This blog was originally going to be entitled Public Enemy No 1. I will leave you to guess who it was going to beabout, but let's just say that he's a promenent Barnet Conservative. Sadly, as I'm dyslexic I miswrote the title. I then realised that my mistake was a message from God telling me that there was an even more important message to pass on (yes it's true, it isn't only George Bush who gets messages directly from God and they are not all about invading foreign countries).
As I considered the title of the blog, I came to the realisation that basically Barnet Council is suffering from a corporate rectal blockage. What causes rectal blockages? A poor diet. In the case of Barnet Council, there is a whole machine geared to produce bullshit at huge expense. Perhaps the most appropriate recent example of this is Councillor Andrew Harper, who produced a "motion on squatting". If ever there was a Councillor in need of an enema, surely it is Councillor Harper. If you peruse the video I shot at the last council meeting, it was quite clear from the expression on Harper's face that he would benefit from a good flushing out. But I digress. Basically what has happened in Barnet is that there is a whole layer of the authority which is devoted solely to highly politically motivated navel gazing. About 4 years ago, BT contacted former leader Mike Freer (now MP for Finchley & Golders Green). They offered to enroll him in a program to "educate" him in the "ways of efficient running of a council". The carrot for Freer was lots of jollies in nice places and an "honoury" MBA from three of the finest business schools in the USA. Freer was enrolled in the BT Vital Vison program and learned all about how marvellous outsourcing is. Now Mike Freer clearly didn't bother to ask BT what was in it for them. Can you guess? Well they are one of the countries leading suppliers of outsourced services.
Freer came back, evangelised by a healthy bit of brainwashing and a whole army of consultants. BT were even kind enough to lend Barnet Council a senior officer, Max Wide, to help get the ball rolling. Huge savings were promised. A "virtual council" would be created, with only the finest mega companies selected to run services. Huge savings would magically appear as Council staff were sacked and contractors wheeled in to replace them. Of course we all know what happens if you are fed on a diet of hot air and bullshit, don't we?
To date the progress is thus :-
No savings
No proper plan
No Business case
Millions spent on consultants
Now, you'd think that the Tories, who believe in a relentless drive for efficiency, would have realised it has gone tits up. A similar experiment ended in Suffolk this week, when ordinary, sane Tory backbenchers called time on a similar experiment. Sadly, the Tory backbenchers of Barnet are either too dim or just don't care. The juggernaut moves on. In Suffolk, they realised that the process was stuck and that the leadership of the Council were a corproate rectal blockage. They realised a corporate enema was required, they administered it and are now getting on with the job of undoing the damage caused.
Will Barnet do the same? In Barnet Council we have the absurd situation of a gravely ill Leader, Lynne Hillan, who is continually absent. Her deputy, Councillor Andrew Harper, lacks authoritand credibility. He has been telling those Councillors who bother to listen that they mustn't rebel against Hillan, because the stress could kill her. The real power in Barnet is Councillor Brian Coleman, who's sole aim now is to get re-elected to the GLA next year (to keep his £50,000 allowance + expenses). Coleman showed this week that he's quite prepared to go against group policy (he publicly opposed the Saracens plan to move to Mill Hill), if he thinks it might save his skin. As a result, Barnet Council is in a hiatus. There is a situation where there is no management, no control and no direction. The Metpro scandal spirals ever onwards. Despite the evidence for all to see that Barnet Council have monumentally screwed up, no one has apologised, no one has admitted responsibility and no one is telling the truth. FOI requests are delayed and not answered in the legal timeframe. When the answers come, they are obtuse and unhelpful, often deliberately phrased so as to say nothing at all.
The time has come. The hosepipe must be inserted into the Barnet Council Corporate backside and all of this crap washed away. The hugely expensive consultants who have been unable to supply a credible business plan must be dispensed with and the Council senior officers must start doing their jobs. An audit should be performed of all senior staff positions, asking a simple question. What benefit do you add for the Taxpayers of Barnet and would they be inconvenienced if you left tomorrow. Staff must be allowed to innovate and identify saving within their own departments, rather than have ill thought out change foist upon them.
Sorry for the unpleasant descriptions contained within this blog. I am just completely sick to death of writing blogs, where I have to wade through Barnet Council reports that are complete crap. Fellow Barnet bloggers have identified all manner of waste, profligacy and stupidity, just by reading reports properly (something Councillors are paid to do and can't be bothered to do). The time has come for a complete clear out.
