There are only really two places I ever think deeply about life. The reason? Everywhere else I have constant distractions. One is at mass on a Sunday morning and the other is in the jacuzzi at the Virgin health club in Mill Hill East, on the rare occasion when there is no one else in there. Today, I had a good ten minutes without interruption, I had a good chance to reflect on things, after a strenuous workout. My mind tends to wander in the strangest tangents at such times. As I was enjoying the peace and quiet, half in a slumber, a really disturbing notion came into my head. I had the realisation that I no longer feel like I am me anymore. I feel a bit like I am somebody else, inhabiting my mind. This was quite a disturbing thought. It jarred me from my peaceful reflection. I felt a need to mentally touch base with reality. I started doing a stocktake of my memories. Early ones as a child, recent ones. I realised that I was still me. But I still felt odd and out of place. It was rather puzzling.
My mind went into overload, why did I feel so detached. I realised that it wasn't me. It was everything else. I am not quite sure when it first started, but I have noticed that in recent weeks, months and years, people who I thought I knew really well suddenly start expressing the strangest views. When a stranger comes up and starts saying things, I have no context to judge them against. When you've got friends you grew up with and they start expressing views that seem to be the polar opposite of what you thought they believed, it is very difficult. If it was just one or two people and they were dropping acid, I would not really have a problem. When they haven't and it is dozens of people I've known for years, it is hard. Now I have always believed that people are entitled to think and believe what they like. But when you have a firm idea of what you believe people's characters are like, built up over decades, and lubricated with a lot of alcohol on the way, it is different. Were they always like this and did I just not notice?
It is not just people who are acting strangely. When you watch TV, listen to the radio, go to the cinema, we have a portal into a world that is slightly unreal. Before I went to jacuzzi, I did a 20K cycle. The bikes at Virgin allow you to watch TV. Usually I watch Tipping Point. It is the only quiz show I really enjoy, as I like those slot machines you find on piers, and it gives me a warm buzz. Sadly today, ITV had deal or no deal, which is as dull as dishwater. I flicked through the channels. BBC News, Sky News, GB News. I managed about two minutes of each. BBC News? Worthy and as dull as dishwater. Experts giving opinions that were so bland as to be meaningless. Both the right and left criticise the BBC as being biased towards the other. In truth, to me they simply employ bland people who try and sit on the fence and not get too many splinters up their bum. Sky News? The experts all seem as if they have simply spent five minutes googling the subject before they came on and were trying to have a range of mildly controversial to at least gain a modicum of reaction. They all seem to me as if they've never actually walked down the Old Kent Road, let alone go to any of the places they are talking about. GB News? I rarely watch it and now I know why. It seems to employ a bunch of raving looneys to spout the controversial views to get the blood flowing of the normal working man.
The hot topic was the mistaken release from prison of an illegal immigrant who had committed sex offences. Now I know a little of how prisons run. A friend of mine was Duncan McLoughlan, who was the governor of the Maze Prison in Northern Ireland during the troubles. Over a decade ago, he told me that prisons were at breaking point, experienced staff were leaving and not being replaced, the fabric of the buildings was falling apart and the systems being used were not up to scratch. I asked what would happen. His answer was chilling. As I recall he said "If prison officers are not well paid, well looked after and supported by management, they are susceptible to criminal gangs. If prisoners do not have a basic quality of life, they get unruly and hard to manage and if you do not have experienced officers, who you can trust, using fit for purpose systems, mistakes are made, people are incorrectly released, housed in the wrong wings, etc. When all of these things happen, the prison service is untenable".
The service was being underfunded then and it is far worse now. When you have ignorant pundits calling for the Home Secretary to resign (who has been in place for all of five minutes), because "it is on their watch", you are spectacularly missing the point. Training officers, sorting out dilapidated buildings, putting in systems that are fit for a digital world with drones takes time, costs money and us, the taxpayer has to pay for it. If the Home Secretary gets sacked every time a prisoner is incorrectly released, then you'd have a new one every week and they'd never learn. But not a single pundit said this. As I say, I am not an expert, but I have had access to someone who was, so I have a clear idea of the problems. It seems to me that the BBC don't want to say it because they don't want to express an opinion, Sky News don't want to say it because their guests were too thick to google "root causes of UK prison crisis". Here is an extract of what Google's AI search said
- Underfunding and understaffing: Deep funding cuts in the early 2010s have not been fully reversed, and the prison system has struggled with staff reductions, making it difficult to manage the population effectively.
- Lack of adequate capacity: The number of prison places has not kept pace with the rising demand. A promised building program has also faced delays, leaving the system stretched thin.
- Ineffective alternatives to prison: There has been a failure to sufficiently invest in alternatives to prison and preventive services, meaning more people end up in custody when they may not need to be.
- Systemic issues within the criminal justice system: The combination of court backlogs and a more risk-averse probation service, partly due to high-profile failures, has created pressure at multiple points in the system.
As you can imagine, none of that was what the bonkers looneys on GB News were interested in.
Now if it was just one story on the news which was like this, I'd scarcely notice, but it seems to be every story. The news should be the reporting of facts, by reporters on the ground. It has become a procession of talking heads, who seem to me to be completely ignorant, in a studio. It's true of all of the news channels. Each has its own sort of pundits, but none are much good. I have, very occasionally, been asked to be a pundit on the news. Mostly around libraries and music industry issues. What they want is a pithy quote of less than ten seconds. It is impossible to say anything of value in such a short time.
As I lay and soaked, I realised that what was making me feel so disconnected was the fact that I was born and raised in a different world. One where facts, rather than opinions was the main content of TV news. Reporters went to the scene of newsworthy items and dug up stories. I suspect most news teams now simply trawl Twitter for good clips, that fit their agenda. Elon Musk claims Twitter has democratised information. The problem is that if every news story has a million tweets, where 99% of the people do not know the facts and are simply banging keyboards in their bedrooms, how can anything be deemed worth reading? It isn't Musks fault that finding the truth on Twitter is like spotting your relative in the crowd at Old Trafford, when you watch Match of The Day.
I realised that it wasn't so much I feel I am inhabiting someone else's body, and I've stolen their memories. I realised that I am now in a world that is completely alien. There is little on TV that interests me, except football. Actually finding anything interesting on social media becomes harder every day. I am lucky, I am into music and I play in band. Watching live music gives me some respite from a world which is completely dysfunctional. I almost feel like when they switched on the Hadron collider, they warped us into a parallel world, where things superficially look the same, but are in truth completely different and alien. It's just that they didn't, it happened on this world and none of us noticed. If you want a dose of reality, why not come to the Dublin Castle on Saturday and experience something real and raw for a change. The False Dots may not cure the world, but we may take your mind off the fact it's become a lunatic asylum for an hour or two!