was fesity and told them, in his broad Dublin brogue to mind their manners. One of them told him to "F off back to Ireland with all his IRA mates". My Dad was about to clobber him, but my Grandfather put his hand up and said "Let me tell you about British Army Officers, I was in the Somme and Paschendal in the Cavalry, I saw thousands of fine young Britsih patriots slaughtered, because the British Army Officers had no care for their well being. And I can tell you one thing. If the IRA fight for another thousand years, they will never kill as many fine young British patriots, as the British Army Officer corps killed, with their incompetence, in the fields of France, now mind your manners and wait your turn". Dad told me that as he spoke, he seemed to grow and the officers seemed to shrink. As he finished speaking, Dad moved forward and said "Having some problems here Jim". The officers made a speedy retreat. My Grandfather said "Never forget, your brain is your finest weapon".

 I have tried to always remember where our family came from. I consider myself to be blessed to live in London, England, the UK. I am proud of our country and its acheivements. I am proud that my Dad and my Grandfather served. I have no issue with the St George's flag. We often fly a Hadley FC banner based on a St George's flag when The False Dots play live. It is my flag, as much as anyone elses. It is not owned by a small group on the extremes. My pride in the UK is based on the good things we have done for the world. The Nuremberg trials were conducted under English law, as it was deemed by the USSR, USA and France as the best way to ensure fair and transparent trials. Stalin had suggested to Churchill, that when the allies won, 50,000 Nazi's be summarily shot as a lesson. Churchill stated that the best revenge would be to deal with them fairly under international law. 

When people on the right appropriate Churchill's image, it is worth recalling this. Churchill believed that our most robust tools were international law and decency. We could try Nazi war butchers, as they had broken the Geneva convention. The United Nations convention on refugees, the European Court of Justice, etc have all been set up, so that we have recourse when governments go bad. It is no coincidence that nations such as Russia and Belarus refuse to sign up to these.

Which brings us to Nigel Farage. His 'plan' if you can call it that, is to withdraw from all manner of international treaties and conventions. He states that this will allow us to 'deport who we like'. Farage used the same logic when he promoted Brexit. He stated that we could leave Europe and still get exactly the same treatment, as they'd have no choice. Anyone who had villas in the EU soon learned that this meant that they couldn't live there anymore. I've just got back from France and now have to queue to get my passport stamped. This will get even more time consuming from October when new rules come in. As soon as we pulled out of the EU, the small boats started, as the French were no longer bound by EU rules in regards to stopping them. I've no idea what the law of unexpected consequences will mean, should Farage ever enact his plan. What leaving the EU has shown is that such things never work how the likes of Farage promise. With Brexit, Farage has simply blamed everyone else for not doing it the way he thinks it should be done. However, he has completely ignored the fact that issues like the Irish border is an almost intractable problem. 

It is clear from the polls that nearly a third of voters are attracted by what Nigel Farage has to say. He may well become the next PM. His back of the fag packet plans may indeed become reality. We may well withdraw from all manner of treaties, start deporting people who have fled the Taliban back to Afghanistan etc. It may not be 'our problem' when they are taken to a football field and summarily executed. It may well be that illegal immigration is stopped in its tracks. I don't know and you don't know. But what I do know, is that without a guarantee of our human rights, the government of the day will have nothing to worry about when it decides it doesn't like us and locks us up. People are already serving months in prison for posting inflammatory tweets. Just think for a second what a government could do, if there were no laws to protect peoples rights. I am not stupid, there are many people who have abused human rights legislation in cases that clearly have nothing to do with human rights, but annoying though that is, it is better than a nation where the government can do as it pleases without checks and balances from the judiciary.

Just imagine a situatiom say in 2031, where Farage has been PM for a couple of years, all human rights legislation has been repealed. Thousands of Afghan refugees have been deported and mowed down on their return by a gleeful Taliban. Despite all of the hullabaloo,the economy is tanking, the EU and post Trump America have placed restrictions on UK trade to show their disdain for our government (which is their right as soveriegn nations). The economy is falling apart, hundreds of thousands of key workers, who have kept the UK afloat doing vital jobs are leaving as they no longer feel welcome. Interest rates are going through the roof and hospitals are routinely shutting A&E as there are no longer the staff to keep them running. Although it may seems churlish to point out, without porters, cleaners, nurses, etc, they simply can't run. Foreign companies have stopped investing in the UK because they do not feel it is a place where business can be done safely and effectively. Old folks are being moved to army syle barracks and involuntarily euthenised, as there simply aren't the carers to cater for them and, well they have no human rights.  That could be our country. But look on the bright side. There will be a flag flying from every corner. 

God Bless the King!

What scares me most about President Donald Trump

 So you may be wondering what scares me most about President Donald Trump, I will tell you but before I do, I will take you on a couple of small deviations from the theme, which I hope will illiminate what I say later in the blog. It is said we all like a little deviation occasionally. I here President Trump certainly does, but hey ho, what do I know. Perhaps he just enjoyed a game of two of tiddlywink with Stormy Daniels  I was at the gym earlier, in the sauna and I was thinking about President Trump and, as often happens, strange thoughts came to mind as I was baked and dehydrated.

The first was, I wondered if he has ever been truly happy. I don't mean that he had a nice day, I mean a moment where he was blissfully happy. It has only happened to me once. It was some time, I think in the first six months of my relationship with my missus. It was an intense time in our relationship. I woke up one morning next to her, she was fast asleep with a sunbeam shining on her. She looked so beautiful, still and happy that I was overcome with joy just to be there. Despite the fact that I was a young man, at the time with raging hormones, I just lay there and appreciated the moment, realising my luck to be in the moment. She was blissfully unaware of what I was thinking. As I lay there, a little voice, at the back of my mind said "enjoy this moment, you might never be this happy again". A couple of months later, my Dad died and my age of innocence of the harshness of life departed. I'm not saaying we've been unhappy since, quite the opposite, but that was a moment of stillness, tranquility and happiness that surpasses anything. It was a brief view into how life could and should be if we could forget the petty thinngs, which don't matter, that bog us down. I think when we lose parents and have kids, it is impossible to truly have such a moment. 

The second moment? Fast forward fourty years. I was with my son, in a bar in Manchester, attached to a hotel. We'd been to football and were going to catch a train home. The bar was rather swanky and rather empty. We were tucking into burgers. As we sat there, two of the most physically perfect young women I've ever clapped eyes on came in. It was impossible not to admire their beauty. Shortly after them, a pretty average looking guy, not too much old than my son entered. He started chatting to them, they puchased a bottle of champagne, took three glasses and disappeared in the lift upstairs. I am not one to judge, but it rather looked as if it was a financial arrangement. Not knowing any of them, I'd be guessing if I jumped to any conclusions. But as I sat there, a strange thought came to my mind. Just suppose the chap had won the lottery or some such thing and wanted the best night of his life. I idly thought back to my own story above. I am sure the night before had been special, but it was that moment of trusting togetherness that really stayed with me. However desirable the trappings of money, I don't believe they can buy you that. 

