Tuesday, 28 December 2021

Brian Coleman endorses his successor Anne Clarke as Prime Minister material!

It's not often that this blog agrees with former Mayor of Barnet and former GLA member Brian Coleman. However, we've never denied that he has brilliant (if sometimes feral) political instincts and is a great strategic judge of character of politicians. This was demonstrated by his take down of Boris Johnson when he was campaigning to be leader (which of course he won). Brian rightly predicted that Boris would be a disaster and correctly identified all of the character traits that would eventually lead to the undoing of Boris (and possibly the Conservatives). 

Over the last six months, Brian Coleman has been labelling his succsessor Anne Clarke, who is on the GLA member for Barnet and Camden (Brian was the GLA rep 2002-2014 until his bad behaviour saw voters tire of his behaviour and a 20,000 majority became a 20,000 loss), as "The Cricklewood housewife".


Many had assumed (me included) that this was simply a misogynistic jibe, directed at Anne to undermine her. However, anyone who knows Brian knows that he's a man who studies political history and understands the nuances of Tory politics better than anyone. They will also know that he is a massive fan of Margaret Thatcher (the feeling was not mutual, according to my mum, who knew Maggie and had been urged by her to stand for Parliament in the 1970's, when the two worked together for a local charity. Maggie told my mum Parliament was full of useless men and it needed more competent women, even though my Mum would have stood for Labour). 

Over the weekend, I was discussing Brian's jibe with a friend and he said "You know that isn't an insult from Brian, it is a recognition of talent". I thought he was taking the mickey, so he said "If you don't believe me, google 'Finchley Housewife' " . This morning my wife reminded me of the conversation, so I did a quick google. 

The first article to pop up was from the Times in 2004. When I read it I was astounded.  The article states:

I first filmed her in 1975 when she challenged Ted Heath for the Tory leadership. Heath’s people dismissed her as the Finchley housewife, and Heath himself claimed she wanted to turn the Tories into a “middle-class preservation society”.

I raised this charge with her and asked whether she, seen as being a middle-class woman from the south, could win back lost Tory votes in the industrial north. “But it wasn’t I who lost those votes,” she replied. “It was Mr Heath. And he is a middle-class Conservative gentleman from the south of England.”

When I read this, I realised there was no way Brian would use the term 'housewife' as a cheap put down. He worshipped Thatcher and despised Heath. Brian Coleman, better than anyone, knew Thatcher drew strength from the jibe. When I saw his tweet, I originally thought he was simply being a plonker. When I read the article, I realised he was startstruck and the tweet was the best compliment he could pay Anne. I suspect that secretly, he may even had voted for her in the GLA elections (although of course he'd deny it). 

Anne is a friend and although we are members of different parties, I rate her. It hadn't occur to me that Brian rated her even more highly than I di and see's her as the first Labour female Prime Minister. He's not a man who would not be aware of Maggie's nickname from the Heathites. As he's not become a Heathite, it can only be the highest compliment Brian could pay a female opponent.  

Maybe it's taken a pandemic for me and Brian to see eye to eye on something!




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Monday, 27 December 2021

The year in blogs - My summary of 2021 through the 'Barnet Eye'

 In the intermission between Christmas and New Year, as a tradition I do a series of blogs where I reflect on the previous year. Generally, once I write a blog I forget all about it. So it's a good reminder for me as much as anything. Today we look at the year in blogs. I pick my favourite from each month of the year. 

January.

