I've decided to appoint myself to the role of Director General of the BBC. Why?
What did you watch on TV last night? I really had no interest in politics yesterday. I predicted in January what would happen, so for me and all my readers, this was very, very old news. As you know, I love football, but try as I may, I couldn't persuade my wife that Middlesborough vs Sunderland was thrilling viewing. She is pretty much politically aligned with me, but has little interest in the subject. She's 1,000 times more intelligent than I am, so I often ask her opinion and she's invariably right, without spending the hundreds of hours pouring over the subject that I do. After a brief discussion, we decided to watch "The Flight Attendent" on catch up. We enjoyed the first series. We watched the first two episodes of the second series a while back and struggled to get into it. We watched another three last night. I am still not 100% convinced, but it was the best option we could agree on. Anyway, enough of that lengthy preamble. What really struck me was just how little of interest there is on the 800 channels of TV we have to choose from. What we need is someone running the BBC who actually wants to make content that we might have some interest in watching. I think I'd do a rather good job. Here is what I'd do with BBC1 shedule for tonight (yes I know I'll be watching Manchester City on BT Sport in the Champions League, but you know what I mean),
First of all, here is the current schedule
Time | TV Show |
|---|
5:15 pm | |
6:00 pm | |
6:30 pm | |
7:00 pm | |
7:30 pm | |
8:00 pm | |
9:00 pm | |
10:00 pm | |
10:30 pm | |
10:40 pm | |
11:40 pm | |
And here is my schedule
Time | TV Show |
|---|
5:15 pm | Pointless - I'd keep this, it's a decent show |
6:00 pm | BBC News at Six I'd make the news 10 mins shorter. There are news channels for those that are interested. I'd make it shorter and snappier. A long news at 6pm is a waste of a slot. It's lazy programming using recylced clips from their news channel |
6:20 pm | BBC London News I'd make BBC London News shorter as well. There simply isn't enough genuinely interesting news in London to justify half an hour. I'd make it snappier and less Po faced and make at least 10 minutes of it focus on arts and culture |
6.40 pm |
Whats going on? A new, short, snappy show, featuring grassroots sports, art, culture and quirky stuff from around the UK. I'd invite people to submit their own content and it would highlight in peak. I'd get someone who was a decent and witty presenter to host. (Any show that shares a title with a Marvin Gaye song can't be too bad). The One show is very safe and dull. I don't hate it, but I never, ever get excited at the prospect. |
7:00 pm |
Top of the Pops - Eastenders has well outlived it's sell by date. It is depressing and dull. The Beeb should flog it off to ITV or a satellite channel. Make some money and put something a bit more uplifting on. Ideally TOTP would be on a Thursday, but as I'm writing this on a Tuesday I'd put it today. The TOTP format was stale when it was canned. I'd give it a Dr Who style rebrand. As one of the things the UL leads the world in is music, we should be showcasing it on Primetime TV. I'd have a couple of features on artists and get proper DJ's to host. I'd have guest spots with the likes of Garry Crowley, Robert Elms, Don Letts, David Rodigan doing slots on artists/genre's etc.
|
8:00 pm | UFO - I'm a self confessed Gerry Anderson nut, but that's nopt why I'd resurrect and makeover the show (well it sort of is, but you know what I mean). There are plenty of shows that could easily be amazing with a Dr Who style Russel T. Davies reboot. Think of the premise of the original UFO. A shady organisation called SHADO has a Unted Nations remit to kidnap people, erase their memories, spy on them etc, in it's mission to stop alien incursions. Even the army/navy and airforce are unaware of its activities. It is based under a film studio, which gives any 'funny goings on' a legitimate cover. It has bases all over the world and on the moon,with no public accountability at all. I'd have far less focus on the aliens and their activities. If you recall the orignal series, Moonbase was based with attractive staff and there were hints of all manner of steamy activities. You could have some real fun with this. You've got to admit it sounds more fun than dodgy, low budget shows about iffy antiques. If the Beeb got it right they could earn a fortune in exports.
|
9:00 pm | Celebrity Masterchef - I quite like Masterchef. I'd leave it be |
10:00 pm | |
10:30 pm | BBC London News - A short snappy local news is OK |
10:40 pm |
Thriller - Remember Thriller? It was a series that featured scary and spooky tales. Ideal for the post news slot. All of these fly on the wall documentaries are done to death. The only drama's we seem to get are cop drama's. Back in the day, we had proper, quality shows that you'd talk about at work/scool etc the next day. I love proper psychological drama's? I'd like to see new writers given commissions. Come up with interesting shows and support them. There's a whole raft of templates that could be adapted and there are cleverer people than me who could design new ones.
|
11:40 pm | A Question of Sport - A question of Sport is a good example of a format that works. If it ain't broke, don't fix it? |
So what do you think? An improvement? What would you change? What would you scrap, keep, bring back? Not everything is terrible,s ome things are fine. But it needs a shake up and it needs new ideas. It couldn't be clearer that the organisation is run by talentless bean counters who have no concept of exciting content. Why do we need Disney to make interesting documentaries about Wrexham FC (even my wife enjoys it) when we have a multi billion public broadcaster? I've never tried to pitch a TV show, but I have no doubt at all that it would be easier to a Disney style organisation than the Beeb. That is plain wrong. If Liz Truss wants to do something useful, she'd sack the entire board of the BBC and replace it with creative people (not Tory apparatchiks, who have ruined it over the last 12 years).
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