Which brings us back to Trump. He's been married three times. He has a few kids. It would be theheight of ignorance to think he's not found some blissfully happy moments on the way. The trouble is that whenever he talks about sex, it never seems to come from a place of warmth and contentment. I don't intend revisiting his rather course comments. I am sure that such men say these things because they believe it makes them look strong to other men. In truth, it does the opposite (unless the men are complete imbeciles and have never had proper relationships with women). You may think I am a waek minded, browbeaten delta man, with low testosterone levels, who simply can't cope with the way alpha males behave. If you think that, you probably don't know me and you definitely don't comprehend my thought processes. But I wasn't brow beaten into these views ba a domineering wife. They were passed down to me, by my Dad who was a WW2 bomber pilot, war hero, successful busnessman and one of the hardest men I've ever met. Yet he always treated women with charm and respect and drummed it into me that men who talk badly of their wives are insecure and usually semi impotent fools, who lack the charm, intellect or sense to behave any other way. 

Which brings me to what scares me most about President Donald Trump. He is the most powerful man on the planet. Kings, Prime Ministers and Presidents kow tow to him. A simple presidential order can wreck the economy of a far flung country. What does he see when he looks around at the rest of us? He sees what he considers to be lesser men, with something that he doesn't really understand. He sees men who are happy in their own skin. Men who don't need to behave like bores or rely on the trappings of money to find a womans arms to take solace in. Trumps businesses are things like casinos, which rely on mugs to part with their hard earned money, golf clubs, where rich old men can discuss enlarged prostate issues with other rich men and property deals, where anyone who has dealt with estate agents, knows how much fun that is. What sort of strange hell is it, to have everything you want and nothing that actually matters. Maybe I'm wrong, but I actually feel sorry for the poor sod. I think he wants to be loved, which is why he keeps claiming he's ended six wars, but when it actually gets down to it, doesn't know how to do it. 

I wonder if he's ever made a bowl of chicken soup for Ivan, Marla or Melania when they are feeling poorly and sat with them to cheer them up? I wonder if he ever made his kids egg with toast soldiers when they had the measles? I can remember talking to one very wealthy public figure, who shared a nursery with my daughter. My daughter had been off for a couple of days with a cold. I told him, I'd made her egg and toast soldiers, as my mum did for me when I was poorly and a bit sad. He replied that he "could afford a nanny to that sort of thing". 

He thought he was really clever, but all I could feel was sorry for him. I suspect that if I ever met Donald Trump, I'd end up feeling the same, even though it is the last emotion he'd want from a pleb like me. But when it comes down to it. The scariest thing of all, which I've said in a very long and round about way, is that I think the man completely lacks empathy with the rest of us. With all that power that might just be a very dangerous thing.

The Saturday List #495 - Five random things I like, that no one got me for my birthday this year

 I had a lovely birthday thank you, but there’s ten guilty pleasures I have that no one got me. I’m not complaining, just putting this out there!

1. Coconut mushrooms. I don’t really have a sweet tooth, but I love these. They get hard to get every year.

2. A pint of draft Guinness. As we are in France it was not possible.

3. My Missus to say something nice to me, as it’s my birthday. She didn’t. Mind you that’s because she’s got a cold and lost her voice.

4. A Gibson 335 semi acoustic guitar. Would’ve been nice!

5. BBC Radio 1 to playlist the False Dots last single. The meanies. However Griff Griffiths did play it on his Rock Radio Uk show. Listen here, thanks Griff https://www.mixcloud.com/GriffGriffiths/griff-rocks-220825-kate-smurthwaite/?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0BMQABHkFnZFSeOQsZ8fKvxO46uarE0JzhbvFiPn2F97mAQ6pReHWRr3XaMWXN6YTw_aem_aX-d3e9Mf_979HYgLqyKOQ

Gods best practical joke on me!

 When I was a kid, my sisters were in the choir at The Sacred Heart church. I was jealous as they got a biscuit and a glass of orange squash after mass. Back in the 1960’s, this was a big thing. My sisters suggested I auditioned. Sadly this didn’t go well. The choir mistress told me I was tone deaf and didn’t have a musical bone in my body. I believed her. Although I occasionally sang for my band, the False Dots, this was only ever as a last resort and out of necessity and I always thought it sounded awful. I was happy playing guitar and doing backing vocals.

When Allen Ashley left the band in 2021, out of necessity I took on vocals.For me, it was a temporary thing to enable us to write new songs. But then two strange things happened. The first was that I started to enjoy it. The second, even more bizarrely was that audiences did. I found I have the perfect voice for our blend of ska/punk. It’s not great on more melodic numbers, but in our recent recording sessions I’ve realised it works really well on upbeat ska/punk songs. For decades I’ve been cross with God, for not giving me a great singing voice. His best practical joke is that he actually gave me the perfect voice for my favourite musical genre, I just never realised! But I’ve also realised it’s never too late. What do you think?

Does the human race have a death wish?

 There was an interesting article in the Guardian yesterday, on the subject of the role of carbon dioxide in mass extinction events in the Earths history. It is fascinating and well worth a read. Apparently there have been five mass extinction events in the Earths history. In each, the carbon cycle was disrupted. Volcanic activity played a major role in these events. The article posed the question whether the current global warming we are seeing could spark a similar event, without the need for any super volcanos. I must confess that I haven't got a clue. The article said that a super volcano was responsible for the biggest of these, and it produced enough lava to cover 48 states in the USA in a 1km thick sheet of lava. This resulted in 90% of life on earth dying out. The Earth was a very different planet then, but it seems sensible to do research and at least see if our activities as a race risks triggering such a disaster. The fact that we seemingly willfully are doing our best as a race to not take action, when the effects of CO2 production and pollution are there for all to see. It got me thinking "Has humaity got a death wish?". Sadly the more I think about it, the more it seems that maybe we have. Lets look at the evidence.

In the UK, we happily fill all our streams etc with sewage. We are a modern, developed nation, yet we are totally unable, as a country, to safely process all of the shit we produce. We expect clean water to come out of our taps, but happily fill every other source of water with sewage. How can this be the actions of a sane race?

Then there is the amount of CO2 we produce. There is eveidence all around us of climate change. However we have all manner of politicians, most of whom probably couldn't manage a GCSE in woodwork, let alone an understanding of science, who simply deny that there is a problem. I am not clever or well educated enough to understand the science, but I do know that when people start waving red flags, you slow down until you can properly assess the risks. I personally would trust scientists who do understand, rather than you tube vidders who scream ill informed and unresearched claims. I was reminded by a little puzzle my Dad once set me when I was a kid, and we were discussing his time in the RAF. The engines on your bomber need checking, There are three engineers in the squadron, one is white, one is black and one is Asian. Which one do you ask to fix it? The correct answer? The best engineer. We need the best scientists to work on things like climate change and we need to listen to them. If you'd asked me in 2019, I'd have said climate change was the biggest threat to humanity and the other species on the planet. I have changed my mind. So what is the biggest threat?