A sad month for me. I lost my cousin Tessie Fanning RIP , who was my age and was a little ray of sunshine in my life. Tessie was born with Downs syndrome, the ninth of my Uncle Jimmy and Aunty Josie's ten kids. Growing up, her brother Greg, a year older than me, was one of my best mates. Although he's a Man Utd fan we've always got on well. I'd spend a lot of time at his house and got to know Tessie. You couldn't ignore her. I didn't realise it for many years but Tessie was proper punk rock without ever realising it, which was probably why I lovred her so much. In a house of Utd fans, she was an Arsenal fan. She never took any bullshit from anyone. If someone was droning on or irritating her, she'd tell them in no uncertain terms. She wore the clothes she wanted and did the things she wanted. I used to take her to Lourdes with HCPT group 560. She'd throw a strop if I didn't push her wheelchair or didn't sit next to her at dinner. She'd tell everyone I was her favourite cousin. She was mine (and I have a lot of them!). God Bless you Tessie. She taught me the most important lesson of all. Everyone matters, no matter who they are and what their challenges are. Tessie was in the care of Barnet Council social services. That is one reason why I've written this blog. For her and her friends.

February.

If I thought January was bad, February was terrible. The son of the drummer in our band took his own life. With lockdown, we couldn't give Graham the support he deserved or needed. His son was the second child of a close friend to lose their life. Another blow was that the other friend got the coroners verdict on their daughter in the same month. The family were not happy with the verdict. It tried to sum up my feelings in Suicide and young people - The unimaginable grief  I'm not entirely sure I succeeded, but I tried. I actually shed a tear rereading this.


March

In March, I took the rather extreme measure of shaving my head, to raise awareness of suicide and mental health issues. I felt I had to make a statement to express my solidarity with my Graham and my friends Chris and Elaine who'd also lost their daughter - Suicide - Where can you get support when you need .. - did it do any good? I've no idea. In hindsight, I think I may have had a mini meltdown. I just felt that I needed to do something, but was completely impotent in the situation.  In truth, the first three months of the year were horrible beyond belief. On putting this list together, I thought long and hard about whether I should feature these. In truth, I'd be totally dishonest if I'd picked one of the others. This was all I thought about at the time.

April.

So in April, I wrote a blog about how the past of our fine nation has given us the building blocks for a better future and why we need to honour the past and preserve the best of it, so we can learn the lessons. The blog The past is done. Lets fix the future gave me the opportunity to say a few things I've wanted to say for a long time about how we can use the building blocks of the past to make the future better. The blogs is primarily about architecture and how our local authority is at risk of making the same terrible mistake BR's management wanted to make in the 1960's when they decided to demolish St Pancras station, a decision that Sir John Betjemin lead a successful campaign to reverse.

May.

My choice from June is a bit of fun. I asked the question "How many Guitars do you need?"

You may be shocked by my answer. It is not enough.

June.

This was the month when normal life started to return. I saw my first gig for 15 months, the rather wonderful Ray Gelato at Ronnie Scotts - Lunchtime set 20 June... Whatever happens in the rest of my life, this will be a moment I will remember with affection. Ray was the perfect gig to mark my return to real music (ie with musicians playing in front of you). Ray is a wonderful guy. His music ain't gonna change your life, but it will damn well put a smile on your face. God Bless you Ray!

July

July was the month that I wrote the blog that got the best ever response. It was the 10th anniversary of the passing of Amy Winehouse and I wrote a blog about the Amy I knew. Amy rehearesed at our studios and we loved her. Total strangers sstopped me and thanked me for writing it. What more can I say  The Amy Winehouse I knew at Mill Hill Music Complex...

August

The year started off on a Sad note. It got better. One of my mates, John Murphy's son Michael competed in the Paralympics for Ireland. To say I'm dead proud of Michael is an understatement. It certainly was a highlight of the year -  Congratulations to local boy Michael Murphy for an amazing performance at the Tokyo Paralympics 

September 

In September I wrote a blog which really hit a nerve. I explained why I've never felt so terrified for the future in my life ... it's another one where people start telling me that they are glad I said it. It[s one of those moments that validate the efforts I put into this. 

October

In October, the band went to Portugal to record an album. It was a blast. It was needed by all of us. It got me back to feeling like a human being.  Needing a reboot when you are fifty nine, fat and falling apart ... My advice? get yourself a reboot. It was only reading Septembers choice that I realise how much this was needed.