As I considered the title of the blog, I came to the realisation that basically Barnet Council is suffering from a corporate rectal blockage. What causes rectal blockages? A poor diet. In the case of Barnet Council, there is a whole machine geared to produce bullshit at huge expense. Perhaps the most appropriate recent example of this is Councillor Andrew Harper, who produced a "motion on squatting". If ever there was a Councillor in need of an enema, surely it is Councillor Harper. If you peruse the video I shot at the last council meeting, it was quite clear from the expression on Harper's face that he would benefit from a good flushing out. But I digress. Basically what has happened in Barnet is that there is a whole layer of the authority which is devoted solely to highly politically motivated navel gazing. About 4 years ago, BT contacted former leader Mike Freer (now MP for Finchley & Golders Green). They offered to enroll him in a program to "educate" him in the "ways of efficient running of a council". The carrot for Freer was lots of jollies in nice places and an "honoury" MBA from three of the finest business schools in the USA. Freer was enrolled in the BT Vital Vison program and learned all about how marvellous outsourcing is. Now Mike Freer clearly didn't bother to ask BT what was in it for them. Can you guess? Well they are one of the countries leading suppliers of outsourced services.
Freer came back, evangelised by a healthy bit of brainwashing and a whole army of consultants. BT were even kind enough to lend Barnet Council a senior officer, Max Wide, to help get the ball rolling. Huge savings were promised. A "virtual council" would be created, with only the finest mega companies selected to run services. Huge savings would magically appear as Council staff were sacked and contractors wheeled in to replace them. Of course we all know what happens if you are fed on a diet of hot air and bullshit, don't we?
To date the progress is thus :-
No savings
No proper plan
No Business case
Millions spent on consultants
Now, you'd think that the Tories, who believe in a relentless drive for efficiency, would have realised it has gone tits up. A similar experiment ended in Suffolk this week, when ordinary, sane Tory backbenchers called time on a similar experiment. Sadly, the Tory backbenchers of Barnet are either too dim or just don't care. The juggernaut moves on. In Suffolk, they realised that the process was stuck and that the leadership of the Council were a corproate rectal blockage. They realised a corporate enema was required, they administered it and are now getting on with the job of undoing the damage caused.
Will Barnet do the same? In Barnet Council we have the absurd situation of a gravely ill Leader, Lynne Hillan, who is continually absent. Her deputy, Councillor Andrew Harper, lacks authoritand credibility. He has been telling those Councillors who bother to listen that they mustn't rebel against Hillan, because the stress could kill her. The real power in Barnet is Councillor Brian Coleman, who's sole aim now is to get re-elected to the GLA next year (to keep his £50,000 allowance + expenses). Coleman showed this week that he's quite prepared to go against group policy (he publicly opposed the Saracens plan to move to Mill Hill), if he thinks it might save his skin. As a result, Barnet Council is in a hiatus. There is a situation where there is no management, no control and no direction. The Metpro scandal spirals ever onwards. Despite the evidence for all to see that Barnet Council have monumentally screwed up, no one has apologised, no one has admitted responsibility and no one is telling the truth. FOI requests are delayed and not answered in the legal timeframe. When the answers come, they are obtuse and unhelpful, often deliberately phrased so as to say nothing at all.
The time has come. The hosepipe must be inserted into the Barnet Council Corporate backside and all of this crap washed away. The hugely expensive consultants who have been unable to supply a credible business plan must be dispensed with and the Council senior officers must start doing their jobs. An audit should be performed of all senior staff positions, asking a simple question. What benefit do you add for the Taxpayers of Barnet and would they be inconvenienced if you left tomorrow. Staff must be allowed to innovate and identify saving within their own departments, rather than have ill thought out change foist upon them.
Sorry for the unpleasant descriptions contained within this blog. I am just completely sick to death of writing blogs, where I have to wade through Barnet Council reports that are complete crap. Fellow Barnet bloggers have identified all manner of waste, profligacy and stupidity, just by reading reports properly (something Councillors are paid to do and can't be bothered to do). The time has come for a complete clear out.
7 comments:
oy: stop nicking my childish toilet humour jokes about Andrew Harper. Nurse Angry is happy to assist with the insertion of the appropriate equipment, however, when duty calls.
I am sure there are many Barnet Council workers who want to do their best, in what used to be called "public service".
But I cannot think that potential senior staff, who spend five minutes on the internet with Barnet Eye, Mrs Angry, and so on, will want to come and work for the Council of Despair.
I imagine the whole of the management team will end up being contractors, if this goes on.
Dear Mrs Angry,
This blog was making childish jokes when your blog was but a sparkle in your eye
council of despair! good one baarnett ...
Other appropriate Carry On films:-
Carry on Regardless ( yes, really )
Carry on Spying ( sponsored by MetPro )
Carry on Raking in £250,000 p.a. ( Oh no I made that one up but it could be true )
Mr Mustard - here is a gift for your blog: here.
Be fair to Brian Coleman (well, this time, anyway).He is consistent - he opposed Barnet FC's plans for Copthall too. I think he can see that giving a 99 year lease to a limited partnership which includes one company that' s made multi million losses for the past 3 years; and which owns Saracens, may not turn out well. It will cost Barnet more to store the documents than they get in ground rent!Then there's the bad precedent for the Green Belt............
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