Well this week we saw a conference in America, where the Leaders of Europe came to pay homage to The most wonderful President Donald Trump. Proper tribute was given and the President was pleased. Trump is perhaps the most powerful man on the planet, and his whims can destroy nations economies, start or stop wars and reshape industries and policies that have been the status quo for decades. His most wonderfulness is a convected felon and a man who's businesses regularly go bankrupt. Yet somehow several hundred million Americans decided he was the best man for the job. The difficult truth is that if you believe in democracy, Trump is a challenge. If every other leader in the world was sane, decent, honest and rational, it probably wouldn't be a problem. However, that is not the situation we have. I'm not going to list them here, but we all know that there are several major conflicts, where the leaders instigating the atrocities cannot in any way shape or form be described as decent, honest people. Now this wouldn't be so important except that there are nuclear weapons in many of these troubled rejoins. Democracy has not rid the world of these awful devices, in fact they are proliferating. We have leaders who clearly have no respect for human life. I can sort of understand their disdain for the lives of their enemies, but what is absolutely terrifying is their lack of concern for their own citizens. If a leader has no compassion, even for their own people, what hope is there. The sad truth is that many of the nations involved in these conflicts have clearly got the worst leaders they could possibly have. 

Where do we look for moral leadership in these times? The most depressing aspect to what is going on, is that my honest answer is "I don't know". I am someone who always believes that we cannot sit around and simply blame everyone else, politicians, generals, capitalism. We are all part of this ecosystem. We can't change many things, but we can buy products that use less packaging, we can turn off lights, so we produce less CO2. We can stand up and say "This isn't right, you do not speak for us" when our leaders  act in bad faith. I wish we could do more. I know it may seem futile. But one thing I truly believe is that decent, rational people do not shout loudly. The voices we hear shouting are those with least to say. Maybe this should change.

Why I'd rather play in The False Dots than the Beatles!

 Last week, I did an interview with Ian 'Griff' Griffiths on Rock Radio UK . Listen here, if you missed it. It is a two hour interview, I play my favourite tracks a spill a few stories you won't have heard before. Girffi is a great presenter, we had a right laugh, as I think you can hear. One of the songs I play is "Live and Let Die" by Paul McCartney and Wings. It is probably my favourite Beatles related song. I told Griff I'd sling someone out of the house if they said they didn't like it. It is epic and Macca threw the kitchen sink at it. It was also the theme tune to one of my favourite Bond films. Bond is my favourite film franchise and Roger Moore my fave Bond. I suspect that Macca really enjoyed the opportunity to throw off the shackles and record that song. 

I was chatting to a mate over the weekend, and I said "You know what, I'm glad I'm in the False Dots, I think it's better in many ways than being in the Beatles". He said "Now you are talking $h1te, how can you say that? Well clearly to have all the money Macca made from the band would be lovely, but it is also an albatross around his neck. Think how the murder of John Lennon must've affected him and the other surviving members. They literally cannot go anywhere wiothout being recognised. No walk down Brighton pier for him, or standing on the Gwladys or Kop with his mates (he claims to support both). Sure he can do the corporate, but that is as much fun as having your nuts nailed to the fence.

For me, one of the greatest joys is playing gigs in small clubs and pubs, then just casually chatting with the ordinary fans and other bands over a pint after. Firstly Macca can't do this because it wouldn't be safe and secondly, most would be totally overawed. Then there are the women that get attracted to succesful musicians. Now I met my wife back in 1985, when The False Dots were playing at the Three Hammers and we've been together almost constantly since. It never crossed my mind that she was 'after my money'. 

As for actually being in the Beatles, in there heyday. The band started off doing a real slog for a couple of years, playing dives in Hamburg. Whist it must've been a brilliant experience, the band must have really roughed it. Then they had a couple of yers making wonderful, meaningless pop hits, beautifully produced and playing them to audeinces bigger than the PA systems of the day could cater for. It was the start of a new era in music. The Beatles Shea Stadium gig was one of the very first mega gigs. The PA wasn't loud enough. It isn't much fun playing a big gig with bad equipment. In 1966, they downed tools gig wise. They started to take large amounts of drugs and write very exerimental music. Whereas their early hits were full of fun and energy. the later songs were often quite dark and depressing. It doesn't really sound to me as if any fun was being had. McCartney and Lennon has been mates, but they had started to outgrow each other, especially John Lennon. Because the Beatles were a cash machine, they stuck with it for far longer than was good for them, meaning that when the split came it was acrimonious. 

When McCartney no longer had to be part of the organisation, he started to enjoy himself again. He wrote songs like Hi Hi Hi. I've been in bands where it is difficult to be a in a room with someone. It is no fun. Fortunately, if you are in the False Dots, you will not be affecting anoyones turnover or profits, if you get fed up and leave. After the split, the only question anyone wanted to ask Lennon or McCartney was whether you would be getting back together. As for George Harrison and Ringo Starr? Harrison was a brilliant songwriter, a great guitarist and decent singer. He gets almost zero kudos for his input. He knew his views didn't really matter. I suspect that out of all of them, Ringo enjoyed the whole thing most. He was fourth in the firing line. I have a friend who knows him and says that he gets mildly irritated about people only wanting to know about an eight year episode of his life that ended 55 years ago.

One of the benefits of being a grassroots band, where no one much knows your music, is that when we play a new number people listen to it. I was having a discussion with friend about bands. They said "Why do bands have to inflict new material on paying customers, why can't they play stuff we know?". This disheartens me.  I point out that the two best gigs I've ever seen were bands where I knew no songs. That was The first time I saw The Ramones and the first time I saw The Specials. Often fans miss the fact that great musicians continue to make great music, purely because they want the hits. Can you imagine working for a year on an album, only for all your fans to say "We are simply not interested".

I'd love to have a beer, a chat and a jam with Macca. In fact, I'd love to write a number with him. I was once told that if you want to know how to write a pop song, with good structure and all the elements to make a hit, simply study the hits written by McCartney. His solo output was often heavily criticised (not leased by his former collaborator John Lennon). As I said at the start of this, I think Live and Let Die is a classic. It may be his best song, Beatles or not. It is a real epic. It is clever, funny, dark and pacy. I've always felt he should write another Bond tune. If he wants a collaborator, he knows where to find me (LOL). But in all truth, whilst he's made zillions, I think we've had more fun. Even if he wanted to join The False Dots to play bass and do backing vocals on Longshot didn't die, at our next Dublin Castle gig, it would be no fun for anyone. It would just be a scrum fo dodgy selfies and stupidity. Bowie tried to step back into normality with Tin Machine. It simply doesn't work.

Anyway, here's what Macca's been missing!

The Saturday List #495 - Ten amazing sights and sounds that will never happen again

 I was feeling a tad nostalgic earlier in the week. We travelled down to St Pancras on Thameslink, to watch Joe Stilgoe play as part of the Coal Drops yard festival. It was rather good. My mind went back to 1969. My Dad & I jumped on a train and we saw something that will never be seen again. It got me thinking, what other things in my life have I experienced, that no one will ever do again? It seemed like an excellent subject for a list.

1. An RAF Harrier lands at St Pancras Goods yard. It was part of a transatlantic race. Dad, being an ex RAF pilotwas incredibly excited to see the jet in action. I wasonly seven at the time, I thought such things happen all the time. Sadly they don't.