November

It was a tough choice picking a blog from November. It is clear I'd got my mojo back! So I chose I may have taken my best ever picture of Mill Hill... which is something I'm proud of. There are some other crackers there.

December

And we finish with what I feel is the most important blog of December  The difference between opinions and facts sometimes things just need to be said.


Lets hope that 2022 is a better year. 

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Sunday, 26 December 2021

The tweets of the week in the Borough of Barnet - 26th December 2021

 Happy St Stevens day! (AKA Bozing day). When I was a kid, this was a big day. Being from a good Catholic household and going to a Catholic school, I was an alter server. St Steven was the patron St of Alter servers. On his feast day, the Sacred Heart laid on a special treat for Alter Servers on St Stevens day. We had a special mass at 8am that it was compulsory to attend! At some point, a new, young Priest Fr Jimmy Sheil (God rest his soul, he died not too long ago) turned up. Jimmy moved it to Ten AM and gave us a little party afterwards, where we got sweets and fizzy drinks. Jimmy was a brilliant man. He loved sports, especially Rugby and was always a laugh. The Alter Servers doubled in size when he was around. So wherever you are Jimmy, RIP. I can't think of Boxing Day without remembering Jimmy. Anyway, without further ado, here's my selection of the very best tweets of the week. 

1. Having mentioned Jimmy, it seems appropriate to pick this tweet first. The Good Neighbour scheme for Burnt Oak and Mill Hill have their annual Xmas lunch at The Sacred Heart. It is a brilliant local charity. 



2. My Christmas wish for the year is that the Council and historic England to pull their finger out and sort this. A Merry Xmas to our good friend Mr Mark Amies, who does so much wonderful work preserving our local history


3. It is always a joy to bring you details of a new local blog. I like the look of this one. And Merry Xmas to our Welsh Harpies friends


4. If anyone out there didn't get me an Xmas present because they weren't sure what to get, I'd love one of these Cricklewood Classics! Our little patch used to be the heart of the British Auto and Aerospace sectors. I'm not sure if anything is made in the Borough anymore?


5. Nice post from the Finchley dogwalkers, many locals have dogs, which we all want to keep healthy


6. We have a new bridge in Finchley and it's been officially christened!


7. Well done to all of the volunteers who helped


8. As ever briliant tweeting from the Mill Hill Historical Society


9. You have to smile.....


10. And on the subject of smiles!



Enjoy the rest of the holiday safely and happuly

That's all folks.

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Friday, 24 December 2021

Barnet Eye Advent calendar - 24th December

So our journey to Christmas is nearly complete. I do hope you've enjoyed a few of the treats we've given you about our neighbourhood. I also sincerely hope one or two of you have been generous enough to decide to give some of your time or money to some of the great organisations we've covered.

Today, our little treat comes from Hendon on Sea!!!! The start of the powerboat season at the Welsh Harp. I must say I love this video, shot in 1932, it shows the fun side of the age. I do hope you have as much fun this Christmas as the people in this little film have.



And so onto todays featured Charity. 2,000 years ago today (according to tradition), a young woman was heavily pregnant. She didn't have the option of a hospital, pain relief or even a whiff of happy gas. As an unmarried mother, she would have been shunned by the untra orthadox society she lived in. She would have had little support. Now whatever you believe about the story of the birth of Jesus and whether Mary really was a virgin, there is one thing you can be sure of. If you are about to give birth today, things are better than they were for Mary! Mary would have had no choice in the matter of a natural child birth. Luckily for my family, when Mrs T (my wife, not the former Prime Minister) was giving birth, she was well prepared. We had attended sessions organised by Barnet NCT, which meant that we were as well prepared as we could be for the experience. So on Christmas Eve, there really could be no other charity to feature. If you are embarking on the journey that is pregnancy and childbirth, I'd strongly recommend checking out NCT - http://www.nct.org.uk/branches/barnet - whilst our children are now teenagers, we still are in contact with friends we made in the group.

