Saturday, 13 September 2014

The Saturday List #69 - Rog T's top ten sex tips !!!!!

So the Saturday list reaches edition number 69 !!!! We thought we'd give you our top ten sex tips to ensure you have a really romantic, raunchy evening.

1. Eight pints of beer and a vindaloo is not a great way to prepare for a night of lurve!!! There are only so many sins that a pack of Trebor Extra strong mints will hide. The only time this rule should be broken is when your partner has also had eight pints and a vindaloo, in which case it is a necessity.

2. Don't look at Twitter/Facebook/texts whilst making out. One of our studio customers was telling me that after a night out, he felt the need to engage the services of a lady of ill repute in the Kings Cross area. He said that the "date" was going swimmingly until he realised she was looking at her phone whilst he was doing the business.

3. Make sure that the bedroom door is shut, if you have pets and you want to have a bit of lurve. There is no greater passion spoiler than the labrador leaping on the bed in the middle of a good session.

4. Sharing a glass of Baileys to romantic music is a good way to get in the mood. Sharing two bottles isn't.

5. In the art of seduction, it is essential to set the mood. Soft lighting may assist. We tend to find that an excellent album to set the mood is Blank Generation by Richard Hell and the Voidoids. The album starts with the anthemic "Love Comes in Spurts" which is a surefire winner. It also rather helpfully has "Betrayal takes two" if you're planning on getting lucky with your best mates partner. Of course this music choice only really applies if your partner is a 70's punk rock nut!

6. Recognise that very few of us are psychic. Therefore if your partner is not doing what you want in the way you like, it is really quite a good idea to give them some encouragement to get their act together. Generally saying "I'd really like it if you do this like this" is far more likely to get results than "Oi dogbreath, is this the first time you've done this? Get your act together"

7. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Generally we find different things attractive and exciting. So bear this in mind. Men generally respond well to visual stimulus wheras women respond better to mental stimulation. So instead of assuming that something works for you, try and find out what works for your partner. If they say they like something, assume they are telling you that for a reason.

8.Switch off the mobile phone. If you are engrossed and the phone goes off, it will spoil it for both of you. You can always call back later.

9. Make a bucket list of things you fantasize about and share it with your partner (assuming his/her sister or his/her brother isn't top of the list if you know what I mean). If you don't you'll die with none of it done.

10. Don't spend your time reading silly sex tips on stupid blogs!  Generally the problem is staring you in the face if you think you need them. The problem is communication. If it ain't working, you are not communicating. If you are not communicating you are either with the wrong person or you are not giving their needs the respect they deserve. If you are not telling them what you want, in effect you are cheating both of you.

Have a great weekend! Why not join us tonight at the Chandos Arms for the Four Flavours music festival, which is running every Saturday night in September and is free.

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