The goods yard was actually designated as an RAF base for the day. The goods yard has been built over. The RAF, rather foolishly in my opinion, scrapped the Harriers and Dad has gone to the big airfield in the sky. But it made a strong impression on me.

2. Manchester City at the League two playoff final at the old Wembley Stadium. I took my nephew Alex to the game. With 89 minutes on the clock, City were 2-0 down. It seemed like the club were in terminal decline. Then a miracle. Two goals, no score in injury time, then keeper Nicky Weaver became a legend in the penalty shoot out. League two became League one, when League one was rebranded at the Championship. The old Wembley with the Twin Towers was knocked down. That City team became legends, but in truth were probably the worst City side ever. It didn't matter. We were happy, City were back in the 2nd tier of English football. It may sound strange to the glory hunter fans of today, but if I could only keep one Manchester City memory, it would be that day at the old Wembley. The new stadium is soulless and lacks any real character.

3. Concorde at Heathrow. As I mentioned, my Dad was a former pilot. When the Concorde started its service from Heathrow, Dad took us all down to Heathrow to watch one take off. There was a car park that you could get a clear view from. I remember Dad saying "This is the future". Sadly it was a false dawn. If ever I saw Concorde pass overhead, I always felt rather happy. Perhaps the only other planes that do that is the RAF Lancaster and Spitfires when they are on memorial flight duties. Concorde only exists in museums now.

4. Photographing the Empire State building from the World Trade Centre. I've been to New York a few times. I would always make a trip to both the Empire State Building and the World Trade Centre, to take piccies. I always got a real thrill going up both of these. I preferred the view from the WTC as you could see the Empire State building in all its glory. Sadly, Osama Bin Laden and his merry men destroyed them. They were massive, it seemed incongruous that they would simply disappear from the NYC skyline, but disappear they did. 

5. The Tall ships race on the Thames in 1989. This was spectacular. The ships can no longer access the upper reaches. As I recall, it was raining and there were dozens of them. It was well worth a drenching to see.

6. Princess Diana's funeral procession passing my back garden on the M1 to her final resting place in Northamptonshire. My Mum was still around and healthy. We watched the funeral on telly, then went up and stood on our balcony, which overlooks the M1. You knew it was coming because of the helicopters following it. It seemed like a moment that would not be repeatse.d

7. Solar Eclipse in London. In 1999, there was a near total solar eclipse. I was working in an office on Leman St and we all went up on the roof. At the peak of the eclipse, London went dark and you felt the temperature drop. London was quiet. It was a spiritual moment. After it passed, we all went to the pub, it didn't seem right to just go back and do mundane work. The office I was working in has been knocked down. The next total solar eclipse in the UK will be in 2090, so I won't be around to see it.

8. The Ramones, Talking Heads and The Saints at The Roundhouse on June 6th 1977. This for me is the key moment in my life. Until then, I'd not been that interested in music. The Roundhouse then was very different to the amazing arts centre we have today. It was run down and grubby. It suited punk rock. Sadly all of the Ramones are dead, as is Chris Bailey, Lead singer of the Saints. I wanted to include a musical event in the list. There are a few, but this is the pivotal one for me.

9. Sailing out of Gothenberg harbour, on a ferry with the sea frozen and the sun setting turning it red, watching in awe, with my mate Paul Hircombe. Now I guess that you could probably see this, if you timed your journey right, but the trip was at the end of the False Dots Scandinavian tour. I have never seen a sight so beautiful in all of my life. I said to Paul "Do you think it will ever be this good again?". Paul looked at me and said "I hope so, why not". I don't know if it has been. In this day and age, I'd have a million pics of it on Instagram. Paul died in 2012, it exists only in my memory. When I go, that will be erased forever. 

10. The aftermath of the Baltic Exchange IRA bomb. In April 1992, the IRA blew up the Baltic Exchange in the City of London. My mum had told me stories of the biltz, the devastation was immense, I've never really seen anything like it. It was spectaular, if horrific. The bomb was massive and it is hard to explain in words just how large an area was devastated, windows blown in etc. I'd walked down this road the day before. Again, these days I'd have a stack of pictures. It is almost unbelieveable that only three people died. 

Friday Fun & local music round up

As is the way with Barnet Blogs, we love a Friday Joke. Here's one for the pot.

As it is VJ Day, I'll tell you a tragic tale that my Dad used to tell, which demonstrates the gallows humour of Australian servicemen. Dad was an Aussie, who volunteered to fly for the RAF. His best mate from Charters Towers joined the Army and was captured by the Japanese, ending up in a POW Camp. They were treated savagely and not given decent rations. After about six months they were near starvation. The Japanese camp commandant had two prize fighting cocks, that he'd entertain his men with, as they fought. One of the cocks broke loose and some of the Aussie servicemen cooked it up. The camp commandant went mad and demanded to know who had taken the cock. When no one stepped forward, he selected a very popular sergeant and announced that he would take the rap. The poor soul was tied to a post for a week, with no food or drink. It was announced that on the Saturday, if no one owned up, he would be shot in front of all of the troops. By Saturday, he was dragged, half dead in front of the commandant and all of his men. The commandant said "I am going to shoot you now, but I will allow you one last request". The sergeant replied "Can I have the other cock for dinner". Sadly he didn't get the cock and the story ended there. Happily his mate lived to tell the tale. 

God bless all of those who fought fascism in all its forms and lost their lives between 1939 and 1945.

And on to the local music round up. 

Check The Barnet Music Facebook page for all your local gigs.

Friday 15th

 

Saturday 16th
Butchers Arms 9pm – midnight - Odyssey Blues and Soul (soul/blues/jazz)
East Barnet RB Legion 9pm – 11.30pm - The Looters (60s/70s covers) 5 piece
Monken Holt 9.30pm – midnight - Nially (Acoustics)
Arkley Club 8.30pm – 11.30pm £5 cash on door - Country and Western night

Sunday 17th
East Barnet RB Legion 2-5pm - 80th anniversary of VJ Day Art Deco Quintet
Ye Olde Monken Holt, 7-9pm - Annie Majin (60/70s Swing)
Ye Olde Mitre Inn 8pm – 11.30pm - Home Cookin (Jazz)
Butchers 8.30 – 11.30pm - Butchers Arms Jam Electric/Blues/Rock (Full backline available)

Monday 18th
Ye Olde Mitre Inn, High Street 8pm – 11pm (stables room) - Barnet Acoustics Session

Wednesday 20th
Ye Olde Monken Holt 8.30 – 11pm - Open Mic Night

Thursday 21st
Ye Olde Monken Holt 8.30 – 10.30pm - Irish Session
 

Rock and Roll Stories #43 - Songwriting and Learning from my mistakes

 An image is burned into my memory. It was twenty two years ago, around this time of year. A young singer/songwriter had been spending a lot of time in the studio. She'd just got a deal. she would hang around studio reception sometimes and chat. One time she was early for a rehearsal and picked up one of the guitars. She played us a sing she'd just written and asked our opinion. Fil Ross, our chief engineer and my bandmate in the False Dots said something like "It's great but try taking the C down to an Am in the chrous, it will give it a better feel". She did it and said "Yeah that really works". I was struck by how the song she wrote was her. When she sang it, unaccompanied, it sounded amazing. What struck me most though was it was her. She delivered a song that she really believed. Her name is Amy Winehouse and within a couple of months, she was on the Jools Holland show and the rest is history. Many words have been written about Amy, but far too few about her songwriting. The gift Amy had as a songwriter was her ability to convey genuine emotion and feelings. 