They say: 
NCT wants all parents to have an experience of pregnancy, birth and early parenthood that enriches their lives and gives them confidence in being a parent.
Our charitable purpose:
- We offer information and support in pregnancy, childbirth and early parenthood.
- We campaign to improve maternity care and ensure better services and facilities for new parents.
- We aim to give every parent the chance to make informed choices.
- We want to make sure that everyone has access to our services and activities.
Company Overview
NCT is the UK's leading charity for parents. Every year we support thousands of people through the incredible life changing experience of pregnancy, birth and early parenthood. Learn more about who we are. Becoming a parent is a life-enhancing experience, but it can also be challenging and sometimes stressful. We are here to help you through this transition, offering relevant information, reassurance and mutual support
Description
Supporting you to be the parent you want to be 

Keep connected with NCT Barnet Join our Facebook page to keep updated https://www.facebook.com/NCTBarnetbranch



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Tuesday, 21 December 2021

The difference between opinions and facts

Recently I've all but stopped looking at Twitter, except to post links and to reseearch the tweets of the week feature. I find it ever more frustrating to watch ill intentioned malcontents, who seemingly rejoice in persuading the vulnerable to do themselves harm. It is simply not worth engaging with such malicious people. When dealing with compulsive liars, it soon becomes clear that they enjoy spouting rubbish, so engagement simply encourages them. 

To me, such people are the embodyment of evil. What I find even more sickening is the use of the Christian cross as some sort of symbol of legitimacy. As someone of faith, this disgusts me. I wouldn't put a cross on my profile, I don't believe faith is to weaponised. I believe faith is a private matter. It should guide us in our humanity when it is at its best. It is not and never has been a substitute for science. I believe that the greatest gift God gave us was the ability to apply scientific method to our world, to make life better for all. I believe that God supplied the toolbox but we write the manual and use the tools. This is why we have been able to invent vaccines to defeat diseases such as Polio. Faith is very different to science, it is simply a collection of opinions, none of which can be verified. Two people can read the same text and reach completely different conclusions (although in my experience, those who shout loudest about their faith haven't actually read the books properly). That is the wonder of humanity. Science is different. It is all about the establishment of facts, rules and testable theories. If something cannot be tested, no matter how much you may argue, it is only an opinion until such time as proof becomes available. Sometimes this may never come about. Take the issue of intelligent alien life on other planets. A statistician may calculate that is 99.999% probably, but until we can see verifiable evidence (ie tangeible artifacts/communications, not blurry pictures) it is only an opinion (please note I made the probability up as an illustration and used the example purely as it is one that is easy to demonstrate).

Many on Twitter are either too stupid or too dishonest to understand that if an opinion is expressed in a newspaper or science journal, it is still an opinion. Quoting articles from rather scientifically unreliable sources such as The Daily Mail comment pages as facts is simply not honest. I have no problem at all with the Daily Mail or any other paper printing opinions that are not scientifically verifiable. Debate is healthy in a free society. It is how we move on and improve our understanding (which as I mentioned earlier is our most precious gift).  These pieces have to be treated as opinions. Uusally these articles take a mish mash of various information, some anecdotal, some speculative and a smattering of statistics (which may or may not be applicable). 

A good example is the coverage of how deadly the Omicron variant is. Studies of the outbreak in South Africa show that in their population, it is less harmful than previous waves such as the Delta Variant. This may or may not be true in the UK, but we have a very different population, with many variables, so it will take time to understand the full risks properly. To my mind, there are three easily identifiable differences between us and South Africa.

1) We have a much greater elderly population, who are far more vulnerable.

2) We have far more obese members of society than South Africa. Again they are more vulnerable

3) It is summer in South Africa. People are outside more and vitamin D levels are higher. 

