In an idle moment yesterday, I was thinking back to my very first girlfriend. I think we were both about six years old and we met on the set of a commercial we were both acting in, we really hit it off. We were the only kids amongst a lot of very serious adults, working hard on the production. We spent three days together and got on like a house on fire. After the shoot finished, we never saw each other again. Anyone who has ever participated in a TV advert shoot in the 1960's will know that you have a lot of time on your hands. We spent a lot of time discussing what we'd do when we grew up. She told me that she planned to be an actress and write books. I said I wanted to also be an actor and be in James Bond films. She told me that she wanted to live in a big house with apple trees. I told her that I wanted to live on a boat, keep dogs and cats and dress like a pirate. I wanted a parrot to sit on my shoulder.
I've no idea whether she achieved her dream. I can't recall her surname. I have never starred in a James Bond film, I don't have a boat, dress like a pirate or have a parrot to sit on my shoulder. I've had a cat and we've got two dogs, so I am living a little bit of the dream. There is still a little bit of my that would quite like to live on a canal longboat, with dogs and cats. I am not really sure that I want to dress as a pirate anymore. I think I'd probably just seen Long John Silver in Treasure Island at the time and it must've had a big impact on me. I quite liked the idea of being a buccaneer and sailing the world, looking for treasure.
Several members of my family are very much into boats. Sadly none of them dress like a pirate or have a parrot. I have come to realise that owning a boat is less about sailing the world, looking for lost treasure and a lot more about spending your life (and most of your cash) working on the boat, getting it ready for journeys that never seem to happen. But unlike a lot of people, they are at least living their dream.
My dream changed. When I was fourteen, I discovered rock and roll. For me, the dream is playing in a band, playing gigs and making recordings. When my children were small, I very much put my dream to one side. I think that your first priority is to fulfil your responsibilities, but now they are adults, I've thrown myself back into my music. I see so many of my friends and peers, who seem totally unable to give themself permission to enjoy themselves. People sometimes ask me about my bucket list. It is short. I've made sure I've done most of the things I want to do in life. I think that going to see Boz Scaggs live is perhaps one of the few things yet to be ticked off.
I've been to all of the places I had a burning desire to visit, I've seen just about all of the bands I want to see. Back in 1990, I went through a spell where I got into boats and sailing, but realised I am only really interested in the sailing part. Actually owning a boat is far too much hassle for a lazy git like me.
I was chatting to a friend earlier in the week. He was telling me about his aspirations for his forthcoming retirement. I was struck by the fact that he's spent the last 30 years not doing things he wanted to do. He has more than enough money to have done all of them, but seems unable to give himself permission to enjoy himself. I asked if he was now going to have a big splurge on holidays. His reply shocked me. He said "Well now I've not got cash coming in, I've got to be careful financially".
I do get that we all have to budget, but there are so many people I know who are well off enough to do all of the things that they'd like to, but are too risk averse and cautious with cash to enjoy themselves. Whilst dressing up as a pirate and living on a boat is not everyone's idea of fun, we all have our dreams. Our time on this planet is limited and we can't take our cash with us. Of course, we all have to decide what the right balance is for us. My friend is right to be careful with his cash and ensure he can make ends meet. I just hope that in a few years, he doesn't have regrets about the holidays he didn't have, the gigs and football he didn't go to and the restaurants he didn't visit.
We are lucky to live in London, the world is on our doorstep. My friend is planning to downsize, move out to the country, where he can have a nice house, with a nice view and a big nest egg. He was shocked when I said that if ever I moved, I'd move into town, so I could be even closer to all the things going on and an even quicker commute home. I don't really understand why anyone would want to live somewhere with nothing going on. But the beauty of life is that we are all different and see the world in different ways. Ultimately, when you are an adult you can do what you want, be it dress, like a pirate and live on a boat, move to the country and spend your life admiring the view from your living room or playing gigs in Camden Town. If it works for you and you are happy, then you've done something right. If you aren't happy, then maybe you need to have a look and make some changes. One thing I've become increasingly aware of is that you have to do things now. If you put it off, then the sands of time may run out. If you need to make changes, now is the time to do it.
Here's what living the dream looks like for me!
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