I was reminded of this yesterday. I've been doing some filing. I have about 200 cassettes made over 46 years at False Dots rehearsals etc. Most are completely unlabelled. Listening to these has been quite enlightening, but also a bit of an emotional journey. Hearing the voices of people who have passed away, moved away, disappeared has been rather emotional. It stirred up a whole raft of feelings. It also brought back many moments in the long history of the band, not all of which were comfortable. Perhaps the most difficult for me to deal with, was the break up of the band in 1984, when Venessa Sagoe left the band. Venessa was an immense talent and I'd have done anything to keep her in the band, but she had decided that her path lay elsewhere. The first year of the line up had been brilliant, but it all started to go wrong, when myself and my girlfriend decided to share a flat with Venessa and her boyfriend Bill, who was also a guitarist in the band. I don't think Venessa found me to be an easy band mate. When she announced she was leaving the band, I asked why. She said "You have not given me a voice in the music". I was quite upset by this. I always felt I encouraged the band to participate in the writing and development of the songs. We had got the band together in a hurry, the previous summer. We had gigs to be fulfilled and it was true that the selection of songs Venessa had to sing when she joined were not written for her. Once we had a set together, we started to write some new songs. In hindsight, the songs I presented, were still very much my songs. Whilst the band all worked on the arrangements, it is clear listening to them now, that whilst Venessa sang them in an excellent way, she didn't really feel much empathy with most of them.

When she first told me this, I didn't understand. In 1985, when I started to consider how to get the band together with a new line up, I pondered on this. I realised that what I really needed to do was improve my songwriting. I did a songwriting course. This gave me a lot of great tools as a songwriter, but I still didn't fully appreciate what Venessa said, or the fact that what the tutor was saying. One of the exercises was to write a song for an artist of our choice. The tutor suggested choosing someone who's music wasn't really something we'd listen to. He suggested we listen to the artist and try and get inside their head and write a song they might sing well. I randomly chose Paul Young. I borrowed an album and worked out his key and his style. I wrote a song,which I didn't really like. I got a mate to sing it and I strummed it. The tutor was hughly complimentary and said I'd "got inside his voice". I was quite surprised. I put the song down and forgot it. A couple of years later, a mate, who has a great voice turned up for a rehearsal. He asked if he could sing a song with us. I dug it out and he sang it brilliantly. We recorded it on my four track. When I listened to it, the penny finally dropped. I realised what Venessa had been saying. I'd never taken the trouble to find her best singing key (in truth it didn't seem to matter). I'd run shy of doing slow songs, where she could really have exploited her range and talent. 

Whilst  I think we'd given her songs that worked really well live and that showed off her range and talent, none showed her personality. I don't really understand why I'd not collaborated with her more on actually writing songs from scratch, which would have been the logical thing to do. I'd done that with Pete Conway and Craig Withecombe, who were far less talented. We had a few covers in our set, a bit of a hang over from when she joined and we had to get a set together quickly for some bookings. One of the songs, which Venessa chose, was the Percy Sledge classic "When a man loves a woman". We recorded it for a demo to get some more paid gigs. When we listened, it was to fast. We had a long chat and worked hard to slow it down. The live version on The False Dots Youtube, is probably the best recording of it. It is perfect and Venessa gets totally inside the song. Rather stupidly, we decided that was our slow song in the set. It was one which always got a brilliant response and we were too stupid to see what was staring us in the face.  Have a listen

When Connie Abbe joined the band, I was determined not to make the same mistake. There was an old False Dots song called "Maybe once more" that Connie sang with us. We slowed it right down. It sounded brilliant. She really got inside it, changed a few lyrics and it became one of the high points of the set. The video below is a live video from Lock 17 at Camden. What was interesting was that I wrote the song for Venessa after she left the band, when I was doing the songwriting course. When Allen Ashley joined, we sped it up and it had a bit of Dire Straits B-side feel, which was OK but wasn't what was intended. It was only really when Connie joined that I was able to hear it how it should sound. 

After Venessa left in late 1984 and the band got going again, we got poet Allen Ashley on vocals. Allen was a poet and he would only sing songs he could get fully inside. Writing the music for the songs was brilliant and quite educational. Allen's style is rather marmite, not totally dissimilar to Morrisey. Many of the songs we co-wrote. I'd contribut a verse or two, Allen would finish the songs and reshape them. I think a couple of the songs are classic pop songs.

After Allen, we went through a few singers etc. The last of that period was Tony Robotham, who was an R&B singer. Tony was brilliant, he completly owned the songs he sang. I wrote a few songs, he wrote a few and we got what, in hindsight, was an amazing set. I got to understand what made Tony's voice tick. He got his head around playing with rock musicians. It is only now, when I listen to them, that I realise how good they were. I was pretty burned out as a musician by then. There wasn't much interest in the music we wanted to make. 

I think that the decade between the False Dots starting in 1979 and the line up with Tony disbanding in late 1990 was one of constant learning. If I have a regret, it is that I pressed the pause button on the band, just as I'd got to the point where I was writing good songs and playing good guitar. 

Fast forward to 2025, 35 years later. The False Dots are going through one of our best periods. We are working on a new album. After decades of getting in other singers, most of whom were brilliant, I have picked up the reigns and am taking the leadon vocals (although Tom Hammond now sings a few songs).  The most interesting aspect of it, is that I now know what Venessa was moaning about. When you write a strong song, that suits you, it is easy to perform it well and have some fun with it. When you don't connect, it simply doesn't work. It may sound OK to the audience, but it isn't much fun. 

For any aspiring songwriters out there, I would urge you to consider all of this. I had long appreciated the need for an audience to connect with a song, but less so the people performing it. Last night, the False Dots recorded three songs for our new album. The first of these was the song I wrote in the Paul Young style. My missus has loing said it was the best song I've written, albiet because she liked my mate Johnny's vocals on it. I've shied away from it because it is actually a hard song for me to sing, but I have bitten the bullet. Tom Hammonds trumpet is the ingredient that had long been missing. The second song, is a song from 2006, I'm the man. We have recorded this before, but I felt it would work well with trumpet and hopefully I can sing it OK. It is perhaps the most punk rock song I've written in the last 40 years. It is dynamic and I rather like it. The third song, is a brand new Ska number called "Crows", which is about Urban Decay, but has a lot of dark humour, in true False Dots style. Here is a clip Tom filmed of us recording the backing tracks. It will sound a bit different when it is mixed. It's been a long journey. It ain't over just yet!