I am not a scientist. These may make no difference at all. It is my opinion (which is very ill informed) that they might. What we do know is that Omicron is spreading through our nation. This is provable by genome sequencing of tests. It appears that vaccines are less effective in preventing infections, but will prevent serious illness in the majority of the population. To me that is a sensible reason to get vaccinated. Over the course of my life, I've probably had ten or so tetanus vaccinations. If we have to get vaccinated every year for the foreseeable future, to me that is preferable to running the risk of serious illness or death. Again that is my opinion.

In short what I am saying is that if someone says something is a fact, it has to be verifiable. That means that it has to have come from a trustworthy source and they have to have evidence that it is 100% correct. If it cannot be verified, then they should present it as opinions and state that there is strong evidence to support this opinion.

Rant over. 

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Sunday, 19 December 2021

The tweets of the week in the London Borough of Barnet - 19th December 2021

 So how has your week been? This was meant to be one of my best weeks of the year. I managed to play five a side at Powerleague and watch the mighty Hadley FC beat Crawley Town 5-0. I was meant to be going to see The Vibrators last night at the Dublin Castle and the Pogue Traders at the same venue. My best mate is isolating as his daughter has Covid. As with last year, as Christmas moves closer, it seems to move further away. I was planning to attend mass at The Sacred Heart on Xmas Eve at 5pm. I've just learned it's been cancelled. So that's been my week. What have our local tweeters been up to?

1. I love this thread. What unite's George Michael and Syd's barbers?


2. This strange glow in the sky has been causing a lot of chit chat on social media. We won't spoil the fun and explain


3. Well done to my old school for engaging in the proper spirit of Xmas


4. My pal Dr Julia Hines put a lot of work into this thread. It is worth a read. I've known Julia a long time and she's someone who's opinion I trust without question.


5. I do love living in a City where we can celebrate the victories of the Algerian Football team


6. This tweet caught my eye. It seems that a new film studio opens every week somewhere around here


7. We seem to be seeing a lot of burst watermains locally at the moment


8. Worth a mention


9. Sadly, after 3 years, this is still happening


10. Nice!



That's all folks!

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Saturday, 18 December 2021

The Barnet Eye Saturday list #331 - Reasons to be Cheerful (part 4)

 I wasn't going to write a list today. If truth be told, I was feeling uninspired. I am sitting in the studio reception. It should be rammed today, we should have at least 30 sessions booked. We have 15. I've spent all week refunding bands for cancelled sessions, which were not required as their well paid Xmas shows have bitten the dust. I shouldn't even be working, Saturday is a day off, but one of my staff is off with Omicron. Luckily he wasn't around when he contracted it, so we are only a man down. But then I saw a post on Facebook that a mate of mine has got married (he'd kept it quiet). It cheered me up. Amongst all of the despair, I thought, yeah, you know what, the world goes on. Why be miserable. I stuck on Ian Dury and thought, I'll do my bit to spread a little joy. I was going to make my list, but when Ian Dury has already made a list, why would I argue with him. While the music of Ian Dury still exists, the world will always spin on its access. 

Summer, Buddy Holly, the working folly
Good golly, Miss Molly and boats
Hammersmith Palais, the Bolshoi Ballet
Jump back in the alley and nanny goats
Eighteen wheeler Scammells, Dominica camels
All other mammals plus equal votes
Seeing Piccadilly, Fanny Smith and Willie
Being rather silly and porridge oats
A bit of grin and bear it, a bit of come and share it
You're welcome we can spare it, yellow socks
Too short to be haughty, too nutty to be naughty
Going on forty no electric shocks
The juice of a carrot, the smile of a parrot
A little drop of claret, anything that rocks
Elvis and Scotty, the days when I ain't spotty
Sitting on a potty, curing smallpox
Health service glasses, gigolos and brasses
Round or skinny bottoms
Take your mum to Paris, lighting up a chalice
Wee Willie Harris
Bantu Steven Biko, listening to Rico
Harpo Groucho Chico
Cheddar cheese and pickle, a Vincent motorsickle
Slap and tickle
Woody Allen, Dali, Domitrie and Pascale
Balla, balla, balla and Volare
Something nice to study, phoning up a buddy
Being in my nuddy
Saying okey-dokey, sing-a-long a Smokie
Coming out of chokie
John Coltrane's soprano, Adie Celentano
Beuno Colino

Here's a playlist to cheer you up. If it doesn't you are beyond redemption! This time next week it will be Xmas and in two weeks it will be 2022. We can only hope that it will be a better year, if that isn't a reason to be cheerful what is?

