Wednesday 20 January 2010

Winston Churchill is still alive !

I bumped into one of my old friends today. Let's just say he has some rather bonkers interesting theories on the way the Country is run. Whilst you or I might believe that Gordon Brown*/David Cameron* (delete as appropriate) are useless, evil barons, set on a mission to destroy the economy, my friend believes that there is no such thing as democracy and it's all just a "front" to suppress us. I've got to say that normally I don't subscribe to these conspiracy theories. Human nature is such that we like gossiping, we always have a resentment of our boss and highly driven psychotic types who would enact such a conspiracy generally don't have a good track at all working harmoniously.

Having said that, his latest crackpot interesting theory was just so bonkers interesting that I felt I had to share it with you. "You know Winston Churchill is still alive and they are going to install him as a puppet leader". I pointed out that he was in his 90's when he died. They didn't have the technology back then to reverse old age and as far as I know they still don't. "No, no, no you've got it all wrong. They took cells from him while he was still alive and they have cloned him. The cells are not a copy of Winston Churchill, they are Winston Churchill". A quick visit to Wiki told me that the first Tadpole had successfully been cloned in 1952, around the time that Winston Churchill was back in charge at No 10. Can you imagine the conversation "Prime Minister, we've come up with a spiffing idea to ensure that we beat the Nazi's if they ever come back. They've successfully cloned a tadpole, so we thought if we took a few cells from you, we could clone you and you could run the Country forever". The mind boggles at what Winston Churchills response would be.

My friend believes that this replacement Winston Churchill was cloned at Porton Down and is around 25 years old. He's been educated at a special institute where the Establishment train up such people for the grand master plan, which is the re-establishment of the British empire. It got me to thinking  - Would Winston Churchill be the great wartime Leader he became if he'd been hothoused in a special establishment school, rather than lead a swashbuckling life travelling the world. Would Winston Churchill have been the biggest critic of the awful policies of the Nazis and their master race creed if he'd been brought up being told he was the saviour of the free world? When it comes to making great leaders is it nature or nurture, genes or life experience?

My friend looked rather puzzled when I asked which other leaders have been cloned. Just imagine a whole army of Maggie Thatchers, Tony Blairs, John Majors and Gordon Browns being brewed up as we speak. As I got home, an awful thought struck me. Just suppose that at the "establishment institute" where the clones are schooled, the Tony Blair clone and the Maggie Thatcher clone got together and procreated? Now I'm scared.

If I mysteriously disappear tonight off the face of the earth and this blog is mysteriously removed, you'll know that my good friend was on to something.

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