@falsedotsrog Started work recording three new tracks last night, for the new False Dots album! This number is ‘The Crows’ #ska #reggae #thefalsedots #recordingstudio #millhillmusiccomplex ♬ original sound - FalseDotsRog

The start of the football season! What is in store, my round up and predictions

 On Saturday, I watched my first competetive game of the season. Hadley FC lost 0-2 at home to Hitchen Town FC at Brickfield Lane in the Southern League Division One Central. It was not the start I'd hoped for, as Hadley had a good pre season. Hitchen had come down from the Southern Premier Division and are strong favourites to go up. Their pre match boasts of 'outnumbering' the Hadley fans was a bit wide of the mark, but after an even first half, they took control and won comfortably in the second half. Over the last seven years, I've become a Hadley fan, buying a season ticket and enjoying supporting a grassroots team. I couldn't make it last night, but they got the show rolling away to Northwood last night, with a decent 0-2 win. I am looking forward to Saturdays FA Cup gane against Maldon & Tiptree, who by all accounts are a very strong team. I am rather hoping Hadley will once again be in the playoffs and maybe do a bit better in them than last year. The team has got some good players and in pre season and in the first half against Hitchen, looked very solid. Manager Anthony Clark has done an excellent job establishing them as a step four club. 

My other team is the world conquering Manchester City FC. I've yet to buy any tickets for games or make any arrangements. We have a busy social calendar, but I hope to get to see them in September. City had a poor (by their standards) season last year. Winning nothing and finishing third, a long way short of Liverpool. I genuinely can't see City performing as badly again. They are my favourites for the title, although they've lost their talisman Kevin DeBruyne, who will be missed. They look to have bought well. 

Liverpool look very strong, especially if they secure their transfer targets, but retaining the league is harder than winning it. When you are the champions, teams are up for it. I don't think anyone expected Arne Slot to win the league in his first season. In truth, he won it at a canter, as both City and Arsenal pretty much fell apart and gave them a pretty easy time. It is a bit harder, when you are neck and neck and need to win your last twelve games on the bounce, as has happened to City in previous years, when tussling with Liverpool. I expect to see a far harder test for them this season. 

I am not sure that Arsenal have done anything to persuade me that they will make a stronger challenge. I am surprised that they are not going for Isaak, as they need a top class striker. I think they will be top four, but not really do much else. Chelsea are an enigma. For much of last season, looking pretty poor, but finishing in a Champions League place, with the Europa Conference and World Club Championship. Nothing would surprise me with them. I think they are a good wild card to actually win the Premiership. They seem to be able to pull out performances in big games and that is priceless. 

Tottenham Hotspur have a new manager and silverware. I liked their manager at Brentford, but he's not been proven at a big club. I am not really sure that Spurs have a squad that can compete for the Premiership, a top four place and a cup is the best I can see for them. They have to cope with Champions League football. I find it hard to understand their strategy as a football team. I liked Ange and felt he should have been given another season.

Then there is my least favourite team, Manchester United FC. It strikes me that the club has become toxic. They have actually made a few decent signings. If he wasn't the Utd manager, I'd like their coach, Ruben Amorim. I think he made a mistake going to Utd mid season. It looked to me, escpecially in the Europa League final, as if his players didn't understand his game plan. Bruno Fernandes, who I dislike intensely, but is a good player, seemed to spend a lot of the game with the ball at his feet, looking for his team mates to make runs, that never materialised. If Amorim manages to explain how he wants them to play, they may do OK. If they still look as clueless after a couple of games as they did against Spurs, he will be in big trouble.

As for the clubs that have come up? I expect Leeds to stay up. I think they have what it takes. I expect Burnley to go down, unless another Prem team falls apart. I think they will finish above Sunderland, who I expect to finish bottom of the pile. Burnley have recent Prem experience and know what to do, so may just scrape enough points if the bottom of the league is poor. I don't believe Sunderland do. I expect Sunderland to finish bottom.

And as for the other teams I take an interest in, across the leagues. Watford in the Championship are a favourite. Sadly, the club seems to be in a permanent state of chaos, with owners who seemingly don't have a clue and plan A is always sack the manager if he loses a few games. For many years, when they were in the Conference and before that, I used to go to watch Wrexham play when they were in London. We'd do a beer trail and have a curry, punctuated by a usually pretty poor, but entertaining game of football. I've not seen them for since they left the Conference, I can't get tickets. I hope they do Ok, but I think they will struggle. If they stay up, it will be a successful season.

In League one, I'll be looking out for AFC Wimbledon. Like many real fans, I see them as what real football is all about. A phoenix club, which rose from the ashes, when the money men nicked their club and moved it to Milton Keynes. If Wimbledon ever won the Premiership, it would give me nearly as much joy as if Manchester City did (or even Hadley, but that would doubtless involve the club losing what I love about it). I've never been to Plough Lane, but it is on my list. I think they'll struggle on low budgets and in a tough league. I think they'll just about stay up, but it will be tight.

In League Two, there is Barnet. Until they moved to Harrow, my second team. I don't like the Hive, I don't like their chairman, but I still have a soft spot for the club, even if I never go! The last time I saw them, I went in the away end, with my Wrexham mates, when Wrexham were still just an ordinary conference club, struggling with no cash. It didn't persuade me to break my boycott of the Hive.

The False Dots recorded a song with Lee Thompson of Madness, called Saturday, to celebrate football and football fans. I co wrote it with Poet Allen Ashley, who sings. We will shortly be releasing  a new version, called Hadley FC We Love You, with Tom Hammond on Trumpet. Here is Allen & Lee doing their stuff with us, enjoy. I love the thumbnail, which I think sums up football in the Premiership in 2025. It's my nephew Martin looking happy! He's a Man U season ticket holder for his sins, and rather unusually, he lives in Manchester. I've no idea who the glamourous lady behind him filming is. 

Rog T Food Blog - Making salad sexy!

I've been on a diet since last November. Salads are a big part of this. The problem for me with salads though, is that they always seem like a penance! I'm not even convinced that most of the ones you buy in a supermarket plastic carton are actually healthy. I always check for additives and you'd be surprised what they put in. Is there any reason why salads need to be as dull as dishwater? I think not.

One of my missions over the last year has been to make tasty salads that are not unhealthy and have some nitritional value.  Some of the ingredients of salad, such as lettuce, don't really have much flavour. Alternatives such as rocket and watercress do. Fresh tomatoes are a healthy vegetable. Beetroot also has benefits. I quite like cucumber, especially when pickled. Finely chopped shallots also add a bit of flavour. 

I like to make up my own dressings. There are many listed health benefits of cider vinager with mother. That is my base. I add some tumeric, smoked paprika and pepper and a small amount of olive oil. If I am feeling spicy, I add some finely chopped fresh hot chilli and some grated garlic.

Depending on the day of the week and my mood, I have tinned sardines, boiled eggs, cheese or smoked mackerel with it. I am not a fan of mayonnaise or salad cream. They leave a cloying aftertaste. By making my own, I get something to my taste. It also works out much cheaper to make it up, rather than buying a bland, tasteless shop made salad.

The Sunday Reflection #58 - No one knows the hour....