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Friday, 17 December 2021

Why the Shropshire North by election matters

 Last night, the Liberal Democrats produced a spectacular result in the Shropshire North by election.

Whilst I am sure many will simply dismiss it as 'mid term blues' an enormous amount of work was put into winning the seat by the Lib Dems. Even more interesting is that the Labour party put a degree of effort into making sure their core vote held up, which meant that there was only a 12.4% decline in share. The Green party actually saw an increase in their share of the vote. Normally in such by elections, everyone gets behind the party most likely to boot out the encumbant and give the Govt a bloody nose. This clearly didn't happen. The scale of the victory, overturning a 21,000 majority and winning by 6,000 is unprecedented, but when the other opposition parties turned in half decent performances, it is even more incredible.

Whilst most Tory commentators will try and dismiss it, this shows the absolute disgust of ordinary Tory voters at the Government of Boris Johnson. If the Lib Dems had scraped in by a couple of hundred votes, it would have been a brilliant result, but a 6,000 majority is something else completely.

We saw a whole raft of new Tory MP's in 2019, swept in as the voters decided to tell Labour that they couldn't stomach Corbynism. Opposition politics has returned to something resembling normal, with a mildly centre left Labour party that many now consider electable and an agile Lib Dem party that is more than capable of deploying it's resources intelligently to build up it's credibility. 

I'm not party to such things, but I anticipate the Lib Dems will see a surge in membership (and associated membership fees) as a result. This will only enhance their ability to turn in such results.  In terms of where we were in the electoral cycle, we are pretty much where we were in 1995 under John Major. The Tories under Major buried their heads in the sand and in 1997 Tony Blair won a 180 seat majority. In 2019, Boris Johnson appeared to do impressive job at the polls. However, if you dig a bit deeper, it is not quite what it seems. Many centre and centre left voters who had supported Blair simply couldn't vote for Corbyn. The Labour party machine was not behind Corbyn and was in a state of disarray. No one knew where Labour stood on the matter of the day - Brexit. It was a shambles. In hindsight, a majority of 80 was actually not an amazing performance. It was nowhere near Blair's 180 majority. 

The Tories have a dilemma. If Boris was replaced now, whoever wins would have a poison chalice, but the longer they leave it, the less trust voters will have. It is clear Boris Hohnson isn't up to the job and leaving him there in a pandemic is almost criminal as far as I am concerned. He's lost moral authority and this will cost lives. What the good people of North Shropshire have shown is that they recognise this. They could not have sent a clearer message to the Tories. It will be interesting to see whether they listen.



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Thursday, 16 December 2021

Why doesn't Boris Johnson just tell us the truth about covid and vaccine passports?

 I have no doubt at all that by Monday, we will have major restrictions or a lockdown imposed on us. I also have no doubt at all that we'd have one now if there was not a by election today. Boris Johnson is terrified of losing the Stafford North byelection after the last few weeks. He knew that a new lockdown would be the final nail in the coffin of his campaign with die hard covid denying Tories. I'm sure that all of the scientific advice he has got over the last couple of days has been to put new restrictions in place to prevent our hospitals getting swamped. As the Omicron varian is doubling every two days, it is fair to say the damage, hospitalisations and deaths will be twice as bad as they should have been. I watched his press conference yesterday and I was bemused. It was called at the last minute and I expected new restrictions. What we got was bluff and bluster from Boris. I believe that he was going to announce new restrictions and changed his mind, at the last minute, for political reasons. In short, we have a Prime Minister, who I believe is putting his own job and his parties narrow political interests before those of the country.

As for Rishi Sunak, 21 months ago he was widely praised for the Furlough and other help for businesses. Now we are being thrown to the wolves. In my business, I've seen 75% of our studio bookings cancelled, as Xmas gigs, parties and events are cancelled. Musicians can't afford to rehearse without gigs. We've had a dire 2 years. In November, it seemed like we were finally getting back on track. December is a key month for us. Usually the month is jam packed with well paid gigs, so musicians get some funds to see them through the lean winter months of January and February when people are skint. We've all beeb torpedoe'd by the crisis. Without serious support, we will find ourselves in deep trouble. We can't blame Boris Johnson for emergence of Omicron in South Africa, but we can blame him for not having a plan in place, given that it was entirely predictable (Back in January, I predicted that this would happen (I was out by a month)  - 'November -The UK enters lockdown as new cases of the mutant virus run rampant.') We can also blame him for not having a working track and trace system that could have nipped the Omicron plague in the bud. 

Then there are the restrictions he has brought in. To me, wearing masks on public transport and in shops is entirely sensible. I also agree with vaccine passports, however, it enfuriates me that Boris hasn't explained the real reason why they are desireable and necessary. I can only assume that yet again, this is down to his fear of the mad Tory libertarian right. I was sceptical about them until I spoke to a well informed customer, who is a government advisor. The purpose of the vaccine passports is to prevent unvaccinated people, who are far more likely to need medical treatment, from attending superspreader events. The less unvaccinated people who get covid, the less strain on the health service. As Boris and his party are libertarian at heart, this does not sit well with his ideals and he knows it's too hard sell for the 100 odd hardliners in his party. 

I suspect that we'll have a three week 'circuit breaker' lockdown announced in the next couple of days. But hey, what do I know.

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Wednesday, 15 December 2021

This just isn't funny anymore - A guest blog by B. Johnson (no relation)

 Hi. My name is Barry Johnson. Until two years ago, it was quite a nice name. Then a certain Boris Johnson became Prime Minister. My life changed. All of my mates rechristened me Boris. At first it was mildly funny. I'd walk in the pub and they'd say "Got Brexit done yet Boris?". Then he became Prime Minister. For a while, that was good. My friends would buyt me drinks and say "Well done seeing off that Corbyn fella". As news of the many wives of Boris emerged, the comments became "Does your missus know where you are?". This was starting to wear thin. Then the pandemic struck. For six months I didn't see any of them. When we re-emerged from lockdown hibernation, we had eat out to help out. All of my mates would say "Tell dishy Rishi thanks very much" as burgers were scoffed and beers where quaffed. As the winter lockdowns were implemented, my Whatsapps started to buzz with messages such as "Thanks for cancelling Christmas Boris". Things picked up as the lockdown was lifted. Friends would text to say "Don't worry Boris, I've had my booster". Things were just about returning to normal. Then Omicron was announced. I walked in the pub and everyone said "So when are you cancelling Christmas Boris?". Then all of last years parties at No 10 came out. The mood started to turn hostile. It seemed friends were channelling their anger at me. I'd not risen to the bait previously. When you do, you never hear the end of it. But I snapped. "Look, I'm not bllody Boris Johnson" I announced. To my surprise, I was swamped in a stream of abuse. "You didn't say that when we were buying you pints in the summer!". This weekend was too much. On entering the pub, the message was "If you cancel Christmas, we'll all be round yours for the party". This was not a joke it was a threat. It isn't funny anymore, but what can I do? I wouldn't mind, but I'm Barry not Boris. Maybe I could change my name by deed poll. Any suggestions? The way things are going, I am worried that Boris will have to  change his name to Barry. Did I walk under a ladder or something?

Have a lovely Christmas and please don't come around to my place if my namesake cancels Christmas

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Barry Johnson is a reader of the Barnet Eye. Guest blogs are always welcome. Email using the link in the Desktop version side bar or DM us on Twitter, 

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