 This week, we saw the sad passing of legendary British singer Terry Reid. The news shocked me, not least because I spoke to Terry in June, when he booked some studio time with us for some forthcoming gigs. He was on good form and rather optimistic about the forthcoming shows. As is the way with long standing customers, we exchanged a laugh and a joke. He must have been diagnosed with cancer shortly after I spoke to him. He certainly gave no inkling of the problem when I took his booking for sessions in September (which at the time of writing are still on the system). I was not a close mate of Terry, we always had a bit of a joke and a laugh when he rehearsed. I learned of his passing, listening to the radio. It served as a reminder that no one really knows the hour when our time is up.

Back in 2012, I had the sad task of watching one of my best mates die. He had oesophageal cancer. In his final hours, there were probably half a dozen moments when we thought he was gone, but he hung on. He finally went at a point when everyone thought he was ok for a few minutes and nipped out for a cigarette. He died on his own, he clearly wanted to (or maybe the grim reaper simply waited for the opportunity to sneak in). 

Paul had been the bass player of the False Dots from 1980 until 2009. We had so many shared moments in the band, key moments in my life that were absolutely elemental to me. He left the band in 2009, when he moved to Portsmouth. We replaced him, but I would have always welcomed him back and found a way to accommodate him in the line up, had he returned. I always believed he would, I believed (wrongly) that the Good Lord had put Paul on earth to be the bassist of the False Dots. When he died, I couldn't play the songs he'd played on. Even though we knew he was dying, I clung to the mistaken belief that there may be a miracle. To this day, I still occasionally have dreams that he turns up to join the band again. But life doesn't work like that. Time has moved on and we are now a very different band. If he did a Lazarus and returned, I don't know how we'd fit him in? Maybe he could take over guitar and I could concentrate on singing? Am I alone in agonising over dilemma's that simply won't happen? 

The truth is that we had our chance and we had our time in the band and that time has gone. It was only really when Covid hit and the world tilted on its axis that I became comfortable with that part of the bands legacy and felt I could move on. Someone asked me what me greatest weakness is. That (to me anyway) is easy. As you probably have guessed reading my comments about Paul, I find it difficult to let go of the past. My one saving grace is that I also believe in the future, but mentally, I carry too much baggage and it slows me down and drags me back. I have things I want to do in my life and as I will soon be 63, I am aware that time is not on my side. I don't need to be dragged back by battles that have already been won or lost.

It is strange. When I walk around London these days, most of the offices I worked in have been rebuilt or repurposed. Pubs, some of which had been around for centuries have gone, or been renames. Half the bus routes from Mill Hill that I used as a child no longer come here or have different destinations (52, 140, 113, Green Line). The shops that were the pinnacle of the Broadway have also gone. Woolworths, the COOP, WH Smiths are now just memories on photographs. The Church I attended as a child was demolished and rebuilt. My Dad, who passed away in 1987, would hardly recognise the Broadway now. I suspect he'd do a double take and make sure the Motorway Bridge was still there! When he passed, we still had a cold war, the USSR, The UK was in the EU, South Africa was still living under Apartheid. Northern Ireland was living in a state of terror. There were no mobile phones or internet (Dad would have loved them). Cars still ran on leaded petrol. Smoking was allowed in pubs. 

Dad died without warning. He left a massive hole in my life. If he was still alive he'd be 108 now. He smoked 60 cigarettes a day and drank at least three beers every day. Perhaps unsurprisingly, this took its toll. That doesn't mean it wasn't a massive shock when he died. Like Paul, I still have dreams about him. Usually, he's imparting some sort of wisdom and I always take note of it. In 1988, I was run over by a car. For about three seconds, I thought I was going to die. It was an odd moment. I was actually quite pleased. My first thought was "I'll see Dad again". Once I got over the pain and shock of the accident, I often thought about this. I am no longer scared of death. I don't look forward to the process, but I am at peace with what comes after. 

No one teaches us how to cope with death, be it our own or that of the people we love. The world moves on. Things change, but it seems to me that such events anchor a bit of us in the past. I am still not sure whether it is best to forget those we love and move on, or to sit around as I do, mentally trying to rewrite the past, as I tend to. The one thing I've learned is that no one is immortal and no one is irreplacebale. I thought my Dad was immortal and indestructable and I thought Paul irreplaceable in the band. I've learned the hard way that neither was true. We don't know the hours that both us and our friends will leave this small globe circling a medium size star. All we can do is make the most of it whilst we are here. The one thing that I am pleased about is that with both my Dad and Paul, we had major fallings out a couple of years before they passed. In both cases, we had made our peace, not in anticipation of their passing, I must add, and we were on good terms. A good friend advised me when I fell out with my Dad "Think how you'd feel if he dropped dead tomorrow and you weren't talking to him". It was advice I heeded then and advice I heed now, when I have fallings out. You have to do something pretty bad for me to drop you, if you are a friend. 

And I'll leave you with a song. Back in 1984, in a pub that no longer exits, Paul plays bass for The False Dots. A different world. I do miss this, even though I'm having a blast with the band and what we are doing now. I never thought we'd play this song without Paul!

The Saturday List #494 - My top ten non pharmacutical remedies!

 I bought a new pair of trainers yesterday! So what you might ask? Well I went to Soultasia in Bushey last night, and had no ankle or knee pain at all, despite having done an hour in the gym. I am plagued by ankle and knee pain, sobeing on my feet for four hours with no pain is a good thing. My old trainers had worn out and weren't providing proper support, meaning I was starting to see the return of chronic knee pain and ankle pain. Now it is not just the trainers, I get custom made insoles for them, which provides arch support. It works. I always look for a non pharmacutical solution, if I can. I am not an idiot, when my urologist said I needed a radical prostatectomy, I had one. But I will always try a non medical solution first. Now none of this is medical advice. See your doctor first! But these work

1. Ankle and knee pain. As mentioned, I get ASICS trainers, which have the best support and I get custom made insoles. This almost cures it for six months until the trainers wear out. I was told in 2009 I needed new knees. I played football for another eleven years and even now I am keeping the surgeon at bay.

2. Chronic back pain. In 2005, I had an MRI and it was found that I had fractured my spine and where the bone healed, there was a spur of bone pressing on the nerve that runs down. It was causing intense sciatic pain. I was told I needed an operation, that meant 12 weeks in hospital on my back and had a 20% risk of paralysis. I asked if there were any other options. The surgeon said "You could try physiotherapy", but with this level of problem, I think you need an operation. I said I'd try physio. I was given 22 sessions of massage and manipulation. I also was given a series of exercises that I do until this day. I have constant pain but 95% of the time it is at a manageable level. 2-3 out of 10. When it gets worse, I do the stretches and it improves. Some things, like standing still in one place make it worse. I avoid this.

3. Thyroid problems. In November, I was advised that my thyroid hormone levels were out of the normal range and rising. I had also let myself go, My weight had ballooned to nearly 18 stone. I set out on a regime of fasting, dieting and exercise. I read up on the condition and found that it could be caused by low selenium levels. So I also started eating brazil nuts every day. Now it is back in the normal range.

4. Acid reflux. This has plagued me for decades. I am prescribed omnaprazol, but I've found that if I don't drink alcohol and don't eat fatty foods or pastry/dough, I don't get it. Eating after 6pm is also a bad thing. So I only take the omnaprazol on days where I am breaking the rules.

5. Immunity issues. In 2000, I got really ill. The doctor did tests, including an HIV test, that was negative. There was no explanation. Eventually we discussed diet. I was not eating meat at the time, I hadn't for 16 years. He then suggested that it could be a vitamin b deficiency. He told me to go and have a liver dinner. I did this and all of the problems disappeared. I know several other men who have had the same problem and the same solution worked. I now have liver at least once every six months. I like it, so it is not a problem.

6. Obesity. As I mentioned, in November last year, I was obese, with a BMI of over 35, Now I am just fat! It is under 30. I have been following a 5-2 fasting diet, doing an 18 hour fast on two days a week. I also limit my drinking to 3-4 days a week. It works. I've not gone down the Ozempic route, although most of my friends think I have. I also eat less most other days.

7. Depression and Anxiety. When I was 13, I suffered massive anxiety issues. I know (and this is self diagnosis) put this down to seeing my Mum go through cancer when I was eight and being told she'd die and I'd be put in the orphanage! I believe the experiences caused PTSD. When I was fourteen, I discoverd punk rock music. The anxiety issues abated. They still resurface. When I was 24, a mate suggested I try yoga and meditation. It works. I am not doing Yoga at the moment, my knees wont take it but I do meditate. Playing the guitar and being in a band also helps.

8. Dyslexia. I am dyslexic. Until I was 12 I'd never read a book. I was always bottom of the class. I was only diagnosed when I was 33.  My problem is mainly that I cannot process a word unless it is descriptive of an object. So a word like apple is easy to process. However to this day, a word like noun, which simply describes an item of language means nothing to me. I've still no idea what a noun is. I can look it up, but I will almost instantly forget it.  Three things made me able to cope and develop a strategy to get by. These were things I developed myself. The first was when I started writing songs and poetry, aged 14. I realised that I had to have a larger vocabulary. I also started to appreciate the feeling of words. The second thing was that I had an English teacher who hated my guts. At Finchley Catholic High School, my physics teacher John Shuttler was very much a mentor. I discussed this with him. He said "If you fail, she wins. If you want to piss her off, pass". A light came on and I worked my socks off. To mine and everyone elses amazement, I passed an English Language O level. The third thing, which I thank my mum for, is that I've always read comics. Having pictures and words together helped me join up the synapses in my brain.

9. Cancer. Now if you have cancer, follow the doctors advice. However, there is one aspect of cancer that they don't tell you. It is as much a mental illness as a physical one. It is mentally devastating. At times, I've not been able to cope and have been awful to live with. I found that the normal mechanism I used to deal with anzxiety didn't work, such as meditation. I was so overwhelmed, I couldn't do silence. I had to fill my brain with positivity. That is why my band have been so much more active in the last three years. Making music, writing new songs lifted me from the torpor. It is just an ill fitting sticking plaster, but it is all I have.

10. Erectile issues. I had my prostate removed. I was told that there was a 50 percent chance that after I had surgery, I'd never have another erection. This didn't fill me with happiness and I almost refused surgery. After the operation, I saw a specialist mens health physiotherapist. He explained to me the mechanics, and suggested I use a vacuum pump, to improve blood flow. He said use it every day. This stops atrophy of the blood vessels. Many men do not understand that it is very much a question of maintaining blood flow in that region. For me, this is still a work in progress, but I do have a degree of normal function, without using medication. I do take pills sometimes, but to be honest, they make me feel weird and I prefer not to. Men should discuss these things.

And a final bonues remedy. Did you know that when you sing, it improves your mood and raises your seratonin levels. The reason is that it increases the flow of oxygen to the brain. That is why, when you sing along with a band at a gig, you feel euphoric. I learned this through singing with my band. It is odd how few people realise this. This is why I also think that churches should only choos hymns that you can belt out. That way everyone gets happy!

And I will leave you with a song that makes me very happy, when I sing it and when I listen to it

The traditional English pub is dead!

Of all the titles of blogs I've written, this is the hardest to write. But the sad truth is that it's true. I drink in a lot of pubs and have done for the last 50 years. I could write a million pages on my life in pubs. But the sad truth is that the traditional English pub is dead. You may well say "Ah, but my local is thriving". It may well be, but my guess is that it is not what we would identify as a traditional English pub, where people came to drink beer and chat to their mates. The only person who seems to be doing OK doing this is the Wetherspoons chain and to me, they are not traditional English pubs. That is not a criticism, it is an observation. They do not have darts teams, they don't exist at the end of high streets in sleepy villages. 

The sort of pubs that have survived in villages, tend to do food or have some other unique charm. I doubt any survive just on beer sales (what is traditionally called a wet pub). There are busy city centre pubs that make this model work, but they are ones blessed with a location that provides a brisk trade. Areas in London like Camden and Kings Cross have a few. There are quite a few high street bars, converted from shops that simply sell beer, we have one in Mill Hill, The Bridge Tavern, but I don't think anyone would describe The Bridge as a typical English pub.

One of the things I wouldn't have predicted is that in Barnet, pubs in the more upmarket areas have survived where the more working class areas, such as Burnt Oak have seen their once thriving pub scene completely disappear. Last Saturday, we went to The Three Wishes in Edgware to watch my good mate Alan Warner's band. When I was in my Twenties, we'd go to Edgware most weekends, when we didn't g to gigs. We'd do a pub crawl, having a pint in the Railway. The White Hart, The White Lion, The Masons and we'd end up in the Beehive (it was full of pretty girls). Not one of those pubs remain. Oddly, The Three Wishes is a new pub. It seems to do OK and puts on a lot of music, which is good. 

Burnt Oak has seen a similar devastation. When you read about the decline of the pub industry in the UK, there are many factors. Margaret Thatcher passed laws banning breweries from owning large chains. This broke the link between making beer and selling beer. The new pubco's that formed, realised that they could make more money selling the pubs than beer. Then Tony Blair banned smoking in pubs. Many punters simply couldn't be bothered with the hassle and sit at home drinking cans and smoking. Then Brexit removed the source of cheap, hard working labour. This occurred at the same time that Covid got us all out of the habit of going to the pub. 

I think it is no exaggeration to say Covid brought twenty years of social change in six months. I had thought the traditional pub model was saveable. I've changed my mind. Young people do not find the traditional English pub enticing and older people have got out of the habit of going for a drink with friends. What is the answer? I don't know, I wish I did. I like pubs that have character, that are not homogenous brands, that have staff who work their because they like doing it. That know the regulars and the regulars know them. Where they sell beers because they like beers and they know what the beers are like. There are still a few pubs that, to me at least are proper English boozers. My favourite at the moment is The Southampton Arms in Kentish Town. But it seems ever harder to find good pubs, selling proper beer, that have an atmosphere where you want to stay and have another pint, when you should be going home.

Anyway, I'll end with this. Back in 1984, The False Dots had a residency at The Bald Faced Stag in Burnt Oak. It was a pub where everyone knew each other. It had a bit of a reputation for trouble, but I knew many of the regulars, a fair few had worked for my Dad at MacMetals. This sort of working class pub in council estate areas seems to have disappeared from London.  Here is a video of the band playing there. Enjoy and have a pint on me to start the weekend. I miss such places